I walk around the briefing table; pouring at everyone's order into three white china mugs, before taking my seat on Toshiko's right.

"So down to business." she starts, glancing down at the stack of papers that she has in front of her..

"Pc Andy would like someone to come down to the station today and converse with the new influx of Pc's, you know give them a very brief overview of how to deal with things that are. . .um out of the ordinary, as he puts it."

We all look expectantly at Gwen.

"What? Why do you guys always expect me to deal with Andy and the police" she asks with a frown; but it quickly turns to huff of acceptance. "All right I'll make my way over after the meeting. I guess it would be good to see him again."

"okay" Tosh continues looking further down the piece of paper. "right well the rest of us will be dealing with the bi-monthly reports that we need to send to Unit. . .can you all please have them on my desk by five, they have been breathing down my neck so to speak since, our change in leadership, so we have to do things by the book, and we can all leave at a descent hour tonight."

"Really? I thought it was my turn to baby-sit the rift this evening." Owen asks, with a distinct sense of hope in his voice.

"I have created a hub detection system that will alert the relevant team member if there is any problems; so it means that none of us have to do anymore all-nighters seeing as we are a man down' it is very impractical for one of us to stay every night in the hub."

"Jack always stayed here. . every night " Gwen remarks almost acidly.

"Well he was a very special case" Tosh admits coolly.

"but he obviously did it for a reason. .I mean anything could happen" Gwen persists.

"Well how about you move in here then Gwen. . I'm sure Rhys would understand if you told him that you need to spend every night in the hub; because that's what Jack would have wanted." Owen states angrily.

Gwen merely shakes her head.

"I didn't mean that. . I mean I just think that we should keep everything just the way it is, for when jack comes back"

The room becomes very silent as all eyes seem to descend upon me.

"I think. . .Gwen that we have to take into account the possibility that Jack. . .well that Jack may not be coming back" Tosh stutters her way through the sentence.

I don't know why this outburst effects them so much; the room becomes deftly silent as no one dares speak anymore.

I mean why would Jack come back. . . .we were clearly not enough for him to stay, I wasn't enough for him to stay.

So why would he return?

"Right of course of course. Well if there isn't anything else. . .I should go and meet Andy. ." Gwen makes to stand up and leave.

"Wait before you go. . . I was wondering of I could ask all of you for a favour?" I query, stopping Gwen from leaving.

"Well. ." I start, feeling apprehension claw itself into my voice. "Well. . I'm moving some of my furniture over to a. . a friends house tonight, and I was wondering if you guys would be up for helping me move in. . .I mean. ." I bluster the words and I can feel the tell-tell blush begin to rise. "What I mean to say is. . Well I'm moving in with someone. . Special A male. . Friend for want of a better word. . And well I. . we would like it if you could help us move in. . .ah together."

I hate the way my voice sounds. I hate the words I am speaking. I shouldn't be telling them this. . It's private. confidential.

"Wow tea boy's going all domestic on us.. . Yeah count me in. I want to see who this guy is. . .and what's wrong with him." Owen responds, draining his mug, before leaving the room to carry on with the reports.

"I'll be there too. Rhys and I will come round to your apartment if you leave your address out. .. About sevenish?" Gwen asks, waiting for me to scribble the address on her hand before departing.

"Oh wow Ianto. . I didn't know you had a. . .male friend" Tosh starts, speaking at extreme speed; a clear sign that she is lying.

"I know that you found out about James Toshiko" I respond with a wry smile

" I. .I don't know what you're talking about.. ."

"I heard you. . Yesterday in the SUV. . James French 29, a writer . ." I start to repeat, word perfect the conversation.

At least my eidetic memory still has some uses.

"okay okay . .. I may have done some investigating. . But well I just wanted to make sure you're okay. . . You know after what happened between me and. . .Mary. . I just."

"I know" I relent. "I completely understand. . It's. . sweet. . I think. But you need to know.. He's a good guy. He just needs some piece of my life. He needs to know something about me. So I thought maybe if my work friends were to help me move some of my stuff in. . he could get to know you guys. ."

Tosh nods; with a wicked smile lighting up her face.

"Of course standard non disclosure?" she asks; to which I nod.

"Yeah he thinks I'm a civil servant. Not that he really believes it. . .so we may have to say that we are. . Um high level civil servants. . You know. . But for the time being at least he is willing to let me have my secrets."

I know that Tosh wants to hug me; I can feel her arms itch to grab me in some kind of bonding exercise; I internally wince at the thought, but I give her a smile to let her know that it's okay to approach.

"I'm so pleased for you Ianto" she gushes, as I stand stoically allowing her arms to wrap around me.

"After. . .well you've had a hard year. . .what with Lisa. . . And then Jack's disappearance. . I'm glad you've found someone…. You deserve happiness"

I nod sympathetically before giving her the same direction to my apartment that I gave Gwen; before bidding a hasty retreat.

I know Tosh doesn't mean it, but a small part of me wants to scream at her. How dare she place Jack in the same category as Lisa. My Lisa. . . She was my life. She was everything to me.

Jack.

Jack was just a passing piece of entertainment. I was a part time shag. . A source of convenience; nothing more.

And James. . . . Well I don't really know what he is. . . He's

Well he's gorgeous, with turquoise eyes, and thick long lashes, that he can beat to make me melt. A strong jaw line and pouting lips. Too thick eyebrows, that furrow when he's confused or tired.

He hates his arms and legs; he thinks they're too hairy, but I like to twist my fingers through them, and the soft tickle of the hair against my own skin.

I love how supple his fingers are, and dexterous. Years handcuffed to a computer; his fingers plucking out one hundred and twenty words a minute. We joke that he's a sectary and I'm a tea boy.

When in truth he's much more than that.

Even though his job could turn him into a couch potato; he's strong and toned. I watch the muscles slide and contract against the skin.

And it's not just his body. He's clever and funny; wickedly so. He doesn't pander to my brooding silences. We can be serious; but the aggravating tension and moody silences, that marked my. . .time with Jack is thankfully absence. . we're more of a partnership than I've been in any of my other relationships. . Even with Lisa I let her have the lion-share of the responsibilities; and decisions. What couch covers; curtains to buy to go in our new flat.. I understood that control was something Lisa craved, and because I loved her. . .I let her have it. To be honest I think she mothered me a lot. . After all even Lisa did not realise what I was capable of. She along, with ninety five percent of the employees at Torchwood one, thought I was just a junior archivist. . A errand boy.

If they only knew.

I shake my head of my thoughts as I walk further down into the archives; my own bi-monthly report already on top of the pile on Tosh's newly claimed desk.

The day both seems to drag, and go too quickly. Even in the archives I can't help but check the dilapidated pocket watch; one of the few things I have left from my father, every ten minutes.

I let out a long breath, as I try and make myself calm down. It's nothing. . It's nothing at all. . .I am just moving some furniture over. .

The dark leather recliner; the first thing that Lisa and I bought for our new apartment together.

The mahogany writing desk that's been in my father's side of the family for years. To be honest I only use it to hold the mammoth amounts of mail I seem to acquire; but I think James will appreciate it.

A trouser press. such a silly thing to be essential part of my routine, but I'd be lost without it, I couldn't believe it when James said he didn't have one.

I will keep the apartment; just in case, and it's a good a place as any to house all the stuff that I do not bring with me.

All I'll have to do is call up and cancel the paper and milk deliveries.

This helps. Going through things like a checklist. I've done it since I could remember. Even as a child; if Rhiannon had pissed me off; or if there was a bully at school that would not stop picking on me;. Instead of screaming; shouting I would shut myself off, and categorize things. One particularly dark weekend ma came back to find her whole wardrobe had been totally turned over, and categorized by colour; and occasion. I don't know how she never guessed about my leanings toward homosexuality.

I manage to make it through the day without hyperventilating, and happily, Tosh, Owen and I manage to make it out of the hub by half past five. Well there's a first time for everything I suppose.

"So when do you want us to come over?" Owen asks, as he digs into his leather jacket for the keys to

His motorbike.

"Say sevenish?"

"Sounds good. Can't wait" he replies sarcastically before walking through the circular door.

"It'll be fine Ianto. . I'll make sure that he behaves himself." Tosh promises; "see you soon."

Good ninety minutes to prepare James for Torchwood. . A piece of cake.