It's been a long time, I hit a wall- literallly. Istrongly recommend that you listen to "Heartbeat" by Childish Gambino. I thought for my story that this fit it perfectly.

It's been a year, since I've had my solace back into my life. It's been painfully beautiful. I broke up with Angie as soon as Penelope said we could start over, as friends. Being only her friend was hard, because of her boyfriend. Even though she denies their relationship, I know he wants more and she's give without the title.

We are all at the night club he owns, when she tells me something that shifted everything.

"Handsome, why are you all alone? Where are the honeys you're always saying that follow you." Penelope says with a giggle, clearly feeling the alcohol.

I laugh and answer, "Babygirl, I gave them a night off."

"Aww you poor baby! Just my luck, I get to have this piece of chocolate all to myself." With a wide grin.

I smile, looking at how beautiful she is. She flirts with no hesitation, when it's hard for me because i mean what I say, even though I know she doesn't.

"So, where's your boyfriend?"

She rolls her eyes, "Derek, he isn't my boyfriend. He's got business stuff to take care of. He isn't even here tonight."

She grabs my hands leading me to the dance floor, we dance all night. I begin to think that things are shifting for us. That maybe she's becoming closer, opening herself to me. I take her back to her place she invites me in. It still throws me off when I walk in, to see the pictures of her new life and her decor. I readjust myself and get some water.

She goes to her bedroom, I get ready to leave, when I feel something tug me back.

"You're not leaving, are you?" I hear her say but all I can focus on is what she's wearing- a matching bra and panty, nude in color. I see that her nipples are pierce through the thin fabric. I swallow, unable to form words. She notices and speaks again, "Derek, I want you. I care about you. I want to feel you inside me. Don't you want that?"

I snap out of it, "of course, but you're in a relationship. I want all of you not some."

"We aren't exclusive. You and I don't function as a couple we tried once. But we can be friends who comfort each other sometimes." She licks her lips, as she wraps her arms around me. She lightly kisses my neck. "If you don't want this I'll stop, and we will still be friends." She lightly sucks on my neck and I know I can't say stop because I don't want her to stop. I grab her and crash into her lips with mine. She moans and I lose the little control I have. We don't sleep till 3 hours later.

3 months later

We're both breathless, I look at her, matte hair, smeared lips and still the most beautiful girl I've seen.

"Babygirl, I want more. I want a wife and kids. Don't you?"

She stares, "Then go and find that Derek. I don't want that. I do want you to be happy so if this "benefit" is messing with you. We can stop and you can find that. There's a woman out there who'd be lucky to have you. Who wants what you want. That woman isn't me though. I'm sorry, Derek."

"Baby, I don't believe that. I've seen you with Henry and Jack, you'd be an amazing mother. I love you, Penelope. I do and I know I've made some mistakes, but that's the past I want a future."

She looks down, "Derek, your friendship means a lot to me. You're my best friend and I want you to be happy. I truly do but you wouldn't be happy with me. We tried remember? You moved to a different state because of me. You even tried to move on. Derek, stop trying to fit us together when we aren't meant to be. You are right Derek I do want that life, but I... don't want it with you." She looks up and I see the hurt in her eyes, but I also see truth.