Hey everyone! THANK YOU for the reviews for the story so far. Too funny that many of you guessed she was artificially inseminated when she thought he was dead; I thought I wrote it so subtly, but you all picked up on it! So hopefully there's some good B & B moments packed into chapter 4 for you. Thanks for reading!

-Gret

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Chapter 4

Booth was just about to give up and go to the crime scene without his partner when she rounded the corner of the lab. Without noticing him, she walked into her office and closed the door.

Yes, something was definitely up with his partner. She normally was so turned on, in early, out late, always checking to see what was happening on the platform. She didn't even glance at it; didn't even notice him standing there, looking right at her.

He walked to her door and knocked softly. "Bones?"

After a moment, he heard a couple sounds, things moving, then her voice say "Yes, come in."

He opened the door and saw her sitting at her desk. She looked tired. Really tired, come to think of it. She was tired and drained before she left for the islands; she should look rejuvenated and refreshed now, right?

"You okay, Bones?"

She met his gaze at that, looking surprised. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine," she said. Then she sighed and gave him a half-smirk, letting him see the honesty in her eyes. "Okay, I'm a little tired. I haven't slept much since I've been back in DC."

He stood in front of her desk and smiled back at her. "Still fighting jet lag?"

"I guess," she said. "So I apologize that I'm not at my normal energy levels."

He smiled, wondering how energetic she imagined herself to be at her most 'normal'. "Well, do you have enough energy to come with me to a crime scene?"

Brennan smiled, and relief washed over Booth; this was what he liked to see, his Bones smiling, eager to get into the field, and solve crimes with him.

As they walked out of the Jeffersonian and jumped into his car, he vowed to himself that he would get her to open up – and finally finish telling him what she'd started telling him at the reflecting pool.

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Brennan thought about what Sweets said. It was unfair to allow Booth to create a life with Hannah without all the facts. And yet… if he knew the whole story, it would throw his whole life, the perfect picture he created for himself, into turmoil. He'd question things. He'd do what was right. He offered to marry Rebecca out of a sense of obligation. He was an alpha male and he fulfilled any duties he felt were his responsibility.

She didn't want him to leave the woman he was in love with out of a sense of obligation because of what she did while he was away. When she thought about it logically, it just didn't seem fair to him.

Her heart told another story, however. She wasn't used to understanding her own emotions so clearly. But ever since she thought Booth had been killed, she'd been able to understand her own heart quite well. It seemed to speak loudly and clearly. She loved Booth. She felt that with as much certaintly as she felt when looking at Bones and analyzing them under a microscope. She could break science down until the truth was undeniable and conclusive.

Somehow, her feelings for Booth, irrational as it seemed, were as conclusive now as her science.

She had planned to see him at the reflecting pool and just tell him. Apologize for turning him down without ever giving his feelings the proper reflection on her end. She would tell him that she'd been wrong to tell him they couldn't be more than partners and friends. And she would kiss him. She wanted so badly to kiss him, now that she was aware of her feelings.

She had never been with a man that she was in love with before. She had slept with men that she enjoyed spending time with; nice men; decent human beings; men she was simply very fond of.

She had never in her life… what did Booth call it? Made love. She had never done that. And the idea excited her. She was curious to see if sex was better when you were in love with the person you were engaging in intercourse with.

So after the kiss at the reflecting pool, they would've gone back to either her place or his – assuming he still had feelings for her, too – and they'd approach sex with a 'making love' mentality. And in the afterglow of their lovemaking, she would tell him how it was that she learned her feelings finally.

She'd tell him about the telegram, about her return trip to DC, and about her impetuous decision that led to life-altering consequences.

And she was excited for all of that as she ran to meet him at the reflecting pool. He had seemed so truly in love with her before they went their separate ways. While she knew he wanted to move on, she had thought in Afghanistan he'd be surrounded by soldiers – and romance would be a far off dream.

She had hoped that he thought of her in his time away, and maybe still harbored that hope for them that he had so recently.

She hadn't planned on Hannah. The moment she let Booth's new relationship really process though, she knew with the certainty that told her she loved him, that she needed to let him be happy. Because she loved him.

"You're pretty quiet today, Bones," Booth commented, breaking her out of her reveries.

"I was just thinking about my trip," she said smoothly. "Did you enjoy training soldiers?"

Booth looked sideways at her and gave her his charming half-smile. "It was good to work with the soldiers. I think they learned a lot, and hopefully I did help save some lives. Just like you said I would."

Brennan sighed sadly at that.

"What's wrong?"

She looked at him as he concentrated on the road. "I shouldn't have voiced an opinion one way or the other about you going to Afghanistan."

"It was your opinion. I'm glad you encouraged me to go and help, to save lives. Bones, your opinion is one of the few in this whole world that matters to me."

She smiled. "But all the same, you were thinking about going into a war zone. It was dangerous. And I just thought about you saving lives. I… I didn't think enough about what you were risking. I am sorry. I hope you know that I would never willingly send you into a dangerous situation."

"Thanks. I know that. I'd lay my life down to keep you out of danger. I know you care, too."

She smiled and looked out the window at the familiar scenery of her home city.

"Did you hear about the explosion near our unit?" Booth asked, steeling a glance her way once more. "Is that why you thought about that?"

She couldn't lie. Even if it wasn't time for the whole truth, he deserved to know a little bit of it now. "I actually heard about it in about the worst way possible."

"What do you mean?"

"A telegram came to me in Indonesia. It said you died."

She looked at her lap. The words were easier to say to him – it was proof he was still here, if she could recount that awful day to him in person. But it still choked her up to think about how she felt reading that awful, awful telegram.

Booth seemed to notice her emotions and swerved the car to the side of the road, stopping abruptly.

"Booth! What—"

"Are you serious? You thought I died? Again?"

"I agree that it's unfair that I've now thought you were killed twice when you weren't. You once talked about cosmic balance sheets. Wouldn't the balanced scenario be that for once you find out I'm dead falsely?"

He closed his eyes for a quick moment and opened them staring at a space somewhere between them. "I don't know how I would handle that." He met her eyes. "It actually scares me to think what I would do if something happened to you – or even if I just thought something bad happened to you."

"I can vouch from experience that it's very unpleasant, to find this information out. I sincerely hope that the next time I find out you're dead, that you're over ninety years old and actually deceased."

He smiled softly. "Thanks, Bones. I'm really sorry – honestly – that that happened to you. I will find out what happened that you received a telegram with such a mistake in it—"

She waved her hand dismissively. At one time, she was so enraged at the unknown person that caused her such grief and emotional turmoil. The person that caused her to make a massive life decision under false pretenses. But once she realized how wonderful it was to understand love – from being in love to feeling love grow inside of you in the form of a little baby, her baby – she forgave the imbecile responsible for such a major gaffe and for the first time ever put some stock in fate.

"It's okay. Now," she amended.

"So did another telegram with the correct information come right away? I hope you didn't worry or… or think I was dead for too long," he said. He squeezed his eyes closed, clearly hating this. He seemed to be a mix of angry, annoyed and just sorry that this happened.

"Not exactly. Sweets found me and put an end to my suffering," she said simply.

"Sweets… flew to the Maluku Islands?"

"No. He… he found me at the reflecting pool, actually."

Booth thought about this for a long moment then turned to her again. "You flew home? When?"

"I'd been in Indonesia for three months when the telegram came. I got the next flight back to DC." She looked down again. She couldn't keep eye contact, knowing exactly what happened when she arrived in DC.

"Is that what you were trying to tell me yesterday?" he asked. "Before I interrupted you?"

"Yes. That was a major part of what I was going to say. But I think we should just go to the crime scene now. Focus on our case for a bit. I don't really want to think about that telegram or returning to DC. It was painful and I think I will work better at the crime scene if I'm in a more positive mindset."

"Okay," Booth said. He started the engine back up, but before driving away he looked at her once more. "I'm sorry you went through something so painful – and that I didn't know about it, that I couldn't help you."

"It's okay. You didn't know," she said, shrugging. "But Booth?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad that you weren't killed in that explosion. I… I don't like to think of a world that you're not in. I'm just happy that you're here right now."

"Ditto, Bones." He pulled the car into the road. "Ditto."