A/N: Here's the fourth chapter of sheer mental-ness!

I own nothing besides Kita, Yumi, Okami and Keiko.

"Um, L, I ran into a little trouble on the subway here, and well, this is Kita and this is Yumi," Matsuda introduced the two sheepishly once they got to the Task Force Headquarters and past the security.

L glared long and hard at Matsuda, until turning his attention to the brunette girl dressed like a cross between a normal fourteen-year-old girl, a ninja, a vampire, and a Siberian White Tiger Mew-Mew, meaning the she was wearing a traditional Japanese shirt, dark jeans, black Vans, she had fangs, and she had white stripped cat ears on the sides of her head. He glanced over at the blonde girl who was about her age, and dressed similarly. The brunette girl, whom Matsuda just called Yumi, was staring at him with an intensity that rivaled his own stare, and he watched her until suddenly, out of nowhere, she glomped him.

"L~!" she clung to him, huggleing him as tightly as she possibly could. "I LOVE YOU!"

L was taken aback, the past five second span involving him being almost painfully huggled by a girl who he'd just met 8.349 seconds ago now playing back through his mind. Yumi looked up for a split second as she heard Kita's shrill squeal fill the air the same way hers had moments before. She knew immediately that Kita had found a Near to huggle. She could also tell that Kita had glomped him due to his strangled gasp for air.

"So why are you hugging me?" L asked Yumi curiously.

"Because you're amazing and I love you and I'm going to kidnap you if you're not careful. You and Matt."

"Um…" L was at a loss for words.

"Don't worry! I'll never hurt you." Yumi continued to hug the bewildered detective.

L was getting used to her, and let Yumi continued huggleing him until she finally stopped.

Kita was huggleing a puzzled albino detective with all her might. Said detective was struggling to breathe, but Kita kept hugging. Finally, Near let out a strangled "Who are you?"

"My name's Kita!"

"Why are you hugging me to death?"

"Because I love you!"

"Do I even know you?!"

"Nope!" Kita said, grinning.

Near gave up trying to get away because he knew that he couldn't manage to.

Suddenly, Matt walked into the room, and Yumi immediately latched onto the gamer with a shrill, "Matt!"

Matt looked down, perplexed as to why and who the girl hugging him was. He looked at L and mouthed "Who is this?". L just shrugged and mouthed "Yumi".

"Uh, Yumi? Why are you hugging me?"

"Because I love you!"

Matt hugged her back and gently pried her off. "Do I know you?"

"No, but you will soon enough." Yumi glomped him again. "I want to see the Camaro."

Matt pulled her off once more, and she adhered herself to L again.

"So, what brings you here, Matt-kun?" L asked the brunette boy.

"Oh, I just came back from my funeral for my DS. I have to go and get a new one," Matt answered.

"What happened?" L asked sympathetically.

"Mello," Matt answered simply. "He was throwing things around, yelling something about finding a script for chocolate. Yeah, I don't know."

"Oh, hello, Light," L glared slightly as he greeted at the insane mass-murderer. The glower was something you would only catch if, like Yumi, you were so close that you were touching your nose to the detective's while he was talking.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," Light returned. He looked at an ecstatic-looking Kita, an over-enthusiastic Yumi, the mildly-creeped-out panda-detective who was locked in a staring contest with Yumi, the half-strangled Near sitting on the floor while Kita hugged him, and the weird person who put so many hyphens in the last sentence. "Who are these two?"

"This is Kita," Near said, somehow managing to keep a monotone voice. "And this is Yumi," L pointed to the girl who was now sitting in L's crouch on the floor next to him.

"Oh, yeah, Light, we have a present for you," Yumi said.

"What is it?" Light asked expectantly.

Yumi threw a glance to Kita, who quickly picked up on it, an evil glint in their eyes. Kita quickly whipped out a package. It was wrapped in pink paper with frogs on it, and the box was riddled with air-holes. She handed it to Light, her and Yumi barely holding in their laughter.

"Why is it full of holes?" Light asked, cautiously.

"So that it doesn't die," Yumi said, matter-of-factly.

"Okay then," Light said, opening the present. "Oh my Kira, it's a hamster! Look, it's so cute, and loveable and adorab- Gah! It bit me!! It freaking bit me!!!!! Oh, Kira, GET IT OFF!" Light screamed and flailed the arm that had a hamster stuck to it.

"Meet Hikari," Kita and Yumi said at once. "The Demon Hamster from Heck!"

"Why did you two give me a freaking demented hamster?!?!" Light continued to scream as he tried to pry the rodent off of his finger. L was mentally laughing his butt off, and Yumi and Kita were high-fiving each other discreetly. Once Light succeeded, he threw Hikari at Kita and Yumi, who caught the hamster. Hikari sat happily in their hands, and Light looked confused.

"Why isn't it biting you?!" he asked.

"Because Hikari loves us, and Hikari's a girl, not an it," Kita said.

Light mentally face-palmed, and L was now laughing audibly, and Light attempted to punch him. L ducked and kicked Light in the face, much the same way the Chibis were fighting before.

Light held his injured head, and looked down at Hikari, who was glaring at him, and showing her teeth.

"I hate those hamster things," Light said. "They're like little vampires with those fangs, except they don't sparkle!"

"Would you be more scared of them if they did sparkle?" L asked through his thumb.

"Of course. I don't even want to imagine! They'd be real vampires then!"

Light held his face in his hands, and L took the moment to dump a bottle of glitter over Hikari's head. When Light looked back at the hamster, he screamed.

"Holy, Hikari is a vampire!!! I told you! Run before it kills us all!!!"

"Light," L deadpanned. "You're percentage of being Kira has dropped by 67% for being mortally afraid of a glitter-covered rodent, and there's an 89% chance that you've been reading way too much Twilight."

Light stuck his tongue out at L, L face-palmed, and Kita threw another meaningful glance at Yumi.

"Here, Light," Yumi said, pulling out another gift box. "This one's your real present."

"No way, I don't want that thing," Light backed away from the box that was imminently full of doom.

"This one's not a trick," Kita said, crossing her fingers behind her back. "Promise."

"Fine," Light said, snatching it and tearing the paper off slowly and guardedly. He opened the box to reveal… a cell phone. "Oh, thanks," Light said sincerely, surprised. He flipped open the phone and glanced at the screen. "Hey, what do these numbers mea- oh, crap." Light's face fell and suddenly the numbers that had been counting down reached zero and the phone, and Light, exploded. Then a Spanish Carebear ran up and stole his wallet. Little did Light know though, Mu, or Nothingness, was currently undergoing construction, so his soul was sent to La La Land, a magical place where he would be tortured for all eternity by the mind of an extremely immature fourteen-year-old fangirl, the rest of the Spanish Carebears, and also the Pancake Mafia.

In La La Land, Light was face-first on the ground, being poked by another Spanish Carebear.

Back With L, Near, Kita and Yumi:

Yumi walked over to the other Task Force members who had been watching in terror the entire time. She stopped in front of Aizawa. Hesitantly, she poked his afro, and then began screaming. "Oh my Kira, it's devouring my finger!!!" She yanked her hand out of his hair. "Keep that thing on a leash," she huffed. Aizawa just stared at her, disturbed.

Kita went over to Sochiro. "Hey, Mr. Light's Dad, you know that you have a caterpillar on your lip, right?"

"This is a moustache," he answered. "Not a caterpillar."

"Impossible! This," she tugged, "isn't coming off. You need to take better care of that caterpillar. It has feelings, too, you know."

"Okay," Sochiro figured that the safest thing to do was just agree with her.

Yumi had gotten bored with the others, and went back to L. Kita joined her.

"L, You're going to came cosplaying with us!" Yumi said, tugging on L's arm.

"Wait, what?" L asked.

"You are going to come cosplaying with us!" Kita repeated what Yumi said. "You too, Near!"

"WHEN THE HECK DID WE DECIDE ON THAT?" Near shouted, loosing his usual demeanor.

"I just said so, and so that means that you're coming!" Kita said, yanking on his arm.

"No, I'm not," Near said.

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Fine!" Kita shouted in defeat. "You don't have to come."

Near was surprised that she had given up. "Really?"

"Nope! You're coming with us whether you like it or not!" Kita grabbed L's handcuffs and strapped Near's hands together. Near started trying to pick the lock with one of his toy darts, but dropped it and failed miserably.

"You'll never get away!" Kita laughed evilly, snatching the Lego that he was now bashing into the lock.

"L, help me!" Near cried.

L looked at him and shrugged. "I'm busy," he motioned to Yumi, who was sitting on his lap again.

Suddenly, Kita and Yumi were both holding a huge stereo, and L was staring at the spot on the floor that Yumi was sitting at and, vanished from, rethinking all logic that he thought he had known. They dropped the stereo on the floor, and pressed 'play'.

The techno beat of Caramelldansen blared out of the four large speakers that had recently sprouted out of the ceiling.

Yumi and Kita began dancing, and Kita called for L and Matsuda. "Come dance with us!" She and Yumi continued to dance and sing along to the Swedish/Japanese otaku techno song.

Matsuda and L joined in, and Near stared at them all like he had never seen anything funnier in his life.

"Matt!" Mello screamed at the gamer who was playing a Wii that wasn't there a second ago.

"What?" Matt asked without looking up at the blonde.

"Stop playing Final Fantasy at three a.m.!"

Matt looked up at him. "What the heck are you talking about?" he gave him a confused look. "Since when is it three a.m.?"

"Since I said so," Mello clapped his hands, and the sun went down completely, leaving the world outside in darkness, and leaving random bystanders wondering just where the sun went.

"Hey, only I can do that!" Kita clapped her hands, and the sun returned, and the clocks now read three p.m. again.

Mello clapped and made it three a.m. once more, and Matsuda cried out, "Let's have a slumber party!"

Everyone in the room stared at Matsuda.

"For once, Matsuda, you have a good idea," L said.

"Yay! Sleepover!" Kita said excitedly. She was suddenly holding a bottle.

"We're going to play Spin the Bottle?" Near asked.

"What? This is a pipe bomb, but sure, we can play." She spun the bottle and stopped it on Near purposely. She kissed him, and he sat with his eye twitching.

Gaara appeared.

"What are you doing here?!" Yumi asked in shock.

"Who's this?" everyone else asked.

"This is Gaara," Kita said.

"You're just in time to play!" Matsuda said, too dense to sense the impending danger of having a sleep-deprived, irritable sand demon in the room.

"Sure…" Gaara said sarcastically. "Like I would want to play."

"I knew you would!" Matsuda exclaimed.

"Gaara, you can come cosplaying with us, too!" Kita said.

"We are not going cosplaying," Near said again.

"Yes, we are," Yumi said.

"If I do, will you two shut up?" Near asked.

"Yep," Yumi answered.

"Sure," Kita added.

"Probably."

"Maybe not."

"Um, no."

"Yeah, no," Yumi and Kita grinned, Near groaned in defeat, and L took to eating sugar cubes and thinking about nothing in particular.

Yumi and Kita suddenly had their overnight bags, and Near huddled in a corner behind a potted plant.

"On with the sleepover!" Kita dragged Near out from behind the plant against his will.

"So, how exactly do you play Spin the Bottle?"

Kita glanced at each other in horror.

Near tried to warn him. "L, I don't think that you really want to-"

Yumi spun quickly, it landed on L, and she kissed. L sat, shell-shocked, staring at her, eyes even wider than usual.

"Why do you look like that?" Kita asked the detective as she currently clung to Gaara.

"…."

"Well…?"

"…."

"Fine," Kita said sarcastically. "Don't answer me."

"Is that how you play the game?" L finally asked.

"Yes," Yumi said.

"Count me out," L said. Near nodded in agreement.

"Why~?" Kita whined.

"Because," L stated flatly.

"That's it?!" Kita asked, offended.

"Yes, that's it."

"Yumi, get the outfits!" Kita said, and for some reason, everyone in the room felt the atmosphere change for the worse.

"You mean the Lolita dresses?" Yumi asked. Kita nodded. Near and L gulped.

"Okay~!" Yumi sung, and she brought out the outfits.

Kita shoved Near to the ground and tried to get the dress on him to no avail while he struggled to get away. L was contemplating jumping out of the window, but settled on just running out of the room away from Kita and her vengeful streak.

"You're just lucky that I'm not solving things like Beyond," Kita said.

"Yeah," Yumi added. "You're lucky you've never seen her solve things like that. There was blood… and the knife… and the foot in the bathtub… it was fairly horrifying."

"It was the whole leg," Kita corrected.

L came back into the room. "Is it over?" he asked cautiously.

"L!" Kita jumped at him. He ducked to the side, and Yumi caught Kita.

"Kita, don't just jump at people like that," Yumi scolded. "You could give them a seizure. Or was it asthma? Diabetes? Extreme confusion? Amnesia? Oh well. Who are you?"

"Sorry," Kita said.

Suddenly, it was the morning again, and again the normal people who were living regular lives were wondering just what the heck happened to the sunlight for the second time in the span of four hours.

"So are you all always this crazy?" Gaara questioned innocently.

"Yes," Yumi answered bluntly.

"Why, are you?" Kita asked Gaara.

"Sure…."

"To Paris Australia!" Yumi cheered and suddenly held another crate.

"Oh, God."

Gaara tried to run, but Kita caught him.

A/N: Little bit of a cliff hanger ^^ Please reviewif you like it or if you think that I'm wasting my time posting this XD . But no flames. Flamers get hit over the head courtesy of this fire extinguisher! Thanks for reading!