Disclaimer: I'm not Richelle Mead so I don't own anything from her books. Just the stuff I make up.

Okay well here is chapter four. I was planning on posting it a lot earlier but I ended up adding a section on to it. So read and enjoy.

4

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't believe it. I don't believe it. I won't believe it. Rose was dead. My Roza was dead. I would never get to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her ever again. What I would do just to see her one more time.

"Belikov!" someone shouted after me.

I didn't stop. I just kept walking.

Hurried footsteps told me that Alberta was running to catch up to me. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop.

"Belikov explain your self," she asked pointedly.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said looking over her shoulder.

"From what I've heard you are taking an 'extended vacation' since when do you take vacation?"

"I'm going to see my mother," I lied.

Alberta's nostrils flared, "I am not going to get in to the information I've learned these last few days. But Dimitri Rose is gone. You're going to have to move on. She did a great thing and she should be remembered for it yes, but she's gone you can't torture yourself over it."

I threw my arms in the air, "There are some things that take time to get over Alberta."

I didn't wait for her to comment I went straight to my room to retrieve my duffel. Then I set out towards the parking lot that my borrowed car was at.


Why does my head hurt? I'm dead. My head shouldn't hurt. Nothing should hurt. So why in the hell does my head hurt?


"Lissa let me in," called Christian from outside my door.

I didn't want to get up from my bed but I did anyways. Christian was standing there with a paper bag. I tried to smile at him as he walked pass me.

I shut the door and locked it and went back to my bed. "What's in the bag?"

"A gift from Adrian," he said taking the bottle out.

I grimaced and took it from him.

"Is this blood wine?" I asked him reading the label.

"Probably," he said sitting with me on the bed.

"This stuff is expensive."

"I don't think Adrian really cares about pricings, he looks terrible."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Oh and Dimitri left."

"What!" I asked sitting up.

"Yeah he took vacation and just packed up and left."

"When's he coming back?" I asked.

"I don't think he is," Christian said opening the bottle of wine.

"He has too, he's my Guardian."

"I don't think he's going to be anymore. I mean I saw him as he was leaving. He didn't look good."

I still couldn't believe it. Rose and Dimitri, how did I miss that?

"I still can't believe Dimitri and Rose," Christian said taking a swig of the wine. "This stuff is good," he mumbled.

I didn't say anything. I had already examined everything. And now I noticed. Rose had always acted different around Dimitri, like she was always thinking if Dimitri would approve but that's all I ever thought of. I never would have guessed they were involved.

I took the bottle from Christian and tried it for my self. It was good. The blood mixed perfectly with the wine.

"She knew I was in her head," I whispered.

We hadn't spoken about what I had seen, because mostly no one wanted to believe it. I sure didn't want to believe it.

"I'm sorry," he said trying to come up with something to say.

"I don't understand. She didn't die she just went through that arch thing."

"From what Adrian said that arch was the gate to the shadow land or whatever."

I didn't want to think about it.

"What's bad is that I didn't believe Rose when she started saying she was seeing ghosts. Then when I was in her head I saw Mason. He looked pale but he was there."

"I didn't want to believe her either, but I think I might have. I mean I haven't seen anything that would make Rose look the way she did that day Stan attacked us."

Thinking of Rose hurt. I took another drink from the bottle.

I don't know when but sometime after Christian and I finished off the wine we fell asleep.

Life just seemed dull without Rose. Christian hadn't been caught leaving my room at three in the morning so that was a big relief.

School started back a week after the attack, Kirova wanted to try and get things back to normal.

But nothing would ever be normal again, because now the Moroi had fought with the dhampirs. There had been a lot of talk about what would be said to the Royal Court. In the end Kirova just told the Queen what had happened, she was not happy.

Christian though was happy. He had spoken with the Guardians about getting a tattoo on the back of his neck like the rest of the Guardians that had fought. At first they didn't take him seriously. Then Rose's mom said that the Moroi who fought had every right. So Christian had a star that I couldn't remember the name of. No one could really keep count on who killed how many so all the fighters had been given the mark that meant they had been in a battle and killed many.

We were walking hand in hand towards our next class. Eddie was following us as usual. The field exam had been technically called off but the novices still had to follow their assigned Moroi because now the threat of actual attacks was high.

So I guessed that meant that everyone technically passed.

The ones that were still alive anyways.

There had been a huge memorial a few days after the attack. A giant piece of marble was now in the main quad. It had every person's name that had been lost etched in to it with a little note about them.

We had to walk pass it so as usual we stopped. There were a lot of names. But my eyes soon found the one I searched for.

Rosemarie Hathaway

No words could describe what she did. She sacrificed herself to save the ones she loved.

No matter how many times I would read that it would always make me cry.


I'm dead so why do I hurt. I must be in Hell. I didn't do anything to get in to Heaven.

Rose seriously?

I froze. Who was talking? I wasn't talking because I'm dead. Dead people aren't supposed to talk.

"Rose, open your eyes," the voice said again. I recognized the voice but I wasn't opening my eyes.

That's when I noticed something. My head hurt yeah but that's all that hurt, my arms no longer hurt, my legs were no longer sore, and the nauseous feeling was gone. And I was lying in grass.

Why was I lying in grass? I was in that Strigoi infested hellhole. Now I'm in grass. What the hell is going on?

"Rose, come on," said another voice.

I peeked through my lashes. A pale face was hovering over me. And more and more faces appeared.

"About time Rose," the figure said holding out his hand.

I opened my eyes all the way to see Mason.

Out of habit I grabbed his hand and he pulled me to my feet. As soon as I stood up my headache went away. I wasn't going to complain.

I looked around. This place looked familiar. It was from the dream I had with Adrian.

"Where are we?" I asked timidly looking at all of the pale faces surrounding me.

Mason smiled, "I don't know what you would call this place. It's just a big meadow."

"I can see that," I said snippily.

Mason smiled, "I was wondering when the old Rose would make a comeback.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm dead right?" I asked.

A few of the faces, people, around us must have lost interest because they walked away. Others stayed beside us and I recognized one of them. They were the Guardians that had died in the caves.

Mason tightened his grip on my hand, "Sort of."

"How can I be sort of dead?"

"I have no idea. I think it has something to do with the fact that when someone dies their spirit separates from their body. Your spirit is still in your body because you didn't physically die."

"But I already died before," I said thinking of the car accident.

"Yeah and then your spirit went back."

"I don't understand, so I'm not dead?"

"I guess not I don't know."

I sat back down. "I don't want to think about that."

"Okay," he said sitting down in front of me.

The Guardians that had stayed around either walked off together or sat down close to us. I eyed them curiously.

"So do you know where we are?" I asked again.

"Nope not a clue, I just know this place is awesome."

"How?" I asked seriously doubting that anyplace without Dimitri could be awesome.

"Whenever you want something all you have to do is imagine it and it appears."

I stared at him.

"Don't look at me like that," he said narrowing his eyes.

"Like what?"

"Like you don't believe me, I mean come on you see ghosts and you don't believe in a bit more magic?"

"I don't believe things in till I see them," I pointed out.

"Fine then," he said looking directly at me.

He just looked at me for more time than I was comfortable with.

"What are you looking at?" I finally asked getting annoyed.

He smiled, "Just imagining you in an outfit that I've been dying to see you in."

I glared at him and then looked down at myself.

"What the hell Mason?" I said looking down at my self.

The ratty clothes I had been wearing had disappeared. Now I was in an outfit that I would have died for in the real world but never would have worn because of the rumors it would immediately spread.

"What do you think?" Mason asked looking pleased with him self.

"I think I look like a Gothic wannabe."

"I think you look hot," he said giving me his perfect smile.

I wrinkled my nose. "It's not my style."

"Sure it is you look amazing in it."

I couldn't help but look down again. Mason must be having some sick fantasies about me.

The outfit was mostly black. The only color was the purple corset top. The top or whatever you wanted to call it had this little black jacket thing that was actually really cute. I was actually surprised that it was really comfortable, even the black boots.

"Where in the hell did you even come up with this?" I asked him standing up.

"Van Helsing," he said with a smile.

"I don't remember Hugh Jackman wearing this?" I said looking down again. I really wished I had a mirror.

Before the thought even left my mind a mirror appeared in front of me.

Mason smiled, "Cool huh?"

"Sure," I said looking at my reflection. The first thing I noticed about myself was the fact that the cut on my forehead was gone. And I was paler than usual. Not as pale as Mason or anything but like I had stayed inside for a long time.

"So is there another Van Helsing movie I haven't seen where he's a cross dresser?"

Mason laughed and went to stand behind me. "Nah it's just what Anna was wearing except I made it purple instead of red."

"Anna?" I asked thinking of St. Vladimir's shadow kissed Guardian.

"Yeah you know…oh…forgot about the Vladimir thing. You can change it if you want."

I would never admit to him but I loved the outfit. It fit me in so many ways. And it was comfortable which you wouldn't guess at first glance.

So I changed the subject, "All you have to do is think of what you want and it appears?"

"Yeah that's about it, and no it won't bring people here."

I grimaced as he caught my meaning. "What about food and water and stuff?" I asked him trying to push what I really wanted to ask him off.

"Don't need it here. I mean if you want to you can but there's no need. You don't even have to sleep. We're just stuck here for who knows how long."

I looked around. The Guardian's were still around us. I recognized one of the closer ones as Allan. I hadn't known him very well but I had seen him die.

I had to look away from him because he looked upset.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask but one major one popped in to my head.

"How long have I been here? I mean how long has it been since I…died?"

Mason seemed to have to think a bit on this.

"I'm not really sure. Time doesn't run the same here as it does back in the real world. A year could go by there and it would only feel like a day to us."

I gulped, a year?

"Mason how long have I been here?" I asked more urgently.

Mason seemed to look around at the people scattered around us, "Uh a few days maybe."

"How long has it been in the real world?" I said through my teeth.

He bit his lip.

I grabbed his shirt. His dhampir reflexes still worked because he soon got away from my grip. So we ended up fighting.

He dodged one of my punches and tripped me. It was a dirty move but I knocked his feet from under him. Then I rushed up to him and pressed my elbow in to his throat, "How long has it been?"

He grunted and tried to push my arms away. I lessened the pressure, "How long?" I repeated.

"Two months," he gasped.

I froze, "What?" I stuttered.

He took advantage of my hesitation and grabbed my arms and sat up. "Two months."

Eek! Two months! And the outfit she's in, I have no idea but the outfit that Anna wears in Van Helsing (when Van Helsing first meets her) just kept going through my mind. I think it fits Rose pretty well. (Oh and the purple thing will come up later in the story.) Anyways thanks for reading! Review!