First, I know I said chapter 4 would contain different things, but I got started writing and couldn't stop! So, now chapter 5 will contain Ana starting a relationship with Christian and the weekend getaway! Sorry. Xx

Let's address some issues here...

Multiple people have messaged me about Christian's swearing/cussing. I did the rate the story as M. So, it will continue. I will try to tone it out about, but I find that it kind of helps explain his frustration.

I have multiple ways this story can go, I feel that the long chapters may be boring you, but I like to explain things that happen or thoughts that go through my characters minds. If you'd rather me not, let me know and I will try to get straight to it with out so much "thinking..."

The Pinterest is: joskris/high-school-passion/

I will most likely be updating the pinterest page as I am writing the story. I have found that I write the story and then try to find pictures to have a visual of what I am thinking and can't find any! So if I have a picture I am happy with, I will pin and right about it for that chapter. The pin should always have a chapter on it that way there are not so confusing.

I promise, I will start skipping ahead and get the story on the road. Let me know if you guys like these lengthy chapters like this, or if you'd rather it be more fast paced (less of the inner monologues and thoughts). If there are less thoughts, the chapters maybe shorter! Just let me know what you'd like in regards to chapters!

Thanks Xx


CPOV

This is not how I expected my evening to play out. I feel like I am such an idiot. Fuck, I am an idiot. How could I not put two and two together? Anastasia Steele, or shall we say Ana, is sitting directly across from me at our dinner table. Enjoying dinner with my family. I am waiting for someone to call me out on my shit, because I have only stopped glaring at her when they have spoken to me directly. I am so fucking pissed. She lead me on. Why didn't she tell me who she was. Or did she really think I automatically knew. Well, it wasn't that hard to figure it out. I was just too worried about getting into her panties to notice. STUPID.

"Christian son, I suppose I can trust you to keep the boys away from my Ana at school right, son?" Ray laughs.

You can bet her sweet little fucking ass that I will be cock blocking any mother fucker who even tries to get near her.

"Of course Ray, I won't let anyone one near her." I say with malice grin looking directly at Anastasia, fuck it's Ana now.

Ana looks up at me and I can see directly into her eyes. Fear? Confusion? I am sure as fuck she sees the anger in my eyes because she blushes and turns to her father.

"Dad, I am sure I don't need a babysitter and positive Christian has better things to do."

"Ana, your Ray's baby girl, Christian will not mind keeping an eye on you. Remember sweetheart, you're new here. Even though Seattle Prep has elite students, some of them can be very intimidating. Christian knows everyone there." My mom answers.

"But, so does Mia." What? Does she not want me around her? Well, with the way I have been throwing daggers at her, it doesn't surprise me.

"Ana, it's Christian. Not a stranger." Oh, but we are strangers now. I thought I knew her.

"Can Ana start riding with one of you two to school? She still doesn't want to drive. Yet"

"Daaad, stop it please. Jess can pick me up. Mia already rides with Meghan and her car is a two seater."

"She can ride with me Ray, I go by myself." I say and she narrows her eyes at me. I lift an eyebrow in return. Argue about that, I dare you to.

"I have to stay after school most days for cheer practice. It is unnecessary, Thank you though Christian."

She took me up on my dare, it's like she fucking heard my thoughts. Innocent my fucking ass. You're playing with fire baby.

"I can take her and pick her up after practice, I start row practice soon and I am sure will get out around the same time. Until then I can just always wait for you at Brandon's or hang out with Mike until you're done."

"Thank you Christian. Carrick, Grace you have a nice boy here. Ana, no arguing. Jess lives 15 minutes from here, it doesn't makes sense for her to come out here when Christian can take you."

Oh she is pissed, I can see it. Oh well baby.

"Fine." Round 1: Christian 1, Ana 0. And that makes me happy as shit.

I take this time to study Ana. I have to get use to the idea of calling her Ana. She is fucking beautiful. She really is innocent. I have noticed the little things she does, She looks away when she feels embarrassed, bites her bottom lip when nervous, and damn if that doesn't make me hard. Fucking awkward, having a hard on at the dinner table. She fidgets with her hair as if she is trying to keep her hands busy. What bothers me the most is that she only had some of the grilled chicken salad. She didn't even touch the vegetable lasagna. Maybe it's her nerves. I doubt that she has a problem staying fit with all the workouts she does. She is intimidated by you Grey, you have been a complete dick tonight. And now I feel bad. Whatever her reason was for not telling me who she was, she doesn't deserve the looks I am throwing her way. I soften my attitude and beg for her to look my way so I can give her a smile, but she doesn't. A few minutes later, I decide I can't take it anymore and gently kick her under the table to get her attention. Her head snaps my way and I smile at her. A genuine smile. A peace offering. She smiles back, but it doesn't reach her eyes. Come on baby, I am sorry. I was just confused and angry as fuck. Well I am still confused, but less angry.

"Excuse me, I have to take this." Ray stands with his cell phone and walks toward the kitchen. Mia, Mom, and Dad are all talking and I take my chances and kick Ana again. She looks up and I mouth to her;

"We need to talk"

She gently nods. I feel my phone buzzing and I pull out under the table.

Later.

I am sorry, Ana. You just caught me off guard.

LATER Christian.

Okay.

Ray comes back in and has a grim face.

"Carrick the firm in Chicago is about to lose the Zanicker case. One of us needs to head out there immediately."

"Damn it… excuse my language kids, Ray let's go to the study."

"Dad, I am going to head home, it's getting late."

Perfect.

"I will walk you home Ana." DON'T ARGUE, DO NOT FUCKING ARGUE.

She just nods.

"Thank you Christian. Ana, I will be home as soon as I can."

We walk out the door and soon as we are out of sight I turn toward her and grab her by her shoulders. She looks up at me and if I had any anger left it was vanished in that instant. Her innocent blue eyes stare up to mine. I lean my forehead against hers and breathe in her intoxicating scent.

"Why didn't you tell me Ana?" Her brows furrow in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Is she trying to piss me off?

"You know what I am talking about. Why didn't you tell me you were Ana, Ray's daughter. You lead me on to believe you were Anastasia." I say while trying to contain my temper. Still forehead to forehead. She wiggles out of my grasp and pushes herself away from, puts one hand on her forehead and speaks gently.

"Christian, I didn't know you knew my family, I didn't know you were my neighbor. I am sorry that you didn't know who I was either, but if you're implying that I lied to you then you're wrong. I didn't lie."

"You're right, but you omitted the truth." I almost yell as I raise my hands in frustration.

"How did I omit the truth Christian? Please tell me, because I am just as confused as you are."

"Well how about the fact that everyone calls you fucking Ana, and you never once bothered to tell me. You hang out with Mia my sister, she at some point had to mention me. My fucking friends seem to know just who the fuck you are and yet me, I don't even who the fuck you were in reality. It's fucking bullshit Ana. You should have told me at the party Friday night." I yell

I can see the tears starting to form in her eyes, but she doesn't let them drop. She just closes her eyes and sighs. Lightly shaking her head, she opens her eye and I can tell that she is hurt.

"First, please do not yell at me. Second, Yes, everyone calls me Ana because Anastasia make me feel like I am in trouble. I only allowed you to do call me Anastasia because I find you intimidating, and for some reason I … I like the way Anastasia sounds when you say it." She blushes, but continues. "third, Mia has mentioned her brothers from time to time, but it was always 'my brother this' 'my brother that', fourth, the only people I know at Seattle Prep besides the cheer team are Mia, Kate Jess and Brandon and that is just through Jess. I didn't know they were your friends too Christian."

She walks off, by herself and I am stuck to the ground. She handed me balls on a platter. She is right. She is so fucking right. If I didn't know, she had a chance of not knowing as well. I am a first class dick. I take out my phone and call her… damn it she sent me to voicemail. Why would she want to talk to you after your dick moves? I'll text her.

Ana baby, please answer me. We need to talk.

I start to make the way back to the house holding my phone in my hand praying that she texts me back soon.

At midnight I am wide fucking awake and Ana still hasn't texted me back.

Please Ana, I am sorry. I was a dick. Don't shut me out.

Just call me.

And at 1:30…

I will pick you up at 7:30am for school.

Yes! Just my luck she can't ride with me for 20 minutes and not talk.


I am outside waiting for Ana to come out. It is already 7:40. I have called her multiple times and all of times my calls have gone to voicemail. Did she go with Jess and not even let me know? I know this is a shitty move, but she should have let me know at least. I call Ray.

"To what do I owe the pleasure this early?"

"Good morning Ray, I am waiting for Ana outside and she has not answered any of my calls. I thought maybe she caught a ride with Jess, but didn't want to leave until I knew for sure."

Ray chuckles…

"I hate to do this to you, but I need to ask you for a favor."

"Excuse me?"

"I had to leave for the office early this morning, and Ana has a habit of oversleeping. I am sure her phone is on silent and she is still asleep." He says laughing.

So what does he want me to do about it?

"Would you mind going in and waking her up? The alarm code is 1009, her room is on the third floor the last door on the left."

"Uhhh Ray, ummm are you sure that is okay? I mean, I have been in Mia's room before and almost got sent to the hospital. I don't know if that is safe idea." Going into a girls room when they don't expect you to is just a recipe for disaster.

"It's fine, don't worry. Just go in."

And he hangs up. Damn it. I reluctantly get out my car and head toward the door. After entering the alarm code, I know exactly where I am going. I have been over here many many times during the years. Funny thing is I am just now noticing the girl in the pictures. My sweet sweet Anastasia. ANA! Damn, I have to program that into my head.

As I enter her room I am quite surprised. She doesn't have shit laying around everywhere. I can tell she is organized. She has just one dancer decal above her bed. She really is a simple girl. Mia's room looks like Neiman Marcus got hit by an earthquake. I look over to her bed and Ray was right. Sleeping Beauty is still asleep. I decide to continue checking out her room later and wake the princess. I wonder if should wake her with a kiss? I am pathetic, talking about princesses and shit. As I hover over her, I take in her beauty. She is really quite the sight. She looks so peaceful it pains to me wake her, but we are already late as it is, so I have to do it. I sit down on the side of her bed, tuck her hair behind her ear and let my finger stroke down the side of her face, her skin is so soft. I lean down and whisper in her ear.

"Annnaaaa"

Nothing

"Come on Sleeping Beauty, you need to wake up"

Still no response.

I shake her shoulder a little and her arm comes flying up as she bolts forward and strikes me right in the nose.

"Fuck Ana!"

"Christian?" She jumps off the bed and continues.

"What are you doing here?" What am I doing here? Getting a broken nose, thank you very much. And Ray said I wouldn't need a fucking hospital. And then I see what she is wearing. And fuck was I right! Lace and boyshorts; a matching pink pajama set. I can't make eye contact with her because I am too busy eye fucking her body. Damn she is hot. I need her so fucking bad. My jeans are about to bust.

"Christian, what the hell are you doing here?" Did she just swear? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Not a total good girl.

"Well your dad asked me to wake you up because were late for school, but apparently the memo you got was to break my nose." I say half chuckling.

She rushes to my side immediately, kneeling down to look at my nose.

"I am so, so sorry. You just startled me. Let me see." She grabs my face.

"It's fine… it doesn't hurt anymore."

She bites her lip, and that is my queue. Time to kiss her. I take her head in my palms and gently brush my lips against hers. I almost thought she would push me away, but she doesn't she opens her mouth slightly and allows me entrance. This kiss is filled with sweetness, I take my time gently dominating her mouth. This kiss is slow, and passionate. Not like I've done before, but this feels right. Perfect.

I gently push her away.

"Ana, as much as I want to kiss you, we have to go. We're late."

"Go where?" She asks with a groan, runs her fingers through her hair and leans back on her heels.

"School."

Now that has her attention as she stands up faster than lighting.

"What time is it?" She asks as she starts pulling at her hair. I look down at my phone and yup, we are really fucking late.

"7:48"

"WHAAAAT?" And that is the loudest I have ever heard the girl.

"That's my closet, please go get me some clothes while I take a quick shower." She says pointing to a door.

"Uhhh Ana, I really don't know about how women chose their clothes…."

"Just do it! It color coordinated. Find a pair of jeans and a top, shoes are through the door in the closet just grab whatever it will be fine." She yells from what I am guessing is her bathroom.

This girl is not kidding when it comes to being organized. This is the most immaculate closet I have ever seen, she even puts Barbara Reich to shame. I find the closet rod with jeans and I close my eyes and chose a pair. These will have to do, now for a shirt… hmm, what color. WHITE! White goes with everything. I grab a white tank top from the hanger and head into the next door to find your highness some shoes. A shoe closet? As in a closet just for shoes? I wonder if Mia has seen this? No, she hasn't. She would have a temper tantrum like a three year old for one of these. I quickly grab the first pair of sandals I see and walk back toward her room. I lay her clothes out on her bed just as she is coming out of the bathroom finally looking awake. She has her hair in some type of just fucked me bun hair style with soft tendrils falling around her face. I doubt she has makeup on and she still looks beautiful. She drops her silk robe from her body allowing me the perfect view of her naked back and ass. I let out strangled moan as the pressure in my dick is becoming unbearable. Ana freezes, turns slightly and gasps. It takes her a while to snap out of it, but then she rapidly grabs her robe to cover herself. Is she fucking bare? No, that can't be? Why the fuck would she be? Her folds would be so soft, I wonder how she tastes...

"What the hell Christian? OUT!" She yells, breaking my inner monologue. Is she blushing?

"Uhmmm, yea.. I uhmmm will just be in the, the, the car." What the fuck was that? Was that even a sentence? Could she even understand me? I am rooted to the floor unable to move until finally Ana finally yells so loud Canada heard.

"GET OUT CHRISTIAN!" Damn, Mia has nothing, and I mean nothing on Ana. I flinch, and the the trance is broken. I turn on my heel and do not stop until I feel the cool air on my face. I am finally able to breathe again. She is hot. Sexy. And Beautiful. I wanted to throw her on that bed and just have my way with her… all the things I could do. I can just imagine how soft her skin must be. What I would do to see her flush and scream my name underneath me. I flinch once again as I hear the door slam and Ana is running toward my car. We finally make it inside and I see her putting on her sandals.

"Were the clothes alright? I never had to chose an outfit for a girl before." I ask slightly nervous...

"The sandals could have had a little more heel to it, but it will do. See I told you it would be fine." She says smiling. If she doesn't like those sandals why does she have them?

"I am sorry." Sorry? I tilt my head and cock a brow.

"Yes, I am sorry for yelling at you up there. It wasn't your fault I overslept, and forgot you were in the room If anything I should thank you." She leans as far over the console as her seat belt will allow her to, cups my face and presses her soft lips against my cheek, leaving it there for a few seconds.

"Thank you." She whispers in my ear and rights herself in the passenger seat again.

It takes me a second, but I quickly turn and give her a genuine smile, she blushes, throws her head back and giggles. HARD. I HAVE A HARD ON. Damn, this girl is going to give me blue balls. And for reasons not only related to me driving safely, I decide that my eyes better stay glued on the road, before I pull over and take her right here.


As predicted we arrive to school late, thankfully Ray had already called to let them know we were running late. We walk into first period together and immediately all the attention is on us. Mr. Marvin is none the wiser and just takes our slips. Mike however, has the biggest shit eating grin I have ever seen. I know what he must be thinking, and he is wrong. He doesn't know that Anastasia and Ana are the same person, and that we are neighbors. He probably thinks we were out in my car fucking. I shake my head and grin. As much as I love the idea of that, it isn't the case. I take a seat next to Ana in the back and turn to gaze at her. I am immediately distracted when I see Leila glaring at us with narrow, furious eyes. Damn it. She is probably thinking the same thing as Mike. Why does she even care? I choose to ignore her and gaze at my beautiful Ana. She is reading a passage from her textbook and I notice how she has her arms wrapped around herself and rubbing her arms. She looks uncomfortable. I write her a note and slide it onto her desk.

What's wrong?

Cold.

OF COURSE SHE IS COLD! It is only supposed to be in the 60's today because of a cold front coming in. What the hell was I thinking when I grabbed her that shirt. FUCK.

A few minutes later the bell dismisses us and the thought of Ana being cold all day pains me. As we are walking out I unbutton my long sleeve shirt and shrug out of it, leaving me just in my v-neck. I drape it around her shoulders and whisper,

"I can't have you being cold baby." Then place a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

She giggles and turns around.

Just as she is about to say something, I hear a slow mocking clap.

"Bravo, Christian. Playing the gentleman sure does suit you. What? Did this bitch lose her shirt in the rush to take it off for you? Because that is your style right? Clothes off, for a fast fuck and duck?"

I push Ana behind me, she does need to be anywhere near Leila right now. Or ever.

"What is your problem with me Leila?" Ana asks as she steps around me. Clearly not hearing my last thought.

"Ana, just let me handle Leila. Go to your next class." I tell her. She looks at me hesitantly.

"Go Ana, I will see you at lunch." She looks like she wants to say something, but stops herself and walks away.

Just as Leila turns to leave I grab her arm and swing her around and then drop it fast as if it were on fire.

"Didn't I ask you to leave Ana alone?" I ask now furious. My arms crossed over my chest so I can remember that I am never to hit a woman. But this woman? Leila is pushing with my self control.

"Yes, you did ask. Doesn't mean I said yes."

"LEAVE. HER. ALONE. LEILA."

"Or what? Why do you care so much?" Why do I care? Because she is not a quick fuck like you. Because she makes my heart skip a beat.

"That is none of your fucking business, So I am going to tell you once last time Leila. Stay away from her, and stay away from me."

"I will stay away from her, if you do." She deadpans.

Who the fuck does she think she is? Does she think she can boss me around? Well she has another thing coming to her. I don't even bother with a response and walk away. Damn why do these girls have to be so fucking dramatic? We had sex. One time. I was drunk. I don't think I even kissed her. And now she thinks she has some type of claim on me?

I sit down in second period and send a silent thanks that we are watching some type of educational movie. It will allow me to get my thoughts in order. How did I get here?

Anastasia. Ana. Yes, that is how I got here. Who the fuck was I kidding? She was never going to be a quick fuck or even my fuck buddy. She was never going to be a girl added to my list. I was just confused over these damn feelings and attraction toward her. She wasn't trying to play with me or make me chase her. She was just flirting with me because she feels the same attraction. I know she does. I want her. I want more with her. Could I be boyfriend material? Could I be the guy she deserves and have sex just with her? Well that is a dumb question, I have never once had a hard on as the ones Ana has given me. I have never desired anyone as much as I do her. I have never felt jealousy over anyone. Even when I went to Amber's house last week I was already picturing Ana in my head. No girl has ever made me feel like this. Not Cathy, Megan, Amber, Lisa, Leila or any of other ones. FUCK, Leila. What will Leila do if she finds out that I am with Ana? She can't do anything. Yeah, besides make Ana's life miserable. I can't let that happen. Leila hates Ana, Amber hates Ana. Will the other girls I have hooked up with hate Ana as well? What if they start plotting against her because of me? These girls are vile. Last year, Lisa humiliated a girl in front of the football team during a game just because the girl gave her then boyfriend, Jeff, a high five. THAT WON'T HAPPEN TO ANA. I won't let it. We can't be together, because of my past. I feel sick. I regret it all, each and every one of them. I can't help to realize that each of them are the jealous, crazy, psycho type and a lot go to this school. Why did you fuck them Grey? Because, because they were an easy lay. Ana is too sweet and wouldn't be able to handle that. I am so sorry, baby. I ruined it, before we even started. I close my eyes and try to remind myself that we can still be friends. Our families are friends, closer to family. We can be JUST friends. Right?


By lunch time I already have it in my head that we can only be friends. I make my way to our normal table and stop dead in my tracks. Ana is there giggling with Jess and Kate. Damn it that giggle. I close my eyes and try to focus in on that sound. Grey. Seriously. Get your shit together, it's not like you will never see her again. I shake those thoughts away and continue to our table. You knew she was going to be there. Her boot camp cheer practice is done for now. She still has on my shirt, she has it buttoned and has rolled the sleeves above her wrists. It's too big for her, but that girl can sport anything. She looks adorable. And it makes my heart flutter to know that shirt is mine.

I hate this. I sit as far as possible from Ana and watch as brief confusion passes through her eyes, I offer her a small smile and look toward Brandon who is planning our weekend trip.

"I don't think I can make it guys." Ana says… What? Why? You have to go.

"My dad is flying out to Chicago for a couple of weeks on Wednesday and I may go with him." She answers my silent question. A few weeks without seeing Ana? That can't happen.

"Ana, you have stayed alone before. Why can't you stay alone now?" Kate questions. I don't think I like the sound of Ana being alone in that house over night.

"It was two nights, not two weeks Kate!"

"Ana, think about it. If it bothers you so much then just stay at my house, you know my parents and Ethan love you." Of course Ethan loves her. Who wouldn't? Ethan fucking Kavanaugh. Older brother to Kate.

"I will think about it. No guarantees, you know I love you, but I am allergic to your cat." She giggles. Thank goodness for that allergy, because here is my opportunity;

"Ana, you could always stay with us. My mom and Mia adore you and you will be close to home if you were to need something." I say. Or so that we can be alone. STOP. That is not happening. We can't be together that way. But before she has a chance to answer;

"Christian, baby. I heard you have a new toy hanging around." Damn it. Cathy... Cathy Walker. We had sex a few times last year and then she proceeded to tell everyone in the damn world that she rejected me because I was a player and couldn't take no for an answer after I refused to be exclusive with her. Of course the school knew that I was man whore and her story was completely false. Like I said earlier, PSYCHO. Sorry my sweet Ana. I have to do this.

"Now Cathy, what ever would give you that impression?" Brandon has an amused look and the girls are just shaking their heads and grinning, all but Ana. She has a confused look on her beautiful face.

"Well, you know. Word travels fast. Even said that you looked a little more... into this one." she states glaring at Ana. Luckily no one notices that, but me.

Translation for that comment, Leila told everyone Ana has caught my attention more than anyone else has and ever probably will and now it is time to screw with her life.

"I am sure you know better than that. I am never into anyone for more than a few minutes. She is just a friend." I say trying to avoid the double meaning and praying that Ana can hear me screaming for forgiveness.

"Aren't we all just friends Christian?" She laughs maliciously "Well, if that's the case. Stop by later tonight? 9:30?" She says with a wink.

"I will be there." And just to keep up the show, I look her up and down. And nope, there is NOTHING there that I want. She can't see that, I am sure she thinks that I am waiting to get my hands on her. She air kisses me and sashays away.

Brandon let's out his held in laughter and grabs his waist.

"EWWW Christian, you're such a pig. Did you have to do that at the table? We are eating."

"Awe come on Jess, let my boy get a little action tonight." Brandon says causing laughter from everyone at the table aside from the only laughter I want to hear… Ana's.

She is just staring at me. Eyebrows raised in disbelief, eyes filled with disappointment. Her silent statement "That's all you wanted from me?" Can I blame her? Baby, I am sorry. I implore her to understand with my eyes. We are sat here, not breaking eye contact and I silently pray for her to hear my thoughts. I am not going to Cathy's tonight, or any other night. It was just a show. Please, understand that. I am doing this for you. Kate breaks us from our silent conversation.

"Ana are you feeling okay? You haven't had more than a few bites of your fruit salad."

"Yea, I am fine. I am just not that hungry." She says quietly. Not that hungry? Or lost your appetite? And what is this shit? A fruit salad? Isn't that supposed to be a side dish for breakfast?

"Bullshit Ana, you told me in third period, that you missed breakfast and couldn't wait to get your hands on a bowl of fruit salad."

"Kate, I said I am fine. I have to go. I need to get some things ready for my next class." She gets up, tosses her tray, and leaves. Without a glance behind her.

I feel like shit, she did miss breakfast. She was late getting up. I didn't even grab her some fucking toast on the way out. She was craving fruit salad and I couldn't even let her eat it in peace. Thanks to my fucking past. I hate this shit. I am in high school, are these feelings normal to have in high school? I have to talk to her… I'll send her a text. She probably doesn't want to me to follow her right now.

Ana, I am sorry. It is not what it looks like. I promise.

It's fine. You don't have to give me an explanation.

What? Of course I owe you an explanation. Can't you see that I want to be with you? She has to see that. To know that.

It is not fine. You didn't even eat.

I had things I needed to finish for my next class. I am fine, don't worry about it.

Bullshit, what things?

She replies with a video clip of her highlighting through a book. I bet she doesn't even realize that she is highlighting the whole damn page.

We need to talk. Please come back and eat.

We don't need to talk. Everything has been said.

Please, Ana.

No.

If she doesn't want to talk now, that is fine. But we are talking. I will not have her thinking that I just wanted into her panties. At first I did, but then I realized just how fun, beautiful, smart and innocent she was. That night at the lake was spent talking about everything, the universe, the future. Countless minutes of laughing and being ourselves. It was a great night. I want her to be mine only and I only hers. I want to be with her. But it can't be.

As the bell rings I get up and start to head to the next class. I round the corner at the same time as Jared fucking Pitchard is giving Ana his letter jacket. I watch how she takes off my shirt and grips it tightly as if not wanting to let go of it. Don't let go if it baby. Please don't. She puts it in her locker and puts on Jared's jacket. MOTHER FUCKING PRICK. She rolls up one sleeve to her wrist and turns to the other and catches me in her line of view. At first I see empathy in her eyes. Maybe she can see the pain she has caused me, maybe she can see that I am ripping myself apart from the inside out. Then, the empathy changes to resolution. She grabs my shirt from her locker and holds up a finger to Jared as in telling him to give her a minute. She starts to approach me and I am not sure what I want to do more. Rip that fucking jacket off her and burn it to ashes or take her in my arms and never let go. The latter is impossible though. She looks up at me and looks like she has been tugging at her eyes, they are slightly puffy and pink. Please don't let it be from her crying. Anything but that.

"Thank you Christian for letting me borrow your shirt." She hands it to me.

"You don't need his fucking jacket Ana, if you want a jacket I can grab mine from the car." I say trying not sound like the alpha male trying to mark his territory, but I even know, that I am failing miserably.

"Why would I need yours over Jared's?" she asks as she stares directly into my eyes.

"Because, we are …" Because we are more than friends, because in one fucking week I am whipped. YUP, I am whipped with a woman I can't have.

"Because of what, Christian?"

"You know what, don't even answer that question. It's fine, I get it Christian.. I really do. You don't have to act like the alpha male here. We are just friends remember? I have returned your shirt, and you can keep your jacket just in case one of your other friends need it." She called me on me on my alpha male shit. Damn, I swear she can read my thoughts. It did not escape my attention the emphasis of the word friends.. as in Cathy, Leila, Amber etc. With that she turns and starts to walk back to Jared. Not three steps later, she turns to me again;

"You don't need to wait for me to get done with cheer practice. Jared has offered to take me home. He gets out of football practice at the same time, so there is no sense of you waiting for me." And once more she is on her way. Once she gets to Jared she nods at a question I couldn't hear and heads to her class. Jared looks at me and if looks could fucking kill, he would be a dead fucking man right now with the glare I am giving him. He smirks, shaking his head lightly and follows Ana, no doubt watching her ass sway from side to side. Watching my girl.

And since Jared in not in arms reach I punch the metal locker. Hard, twice. Causing the metal to bend in and my body to fill with anger. I don't even feel the pain in my hand. Knowing I can't handle the rest of the day I head to my car, but then I remember that Jared has last period gym with us. I close my eyes and count to twenty, slowly. I let go of the breath I was holding and make my way to class.


I am already in the gym, in my normal routine, well what I can do of it. I know my knuckles are bruised as fuck from the earlier assault I gave the locker while picturing Jared's face. Being sure to place myself directly in back of the treadmill Ana uses and wait for her to come in. Yep, I will not be taking my eyes off of her, at least not while Jared is in the same room. Not that I would want to take them off her ever, but I even know that is not possible. Jared is already in the room and yes, I have already glared at the fucker. He is acting pretty giddy, grabbing free weights and placing them to the side of me. He's asking for me to knock his head off. What the hell is this shit? 10 ponders? 15 pounders? Now, just because I hate his guts because he wants my Ana, I know when to admit that a guy is a good looking fellow.. and Jared is. Perhaps an inch shorter than me, ripped where he needs to be. The standard jock. So I know for a fact, he can lift more than that. His jaw drops and my skin starts to tingle, that can only mean one thing… Ana is in the room. Judging by the way his jaw dropped I don't even want to imagine what she has on. I drop my weights, put my hands on my hips, turn around and brace myself. Damn, she is one hot fucking woman. Do not get a hard on, do not get a hard on. I repeat my mantra silently. It's not revealing, well If I had my way she would be wrapped in a comforter 24/7, but this outfit isn't revealing. IT. IS. FUCKING. PAINTED. ON. HER. That's the problem. It's so damn tight I wonder how she can move, how she can breathe. It's an all black ensemble, even her shoes are black. How can I workout when I have to watch her run in that?

What is she doing? She walks passed the treadmill and directly in front of me. Gives me a tad smile and continues only to stop when she is at Jared's side. I tilt my head so I can listen into their conversation.

"Wow, Ana. uhmmm, you ready to get started?" Get started with what you fucking prick?

"Yea, let's start."

There working out together? What is this crap? He grabs her waist and tells her to bend her knees slightly. He positions himself behind her and says that he will hold her waist while she squats. RED. I see fucking red. No way is that fucking happening. I walk straight up to them, my hands still on my hip. I'm afraid to move them, because I know the damage I will cause to Jared. I look at Ana who has wide eyes and stares directly at me. I lean down and whisper just for her to hear;

"Anastasia, STEP. BACK." Quietly, but full of threat. She stares at me, not doubt shocked with my demand.

"You" I turn and point to Jared. "You, better keep your hands to yourself!"

"What is the problem Christian? She isn't yours." Yes, she is.

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

"Right back at ya'. " He smirks

I get right in his face, ready to fucking kill him. I feel electricity go through me and I know Ana's hands are on me. She has stepped in between us and has placed both her hands on my chest pushing me away slightly. She can try all she wants, but I am not budging from her force. I take a step back on my on my own accord, if Ana were to get caught in between this, she would be hurt and I'd die before she is hurt.

"Christian, calm down please." I guess she can see the anger radiating from my body.

I don't answer her, but grab her wrist and pull her behind me.

"Christian, Christian look at me."

I turn and look at her. All I see is her frightened look and it pains me. She is scared of me. I let her wrist go, close my eyes and count to 20.

"What's wrong, Christian?"

"Ana…."

"What is it?"

"Please don't do this…." Don't be with Jared.

"Do what?" She asks confused.

"Please... let's talk." I say strained through gritted teeth.

"You need to calm down. I don't know what is going on, but you have to calm down first."

"Promise me."

"Promise you what?"

"That we'll talk" That you won't be with Jared, or any other prick.

She stares at me for what seems like forever and reaches up to place her palm against my cheek, instantly calming me. And quietly says;

"I promise you, we will talk. But not now. Later." And gives me a bashful smile. I lean my head into her palm and close my eyes. I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles gently. I open my eyes and see her confused look, but under that confusion… I see an emotion, the same emotion I feel in my heart. Can it be love? I don't know what that feels like. I let her hand go and walk out of the gym. I need to clear my head and being in there won't help.


I am leaning against the hood of my car, outside Seattle Prep's arena waiting for Ana to be done with cheer practice. I have already been back to my house, showered and changed. I went over to Ana's and got her another outfit. I am planning taking her somewhere to talk and I am sure will appreciate a change of clothes. Plus, it is chilly out here and I want her to be warm. I am going to tell her that I have feelings for her, and the reasons I can't act upon them. I am going to ask her to wait for me. Until, at least Leila, Cathy and Amber are done this year. They are the most vile and they are the ones that will form a team to make Ana miserable. I am going to tell her that I have to continue the part, but she is the one that has my heart. I grin inwardly at myself at the sapp I have become for Ana. I hope she understands. I see the girls start to come out and I cross my arms and lift the heel of my shoe to the bumper. I don't understand what the football team was doing inside the arena with the cheer leaders. But, that only means one thing… Jared and Ana are both in there. I clench my fists under my arms and grind my teeth together in an effort to not lose it. Jared is grinning and whatever he says causes Ana to laugh loudly. She is so cute when she is being herself. I haven't seen her like that since Saturday night at the lake. Jared spots me first and his grin vanishes. He rests his hand on Ana's arm and tells her something to what she hesitantly nods. Jared leaves Ana's side and strolls over to me.

"Look, Christian… I don't know why you continue to try to cock block me, but you need to stop." I will do more than cock block him when it comes to Ana.

"And you are who, to tell me what I need to do?"

"Stop the cockiness, and lets talk."

"The only thing I need to say is that you NEED to stay away from Ana."

"Why? She already told me that you guys are just friends. That your families are close." So, according to Ana we are just friends? Does she not feel the same way as me? Maybe I misread her. Maybe she wants to be with Jared. Well she can't. Calm it Grey.

"I'll repeat myself one last time, STAY AWAY FROM HER." Haven't I said that more than enough for one day?

"No. Stop being a fucking dick. I am not going to let you…"

"You're not going to let me ...WHAT?" I yell.

"Ana, just stay there." I yell toward her as I see her making her way over toward us. She shouldn't be around us right now. I see that she is not stopping so I push myself off of the car and place myself in between them. I hold her tight behind me, not allowing her to interfere in whatever is going on between Jared and I.

"Jared, please just go." Ana tells him from behind me.

"And leave you with him?" he waves a hand toward me. What the fuck does he think I am going to do to her?

"It's fine, I trust him. He is not going to hurt me. We just need to talk." She trusts me? My heart just skipped. Good baby, I will never hurt you.

"No, you want to talk and he wants to fuck. I have been going to school with him for four years, I know how he works Ana. He just wants to…"

"Are you fucking deaf? Ana just told you to fucking leave."

"Why, so you can add her to your list like some slu…" He doesn't have a chance to finish that sentence. My fist connects with his jaw perfectly. I don't even flinch at the throbbing pain coming from re bruising my knuckles. It's worth it, I have been wanting to do that since the moment he first touched Ana. Before he can get in a hit Ana rushes around in between us begging us to stop. Jared looks down at her, and closes his eyes. Most likely counting to 20, yea bro' I am the master at that shit. Especially when it comes to Ana. He inhales deeply and releases his breath.

"I will call you later, Ana." Like fuck you will. You will in no way be contacting her. He turns and starts to leave.

"Jared …" Ana calls out. WHY. IS. SHE. STOPPING. HIM?

Oh that's why. She shrugs out of his jacket and rushes to give it to him. Once she is back by my side I grab her upper arm and lead her to the passenger door and let her in. I get in the driver's seat and quickly pull out of there. I reach into the back and grab the bag with her stuff.

"Change."

"uhh what?"

"I brought you a change of clothes. Change."

She looks at me confused.

"Damn it Ana, just fucking change. You promised we were going to talk, so were going to talk. We're going to dinner first because you haven't eaten all fucking day, so I thought you'd like a change of fucking clothes." I say louder than intended.

She undoes her seat belt and hops over the console into the smaller back seat area.

"What are you doing Anastasia?" Trying not sound frustrated. Yea, I failed at that attempt.

"I am changing, I am sure you did not expect me to change up there in front with you."

"With what I saw you in this morning, I am sure that would have been fine."

She gasps and glares at me.

Yep. Tonight is going to be fun.


Thank you! Next update should be by Wednesday :) Sorry for any grammar mistakes that were missed! Xx.