They went to bed. Getting undressed should have been awkward – but letting go of each other for even a second was too much for them to bear. So they smiled at each other and took turns taking off their shirts, realising they needed both hands for that.

Enjolras went first. Grantaire just stood to one side, hand very lightly in contact with the front of his leg. For Grantaire, Enjolras stood behind him and slipped his hands onto the bare skin of his waist.

"You won't run off in the morning, will you?" Grantaire asked, hand on his back as he shimmied out of his trousers. Enjolras snorted.

"Seriously? Of course not. I can't let go of you, R – never mind run off and leave you."

Grantaire smiled meekly. "I'm just afraid. I've wanted it to be you since I met you."

"It is me," Enjolras whispered, arms going around him to hold him close. They were almost naked and the contact of skin on skin was – was thrilling. But they were both aching from the years of fighting to do anything except lie down and fall asleep in each other's arms.

The morning was different.

Enjolras woke first and spent the time until Grantaire woke just watching him and kissing him. He really was gorgeous – he hadn't just said that the day before because he wanted this to happen. It was because Grantaire's eyes sat either side of his nose at just the right distance from each other – they were just the right shape and shade of green and, even when they were closed in sleep, Enjolras fell in love with the curves of his eyelashes. Enjolras traced the lines of his bare body and shuddered when he found scar tissue. Grantaire had told him about them – about how many times things had gone wrong for him and how he'd almost given up. Enjolras was infinitely grateful that he hadn't given up.

Quite suddenly, Grantaire's perfect eyes snapped open. He focussed on Enjolras and saw the soft, tender smile there and echoed it.

Not saying a word but moving very slowly, Enjolras leaned in to kiss him. On the lips.

It was like he'd lit a match between them. Suddenly they were fighting for the warmth – pushing towards each other even though there was no space there. They kissed and explored each other, getting to know one another's bodies before facing the world as a pair. They kissed, they touched, they shared each other, they listened to each other's moans and learned how to make the other one smile breathlessly and ask, in a whisper, for something more. And they learned how to lie together afterwards, Grantaire's head tucked into Enjolras's shoulder where he could reach to kiss his neck.

But they couldn't stay in bed forever. Now that they were happy they wanted to share it with the world – they wanted to let everyone know. So they asked their friends if they could meet up for lunch and of course they could – everyone was desperate for details.

So they dressed each other, still afraid of losing contact. But they had to separate when they used the toilet and they made sure they practiced how to make it look like the separation wasn't burning them before going to see their friends.

They walked with their hands tight in each other's and close to their sides, realising their orientation was unusual and, for the large part, unacceptable.

Even so, they were met by loud cheers from their friends. Maybe the world couldn't accept them, but their friends already had.

"I'm so pleased for you!" Jehan squeaked, fighting through everyone else to put their arms around Grantaire's waist. "R, you look so happy!"

"I am happy," he chuckled, tightening his hold on Enjolras's hand. "I'm so happy."

Joly nudged his friend out of the way. "Grantaire, you have to tell us everything," he muttered, knocking the breath from him with the force of his hug. Grantaire just laughed.

And then Courfeyrac caught them both from behind and almost lifted them from the ground. "It only took you four years!"

They laughed and clung to each other, realising just how stupid they'd been to avoid this for so long.

Eventually, they were allowed to sit down. But this didn't mean the questions stopped.

"When?"

"Last night, after the event – "

"Had you painted each other's faces?"

Courfeyrac snorted. "They did that while we were still there."

"And you didn't think right then that you had something?" Bossuet asked, eyebrow raised. "You were touching each other!"

"Yeah, but we were both pretty covered up," Grantaire pointed out. "And you know I've told myself that it couldn't possibly be him – "

"You're a dumbass, R."

"Thanks."

"How did it happen?"

"I went to R's after helping Courf and Ferre drop everything off," Enjolras explained, arm going around Grantaire again as he spoke. "And I knew – I knew that it was him and I was fed up of pretending. So I told him everything about me and – and I asked him to help me."

Grantaire almost burst into tears again. "My arm says help him," he explained, saying it out loud for the first time in years.

"And mine – mine says believe in him," Enjolras whispered. "You might know by now that Grantaire believes in nothing – "

"Except you," he breathed, looking up at him like he was the world.

A pause.

"So, yeah," Enjolras said, clearing his throat. "What else?"

"Did you share the bed?"

"Of course," Enjolras laughed. "I can't let go of him."

"Did you fuck?"

"Bossuet!"

"I'm just asking – "

"Yes," Enjolras sighed, blushing bright red. "Yes."

Joly ahwed.

"Are you going to tell your folks?" Combeferre asked, not knowing Grantaire's situation. They shared a look.

"Probably not."

"Why?"

"Mine have sort of disowned me," Grantaire muttered.

"Oh, shit – "

"Sorry, R."

He shook his head. "It's fine. I have you and Joly to look after me, instead."

Joly snorted. "I am such a mom."

"You are, honey," Musichetta sighed. "If we ever have kids I'm being a dad."

"Yeah, you can be mom," Bossuet chuckled. "You mother the rest of us already."

"Can you imagine having a kid?" Courfeyrac muttered, looking up at Combeferre. Who, at once, looked terrified.

"Please not for another few years, sweetheart."

Courfeyrac just sighed and rolled his eyes, looking back at Enjolras. "Will you tell your family?"

He snorted and shook his head. "Not yet. Not ever if I can help it."

"Don't you see them much?" Musichetta asked, letting Joly hide under her arm. He shook his head.

"Slightly differing political views."

"Ah."

"Home isn't great," Enjolras said with a laugh. "But it's okay. Because you two aren't going to have to baby me for the rest of your lives, now," he said, looking at Combeferre and Courfeyrac. "Which is a relief, I'm sure."

Combeferre rolled his eyes. "You know we love you, stupid. And if that means sitting up with you while you finish work at three am that's fine. But I won't prevent Grantaire having that opportunity – "

Grantaire laughed and leaned right into Enjolras. "Thanks, Ferre. I don't mind, though. I have a pretty messed up sleep schedule too so maybe we'll get it sorted."

Joly expressed doubts at this but they all sat around for a few hours, laughing and sharing stories. Enjolras ended up pulling Grantaire onto his laugh, even though he protested – he was so conscious of his weight –

"Let me hold you," Enjolras breathed, too quietly for anyone else to hear. "Please, just let me hold you."

So he let him. And he soon found that, actually, this was okay. Enjolras grinned at him and cradled him, whispering into his hair and just being far more lovely than Grantaire had ever expected. This was Enjolras. Enjolras, who would glare at him over the table and growl reasons why he was long –

He felt himself sinking very suddenly. Enjolras was just being nice because he was excited. This was new and thrilling but, pretty soon, he was going to start shouting again –

"Grantaire?" He breathed in a voice softer than honey. "Grantaire, Mon Ange, look at me."

Everyone was still talking around them and Enjolras was being calm so none of them noticed the complete fear on Grantaire's face. Or the way his hands were trembling, reaching up his sleeves to scratch.

"Grantaire," Enjolras whispered, taking one of his hands. "Grantaire, I'm here."

"Why are you here?" He croaked, forgetting, for a moment, that they were surrounded by people. Enjolras kissed his temple.

"Because I love you, Grantaire. I fell in love with you years ago and I've only just worked out what to do about it."

Grantaire shook and Enjolras acted quickly, pushing his arms underneath Grantaire so he could lift him and take him from the room. He didn't have the strength to protest about being lifted – or to be surprised at the ease with which Enjolras got him from the room and into the fresh air.

Fortunately, there was a beer-garden. They sat down there and Enjolras supported Grantaire, holding him into his chest and kissing his hair until he was able to speak.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'm doubting this."

"I know you are," Enjolras whispered. "But it's okay. I'm right here. And I'm going to stay right by you until you've had enough of me – or until you believe that I love you. Whichever comes first."

Grantaire shook his head. "It's not you – "

"You just can't believe that anyone loves you?" Enjolras finished, raising an eyebrow. Grantaire found him a small smile.

"Because I could never doubt you."

"I know, Grantaire, I know. It's okay. You'll believe that I love you one day," he said with a grin. "You'll get there. Because I'm struggling too – but I just keep telling myself that I have to trust you."

"I hope this works."

"It will work," Enjolras said, taking Grantaire's hands and raising them to his lips. "Hey. It'll be fine. I'll sit with you through every panic and every angry rage – "

"There might be quite a few of those."

Enjolras laughed and kissed his hands. "I know. I expect nothing less – it's us, come on."

Grantaire smiled and sighed. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's fine."

"It just got all a bit much."

"Doesn't matter," Enjolras whispered. "We're good?"

"We're good."

"Let's get back to them before they panic."

They returned and explained that it was all a bit much – and no one minded. Of course, none of them minded – they all had their own problems and anxieties. This was just part of life for them. So they enjoyed the rest of the day and returned to Grantaire's, hand in hand and staring when they didn't think the other was looking.

They spent time getting to know each other – there never seemed to be a limit on how long they could whisper to each other for. They shared everything. They held each other when terrors hit and sometimes screamed at each other – but never for long. They'd sigh and hold their hands out for each other and spend a quiet moment just silently apologising.

They made it work. Not because they knew it would never work with anyone else, but because they wanted, more than anything, for it to work between them.

Sometimes – sometimes Grantaire would feel so bad that he would just lie in bed for days at a time. Enjolras knew then that it was down to him – he had to be the leader he always pretended to be and he had to help Grantaire. Most of the time he would just care for him – he'd lie down and cuddle him for silent hours or he'd check in with hot drinks and small offerings of food. But sometimes, when it got too much for them both, he would drag Grantaire from the house – amongst much shouting and arguing – and show him something wonderful. They'd go to a lake and watch the water or they'd go to a park and just walk. They'd talk about getting a dog or maybe a cat – and a few times they touched on the subject of adoption. It helped.

Sometimes Enjolras was the one who broke down. It was when he was too stressed or when he just had so many things to think about at once and he would lose his appetite and he would spend more time in the bathroom being sick than actually doing all the things he needed to do. Grantaire would help where he could, making sure that Enjolras didn't have to worry about things at home as well as at work. He'd have the place perfectly clean and tidy for when he got home and he'd surprise him with flowers or spontaneous back massages – or he'd actively help Enjolras write reports by processing the data for him. He'd find ways to remind him that not the whole world was broken and help him find peace in their own little paradise.


Thank you for reading this! If you thought it was half-decent feel free to let me know - if you thought it was horrendous please tell me how to improve. I've never attempted any soul mate au before so this was a tad difficult to get my head around. - Jane