Woohoo Internet is back on though, its very slow because it's the only version I can afford with all my lovely new bills. First apartment, yay! I'm currently helping out with some research so 90% of my life is dedicated to that and reading papers . . But I'll do my best to update whenever possible.

Be warned. All bets are off. This story's gonna get buck wild. If you don't like yaoi, suicide, death, morbid shit, insanity, blah blah blah, you've been warned. Find the back space button.

Lastly, I try very hard not to write stories for the reviews, but I can't help but get that warm fuzzy feeling when I see that someone, somewhere has enjoyed the mind vomit that is/are my stories. Moral? I love to hear from you just as much as you love to hear from me.

Less than three TM29

CHAPTER 4

Baby, did you forget to take your meds?

The first thing Kuwabara was aware of was the sharp pain between his eyes and a steady panting breathing. He couldn't see anything. He waited for his vision to clear, aware that his eyes were open by his dazed blinking. Although the pitch black wouldn't leave his vision, the panting became more audible. The numbness of his unconsciousness began to leak out his body as if pulled through a sieve.

As the numbness dissipate and sensations returned, he could feel that his body was lubricated by a cold sweat, as warm slick skin rubbed vigorously against his abdomen. He finally realized that the panting was in rhythm with an unmistakable thrusting inside of him. He felt his muscles expand and contract allowing a phallic object entrance over and over again.

My God. He had awoken to sex with Urameshi.

Kuwabara could not suppress the groan of panic that slipped passed his lips. His partner, obviously mistaking his auricular sound for pleasure, kissed, licked and bit up his torso. Too panicked to be embarrassed, Kuwabara realized his legs were wrapped around Urameshi's slim hips. He also realized to his mortification, that he was completely erect, and already dripping with precum. It wasn't helping that the body beneath his added pressure and friction to the underside of his cock as it thrusted, not allowing his arousal to deplete. He removed his hands from Urameshi's petite waist and reached on either side of him. He grasped the sheets of his bed in clenched fists, gasping in a deep breath.

The panting came in shorter intervals. Kuwabara tried as he may, could not ignore the pleasure reminiscent of each thrust. He found his body unconsciously arching allowing deeper entrance. He felt the reverberations of his partner's chest as he moaned.

This was his best friend. He was fucking his best friend.

Kuwabara feeling his way in the dark found locked arms on either side of him. He followed the length of the arms to broad muscular shoulders. The lips of his partner leaned in again, kissing his chest to encourage the sudden touching of his body and thrusted faster. Kuwabara's entrance tightened in pleasure and surprise eliciting a moan from his partner. He felt the body pick up the pace even more. Kuwabara, lost in the moment, did not realize that the torso of his partner was too small to be Urameshi, that the lips never passed a certain height on his chest.

His body shivered, his orgasm was coming fast. He edged closer and closer to that delicious plunge. And off he went. Finally he was riding the wave of his pleasure; he felt his seed spread between the two rubbing stomachs.

He finished, as his partner's breath became ragged, it started shaking-

"Ka,…Kazuma!"

Kuwabara froze. His eyes widened in the darkness. That was not Urameshi's voice.

Before Kuwabara could utter his name in dismantling shock, a hand pulled Kuwabara's neck down forcefully to usher him into a passionate kiss. He felt Hiei's lips, covered in a light sweat, ravish his in the throngs of his climax.

Hiei…Hiei… Oh my god, Hiei. I am fucking Hiei. I just fucked Hiei. Scratch that- Hiei just fucked me. And…and… kissed me like a lover?

Kuwabara felt the smaller male collapse against his chest, breathing heavily. His first instinct was to push him off the bed and onto his ass- to hell with the consequences. He knew that the worst thing he could do right now was explode at Hiei when he had obviously been enjoying himself. He would look… well, he would look insane.

He inhaled deeply, trying to maintain composure over the situation, but almost lost it when he felt Hiei's arms wrap around his torso and bury his face deep into his chest. He exhaled and reached down to gently push away Hiei's arms from his body. Though he knew who lay on top of him the further evidence of Hiei's voice startled him when it broke the silence of the dark.

"Lay with me a moment, Kazuma," it was spoken as more of a request than a demand. "I enjoy listening to your heartbeat."

First he's affectionate, now he's whispering sweet nothings? Good lord, what the hell was going on?

"You're heart is still racing. Are you alright?"

Concern.

From Hiei.

I really didn't know how many more surprises I can take lately.

"I would like to get up for a bit, Hiei," without further question Hiei moved aside allowing Kuwabara to rise. Upon standing he could feel Hiei's eyes caressing his naked body. He shivered. Easily finding his way around his room in the dark, pulled a pair of boxers out of his top drawer as quickly as possible and exited the room, deploying a barrier between himself and the lusting Hiei with his wandering eyes.

Now he knew why Shizuru never cared about the health hazards of smoking. He needed a fucking cigarette. As the intensity of situation bore down on him he allowed himself some morbid if not pragmatic thinking. Shizuru must have always known she would die young, so why not indulge with something to calm the nerves- and by god, did the Kuwabaras need something to calm their nerves. He was so shaken he would have eaten the box of cigarettes if it would relax him.

Once the door was closed behind him, Kuwabara stepped ungracefully into his boxers. With disgust Kuwabara realized the ones he had chosen in the dark had been none other than the pair Urameshi had been sporting. Moving half naked into the kitchen, Kuwabara reached for the draw that held Shizuru's cigarette stash for when she visited.

Lighting it he inhaled deeply. Kuwabara held his face in his hand with the cigarette while the other arm crossed his chest. Exhaling he opened his eyes to see a red headed teen standing not two feet in front of him.

At first Kuwabara was surprised, then he was furious.

"Get. Out." He hissed, lingering smoke leaking from between his teeth. The boy just stared at him.

"I have too many things to worry about without you being here. Like how much time has elapsed and why the fuck there's a naked man in my room."

"He's sad. And lonely," Little Kuwabara said, as if explaining to a child.

He's relentless. This sick ideology he carries, it's immutable. And worse he's a child; he'll never understand why it's wrong.

He did the only thing he could think to do, he took another drag. Kuwabara heard his bedroom door creak. Without exhaling the first, Kuwabara took another drag. Hiei came into the room wearing his signature black pants, but completely shirtless. He leaned against the cabinets adjacent to Kuwabara, and asked,

"Who were you talking to?" without even thinking Kuwabara answered.

"Myself," then laughed at the bitter irony of the statement. Hiei half-smiling remarked,

"Do you often talk to yourself?"

"Only when I'm losing my mind," He answered without looking at Hiei. Hiei thought Kuwabara was staring into space, but in fact he was still looking at his younger self.

"If my being here, and our meetings are causing you distress, we can stop them at anytime."

Meetings plural?

Kuwabara had to suppress a groan. However, when he glanced back at Hiei, he was floored. The fire demon's callous demeanor had dissipated. His eyebrows were raised in slightly worried fashion, and his slight unconscious frown spoke a thousand words- don't leave me, stay with me, be with me, love me.

A sharp pain struck the center of his forehead. Kuwabara immediately raised his cigarette holding hand to rub the spot, he hissed and grimaced at the pain. Then Kuwabara felt longing. He felt a longing so deep and bottomless, he groaned in agony. Kuwabara's psychic abilities were again sequestering the surrounding emotions and making them palpable.

My god, is this how Hiei feels all the time?

"…Kazuma?" Remembering how the feelings amplified when Urameshi touched him, he told Hiei to remain still. He really didn't think he could stand to have Hiei's feelings amplified; he already felt smothered with hopelessness and self disgust. There was no light left in the world for him. Kuwabara backed away from Hiei still holding his head in his hands.

"Kazuma, tell me what's wrong," Hiei demanded forcefully, never liking to be out of control.

"I'm alright," He answered. "Just a bit of psychic overload," Why lie? Another wave of emotions bore down on Kuwabara like thousands of pounds of pressure. This was true anguish. Longing, desperation, desolation.

"Oh, Hiei," he moaned, helplessly. He cried the name out of pity, but Hiei took it as a cry for assistance.

"What Kazuma? What can I do?"

Kuwabara glanced up, behind Hiei's bent and worried form, was his younger counterpart, not looking smug or condescending at him, but with pity and remorse at Hiei.

Kuwabara knew what Hiei could do to help. He could stop hurting so deeply inside. Was it such a bad thing to give him comfort? To love him? It couldn't be; anything that could diminish that crippling despair had to be good. As if on cue, once Kuwabara made his mental decision to placate Hiei, his headache disappeared. He went to glare accusingly at his younger self, but he had also gone. The strong feeling of being manipulated left a sour taste in his mouth. He collapsed down onto the linoleum floor and leaned against the lower cabinets.

"Kazuma-"Hiei began as he trying to disguise his concern as anger.

"- you can come sit with me, Hiei. Let me hold you." Hiei looked completely taken aback. A light blush crept across his cheeks. However, Hiei's surprise was nothing to Kuwabara's when he actually complied and sat between Kuwabara's outstretched legs, leaning back against his chest.

They sat like that for an hour, before Hiei finally rose, pulling Kuwabara to his feet, and once again leading him towards the bedroom. This time, Kuwabara was conscious for the entire thing.