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Satan Wears Jeans

It was decided that Milliardo would only be able to send a message home once a month so Heero was a little put out that he was going to have to wait that long to find out how the ice bastard had taken the news that he was being baby sat by his arch enemy's self proclaimed sister. He was only sorry he'd missed it, Relena said the two got off on the wrong foot and had looked close to exchanging blows before they'd even gotten into the plane. Damn but he was sorry he'd missed it. Everyone agreed it was sorts cruel but most everyone thought it was funny too and wished they could have been there too. Life went on with Maia under close guard as she was treated for her various injuries. Finally she was up to her physical therapy and it was time to start planning for her disappearance. Showing up at her room a half an hour before her therapy session was to begin Trowa knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in." Maia called out, biting back a groan when Trowa walked into the room. She just couldn't win this month, she thought in a moment of self pity. This was one of her bad days so of course he would have to come visit. Miserably running a hand through her now very short hair she mourned the loss of the rest of it. Apparently her hair had caught on fire and that, along with it being the practical thing to do, had resulted in her waking up to hair as short as when she'd tried to take over the world. She hated her hair short, she looked like she should still be in middle school. That had been why she'd grown her hair out in the first place.

"Still not used to the length?" Trowa asked as he took the seat beside her bed. Her room was full of flowers and he saw several cards and drawings from her students at the day care as well as those made by his various god children.

"It takes some getting used to."


"Did your mother tell you I was stopping by today?" Studying the new hairstyle he thought to himself that short hair suited her bone structure. He'd heard her yelling the first time she'd noticed her hair had been chopped off while she was in the coma and so he already knew to keep his opinion on her hair to himself. She looked like a fairy or an elf now, he thought to himself, not that he'd ever saw it out loud.

"No, but she's been busy. What's up?" She could only hope it had something to do with getting out of here. She was going stir crazy and was ready to kick up a fuss soon if they didn't let her out of here pronto.

"You need to disappear the way Milliardo did, Maia. It's not safe to be you until we go looking for the people who are after you two. I'm not going to lie to you, so far we're getting no where. That's why it's so important to get you out of here as soon as possible."

"Well that's a definite bummer." Maia agreed, pleased when he gave her the faintest of smiles in return. For Trowa, that was akin to a huge, beaming smile. "So where am I going and who with? When am I going for that matter because I really can't wait much longer for a change of scenery. They have a nurse here that scares me. She's too damn perky."

"I don't know where you and I will be going yet. It would probably be best if we leave this continent at the very least and then travel until we find someplace to stay for a while."

At first all Maia could process was his first sentence. You and I? As in she was going off undercover and Trowa was going to go with her? Just the two of them? By themselves? Alone? Going dizzy at the thought Maia didn't know whether to do a celebration dance or break down crying. "So..you're going to be my bodyguard..until these people are caught?"

"Yes." There was such an interesting array of emotions rushing across her face, Trowa thought with a touch of interest. What was going on in that brilliant mind of hers? Obviously a hell of a lot.


Her mother had told her it could be a very long time before these people were caught. Okay so it was small, stupid and selfish of her but all Maia could think about was the fact that Trowa was going to be stuck with her, twenty four seven for possibly months. Just the two of them. FOR MONTHS. They'd be undercover too so that meant..this could mean... "So are we going undercover as a couple?" Oh please, please God say it was so.

Blinking Trowa raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think that anyone would believe that?"

Ouch. Now that hurt. But as Trowa always said, if you wanted something badly enough you had to keep trying until you got it. Maia wanted Trowa in the worst possible way and finally, just possibly, she had a chance to get him. She'd just have to make him see things her way. Easier said then done, she admitted silently, taking a deep breath as she carefully tried to talk him into this. If they were playing a couple she'd have an excuse to get her hands on him. Just the motivation she needed. "I think we could. I know that with this haircut I look even younger than I am but you have one of those timeless faces. People usually think you're older than you are because of your eyes. I think going as a couple would be the best way because no one would mistaken us as siblings and I'm obviously not young enough to be your daughter. I suppose we could go as friends but two friends of the opposite sex, of obvious different generations traveling together is going to attract more attention than say a married or engaged couple."

"The difference in age is going to be a problem either way." Trowa pointed out, even if she did have a point about it generally being better to play at being a couple then just friends. For most people anyway. He wasn't the other half of a couple type.

"Yeah but I know you well enough to pull it off. You don't even know how old you are but if you're about the guys' ages then you're probably only around eight years older than me. That's not a lot. I mean in Victorian times girls ended up married to men old enough to be their grandfathers! Sure people might notice that we look like there's a generation gap but once they see how well you and I fit they'll shrug it off." She'd given this argument a lot of thought, on the very slim possibility that she'd ever need to argue her case for dating him. This wasn't quite the situation she'd planned this for though.

"How well we fit?" Trowa repeated, surprise actually coming into his eyes for a moment. Even physically that was laughable, much less personality wise. Sure, there were a lot of women out there who'd suit him even less but if he ever bothered to try and think about what sort of woman he'd be interested in he couldn't see someone like Maia coming to mind.


Opps, bad choice in words, Maia thought, seeing the look in his eyes. Think fast, girl or you're going to lose this and end up having to treat him like a brother for the next couple of months. In other words the way she normally pretended to. "What I mean is that we know each other. We've known each other for forever and I think we could pull the couple thing off. I mean you're obviously not a touchy feelie guy but you wouldn't flinch if I got close because I've hugged you and stuff before. I'm used to your presence and we've always worked well together on stuff. People aren't going to be surprised to see us not making out in public but they will notice that you're comfortable around me. To most people you give off a don't touch me vibe but you don't do that to me. That alone would suggest we're close." Okay, she was starting to babble. Time to backtrack and get to her main point. "And if we were a couple that would explain you being around me all the time. If you were just a friend or a relative it would be major creepy and people would wonder. I know it will be weird for both of us to pretend we're a couple who love each other and stuff but I really think we could pull it off. We care about each other already and no one would expect a guy like you to wear his heart on his sleeve." And I can easily show my heart on a sleeve because I've loved you since I was twelve, Maia added mentally.

Well no one could claim she was all looks and no brains, Trowa thought, approving of her logic even if he wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea. She did have some good points though. With her banged up as it was they were bound to draw attention, the last thing he needed was someone assuming he was some woman beating control freak. If they presented themselves as a couple he would have an excuse to hover because everyone would assume it was simply loving concern for his wife. He'd noticed Duo and Wufei had both gotten a lot more soft since they'd married, like being one of a pair meant you had to get more in touch with your emotions. One of the reasons why he was never going for it himself. "I'll think about it." Trowa finally said.


"That's all I ask." Knowing better than to push her luck Maia smiled at him instead. "So any word on how Milliardo is doing, wherever he is?"

"No, we won't hear from him until the end of this month. It's safer that way. We'll be doing the same when we leave here. We know the people we're dealing with likely have the means to purchase the latest in search and find technology. As it is even once a month could be dangerous."

"Is it really true that he's with Heero's older sister? Did you get a chance to meet her before she left here with him?"

"Well she's not his biological sister and he doesn't refer to her as his sister though she calls him her little brother. She rather reminded me of Milliardo actually. Bets are being laid that they'll either get along really well or hate each other."

"Oh I'm sure everything will be fine. I mean in all the time I've known Milliardo I don't think I've ever seen him really lose his temper, much less at a woman. He's too much of a gentleman. I'm sure they're having a better time then I am anyway."


Milliardo Peacecraft considered himself a reasonable man. He knew he wasn't perfect, far from it in fact. He didn't expect to be catered to because of his wealth and position and didn't believe that because of those things he was any better then any other living person. He'd made two major discoveries that month, one that he'd been cooped up behind a desk too long and the other that Satan really did exist. Everyone had it wrong though, assuming that Satan had to be a man. No, Satan was a woman and she walked among men with raven black hair flying and a swagger to her stride that invited all hetero men to turn and watch that incredibly fine rear end. Her name was Alexis and Milliardo hated her like he'd never hated anyone else in his life. More than Heero, the people that had killed his parents and paperwork combine. She was the most aggravating, opinionated woman he'd ever met and he worked in politics so that was saying something. Oh she acted all sweet, smiling at you while she slowly tore verbal strips off you than poured alcohol on the wounds just to add insult to the injury. Of course she was Heero's sister, Milliardo thought bitterly as he stared at the window, watching the rain come pouring down. He couldn't wait until the end of the month when he'd be allowed to contact Preventers. The first thing he'd do was order Lady Une to send someone up here to get him. He'd tried to escape the witch once and what had she done, she'd shot him in the ass with a tranquilizer dart. It didn't even matter that she hated him as much as he hated her. Apparently her word meant a lot to her and she'd given her word to Lady Une to baby-sit him until the bad guys were caught. It stuck in his craw that he hadn't even heard her coming. One minute he'd been heading down the hill and the next he'd been rolling down it because he'd gotten that damn dart. When he'd woken up she'd even had the audacity to say she'd aimed there because it was too big to miss! Oh but he hated her, Milliardo fumed, glaring out onto the lawn. If looks could kill the whole damn country would have been scorched by now.

"Pouting as usual I see."


Dammit, she'd snuck up on him again. Turning his head he looked to see her standing in the doorway, watching him with those emotionless green eyes. She was even worse than Trowa for Christ sakes. "What do you want?" He'd already reached the point where he didn't bother with manners when it came to her. He didn't care if his mother spun in her grave, he was not going to treat the cretin like the human being she pretended to be.

"Obviously the preppy schools didn't teach classes in proper manners. Either that or you just weren't smart enough to absorb any of it." Walking in with the swagger he hated so much Alexis took a seat on the couch, crossing her legs in front of her. She was dressed in her usual jeans and T-shirt, both tight so that she could distract the other men on this damn ranch so that they wouldn't notice they'd become the minions of Satan.

"At least I show signs of having attended some sort of educational institution." Milliardo replied, holding that icy gaze of hers. They wouldn't call him Ice at Preventers if Alexis had worked there. No, in comparison his were as warm as a summer day.

"Have I told you today how girlie you look with your hair that long?"

"Since you make it a point to say something along those lines every single day I don't think missing a day would be a major loss." Grinching his teeth Milliardo calmed himself by envisioning going into her room late one night and chopping all her hair off. She'd probably kill him, but compared to having to live with her death didn't seem so bad.


"Well I guess you have some reason for keeping it so long. Personally I have two theories on the matter." Alexis practically purred though her eyes remained the color of winter grass. "Would you like to hear them?"

"Not particularly." He replied, waiting for her to tell him her theories which would no doubt make him hate her more, if that were humanly possible. Every time he believed he couldn't hate her anymore she found some way to prove him wrong after all. Sitting back he waited for the insults that never came. Five minutes of silence later Milliardo couldn't take it anymore. "Well? Aren't you going to tell me?"

"You said you didn't want to hear them."

"That's never stopped you before."

"Are you saying you want to hear them?" Alexis asked innocently, watching her prey carefully. Oh but she hadn't had this much fun in years. Making life hell for Milliardo Peacecraft was becoming more enjoyable by the day and if this kept up she could see it even surpassing sex. If that was the case maybe she'd have to keep him and torment him for the rest of his days. A slow grin crossing her face she watched his eyes lower to watch then come back to meet hers wearily. The pretty boy was learning, Alexis thought, somewhat proud that her foolish little toy had finally clued in that nothing could be gained by trying to read her eyes. Her eyes never revealed anything she didn't want seen. She'd expected more from the prince but wasn't entirely disappointed with him. He did surprise her on occasion and she'd always been a sucker for a good surprise. Now he was struggling between the choice of satisfying his curiosity or refusing in the hopes that it would irritate her. The thing he had yet to grasp was that she didn't overly care which he chose. It was the playing with his head she enjoyed.


"No." Milliardo said finally, crossing his arms in front of him, his eyes practically daring her to say her stupid theories anyway.

"Fine then." Shrugging casually Alexis kept up the eye contact, another one of their little staring contest ensuing. This at least was interesting because they were pretty much even in this area. Apparently spending such a large chunk of his life in a cockpit had given his eyes such a boost that even her sharp shooter eyes were occasionally forced to look away before his did. Icy blue meshing with hard emerald green as they both leaned slightly forward. Anyone walking through the room would have said they looked entranced with each other, that person of course would be labeled a stupid idiot by the both of them.

When she was the first to look away Milliardo allowed himself a brief smile of victory as the faintest of twitches below her left eye hinted at annoyance. He'd won the last three of these little staring contests and he knew she hated to lose at anything. He was almost tempted to rub it in but knew that to do so would just result in her doing something that would make him contemplate suicide to finally be free of her. Then again she ruled hell too so getting away from her really was impossible, Milliardo thought darkly. When you got right down to it..there was just no escaping her. Which of course explained why Heero had lived so long. When your sister was Satan special privileges were only to be expected.