December the Fourth:
Obsessions
It was obvious that the winter had taken the orphanage by storm – and that Christmas was on its march. Heavy snow decorated the grounds, some of the younger children had made several snowmans (And a pair of creatures too) scattered all over the field, and Christmas decorations had been brought down from the attic and spread across the orphanage. Mello had been one of the first to escape out of the warming shelter that was the orphanage, and one of the first to engage in a quite violent and drawn-out snowballfight. However, he had been one of the last to come back inside, both wet and cold right down into his bones. His breath quivered, as much as his frozen limbs, but a tired yet satisfied smile adorned his face.
Roger was too worn-out to scold him as he messed up the carpet in the hall, as well as making obvious wet tracks up to his room. The blonde threw himself heavily on his bed, and bounced slightly of the rebound of the mattress, Matt only glanced up at his friend.
"You should come with me next time" Mello said, and sighed happily. " It's really fun you know. And productive, if we compare it to sitting inside with your stupid games"
Matt sighed – Mello really disliked his habits of gaming. But the redhead suspected that it was only because of that it distracted Matt from himself, and that he was actually better than his blonde friend at something. Mello didn't like to be reminded that he was second.
"Yeah. Because running around in circles, throwing snow at each other, seems to be very productive" He retorted and pulled his cover closer around his body.
Mello didn't react to these words, he just sat up slowly, started to pull off his drenched socks. "I'm going to take a shower" He informed and pulled of the damp shirt as well. "Can you go down to the kitchen and snatch some chocolate for me in the meantime?" He asked, merely glancing over at his friend, who in return tried not to stare at Mello's body. Mello judged Matt's silence as a 'yes' and walked into the bathroom, close the door around him.
The redhead sighed, but knew that he had no other choice to do as the other had begged him to. He exited the room with heavy steps.
The blonde threw away the last of the garments that covered his slender body, and put the water on. He stepped into the hot stream, and let the warm water caress his muscles and warming his freezing flesh. He exhaled slowly and moved his frozen fingers under the stream, massaging in the water into his hair until it was completely drenched.
He felt the warmth spreading in his body, slowly massaging the coldness away from his tired limbs. The hot water nearly scolded his sensitive and thin skin, causing it to redden. Once again he let out a small sigh, and exited the shower. He drought his body carefully, and moved to put his clothes up to dry. When he entered the room again, this time in a thick sweater and even thicker woolen socks, he saw how Matt entered through the door a chocolate bar in his hand. He shuffled closer and grasped the chocolate before yanking it out of Matt's hand. The redhead sat down in his bed again, folded the covers around him and took out his game.
"You could at least pretend that you're thankful" He muttered, with a small smirk on his lips that he tried to hide from his best friend.
"Shut up and be happy that you're allowed to sleep in the same room as me" Mello uttered, his words harsh but his tone light and jokily. He sat down on the chair which belonged to the desk, and spun it around slowly as he put the chocolate to his lips.
Matt let his eyes roll in their sockets and concentrated on his game, instead of composing a retort.
While eating his chocolate bar Mello started rummaging around the desk. The dry surfaces of the papers brushed his fingertips, the sensation was weird. He didn't know exactly why he was rummaging around the mess, but somehow it felt like he was supposed to do it. Like he had forgotten something – But Mello never forgot anything. That was what he kept telling himself. A paper escaped his fingers and floated through the air and touched the floor with an inaudible thump. Mello's blond hair reached down as he leaned forwards to catch it, the ends curling slightly. His fingers grasped the paper and brought it up into his eyesight. A frown appeared on his face, and as his eyes skated from the one side of the paper to the other, it slowly transformed into a look of horror.
"Matt!" The voice was harsh, and Matt's head snapped up.
"What?" He mumbled.
"We have a test tomorrow! Why haven't you told me?" Mello's voice was blaming and he stared at Matt, as if Matt had done something very bad. Extremely bad. Matt wondered why Mello never thought before he spoke – He knew that Matt never studied, not for tests. Not ever.
"You know I don't study" Matt mumbled, as humbly as he could, knowingly of Mello's unstable mind when he was stressed (As he obviously was, or was going to become in the nearest future).
Mello didn't have a retort to this, since it was true. So he only hissed through his teeth and went to hatch the book he required for his studies. Curling up in the chair again when he had the thick book in his hands, he put his hair into a short ponytail. He immediately started reading the pages that were assigned, and his frown deepened with each word. He could literally feel his heart increasing its rhythm, it felt like his stomach was turning inside him, restlessly coiling and uncoiling. A drop of sweat emerged on his forehead, even though he wasn't hot in his warm clothes. He felt cold, but could steadily feel his skin becoming damper by the minute. He realized he wasn't paying attention to what he was reading – And he read the paragraph again, and again. And just one more time.
It burned. His eyes burned and with each breath it felt like the air was scratching at his throat. Once again his stomach coiled, and he heard how he involuntary inhaled sharply – Almost like a sob.
Matt's head snapped, and with worried knowing eyes he observed his friend. He wanted to go up to him and hug him, but knew that Mello would throw him away. Mello always wanted to be alone when he was hurt, something that bothered Matt.
The blonde curled in the chair, brought his knees closer to his chest. For a moment he let his head rest upon his knees, and breathed slowly, tried to will the tears away. He could do this he could manage the test. It would turn out just fine. He tried to tell himself, but another part of his mind reminded him that this wouldn't do it. That he would never become the successor of L if he kept going in this slow pace. Near would always beat him, it told him, Near would always be the superior of the two.
He threw the book violently against the floor, and it sounded so loudly that Matt flinched. Mello was on his shaking legs, moving determined against the bathroom. He was shaking, and as Matt arose from his bed he heard the sounds of gagging from the bathroom. As he entered he saw Mello hunched over the toilet, his face drenched in cold sweat and the corner of his eyes wet with frustrated tears.
The redhead bent down beside him, pulled some strands of hair back from Mello's sleek face.
The tears wanted to well out, but Mello held them in as well as he could. His stomach wrenched, and he leaned over the toilet again to empty his stomach into it. But all that came up was stomach-fluid, and saliva. "Why.. why am I so weak?" He breathed out , and rested his chin against the ring of the toilet and exhaled shakily.
"You're not." Matt mumbled. "You're the strongest person I know." Mello glanced over at him, and Matt only smiled a humble honest smile.
Mello throw himself into the other's arm. He started to sob violently, and his hands clutched the other's shirt, as his tears drenched it. His whole body quivered with frustration and desperation to succeed. Matt knew what was happening, Mello's breakdowns happened once in a while. Mello couldn't take the pressure, no one would be able to and no one with as much spirit at Mello had. Mello wanted to do good so much; his burning passion put a lot of pressure on himself. He didn't merely want to succeed, he had to. He needed it. Matt caressed his back with his palm slowly, as Mello let himself cry harshly.
They sat there for minutes, Mello's breathing slowly easing back to normal and his sobs dried out. Mello sat up, drying his eyes on the arms of his sweater. "Thanks" He mouthed, his voice small and his throat sore. Matt only shook his head.
"So-" Mello breathed and arose from the floor, his legs still shakily. "Back to the studies."
-Authors Note-
Crappy chapter is crappy chapter. But, yeah. If I have promised all of you to post one chapter each day, I better post one chapter each day.
