A/N: YES!! Chapter 4! It's rather long, this chapter, and it's also rather... um.... odd? I dunno. I have a feeling that the Al/Wrath-ness will soon be the main point of the story, since Ed and Envy aren't seeing each other. D: Damn. But still. Enjoy~! A/N end
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Alphonse is the kind of person who can wake up anytime they want without fail. He put alarm clocks to shame, never in his whole life needing them. And he wasn't going to stop now.
At 6.30 am sharp, Al's eyelids blinked open. He gazed up at a whitewashed ceiling and breathed in the scent of the sheets. Slightly musty, like it had been left alone for too long. He blinked, confused, then remembered that he and Ed were staying in a new flat, and relaxed. He turned around, ready to jump out of bed and wake his (lazy) brother up when he caught sight of a half-naked Wrath hugging his middle.
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Wrath fell off the bed and blinked, dazed. Why was Envy yelling so loudly? Robbery...? No, wait, it's Alphonse... Why is Alphonse sitting on me?
"GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
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Envy stared blankly at the wall, listening to the two teens screaming in Wrath's room. He didn't even have the energy to sit up and yell at them to shut up. Shaking slightly, he threw off his soaked clothes and wrapped himself in his blanket.
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Wrath stopped screaming and soon got Alphonse to quiet down too. Wondering idly why Envy haven't yelled at him, Al or his alarm clock yet, he pushed Al into his bathroom and threw in a clean set of clothes. He then hurriedly kicked everything under his bed, hoping Al hadn't seen his Spiderman underwear. Or his stuffed toy dragon. Hey, it had sentimental values, and even though Envy insists he throw it away ("It's a baby thing, Wrath!!"), he knew Envy knew he knew that Envy still keeps his yellow-purple spotted octopus beanie baby. Boy, if anyone knew that.... he'd have his head stuck on a pole for everyone to see.
Grabbing another set of not-so-new clothes, he walked out his room and knocked on Envy's door.
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Knock knock
Envy coughed into the blankets. Feeling dizzy, he muttered a soft groan and sighed. He wished the guy knocking on his door will just go away.
"ENVY!!! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!!!"
Envy closed his eyes and buried his head under the pillow.
"I'M GOING TO KICK THE DOOR DOWN!!!"
He muttered a few choice swear words and curled himself up tighter.
"JUST OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR, ENVY!! OR I'LL TELL!!"
Wrath stared at the white door. If the threat about telling his deepest, darkest secret (yellow spotted octopus beanie baby) didn't work, Envy would be either unconscious, dead, or...
"Damn, he must be out."
Getting the spare key from under the pot of plant near the stair way (Envy always locks his door accidentally), Wrath unlocked the door and went into the bathroom, not noticing the ball of blankets with random locks of long green hair hanging over the bed.
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Alphonse quickly changed into the clothes that Wrath gave him and surveyed himself in the body-length mirror.
He looked good. In fact, he looked very good. The sleeveless black tee hugged his slim body and the low-waist jeans hung off his... well, waist. He left the chokers and chunky bracelets alone, though. Whatever would brother say? He'd never worn anything less than a round-neck tee and knee-length shorts.
I wonder if Brother burnt the eggs...
He followed Wrath's shouting to Envy's door, and opened it.
"Wrath?"
And he nearly died. Envy's room was like a torture chamber to neat-freaks like Alphonse. The floor was littered with shirts, CDs, random bits of brown gooey stuff, a bowl of half-eaten soggy chocolate cereal, a box of pizza (extra cheese) and what was that yellow spotted octopus doing on the bed next to a ball of sheets with green stuff hanging out-
"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! WRATH!!!!"
Alphonse tackled the blankets and threw it onto the floor. He heard it emit a high-pitched yelp, and that strengthened his suspicion that Wrath had been mummified.
He tugged at the sheets, and out of the corner of his eye, saw Wrath's face poking out of the bathroom looking at him in horror and astonishment.
"Hey, Wrath! What are you doing there when you're supposed to be here.... Oh my."
Alphonse dropped the ball of fabric hastily, and the hoarse groan told him that yes, it was alive.
"Wrath!!"
The boy had already leaped out of the bathroom, pants held up, shirtless and all, and tackled the ball of blankets, all the while yelling 'Envy!!'.
Envy? Wait... that's Wrath's brother right? The one that was sitting on the black-haired guy yesterday in the cafeteria... And then Wrath touched me in gym class...
Alphonse had to duck into bathroom to get rid of the blood dripping out of his nose. Luckily Wrath was too busy tackling the sheets and holding up his pants to take any notice.
By the time Envy was out of the confines of the Strangling Sheets, dressed, and brushed his teeth, Wrath had called his sister and Alphonse had started getting used to seeing naked body parts. But didn't mean he could look and not blush like mad or start ranting about nonsensical stuff.
The doorbell ringing told the two boys that their saviour was here. Wrath rushed to the door and opened it hastily.
"Mommy!" he cried happily, and sank his face into the brunette's waist. The woman smiled prettily and stroked his head, nodding at Alphonse who greeted her with a polite 'good morning'.
She introduced herself as 'Sloth', why do these people all have freaky names??, and ushered in anther woman standing behind her that Al hadn't noticed.
"This is my twin sister, Lust." Sloth said softly (she did everything either softly or gently).
Lust leaned against the doorway, a bored look on her pale face. Her ivory arms were crossed over her rather big chest, and she was wearing a black dress with red patterns that would have looked horrible on anyone else. In fact, Alphonse would say she was the only one who looked related to Envy. Minus the hair difference, they were both pale, tall and slim, and had the same other-worldly air and beauty. Not to mention that they wore clothes with style.
She raked her dark hair up and let it fall over her shoulders.
"Where's that sick little brother of mine, then, little ones?"
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Envy groaned to himself when he heard the footsteps on the stairs. The only person Wrath will call is Sloth, and Sloth will definitely tell Lust. He wondered idly which was the lesser evil of the two. Lust just sat there and looked... well, lusty, but when she was in a talkative mood she'll start going on and on about her boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, their money, random cute boys, cosmetics, handbags, and something Envy could never understand: girl mood swings.
"Wait, so you're saying that your friend's boyfriend broke up with her. Over the phone. Then she called you. She was crying."
"Yes."
"Then you mention her favorite pop idol and she started laughing?"
"Yes."
"And when you asked about her boyfriend, she ah... 'scorned him like the dirt on her shoes'?"
"Her ex. And it's 'the dirt on her heels', not shoes."
"Oh."
Sloth, on the other hand, could nurse one to death. In fact, what started out as a common flu for Wrath became a full two week quarantine in his room. And he was only allowed to eat porridge.
Envy shuddered. He'd take his chances with Lust.
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"Wait, let me get this straight, Wrath. Sloth's your mother."
"Mm-hmm."
"But Lust's your sister."
"Yeah."
"And they're twins."
"Right."
"Am I missing something?"
"....We have two more brothers?"
"Forget I ever asked."
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Edward ran out of the house, rushed past the mail man, skidded over the road, ran back past the mail man again, leaped past the steps and locked the door. Then he sprinted past the mail man again, and left a trail of people coughing on the cloud of dust.
Shit shit shit shit I'm going to be late.
He jumped over old ladies walking their dogs (he's short, but he can jump really high), narrowly avoided being hit by cars, and caused a few strings of road accidents. Later pedestrians will report a yellow and red blur flashing by, some convinced it was an alien invasion and causing a half-hour traffic jam while they look for the evidence of Martians.
Edward slammed open the door of his classroom, panting.
"I'm... so sorry, sir.... I... woke up... late."
Mr. Tucker didn't even spare Edward a glance, his eyes firmly fixed on the wall at the very back of the classroom, a vacant smile on his face.
Edward edged around him carefully and plopped himself next to Ling.
"Late on the second day? Even Envy doesn't do that."
Edward grunted and turned around. The Flaming Pony was getting a massage by a busty brunette, the strict blonde sitting next to him was writing and shooting the brunette withering looks, the brunette was ignoring the withering looks, and everything was pretty much normal. Except...
"Where's Envy?"
Ling turned to him, squinty eyes and all, and said in all seriousness, "Why are you asking about him?"
Edward whipped around and felt a light blush on his cheeks.
"I just want to make sure I won't have a crazy sadistic demented palm tree hating me today."
Ling, if it was even possible, scrunched up his eyes even more, but said nothing. He turned back to a bunch of sticks on his table and ignored Edward.
Edward just sighed. No, not in disappointment. No way. Just... It's complicated.
He hated doing nothing. Doing nothing made him argue with himself. It was kind of silly.
You miss him.
Do not.
Do so.
Not.
Do so.
Do not!!
I say yes.
I say NO WAY!!
Denial is bad for you.
I'M NOT IN DENIAL!!
See? Silly. Just silly.
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"Envy, drink this. It's said to cure you of anything."
Yeah right, and give me diarrhea, he thought, but drank the foul-tasting liquid anyway.
He made a face and handed the cup back to Sloth.
"Now go to sleep. Sleep does wonders."
He managed a weak smile and slipped under the covers.
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Wrath handed the slip of paper to the secretary (who thankfully wasn't making out with the balding headmaster) and was sent directly to lunch. Alphonse pulled down his (Wrath's) shirt, feeling very self-conscious.
"Brother!"
"Al! You're alive!!"
"Of course I'm alive! Hey, brother, this is Wrath. Wrath, this is my brother, Edward."
Wrath glanced at Edward.
"You're sho-"
Alphonse slapped a hand on Wrath's mouth and shushed him with a look.
"You're... that rapist!! Al, get away from him!!"
Alphonse cocked an eyebrow, obviously unimpressed.
Wrath ripped Alphonse's hand from his mouth and snarled. "I did NOT touch your brother. And I am no rapist. Heck, you can't even find your way to the nearest mall!"
Alphonse cleared his throat. "Actually, he found the grocery store."
Edward scratched the back of his head. "That's because you were to busy unpacking and I was hungry, Al."
Alphonse groaned and rested his head on Wrath's shoulder. "I was trying to help you, brother."
"Oh."
Wrath rolled his eyes and tugged at Alphonse's arm. "C'mon, let's go, else the seats will all be taken."
Alphonse nodded and waved a quick goodbye to Edward.
He watched as the two made their way to the line (standing disturbingly close) and saw Anne talking to a tall, scary looking guy with short white hair who looked pretty comical balancing two trays of 'cafeteria food'.
He waved them over and Anne introduced the man.
"Ed, this is Scar. He wasn't here yesterday because he had to help his brother bomb a small village in East Africa."
Edward couldn't tell if she was joking or not.
Scar took off his sunglasses, and Edward noticed with a jolt that his eyes were red. Really red. Strangely natural-looking red.
Scar stood a good one and a half head taller than the two of them, and he looked them with a critical eye. Edward had a funny feeling in his gut that told him this guy is very, very, very scary.
"You're just a little bit shorter than him, Anne." he said, in his deep rumbling voice.
Anne looked very unhappy. Not to mention she had this dark aura surrounding her and Edward could see her infamous chopsticks gripped tightly in her hands.
Edward just felt grateful that Ling had spotted them (or rather, Scar's back) and was quickly making his way to them.
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"Oh no, Lust! I've got this really important meeting, but I can't possibly leave Envy here! He's sick!!"
Lust cocked one eyebrow and stared impassively at the distressed Sloth.
"Yes, Sloth. We know he's sick. Go to work."
"But- but!! No one will give him his medicine, no one will take care of him- and, and-"
Lust examined her fingernails, scarily long and sharp and painted black.
"Sloth, I will take care of him. Now go."
Sloth gave Lust a grateful glance and rushed out the door.
Envy frowned, and turned around in his sleep, bringing his blankets closer.
Lust just hugged her herself (does no one notice that's her favorite pose?) and settled down on the couch, eyes closed.
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There! Done. Wow wow, 7 pages. That lots. :D To make up for the lateness. (Again) Next chapter: the idea that hatched this fic! It includes tomato soup. XD
TTFN~
