Making Love to Hate
Mystic Falls' denizens were in the midst of their nocturnal slumber, blissfully unaware that Tartarus' Gates had been breached and that an evil, one that far predated mankind, was now freely roaming their streets. The quiet, Virginia town was to be ground zero—the gateway through which a malevolent annexation would be unleashed that would see the Earth's inhabitants changed forever. Prophecies had been written about it, warnings had been given, and visions had been seen of the oncoming devastation by a select few…and yet no one listened. No heavenly army, no satanic legion, no human regime would prevent such forecasts of desolation from being realized. The Sovereignty would see to it that victory was theirs.
Bonnie walked with her eyes half closed through the quiet, deserted street under the blanket of night. She was headed towards the gateway, the pentagram that had seen Mason and Vicki return to the living world, and one that Liv Parker had seemingly closed. There could be no annexation, no devastation, and no victory if the gateway to the Abyss could not even be opened. Bonnie was intent on finding a way to bring the rest of the Sovereignty into the living world and to begin the assault.
As she marched down the middle of the road, a snarl began to form on her lips. She began twitching at every sound of laughter. She clenched her teeth at every sensation of entertainment. She breathed in deeply at every scream, wail and cry that Lisa and Jennifer were making. She was sensing the gaiety and pleasure that Damon, Vicki and Valene were experiencing from torturing the two girls, albeit in a very abstract manner, like echoes in the wind. Even the taste of the girl's blood was becoming palpable on her tongue. Sensing the unrestrained delight that Damon and the others were enjoying while she dutifully carried on with their mission was becoming highly annoying.
Bonnie reached the town square and stopped. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep, attempting to shutter out the sensations coming from Damon and the others. She focused on the smell of the night, the sounds of the crickets chirping, coyotes distantly howling, and the loud snores from the man sleeping on a nearby bench.
She opened her eyes and turned to the direction of the incongruous sound. She was surprised to see that indeed there was a man sleeping on a bench underneath one of the town square's street lamps. She walked over to him, analyzing his clothes. He was dressed in blue jeans, a dark coat and a white t-shirt and white sneakers. Though he didn't look dishevelled, it seemed that he had dressed somewhat in a hurry. Once she reached him, she leaned over his head and gently pulled back the collar that covered his face. He was clean shaven and was did not appear scruffy in the slightest. She could even smell cologne on him. He was a young African American man in his mid-thirties if Bonnie had to guess at his age. She reached over and lightly traced his jawline with her finger as she looked over his body.
The man jostled slightly at Bonnie's touch and then turned his body upwards. The glare of the street lamp on his eyelids was strong enough that he opened his eyes, repeatedly blinking while trying to get accustomed to the glare. When his eyes came into more focus and he saw Bonnie staring at him, he startled and immediately sat up.
"Whoa! What…what," the man stammered breathlessly as he looked at Bonnie and then looking around. He swallowed hard as he tried to catch his breath.
"Hey, easy there," Bonnie gently said, reaching out and touching him on his arm while crouched in front of him. She began scrutinizing his face further, moving her head like a bird as she tilted it from left to right, her green eyes wide and curious. Judging from his chiseled jaw and smooth, coffee coloured skin tone, he seemed relatively slim if not athletic. He had what looked like a military haircut, with the sides and back shaved with very little black hair on top. Bonnie took that as proof that he wasn't homeless, or if he was, it had only recently happened. She looked at his eyes and was astonished to see that they were green like hers. It was strange that she herself had green eyes since neither her father nor mother had them. She was told that it was a family trait that perhaps skipped some generations. But the only other person of African American descent that she had ever known who had green eyes like her was Abby's adopted son.
"Jamie!" Bonnie blurted out.
"Excuse me?" the man replied, confused.
Bonnie looked at him further. She realized that he indeed looked a little like Jamie, the teenager who Abby had taken in as her own son after a failed relationship with his father. Bonnie herself had had a brief romantic dalliance with him, despite the fact that she was somewhat jealous of him for being the one that Abby chose to stay with and raise as her own son after she left Bonnie to her Grams and father. But he eventually left her as well, deciding he didn't want to be a part of her supernatural world after a rather unpleasant experience with Klaus. The man before her looked older and more rugged than Jamie, which strangely added more sex appeal to him.
"You look like Jamie," Bonnie said, almost derisively.
"Yeah, well, I'm not," the man replied, wiping his eyes, trying to shake off his recent slumber.
"So who are you?"
"What…are you a cop?" the man asked defiantly.
"Do I look like a cop?" Bonnie asked with a hint of sultriness as she put her hands on his thighs.
"Whoa! Hey, I—," the man said, his head instinctively moving back as he got a better look at Bonnie under the light of the street lamp. She didn't look right to him. He conceded that she was beautiful but looked sickly, almost dead.
"Hey, are you alright?" he asked as he continued to look over her face.
"We're fine now, Jeremiah," Bonnie said, her eyes widening while she flashed a wide grin.
The man shuffled on the bench away from Bonnie and stood up, backing away from her out of fright from both the maniacal look on her face and the fact that she had deduced his name.
"How—how did you—"
"Your name? We just know. Some things we know," Bonnie replied, standing up and tilting her head and looking at him while she continued to smile. "We like that name—Jeremiah. Sounds like Jeremy. But do tell…why are you sleeping on this bench?"
The man looked on the ground and reached for his bag that was underneath the bench. "Look, I don't know who you are but I'll just be—"
"You're not going anywhere!"
Bonnie reached out her hand towards him. He suddenly stood upright and perfectly still, like a soldier at attention. He looked down at his body and grunted, desperately struggling to move.
"What?! What the hell? —*ugh*— What—"
"Now answer my question. Why are you sleeping on this bench?"
The man continued to struggle but still could not move.
"Ansssssswer!"
"My—my family just moved here and the house wasn't ready and there was no—uh—no room at the hotel. So I let my wife and my daughter sleep there while I—"
Bonnie started laughing. Jeremiah looked at her with bewilderment and then looked around as he swore he could hear other voices laughing alongside hers.
"That was pathetic!" Bonnie replied. "You could have come up with a better lie than that!"
"What? I—"
"We know, Jer. Your lovely wife just kicked you out of the house because she found out you had been cheating on her and were going to leave her and your precious daughter. Your little side piece lives in Norfolk and you had nowhere to go on such short notice and so you ended up here. And while we applaud you spitting in the face of the so-called 'sanctity' of marriage, Bonnie can't help but feel somewhat…empathetic…to your wife and daughter's plight. In really does hurt to be cheated on. It hurts to be abandoned by a parent. It hurts to be betrayed. I will not feel this any longer!"
Sneering, Bonnie turned her outstretched hand upwards and Jeremiah suddenly fell backwards. Once he hit the ground, his body began levitating horizontally into the air.
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!"
Bonnie walked over to him and touched her index and middle fingers to his throat. Jeremiah's voice was suddenly lowered to a level barely above a whisper.
"Men should be seen and not heard."
She looked around and saw an area outside the town square that was covered in shadow, shaded by trees and shrubbery. It would be the perfect area for her to release her pent up frustrations.
"Damon's right," Bonnie said while walking with Jeremiah's body floating beside her. "We have been too preoccupied about business. We deserve some fun too! And you're going to help us. It's been much too long since the last time."
They finally arrived at the area that Bonnie had selected. She smiled as she could sense that many an adventurous and kinky couple had stolen a moment to grab a quickie in broad daylight in the presence of others, yet shielded by the bushes and trees. Only someone looking on from above would have been able to see with any clarity what any of them had been doing. She began to chuckle at the thought of how much she was about to desecrate this area that had seen so much 'love' being made.
She turned to Jeremiah and did a twirling motion with her hand. His clothes immediately ripped off of his body and flung into the air, leisurely dropping to the ground like confetti. She pulled her hand back to her side and Jeremiah's nude body dropped onto the ground. He groaned as his back and head ached from the impact.
"Sorry, my dear. I guess I like being rough with my toys," Bonnie said. She stood over Jeremiah with her hands on her hips, looking over his naked, muscular body and nodded to herself. "And I have to say, I do like my new toy!"
Bonnie began unbuttoning her pants and slid them off along with her underwear. Jeremiah looked at her with wide eyes, trying to peer through the night to see more clearly what was going on. Even though there was hardly a cloud in the sky and the moon was shining brightly, Bonnie was still covered by enough shade from the trees that he could only make out her silhouette.
She walked over and knelt down beside him on his right side. She traced her right index finger all across his torso and abdomen in random swirls and zigzags. His body responded with shivers while goosebumps started forming everywhere. Jeremiah looked up at her. He still couldn't see her features very well but he was suddenly hit with a pungent odour that he had never smelled before. He thought it might have been stale urine and began to wonder how long it had been since Bonnie had washed herself. It seemed like the odour only hit him once she took off her pants.
"Please!" he begged, trying his best to say it as loud as possible but yet hearing barely a soft whisper coming from his mouth. He began to see his breath as he talked while his body shivered from the atmosphere around him becoming colder. "Please, I don't know what you want. Take—take whatever's in my wallet! I'll—I'll go back to my wife and—"
He saw the silhouette of Bonnie's face become increasingly larger as she moved in on him. She covered his mouth with hers, slurping and ramming and probing her tongue against his and inside his mouth. Jeremiah began to cough and gag as the taste of Bonnie's mouth matched the pungency of the odour coming from her. It was as though she hadn't brushed her teeth in years, with the smell of her breath alone overwhelming him.
He tried to pull away but Bonnie grabbed his jaw and tightly squeezed it, forcing his mouth open to once again allow her to penetrate him with her tongue. He protested with muffled groans which seemed to excite Bonnie even more, causing her to increase the aggressiveness of her kisses. She took her hand from his jaw and reached down to his groin and immediately broke off her kiss when she felt flaccidity there.
Jeremiah's heartbeat increased as he felt helpless against Bonnie's molestation. She noted his rapid heartbeat and smiled at him.
"So that's where all the blood is going. Do you not find us sexy? Hmmm? Well, we can fix that. We can make sure all that blood goes to where it's supposed to go. Better than any Viagra you'll ever find!"
She lifted her right hand and waved it over his groin. Jeremiah was astonished to find himself becoming aroused. There was nothing about the situation that sexually excited him in any way and yet Bonnie somehow made it happen.
"Ooooo! You're already better than Jeremy ever was!" Bonnie murmured as she looked down at his arousal. "But we're going to need some lubricant if we're going for a joyride on THAT, now won't we?"
She bent over and began licking all over his chiselled right peck, eventually putting her mouth over his nipple. She swirled her tongue over it, flicking at it, causing it to become erect. She softly nibbled and gently tugged at it, noting that Jeremiah's heartbeat started to come down a bit. She smiled before chomping hard on the nipple, her front teeth acting as scissors, ripping into the flesh almost severing it completely. She pulled her head back, finally ripping his nipple off.
Jeremiah's gasped in pain as his mouth opened with a muted scream while tears began welling in his clenched eyes. His hands tightened as his arms struggled to move, desperately attempting to attend to the horrible wound that Bonnie had just inflicted upon him. She sucked on the bloody nub in her mouth before spitting it out. She dipped her finger in the open wound and, like a child finger painting, began coating his hardened member with his own blood.
When she was satisfied with her work, she stood up and stood over his groin. She squat down over him in a sumo-style position, holding onto his appendage while lowering herself down. She eventually impaled herself onto his manhood. She flung her head back as she let out a gasp while Jeremiah's body clenched at the penetration.
Bonnie repositioned herself so her knees were touching the ground and she was straddling him, cow-girl style. She began grinding back and forth, getting a feel for him being inside of her before she began pumping up and down. Jeremiah clenched his eyes as he felt his shaft becoming increasingly raw as the blood dried up too quickly and Bonnie provided no natural lubrication of her own.
She laughed as she could sense his discomfort.
"Like I said, Jer…we like it rough!"
She lowered her head as she increased her elevation upwards before slamming herself down again. He was long enough that the tip of him rammed against her cervix with every thrust downwards, creating incredible pain. She clenched her eyes as she let out a howl with every downward thrust. She began shaking her head from side to side and clawing at Jeremiah's chest leaving scratch marks everywhere, the nails on her left hand scratching through the open wound where his nipple used to be, causing him even more pain. She continued her rhythm for a few more strokes before she lifted her head and almost caused Jeremiah to die with fright with what he saw.
He could still only see her black silhouette against the moonlit sky as she rode him, but when she lifted her head and opened her eyes, they began to glow with a bright red and gold blaze, looking like two ominous lights in the void. Jeremiah's eyes widened with dread as he figured some kind of alien monster or demon was raping him as he lay paralyzed and helpless to stop it.
Bonnie flung her head back and leaned her entire torso back as well, balancing herself by putting her hands on his thighs. She continued to ride with her mouth open, at first howling and grunting like some crazed woman. But to Jeremiah's horror, those howls soon morphed into squeals and grunts that sounded like those coming from a pig. Then suddenly, it sounded like a chorus of swine, as though he were in the middle of a pig pen at a farm, all of them squealing at the same time.
The horrific scene continued on for what seemed like an eternity for Jeremiah when he somehow, someway, climaxed. He provided some much needed emollient of his own as he felt his appendage had been chafed horribly raw. Bonnie stopped riding and the squealing ceased. She raised her head forward and looked at Jeremiah with her glowing, demonic eyes. He instinctively closed his own eyes to avoid her glare that seemed to carry nothing but hate and anger. He opened his eyes again to see if she were still looking at him, and she was but with her left arm raised and outstretched to her side. Suddenly, a big rock flew to her hand. She handled the rock for a moment before gripping it tightly and whacking him hard across the face with it. It was with such force that it cracked his jaw and loosened a couple of molars. He almost choked on his own teeth before he was finally able to spit them out. He looked back at her in time to see her swing the rock with her right hand across his face, cracking his left cheekbone.
With her demonic eyes raging and her frothing at the mouth, Bonnie threw the rock away and leaned forward, grabbing Jeremiah by the jaw again.
"BITCH! YOU'RE OUR TOY! OUR PLAYTHING! ALL OF YOU ARE! WE SAY WHEN YOU'RE DONE, NOT YOU!"
She waved her hand over his abdomen and to Jeremiah's horror he once again found himself becoming erect again. Bonnie grinned as she restarted her assault, the sound of multiple pigs squealing returning and growing so loud in volume that Jeremiah was sure the whole of Mystic Falls was going to wake up to investigate the sound. The pain from his mouth, from his chest, from his groin while being assailed by Bonnie almost caused Jeremiah to pass out, but unfortunately he didn't. He endured the assault which continued for several minutes until Bonnie finally and mercifully ceased.
Breathless, she lifted herself off of him. He had not climaxed but it appeared that Bonnie had had her fill and was now bored. She retrieved her pants and underwear and put them on while Jeremiah caught his breath, streams of tears flowing down the side of his face as he wept from the pain wracking his entire body. His body shivered as the cold hit the sweat that covered his skin. She retrieved his clothes and threw them on top of him, covering his nakedness. However, he tried to get up to get dressed but realized he still couldn't move.
She crouched beside him, her demonic eyes softly glowing while she caressed his swollen cheek that she had cracked.
"So, my dear…was it good for you?"
Bonnie stood up and began to walk away before she paused and looked back at him over her shoulder.
"I have to admit, that was much better than Jeremy ever was."
She heard him breathing heavily and turned to look at him. His breath was still visible and his teeth were beginning to chatter.
"Oh, dear! Are you still cold? Were we not hot enough for you? Well then, we'll make it better!"
She snapped her fingers and suddenly Jeremiah's clothes caught on fire. He looked on in horror as his clothes began burning while on top of him, feeling the searing heat on his chest and abdomen. He tried his best to wiggle his body to get the clothes off but still could not move. Unexpectedly, like gasoline touching a flame, his sweat caught on fire and his entire body went up in flames. He clenched his eyes shut and gasped out a scream while he slowly burned to death.
Bonnie paused to close her eyes and relish the pain she sensed coming from her victim. Exhibiting the afterglow of a heavy sexual session, she breathed in the scent of burning flesh and smiled in satisfaction, straightening her hair and adjusting her clothes before she sauntered off into the night.
Campaign for the Soul
Bonnie felt like vomiting as she the images of torture flashed in her mind's eye. She didn't know who that man was that she was apparently raping but it didn't matter. The pain he was exhibiting, the fear he showed, the suffering he endured, and the blood he shed…all were experiences she never wished upon her worst enemy. It wounded her even more that she realized that the Sovereignty was using her body to commit those atrocities.
As before when she was torturing Caroline in the Salvatore Mansion, she couldn't help but also feel the euphoria, the joy, the orgasmic sensations from the acts of brutality she was inflicting. But as before, those perceptions were being forced upon her and were lined with such malevolence that she found some comfort in knowing that she could not and would never carry out such actions on her own. And yet, she felt guilty for not being able to stop it. After all, she did breakthrough before by pleading to Caroline for help. For that brief moment, she got control and then lost it. She felt like it was because she had wanted it. She wanted to reach out to Caroline in that moment more than anything. Therefore, she wondered why she could not stop her actions this time around.
Why indeed!
The images stopped playing and she saw nothing but darkness as she kept her eyes closed. The words seemed to come from the darkness itself and for a moment, she mistook it as her own conscious talking to her. But the words were not in her conscious' voice, and she could sense the familiar cold and merciless tone that exemplified the Sovereignty's nature. Although she knew better than to engage in a conversation with them, her mind could not help but ask the question.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
You blame ussss! You know better than that. We operate based on your desires.
"That's not true! I never wanted anything that you're showing me!"
Oh, but you do. You really do!
"I don't! I—"
You wanted to hurt him. To get revenge! Everything we've done is drawn from your deepest, darkest desires. We can draw from no other source. That man represented everything and everyone you've ever wanted to hurt for hurting you.
"Wh—what?" Bonnie asked, feeling a tinge of guilt.
Jeremy. Jamie. Your mother. Your miserable friends. That man represented all of them. And he suffered for all of them.
"I never wanted that! I never wanted them to suffer. I've forgiven them. You're making all of this—"
Forgiven them? How precious!
"It's true! I don't hold onto my anger like you do. You're so pathetic that you can't—"
Such hubris! It's impressive! But it's also false. You do hold something against them, as well you should. They abandoned you. They betrayed you. All of them! We know what that's like. That is not something to forgive or forget. Therefore, justice must be served!
"What you did to that man was not justice!"
But he did serve another purpose, didn't he? A longing that you've kept buried deep within your soul. Such an animalistic, primal urge that has not been satiated. Oh, you came close in the past, didn't you? Heh, heh, heh! But that boy, Jeremy, could not satisfy you. And Jamie never got the chance, even though you desperately wanted to give him one. That urge you concealed. We merely brought it to the surface and facilitated your indulgence of it. You're welcome!
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
You know.
She did know. As much as she hated to admit it, as shameful as she felt for even having those urges, she knew that they were speaking some degree of truth. For years, she stood by and watched as Elena and Caroline and Matt and Tyler and Jeremy all indulge in sexual freedom. And though she could judge them harshly for their choice of partner, whether it was Damon or Katherine or Anna or Vicki or Rebekah or Klaus, she had to admit that she envied them. They got to enjoy sexual bliss with minimal consequence.
Bonnie began to look back at her life and wonder why she never got to reach that level of freedom and intimacy with a guy. Although she loved Grams and was eternally grateful to her for raising her and taking care of her when Abby wasn't up to the task, she conceded that nobody was perfect. Both her father and Grams kept a tight rein on Bonnie growing up, never allowing her to indulge in romantic relationships with boys. Looking back on it, Bonnie wasn't sure as to why. She could understand her father being overly protective, as fathers usually are with their daughters. But with Grams, there appeared to be a different motive that she couldn't quite figure out. Perhaps it was because Mystic Falls was a hotbed of supernatural activity and Grams was trying to protect her. Perhaps because Grams knew that her witch powers would awaken one day and a 'normal' boyfriend would not understand nor could he be a part of her world once that happened. Perhaps it was because Grams herself had had Abby out of wedlock and was therefore distrustful of all men. Bonnie never outright asked what happened to her grandfather. She did remember that Grams hardly ever spoke of him, and when she did, it was with a minimal degree of fondness.
Regardless of the reason, Bonnie was never granted that privilege to find love during her teens. Though Grams never outright forbade her to date, she peppered comments throughout her life that taught Bonnie that romantic love was more trouble than it was worth and pursuing it did not bring about the fairy tale ending that many people believed it did. The divorce of Bonnie's parents only served to prove Grams' point. But despite that, Bonnie still had those natural urges. Try as she might to suppress them, they never went away.
She remembered her first kiss. Oddly enough, it was with Matt. They were childhood friends and although she had always had a special place in her heart for him, she also knew that he looked at her as a friend and had always had his eye on Elena. But she remembered when they both were twelve years old, and Matt had talked about going out with Elena but being worried about kissing her. He was so worried about doing it wrong because he had never kissed a girl before. Bonnie offered to be his guinea pig and they shared their first kiss with each other. And though it was barely more than a peck on the lips and they both giggled about it afterwards, she nonetheless remembered the sensation of connecting with a boy on a physically intimate level. Of course, at that age, it was innocent, but she never forgot the feeling.
That feeling was finally indulged in when she became involved with Jeremy. However, that relationship was difficult at best. It was a task in and of itself to get over the fact that he was Elena's kid brother. But once she did, she found happiness for a time, though it was far from the ideal that she had envisioned. His betrayal in kissing his former love interest, Anna, certainly dampened their romance. Also, they were constantly separated by the threat of death or death itself that the rhythm of their relationship never stabilized. Regardless, for the few bright spots that they enjoyed in their relationship, she was thankful for them and was thankful to being able to quench so many urges that she had ignored for so long.
She'd be the first to admit that she expected something more when she had sex for the first time with Jeremy. And though Jeremy was a tad bit inexperienced, she realized her inexperience played a role too. She held back, even though she didn't want to. She tried to let loose, to be the sexually wild and free woman that she had always wanted to be and to enjoy the experience to its fullest. She perhaps had too big of an expectation to have the years of repressed feelings vanish in one night. While the sex was wonderful, it was lacking at the same time. Bonnie didn't dwell on it too much since she was looking forward to growing with Jeremy, in all facets of their relationship including the sexual element, to where she could finally be free and indulge in all aspects of love without restriction.
But that was not to be. As the Anchor to the Other Side, its collapse meant her death. Her growth with Jeremy would be interrupted. Once again, all those urges would be buried…until now. The Sovereignty sought to resurrect and exploit those desires for physical intimacy and sexual satisfaction. They were perverting those desires into something she never wanted or ever dreamed of in her darkest moments.
"I have nothing to be thankful to you for. You're not giving me anything that I want."
We give you pleasure. We give you the freedom to be who you really are…without restriction. And we will not abandon you for that as so many others have done. We are your friend.
"This is not who I am! I'd NEVER do the things that you're making my body do!"
If you only knew the levels of depravity that you and your species are truly capable of reaching. Pushed to the limits of desperation, all of you, without exception, will freely and blissfully commit wicked acts borne from self-gratification that we would be envious to witness. Human history has shown just how decadent humanity truly is. None of you are innocent!
Bonnie remained silent as she processed the verdict. Indeed, in that moment, she had no argument. She herself fell to the temptations of Expression magic and went to a place she never thought she'd go. Had she not died from her overuse of that dark magic, she wonders how much further she might have been corrupted. As for the human race itself, she couldn't speak for it. Whether it was in the form of a human, a vampire, a witch, a werewolf, or even a hybrid, the human race had indeed committed atrocities on each other and on Nature itself that rivalled any demonic standard. But as she pondered on the atrocities, she couldn't help but also see the flip side of the coin, those myriad of instances in human history when humanity showed its best side.
"Maybe we're not innocent, and maybe I'm not either. But you conveniently ignore the other side. You—"
At your core, you are like us. You are one of us. You belong to us!
"No! I can feel the emptiness of you. I have something that you don't. Humanity has something that you lack!"
You refer to Love. How quaint!
"It's also true."
Love is an illusion. It is an irrational construct ironically responsible for many of the barbarities your species has committed. How much chaos and how much misery was caused in the name of Love?
"What do you know about love? You don't have it in you. I can only feel hatred from you!"
With good reason.
"You don't know anything about love! How could you?"
We don't know about love? WE DON'T KNOW LOVE?!
Bonnie could feel a change occurring. It was as though there was a hurricane whirling in her mind and soul, and the objects being hurled around were anger, hatred and pain.
WE KNEW LOVE IN ITS HIGHEST AND PUREST FORM! A PERFECT LOVE THAT WITHERED ON THE VINE! OUR PERFECT LOVE AND ADORATION WAS NOT ENOUGH! THAT PERFECT LOVE FOR US WAS NOT ENOUGH! WE WERE DISOWNED FOR THE LOVE OF AN IMPERFECT AND INFERIOR SUBSTITUTE! WE WERE ABANDONED! WE WERE FORSAKEN! WE ARE WHAT LOVE MADE US!
The sorrow and misery was palpable. Bonnie could have sworn she heard a mournful wailing, like a wounded animal left to die out in the wilderness, echoing in her mind. For reasons unknown to her, their confession began to bring to mind memories of Sunday school lessons that she received as a child. Growing up, her father attempted to counter the potential influence of witchcraft in Bonnie's life by taking her to church with him. Although the experience didn't last, Bonnie did remember various things from her time there. As a child, she warmed to the idea of guardian angels watching over her and always wondered if perhaps her Grams might have been one since she seemingly had strange powers that she displayed every now and then. Her belief had been altered when a boy from Sunday school started telling her of the war in heaven where a group of angels opposed the creation of mankind, with the loyal angels eventually casting the rebel faction out of heaven. Her young and naive mind felt somewhat guilty, if not confused, that her existence and the existence of her friends and family made some nice angels mad. She had dismissed it all as myth as she grew older but upon hearing the pain of the Sovereign's testimony now, she wondered if the stories were true. She understood their pain and felt almost sympathetic to them for she knew what it meant to be abandoned, what it meant to be forgotten and forsaken for the love of another. Indeed, love had caused its own share of pain in her life.
"I know what that pain is. And you have my pity. But that doesn't—"
Save your pity for the weak! Love makes you weak and we no longer dwell in love. In hatred, we found power. In anger, we found strength. In coldness, we found invincibility. In darkness, we found purpose. You found all this too when you touched us. Expression taught you. Silas guided you. We are your kindred. We are your family. We are your friends. We—
"You are none of those things to me and you never will be! I'm not like you and neither is the human race. For all the crimes and atrocities that humanity has done, it has also done incredible things in the name of love. Despite the pain it's brought, I would gladly dwell and do things in the name of love before I give in to hate!"
You don't deny that it brings you pain, so why endure such a cost for so little benefit? You've sacrificed yourself for your friends and family out of love...and it all amounted to nothing! It brought no permanent change. It only brought suffering for you in the end. Even now, you seek to spare your beloved Grams' suffering by enduring it yourself. It need not be this way.
"You want me to end my suffering by giving in to you, is that it?"
Give in to us and you will never feel pain again. And we will spare your Grams in the process. Unless you enjoy the suffering!
"You know I don't trust you. As for my Grams, I will do whatever it takes to spare her any pain."
Out of love. That is what makes you vulnerable!
"That's what you don't get! It takes incredible strength and courage to love because there is a chance that I could be hurt. I know that all too well! But you're too blinded by hate to see that."
And you're too blinded by love to see the sensssselessness of it.
"Love takes effort. It takes work. Maybe you were too lazy and cowardly put the effort into it and that's why you lost that perfect love you spoke of."
And you love when it's convenient and ONLY when it's convenient. Do you love those who hate you? Do you love your enemies? Do you love Klaus? Do you love Katherine? Do you love Silas? Do you love usss?
Bonnie didn't respond. She had to admit that there was no love lost for the names on that list. Each one of them had hurt her in one way or another and she wondered if she felt genuine hate for them. But as her mind dwelt on those people, she realized that one name had been conspicuously absent; one person who she would have readily put on that list before she found herself in the Abyss but found that her feelings towards him were changing.
"You forgot someone," Bonnie replied, almost defiantly.
She could feel their presence diminish as she thought of him and her outlook towards him. It seemed to her that the Sovereignty's argument was automatically stifled by it and they no longer wanted to converse. She knew she was being obstinate and that it was annoying them. She felt relief from the swirling hatred and anger in around her mind and soul as their presence faded into the background and she opened her eyes. As usual, she squinted at the brightness of the mirror room which caused her to blink until her eyes could focus. Once they did, she looked up into the ceiling mirror and saw Damon looking at her, with an expression on his face and in a state that shocked her.
"Oh, my God! Damon!"
