The next morning, which was of course relative since morning and night was only a concept up in space, Clarke left her room to find some sort of human interaction. The door to Bellamy's room was open, telling her he was already wandering about. She noticed, too, that Raven and Shaw's door was open as well. Jordan's was the only one closed.
She felt the familiar feeling of her stomach growling, but she ignored it. Years on the ark and then the years on the ground taught her how to handle the hunger pains. Food was a delicacy, not a given. She decided then that she'd eat her ration around midday.
The pilot's cabin had become the sort of hang out area. They all met there and, in times of leisure, would hang out there to wait for the next gathering of people. So Clarke was hardly surprised to see Raven and Shaw in there, throwing pencils at one another.
"You two look like you're working hard," Clarke commented.
"Always am," Raven fired back.
"Sure." Clarke pushed her hair behind her ear and looked around the room. "Where's Bellamy?"
"Haven't seen him all morning," Raven answered. Raven gave Clarke an appraising look, trying to read her. But Clarke had already moved on.
"What tests are we planning to run today?" The blonde asked. "Oh and additionally, we need to come up with some sort of 24 hour clock. My biological clock is all messed up and wants normalcy."
"Once we see the other two, we'll set a time," Raven responded.
"As for tests today, I am almost done with running the report on fuel reserves. But the numbers are looking promising," Shaw reported.
"What is taking the tests so long to run?" Clarke asked.
"The gage was broken and I needed Raven's help getting it fixed," Shaw said while moving his head in a gesture to point at Raven.
"Which means that I had to postpone getting the camera on the drone a bit. I plan to finish that today, but I can't start charging the drone until the camera is attached. And that thing is going to need to charge for quite a bit," Raven remarked.
"Do we have a camera ready to go?" Clarke asked.
"Yes, I was able to salvage one off of a monitor, like the one that Monty and Harper were using to film their video diaries. It was in nearly perfect condition, so it just needs to be hooked up." Raven leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "I do have one concern though."
"What would that be?" Clarke raised her eyebrows, waiting for her to speak.
"How exactly are we going to analyze the products the drone brings to us?" Raven asked, and Clarke immediately knew the answer. And she knew that Raven knew as well. "It has an oxygen reader which will be no problem. But how do we test whether food is edible and not poisonous? I'm a mechanic, not a biological analyst or chemist."
Clarke took a moment, reading Raven's facing, knowing exactly what she was saying."My mom," Clarke said reluctantly. Raven nodded subtly.
"Can we afford to wake her?" The brunette asked.
"I don't know. She'll be recovering from the drugs. I don't know if we have the resources to manage her going through withdraw," Clarke stated.
It was then that they heard an additional set of footsteps entering the room. "But we don't have any other option," the dark haired man said. "We'll need to get her through detox."
"I think you guys are forgetting that there's limited food on this thing," Shaw mentioned.
"No, we're not," Bellamy stated and Clarke looked at him studiously for a moment.
"We're gonna need to put someone back into cryosleep," the blond said in sudden realization.
"Who?" Raven asked. "You need all of us to get on the ground."
"It's gonna have to be either you or me," Clarke said, turning to Bellamy. "They all are doing something important, we're the only ones that are expendable. They don't need two of us."
"Put me in cryo. We're waking your mom, you should be there with her," Bellamy said.
"I can't be without you again, Bellamy," She started.
"You won't be," he said. "I'll just be on the other side of the ship sleeping. It'll only be for a month or two."
"No," Clarke said. Putting her foot down. "We can do this without my mom. Raven, you know enough chemistry to tell if something will be harmful to us. You can do this. My mom is going through withdraw, it's not worth it. Bellamy is a bigger asset that her."
"Clarke," Bellamy began, but Clarke cut him off with a harsh glare.
"Am I wrong? We can do this without her. But we can't do this without you."
"I'm with Clarke on this. I can figure it out," Raven said. "Plus, either one of you without the other just means insanity. Like seriously, last time you guys were on your own, Bellamy killed an entire army and the other time, Clarke tested a deadly experiment on an innocent grounder."
"Raven," Bellamy warned.
"Sorry, I'm just stating the facts," Raven said. "Something bad always happens when you guys do things alone."
"She's not wrong, Bellamy," Clarke says. She gives him a small smile, hoping that that will be enough for him to trust her.
"Bellamy, if you won't listen to her, listen to me. I'm the one with the big brain." Clarke gave Raven an appreciative nod.
"Fine, then let's get that drone functioning and let's start running tests," Bellamy said and he once again left the room. Clarke looked at Raven for some sort of acknowledgement of his grumpy behavior, but she just looked away.
Clarke sighed. And she, too, left the room, chasing after Bellamy.
Bellamy had woken up in a grumpy mood after his conversation with Raven the night before. It got him thinking about things he couldn't bare to think about. So he pushed his feelings away, remembering where his loyalties currently were, or at least where they should be. He didn't feel like talking to anyone, at least not anyone on the ship. So when Clarke caught up with him down the hall, he was not slow to release a frustrated groan.
"Bellamy, are you okay?" She reached out and grabbed on to his shoulder, urging him to turn around and look at her. Instead, he pulled his shoulder forward, making her hand fall out of its place on his shoulder. "Bellamy?"
"I'm fine, Clarke," he gritted out through clenched teeth.
"Well you don't seem fine. What's wrong?" She insisted.
"I just didn't sleep well. That's all," he stated. "Plus I'm getting anxious. I want to get to the ground but I'm worried about all that's in store for us."
Clarke looked at him skeptically for a moment. But she sighed. "Okay. Well either way, you know I'm here for you."
He sighed to, giving her a small reassuring smile. "I know. We're in this together." His smile dropped and he turned away, returning to his room.
-100-
"What's up with you?" Raven opened his door, not bothering to knock.
Bellamy had just gotten out of the shower and was in the process of getting dressed. "Whatever happened to common courtesy?" He asked.
"Oh, you know, I just do whatever the hell I want," she mocks, bringing back memories from the drop ship days. "I've seen it all anyway. I've got to say though, you've really let yourself go. What happened to your six-pack?"
Bellamy's mouth dropped and he looked down at his stomach. "What are you talking about? This is clearly a six-pack. Scratch that. It's an eight-pack." He looked at her incredulously with a large smile on his face.
"That's a stretch." Raven walked over and took a seat on his bed while he finished pulling his shirt over his head and shoulders.
"What are you doing in here?" He leaned against the doorway into the bathroom, looking at her studiously.
"I didn't mean to upset you last night," she said.
"You didn't upset me," he insisted, but Raven raised an eyebrow at him. "You didn't."
"Bellamy," she started, but stopped, seemingly considering her next words. "You and I, we've been through a lot together. Sometimes I feel like you're the person I'm closest to. You know me better than anyone. We've been through everything together since the days of the dropship, and then the six years we spent in space, suffering the whole Murphy and Emori thing. Before you and Echo, it was just you and I. Monty and Harper were constantly banging and then Echo was hiding most of the time and Murphy and Emori were either banging or fighting. Or both. It was just you and I for a while, suffering together. Suffering because we left those we love and especially because we left Clarke behind."
Raven looked at Bellamy, but he was looking away. "I felt all of your suffering, and you felt mine. What you and I have...Finn was the closest thing to family I ever had, but we were banging, so if I called him my brother, that would be weird. So I've never had a brother, so I don't know what that's like. To love someone in that way. And I know you have a sister and you probably know that what we have doesn't even come close to comparing, but I truly do feel like you are my family. You're my brother."
Bellamy felt as his eyes started to water, so he quickly sniffled and reached up to rub his eyes, as secretly as possible. "I guess we've banged, so that's kind of weird." He heard her continue to ramble.
Before she could comprehend what was happening, Bellamy has grabbed her and thrown his arms around her, wrapping her in the words tightest hug. She could barely breathe, but she wouldn't dare complain. "When we left ground, I lost my sister. And unfortunately, I never got her back. I don't know if I ever will. But I guess, I never realized it, but I gained one in you."
Raven felt as a sob threatened her throat, and she allowed herself to release it, instead of fighting it. "Okay, let go of me, I can't handle the amount of emotions. And that's not why I came in here." She said and Bellamy slowly, and reluctantly, let go of her.
"So why'd you come in her?" He looked at his feet, because he already knew what this was about. He interlaced his fingers in his lap and picked at the dry skin around his thumb.
"You already know why," she said. "I didn't mean to upset you the other night. But I just… I know how much you suffered when we lost her six years ago. But she's alive, so you can stop suffering. But I can tell that you still are."
"What do you want me to do Raven? You know what Clarke means to me. But I have a girlfriend."
"A girlfriend you made in space, when you thought Clarke was dead," she pointed out.
"But a girlfriend, nonetheless, one I love very much," he stated.
"But are you in love with her?" Rave asked.
"I can't be having this conversation right now. My girlfriend is across this ship sleeping. If I'm going to have this conversation with anyone, it should be with her. I can't just wake her up and…"
"I know, Bellamy." Raven grabbed his hand. "Don't cheat on Echo, but also think about it more because Echo doesn't deserve to have someone pretend to love her. I've been there and that was shitty, let me tell you."
"I'm not going to hurt Echo," he insisted.
Raven nodded. "You really need to shave."
"I love this beard," he said.
"It's an awful beard." She said with a large smile on her face. "You started growing it the day we got back in space. Stopped shaving altogether. That's how I knew you were going through a depression. Must say, the beard almost made me go into a depression, too."
"Ha ha. You're so funny." He glared at her, but she couldn't miss the smile beginning to turn the corner of his mouth upward.
"I'm serious about the beard, though. Absolutely hate it."
"Your opinion hasn't stopped this thing from growing yet, don't know why it would now," he shrugged.
She reached over and punched his shoulder. "You're a butt."
"Last I remember, you thought I had a real nice butt," he said with a smirk and she punched him again.
"Okay, now that you're my brother, that's just weird." To that, he laughed. "Remember Roan?"
"Yeah, he was a douche," he insisted.
"True, But that man... now he had a stellar ass," she said with a devious smirk on her face.
"Don't you have a boyfriend, like in the other room?" He said laughing.
"Like you can judge." Bellamy shot her a glare and she raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, I'm sorry. That was too far. I'm going to go now before you beat me up."
"Good idea," Bellamy said as Raven got up and headed towards the door. "I love you, Bellamy."
"I love you, too, loser." He said with a smirk. He grabbed a pillow at threw it at the door and he heard her laugh as the door shut.
-100-
Clarke had returned to her room after working on the algae farm with Jordan. It was looking good. Their thawing process was going as they had hoped, at least for now, so they were moving onto the next section.
As she was walking past the dark haired boy's room, she could hear laughing echoing out into the hallway. Her guess was that Raven was in there. She couldn't really tell what they were saying, nor was it her business to know. So she just went into her room, silently shutting the door.
She didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it was really hard to miss Raven telling Bellamy that she loved him as she was leaving his room.
Clarke gulped. She didn't know what was going on between them, but she didn't like the pit that was forming in her stomach.
