Author's Note: Hello to all my lovely readers! How've you all been? I've written my fourth chapter, hope you all enjoy it. Sorry it's taken me so long! Can I just say a massive thanks to everyone who has favourite, followed, reviewed or read this story. You guys have really boosted my confidence as a writer, and I will forever be grateful to you all.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character's from the Hunger Games. They all belong to Suzanne Collins.
That's the last thing I hear before I'm out the door and running. To where, I don't know. I just want to be somewhere else, anywhere else other than here.
Chapter 4
I burst into my bedroom, and collapse on the bed. I feel tears pricking my eyes but I wipe them away furiously. I will not cry, and allow Haymitch the pleasure in knowing he's upset me. I realise I should probably check on Peeta again but I can't stand the embarrassment. It was horrible! I tell myself to calm down, hope that they'll forget it soon enough. Thankfully, we will be arriving back in District 12 soon. But that presents its own set of problems. I can't just sit here and figure it out in my head. It won't make sense to me because my thoughts will jumble into one another. I have a tendency to do that. I decide to write my thoughts down, so I head over to my desk and dig out some paper and a pen.
My mother.
I know I had a strained relationship with her before the games. After my experiences, I know that life is precious, and even though she abandoned me and Prim when we needed her most, she is still important to me. She's my mum, and I love her, however forced it may be. I resolve to be more involved in my mother's life, and let her into mine.
Our house in the Seam.
Now I'm a Victor, I'll have to move out to Victor's Village. I don't exactly want to move there, it feels wrong. However, my mother and Prim deserve better, so I'll move for their sakes.
Gale.
Wait, what? Why did I write Gale down? I have no problem with Gale. I must be going insane! I get up from the desk and crumple the piece of paper up until it is a tight ball curled into my fist. In a panic, I rush to the window and open it, throwing the paper out of the train. There, it's gone. I don't ever have to think of it ever again.
I sink down onto the bed and begin twiddling my thumbs, thinking of something to do. I look over at the mirror, and I see I'm still wearing my dirty clothes and Peeta's t-shirt. I decide, just to pass the time, I'm going to look for some clothes. I know, me thinking about clothes? But I'm bored and it'll pass the time. I pick up the tablet at the side of my bed and tap a few buttons. Within seconds, calming folk music fills the room. It makes me smile and I think of home. I can't wait! I've missed it so much. Just the thought of the bustling hob, the market square on a warm summer's day, the miners whistling their way to work fills me with so much pride and happiness. Thinking about this makes District 12 seem like a nice place to live, if you forget about the poverty and the fear. After pressing a few more buttons I find a catalogue that shows me what clothes I've got in my closet. I'd go and look through it myself but it's far too big and complicated for me to understand. For once in my life, I'll allow Capitol technology to help me. After a few minutes spent flipping through I decide on a pair of black leggings, a forest-green sweater and some brown leather hunter's boots. It tells me exactly where to find them, and I change in the wardrobe. I brush my hair until it's free of its tangles, and look in the mirror. I'm pretty proud of the results. I actually look nice. At home, I couldn't care less about clothes or fashion or any of that girly stuff. I don't know what it is, I just have this feeling that I need to look nice. I pick up the dirty clothes off the floor and fold them up and place them on my bed. But I can't bring myself to leave Peeta's shirt. I don't know what it is; I just can't bring myself to leave it. So I dig out my small bag that contained small items from the Capitol I wanted to take home with me. As you can imagine, there wasn't much. It was just a silk scarf for my mother, some new hair ribbons for Prim and some chocolate. I pick the shirt up and bring it to my nose. The scent instantly calms me. It's so…words can't describe it. The shirt smells of freshly baked goods, tinged with Peeta's natural scent. It's so relaxing. I guess I'm used to the smell because even in the arena he constantly smelt like this, despite being covered in blood and mud and who knows what else. I smile a little then stuff the t-shirt into the very bottom of the bag.
Just then, I hear a knock at the door. I head to the other side of the room and open it, fixing a fake smile on my face for whoever's behind the door. Cinna stands there, looking a little awkward.
"Hello Katniss. I just came to say that we will be in District 12 in two hours so you need to get ready. The prep team will be here in five minutes, and then I'll come in with your outfit. Portia and I figured that you shouldn't be in very fancy dress, you need to show the people that you are a Victor, but you can still relate to them." He says, and then looks me up and down, a look of disbelief on his face. I can feel myself begin to flush scarlet. Is my outfit really that bad?
"Actually, what you're wearing will be perfect," he says. "I was thinking of dressing you in jumper anyway…" He muses. Wow. I picked an outfit that Cinna liked and would dress me in? His creative mind must be rubbing off on me! Then the prep team rush into my room, nearly trampling Cinna in their haste to get into the room.
"It's been five minutes!" Octavia says excitedly.
"You promised we would only have to wait five minutes Cinna!" Flavius adds. Venia is standing among them, smiling but rolling her eyes a little at her team mate's excitement.
"Calm down guys." She tells them. "Katniss was not going to disappear in the few minutes we had to wait!" Then she tugs my arm towards the bathroom.
"Come on honey, we have one hour to prepare you and it's not nearly long enough!" I sigh inwardly. A whole hour I'm going to have to sit perfectly still and listen to their chatter. I look over at Cinna, who still has a slight smile on his face. He mouths 'good luck' at me. I smile in return before I'm in the bathroom. I'm sat down at the chair by the dresser, while Octavia rummages through cupboards searching for certain products. I hear her mumbling to herself that they've run out of Capitol Factor Foundation, and that as soon as she gets back she must order some more. Flavius is laying out what looks like torture instruments, but I know they're to be used in my hair. Venia is studying my nails, and searching through her case for the perfect shade of nail varnish that will go with my jumper. Then all of a sudden, it's like a lightbulb goes off in their head, and they converge on me and start their work.
What feels like half an hour later, but is probably only 10 minutes, I don't even recognise my face. Apparently it's necessary to make my face disappear, but then repaint it to look like a more beautiful me. I roll my eyes. That's so typical of the Capitol. Still, I don't complain. I know my prep team and Cinna do make me appeal to the crowd. They make me beautiful. They make me out to be this strong inspiration to everyone in Panem. I'm not really. I'm just an average seventeen year old girl who has just been thrown into this mess and doesn't know how to escape. The prep team chatter away about their lives in the Capitol, about the latest fashion trends and some celebrity there called Catrina Cartier. She's supposedly the most famous woman in Panem. Well, I've never heard of her. I bet she's just one of the fake Capitol women, probably surgically altered to almost unrecognisable. They discuss her latest film; it's expected to be the biggest film of this year. It comes out in a few months I think when Peeta and I will be on the Victory tour. Oh god. That thought scares me. I shake it away. I shouldn't be thinking like that. I should be focused on my victory, on home, on the thoughts of my little sister hugging me tight.
"Katniss…" Octavia asks, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "This morning, when you were wearing Peeta's shirt, did you stay with him last night?" Oh gosh. I can't tell the truth and I daren't lie. But then I remember about Haymitch's words about making people believe our story. Chances are they'll be interviewed and they'll be able to dish the gossip. Then people will have to believe our story. They'll think it's more real because we're away from the cameras. This moment could be the make or break of everything.
"Katniss?" Octavia prompts. I blink and realise I've been lost in thought. Venia frowns.
"Leave the girl alone Octavia. I guess there are just too many good memories." She smiles. I turn to Octavia and grab her wrist.
"No, I'm happy to answer. You were right Venia; there are too many good memories. I know I can trust you guys though. You are very important and special friends to me," I lie. Flavius gives a little squeak at the thought of being my friend. I know they're all thinking I slept with Peeta, and I need to set them on the right track without telling too much of the truth.
"We didn't want to be alone. We need each other, I always feel better when he's around. But we didn't do any more than sleep, I promise. It was just so nice, being wrapped up in his arms." Their smiles grow so wide, I think their faces will split any minute.
"Aww that's so cute!" Octavia exclaims. "No wonder people love you, it's impossible not to!" Then she gets serious. "Thank you for telling me that Katniss, I feel very grateful and honoured to be your friend." There's real sincerity in her voice as she squeezes my hand gratefully. I gulp a little. She trusted me and I lied to her. To all of them. But it's important; a voice in my head reminds me. It's necessary. Eventually, the prep team step away from me and lead me into the bedroom.
"We're finished!" They chime. I look at myself in the mirror. I look like how I was in the chariot ride. Recognisable, but more beautiful. My lips are painted a pale pink; a light blush litters my cheeks. As usual, my mockingjay pin is pinned to my scarf. They've enhanced my looks to compliment my outfit; it could not be more perfect. They smile and leave as Cinna enters.
"Beautiful," he smiles. "Now go out there and show them what you are made of Girl on Fire." I'm just about to leave when I spot the bag lying on my bed. I pick it up and give it to Cinna. I know I can trust him.
"Can you please make sure this is sent to my house in Victor's Village? It has some important gifts in there." Cinna nods.
"See you later," I hear him say as I leave the room. I head towards the front train compartment. A few people are there. As I enter the compartment, Effie sends a huge smile my way. She explains the schedule for the day, as I nod but don't take any of it in. I'm staring outside the window as we are in woodland. The woods that surround District 12. I know in this high speed train, we will be there in about ten minutes, maybe less. I look around the room. Haymitch is there, looking a hell of a lot more sober than he did a few hours ago. He has a clean shaven appearance, but I know that won't last. At the first opportunity he will get wasted. I head over to the door and stand beside it looking out of the window for the first sight of home. I hear a noise beside me and notice Peeta is now stood next to me. From the first glance at him, you would never have imagined that he was in such a state last night.
"Hello Katniss," he whispers, an embarrassed look on his face.
"Hello Peeta." I replied. He keeps opening and shutting his mouth, like he wants to say something, but he is struggling to get the words out.
"Thank you…" He mumbles.
"For what?" I ask. I'm a bit confused as to what he's referring to.
"For looking after me. I'm so ashamed of myself Katniss! It was stupid and irresponsible and I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I promise it won't happen again." Now I understand. But he has nothing to be sorry for and I tell him so.
"It was my fault you did that to yourself. Do not ever blame yourself." I tell him. I will not budge on this point. I accepted the fact last night, he has to to.
"Katniss, I'm not sure if this happened or not, but did you stay with me last night? I kind of remember something like you stroked my hair? And you…kissed my forehead?" I'm blushing now. He remembers all that? Maybe he wasn't as drunk as I assumed he was. But I know I have to tell him the truth.
"I did," I tell him honestly. "You've helped me more times than I can remember; I felt the debt needed to be repaid." He looks hurt and angry now. That hurts, I wanted to make it better but I've just made it worse. Why do I always do that?
"You did all this because you didn't want to owe me? That's wrong Katniss, on so many levels. I thought you did this because you care about my safety, not because you feel you owe me something. After all we've been through, you don't have the slightest bit of respect for me? I can't cope with this. I'll play my part for the cameras Katniss, but other than that I'm so done. You need to think about your actions, and how they hurt other people. Please just leave me alone." He says harshly. I stagger back a little at his words. That comment cut me to the core. I tried to protect him and… I feel terrible. What have I done? Then I hear Effie's voice shouting over everyone,
"30 seconds till we're in District 12! Places everyone!" Peeta shuffles over to me and places his arm around my waist and fixes a smile on his face. I do the same. Then I feel the train stop and the doors slowly slide open.
Author's Note: And there's the fourth chapter, hope you enjoyed it! Please remember to review, it really helps me to improve on my writing! I know Peeta seems a bit harsh right now, but I promise it won't last. I looked today and I can hardly believe this story has over 850 views! Wow, I literally can't believe it, thank you so so so much! See y'all back in District 12!
Love,
Mjenney21 xxx
