You Belong With Me

Disclaimer: Spooks and all recognizable characters belong to Kudos and the BBC, though it would have been better had they played nicer with their toys.

A/N: I know I said this would be 4 chapters, but it turns out Ruth had other plans. There will be one more chapter after this. Thank you for your reviews and to the ladies of 3 Words, 8 Letters for not kicking me out of the group for the way Chapter 3 ended. You're the best.


25 March 2005

Ruth was moving at a feverish pace to finish her work. She was leaving for her holiday on Sunday morning and tomorrow she needed to pack and take care of last minute errands. Most of her ongoing projects were at a natural stop point, and those that weren't had been passed on to other analysts to watch over while she was gone. Her summary document of all ongoing projects, weekly reports that she prepared, and instructions on other miscellaneous activities that Ruth regularly completed was finished except for one last search that was moving about as fast Harry did on his way to his annual psych evaluation.

Deciding that she had time for a cup of tea, she made her way to the kitchen and turned on the kettle. As she waited for it to heat, she thought back over the past month, since the dinner at Harry's was cut short by Abigail's appearance.

By the time Harry hobbled onto the Grid on Monday morning, Ruth's request for time off was on his desk. He hadn't called her that weekend, presumably because he was busy with Abigail, something Ruth didn't want to dwell on.

Planning her holiday had given her something to dwell on besides her feelings for Harry. She'd made reservations at a small bed and breakfast in Port Isaac that was owned by the brother of her friend Charlotte from Oxford. She made another reservation for a night in Exeter so she could visit her father's grave but beyond that she decided to wait until she arrived to determine her schedule.

Harry handed back her signed request form one afternoon as she dropped off files and reports in his office. He tried to engage her in small talk by asking where she was going, but she simply responded that she was headed to the coast for some peace and quiet before retreating from his office. As she rode the bus home on Monday evening, she played back the events of the day. To Harry, nothing had changed in their relationship; she was still his trusted analyst. For her though, she was trying to make an about face. She wanted to maintain their professional relationship but she needed to distance herself from anything personal between them for her own sanity. She knew she would never get over this stupid crush if she didn't make some changes.

It didn't take long for others on the Grid to notice something was different. Danny slid his chair over later that week and asked what had happened. When she didn't understand his question, he noted that she was avoiding being alone with Harry and she was suddenly more reserved around him. She assured Danny that Harry had done nothing wrong and that she simply felt she hadn't been as professional on the Grid as she should. Danny's look said that he didn't believe her but thankfully he didn't press her any further.


Harry noted the same change in Ruth's behavior as Danny and his mind worked over the different scenarios as to why it happened. He thought about asking her outright but he was afraid she would mumble something ridiculous and scurry from the room, leaving him no wiser and her on the defensive.

Something had changed after Abigail interrupted their dinner at his home. She swore she hadn't said anything to Ruth upon entering his house so he only had Ruth's few words over the phone to go by. Abigail tried to distract him with sex on the sofa, but Harry found he wasn't interested. He tried to play it off as the pain from his knee but it had led to a row between them that ended with her choosing to leave and Harry agreeing, asking her not to return, ever.

Surprisingly, once Abigail left Harry was relieved by the situation. He'd been ignoring that their relationship had gone downhill. They didn't fight; Harry simply found that they were spending less time together and what time they had was less enjoyable. He would be the first to say that Abigail wasn't a bad person but Harry realized that the time to end the relationship was overdue.

As for Ruth, she occupied more and more of his thoughts. He found himself watching the telly and wondering if she would find this programme interesting or that programme absolutely ridiculous. He read the newspaper and wished she was there to discuss the contents. In their professional relationship she was the one he trusted to be upfront with him and tell him when he was being unreasonable and Harry suddenly wished she was doing the same in his private life.

In the weeks leading up to her holiday, Harry noted that while she was still friendly with him, they spent almost no time alone. The few nights Ruth stayed late on the Grid when no one else was around she seemed to spend in the Registry. He'd felt the loss of her companionship and in a moment of bravery, he left his office and searched her out.

He found her in the kitchen sipping a cup of tea and knocked on the door frame so as not to startle her. She looked up and he noticed the grip on her cup tighten.

"Hi," he said, slowly moving into the room but still keeping his distance from her.

"Hello," she responded.

"All set for your holiday?"

"Just about. I'll finish packing tomorrow and then I leave on Sunday."

"I hope you have a good time. You haven't taken time off since you started so you've earned it. Hopefully the Grid can survive in your absence," he added somewhat in jest.

Ruth missed Harry's smile while concentrating on her cup. "HR is sending Sarah over from Section A, and I've been meeting with her this week to bring her up to speed. I also have a handover document that gives her the status of all ongoing investigations and projects. Between her and the junior analysts I think the Grid will be fine." She turned back to the sink to rinse out her cup. "You probably won't even know I'm gone."

Before he could stop himself, Harry let out a most undignified snort.

Ruth turned around quickly. "What was that?"

"Sorry, but the thought that we won't even know you're gone is ridiculous."

"Oh yes, who will everyone whine to about their love lives when good old dependable Ruth isn't there to listen while she finishes random translation requests that always seem to end up on her desk?" She turned back around to dry her cup before placing it in the cupboard.

"Ruth, I hope you know your contribution to this department goes far beyond random translations and being a friendly ear to your coworkers," Harry said as he took another step into the room.

Ruth sighed. "Yes, I do know. Sorry, I'm just… tired. Good thing I have the next week off." She smiled slightly and moved to leave the kitchen.

Harry took a step back to the doorway; not enough to block her exit but far enough that she would have to slow to move around him. "Can I buy you dinner before you leave? It's been a while since we've had dinner here on the Grid."

She shook her head no. "Thank you for the offer but no. I think its best we don't do that anymore," she said as she tried to sneak past him but was stopped by his hand lightly on her forearm.

"Have I done something to offend you? I don't think it's my imagination that you've been avoiding being alone with me over the past month. Am I doing something to make you uncomfortable, because I hope you know that I never want to do something like that. If you could just tell me what I've done wrong…"

Ruth's smile didn't reach her eyes. "Harry, no. You've not done anything wrong. I realized that there were moments I wasn't being professional on the Grid and I'm simply rectifying that oversight." She moved back towards her desk, hoping that Harry would accept her explanation, but not really expecting him to do so.

"Now I'm the one who's sorry because I don't have a clue as to what you're talking about. When have you been anything less than professional on the Grid? You do remember who some of your co-workers are, right? Trust me, if I was inclined to make a list of my team that has acted unprofessionally on the Grid, you wouldn't be anywhere near it."

All Ruth wanted to do was get off the Grid and away from Harry before she said something she would regret. Ignoring that he'd followed her to her desk, she logged into her computer to see that the final search was completed with no results. Noting this on the handover document, she saved it to the desktop and emailed it to Sarah and the other analysts. Powering down her machine, she gathered her handbag and other tote before putting on her coat.

"Ruth, are you really going to ignore me? Please don't make me pull rank to get you to talk to me. We're friends, or at least I thought we were and all I can think is that I've done something inappropriate to you and it's bothering me. Please talk to me." He'd moved to block her path to the pods. He'd meant what he said; he didn't want to pull rank and make her come into his office. Professionally she still treated him the same but it was their personal life, their friendship that had changed, and dragging her into his office would simply cause her to close up even more.

"Harry, I swear, you've done nothing wrong and I'm sorry if I've given you the impression that you have done so. Please, it's Friday night. I want to start my holiday and you must have plans with Abigail. Can't we just go our separate ways?" Ruth didn't try to move around him, but she hoped her voice was even enough for him to let her go.

"Abigail? I haven't seen her in over a month since we ended our relationship. The only woman I've been seeing in my free time has been Catherine since she's back in the UK once again. She's willing to put up with me and I'm not going to waste the opportunity to spend time with her."

Ruth didn't move as Harry's words sunk in. He wasn't seeing Abigail any longer? Before she could engage her mental filter, she spoke. "Why did you and Abigail end things? When did this happen?"

Hope flickered in Harry's heart but he knew he needed to move slowly. "Our relationship ended the night she interrupted our dinner, actually."

Ruth recalled the heated words she heard being exchanged as she quietly left Harry's home that evening. Assuming that she had caused the problem, Ruth began to apologize.

"Harry, I'm sorry. This is what I meant earlier about acting unprofessional. I shouldn't have stayed for dinner that night and it caused a problem for you."

"Ruth!" Harry put his hands on his hips and exhaled loudly. "Where should I start? First of all, our dinner was not unprofessional in any way. You are a member of my staff but also my friend who was helping me when I was injured. We did nothing wrong and I'll not have you apologizing for it. Secondly, Abigail and I were moving apart from one another. We weren't spending as much time together and it didn't seem to bother either of us. Yes we had a row at the end of it all, but it wasn't a messy break up."

Ruth still hadn't moved, so Harry spoke again. "Ruth, part of the reason I wasn't bothered about ending my relationship with Abigail was that someone else has been occupying my thoughts; someone who I would like to be more than friends with, if she's interested that is."

Ruth stood staring at her feet, fighting the urge to chew on her bottom lip. In her highly emotional state, she took Harry's words to mean that he'd met someone else and she suddenly needed to be off the Grid. She quickly tried to move past him, but he was standing too close and was able to reach out and grasp her upper arms.

"Please don't run away," Harry implored quietly.

"Harry, let me go. We're friends but your romantic life isn't my business."

"It is if you're the one I want to be more than friends with," Harry said, dropping his hands from her arms.

His words registered with Ruth and she looked up in surprise.

"What did you say?"

"I said I want to be more than friends with you. If you're interested that is."

Ruth didn't respond but Harry could see the confusion and disbelief clearly on her face. Since she was still standing before him and hadn't yet run away, he decided to keep going.

"Ruth, I enjoy the time we spend together. Not just here at work, but off the Grid as well and I've missed that this past month. I find myself wishing you were with me, whether I'm reading the paper or watching telly or just to share a meal. I want to talk about anything and everything with you. I'm in awe of your beauty and intelligence and hoping you'll be willing to share them with me."

Harry took a deep breath and waited to see what Ruth would do. He'd pressed his luck but she hadn't slapped him or run from the room, so he hoped those were good signs. He was debating whether to ask her if she wanted to say anything when she beat him to the punch.

"Harry, are you serious? I know April Fool's Day is coming up so if this is a joke..."

Harry moved his hands back to Ruth, placing them lightly at her elbows. "I would never joke about something like this, especially not with you. I know this isn't an easy situation, with me being your boss, and if you say no, I'll respect that. I'll make sure that our relationship remains professional and friendly on the Grid and no one will ever know about this conversation."

A small smile broke out on her face, which Harry took as a good sign, but he was still waiting for her to say something.

"Harry," she started, before pausing.

"Yes, Ruth?" He was holding his breath in anticipation.

"Is your invitation to dinner this evening still open?"

That wasn't what he was expecting her to say, but as it wasn't no, he nodded. "Of course. Do you have something in mind?"

"No. As long as we can talk somewhat privately I'm not that concerned about what we eat or where."

Her tone of voice remained neutral but her smile was bigger and to Harry she looked genuinely happy.

"Okay. Let me grab my jacket and then we can leave."

Harry quickly walked to his office, keeping an eye on Ruth the entire time. There was a tiny voice of doubt in the back of his mind saying once he was in his office she was going to run from the Grid. He didn't want to believe she would do that, but he didn't have the confidence with Ruth that he usually had with other women he wanted to date, so that voice seemed louder. He checked that his computer was logged off before grabbing his coat from the hook in the corner and walking back out to Ruth, happy that she was still there.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Absolutely," he responded.