I'm advising that you all call your dentists in advance, because this chapter is slightly sweet and fluffy. This one and the next were intended to be one whole chapter, but I felt it was too long so I had to split it.


Blaine called the hospital first thing on Monday morning to request a blood test, though he was dismayed to find out that the earliest appointment wasn't until the next evening. He used all of his charm in attempts to sway the mind of the elderly receptionist but she was insistent that there was nothing she could do.

"It's better than no appointment at all," Kurt had reasoned when he heard. "You took the step, I'm so proud of you." Then he had squeezed Blaine's hand, and Blaine was once again reassured that he was doing the right thing.

On the outside everything between them appeared to be normal and perfect, none of their classmates suspected a thing had gone wrong. However deep below the surface Blaine knew that, despite his initial anger ebbing away, Kurt was still finding it hard to slip back in to their usual ways. He wasn't as jokey or affectionate around him, and more than once Blaine would look over to catch Kurt staring at him with eyes so sad and tragically beautiful that they pierced his heart.

When Tuesday evening came they left school hand in hand, pausing at the point where they usually went their separate ways. Kurt stepped in closer so that his lowered voice would be heard. "I'll come with you," he offered.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but this is something I'd rather do alone," Blaine confessed.

Kurt reluctantly nodded. "If you're sure. But I want you to call me as soon as you know anything."

"I will," Blaine promised. "But technically it will take another twenty four hours before I even get the results back."

"Then come round when you're done at the hospital," Kurt suggested. "We can order in or something... take your mind off things."

Blaine appreciated the effort Kurt was making to get them back on the right track. He nodded with a small smile. "Sounds perfect."

"As long as I get to choose what we have," Kurt teased.

Blaine laughed, though the sound came out choked as he fought the urge to cry. "Oh God Kurt, I'm such a mess. I am so fucking sorry for putting you through all of this."

"Ssh, ssh," Kurt soothed, pulling Blaine in closer. He bit his lip, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty. Maybe he'd been harder on Blaine than he should have been over the past two days.

"I'm scared, Kurt," Blaine confessed. "What if Sebastian did... rape me?" It was the first time he had allowed himself to say the word out loud. They had been both avoiding it all day, but now it was out and the true implications of the situation were setting in.

"Then he'll truly regret ever coming anywhere near you," Kurt said fiercely.

They pressed their foreheads close together. All around the light drizzle that had been drifting on and off all day was beginning to fall again. Kurt tugged Blaine's scarf tighter around his neck.

"I think I've changed my mind. I don't want to do this alone," Blaine whispered.

"You don't have to," Kurt replied. "I'll come with you."

"Thank you," Blaine muttered, and suddenly they found themselves kissing for the first time since the world had crashed down around them.

"I'd do anything to protect you," Kurt said. "If I'd have known then what I do now, I would never have left you alone with him."

"I know that. Don't blame yourself," Blaine soothed, cupping Kurt's chin in his hand.

Kurt brushed his lips lightly over Blaine's knuckles. "Well," he sighed. "I suppose we had better face the music."

When they got to the hospital, Blaine ended up changing his mind again, leaving Kurt to sit alone in the waiting room whilst he went to see the doctor. He suspected that Blaine didn't want to have to explain the situation with Kurt beside him.

He sat stiffly in the plastic chair, the stench of disinfectant and cheap coffee burning his nose. Kurt hated hospitals, particularly the waiting rooms, with their harsh fluorescent lights and rickety tables stacked with yellowing magazines. They were all identical. All of a sudden he was eight years old again, curled up in the same plastic seat with his mothers silk shawl and waiting for his father to come back. He'd never been restricted to the waiting room before; whenever they came to visit his mother in the hospital Kurt had always been allowed to see her, even on her bad days.

But that day had been different. That day had changed everything.

"All done," Blaine's voice sounded suddenly.

Kurt glanced up. "Great," he smiled.


Kurt spent the next evening home alone. His father and Carole had gone away on mid-week break and Finn was out of town for the night after being dragged to a theatre production by Rachel. They had invited Kurt, but he was too nervous about the results of Blaine's test to go out and have fun. So he sat alone, curled up in front of the TV with his treasured Alexander McQueen scarf draped around his hunched shoulders for comfort. Time crawled by at an agonisingly slow pace, getting later and later, but still there was no word.

Kurt was just dozing off when he heard a knock at the door. Bleary eyed and unsteady on his feet, he got up to answer it. He found Blaine stood on the doorstep, an unfathomable expression on his face, though Kurt noticed his trembling hands.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner. I just wanted to be alone for a while," Blaine explained. His voice sounded raw and croaky, like the words caused him great pain as they crawled up his throat.

"What did they say?" Kurt asked in a tiny whisper, his every syllable shaking with fear. He already knew what Blaine was going to say, and he couldn't bear it.

"They found Rohypnol in my system," Blaine announced quietly.

Kurt felt his blood run cold. He could only stare blankly as his worst fear unravelled itself in front of his very eyes.

"Rohypnol is the date rape drug, Kurt," Blaine added. "He drugged me. He - Sebastian - he drugged and raped me."

It was then that Kurt noticed just how very tiny his boyfriend was. He shot forward, his scarf slipping from his shoulders and floating to the floor, and gripped Blaine tightly against his chest. Blaine sobbed in to his shoulder; the sound like a wounded animal.

Kurt bit fiercely down on his lip. He wasn't going to cry. He was going to be strong; he had to be.

When Blaine got to the stuttering, ragged breathing stage, and Kurt could feel the tears soaking through his shirt and on to his bare skin, he propelled Blaine gently in to the living room.

They sat face to face on the sofa, legs crossed and hands clasped tightly together. "I just can't believe it," Blaine said shakily. "How did I not see what he was capable of? You were right, Kurt. You were right all along. He was pure evil. How did I not see that?" He punched the cushion at his side.

"Hey, hey," Kurt ushered softly. He picked up Blaine's hand, kissing his fingers. "I don't think anyone could have guessed Sebastian would turn out to be such a… don't blame yourself."

"I just feel so weak, Kurt," Blaine whispered. "I always thought I could take care of myself, you know? But I let him do that to me."

Kurt gasped in outrage. "You didn't let-"

Blaine carried on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "The only thoughts keeping me going are that I wasn't conscious for it and- and that he wasn't my first. I'm so glad I shared that amazing experience with you first, Kurt. If that had been my first time…"

"Ssh," Kurt soothed. "That was the best night of my life, Blaine. I'm grateful for it, too. Now more- more than ever." He shuddered. The horror of the situation was still taking time to sink in. They sat silently for a moment, Kurt brushing his thumb lightly over Blaine's knuckles.

"Kurt?" Blaine said after a while.

Kurt looked up. "Yes, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Can you just… just hold me?" Blaine trembled.

His voice sounded so scared, so unsure, as if he were expecting Kurt to reject him. Kurt felt a tremor of anger wash over his body. It was obvious that Blaine suddenly felt undeserving of a gentle touch, of love, and it was all Sebastian's fault. He had done this to Blaine, and Kurt wasn't going to rest until he had paid for it.

"That's a question you'll never have to ask," Kurt assured him, "Come here."

Blaine looked so relieved that Kurt found himself gnawing on his lip again. Though he managed to hide his emotions well as he slid down in to a lying position, pulling Blaine on top of him and wrapping his scarf around them both. Blaine closed his eyes, burrowing his nose in to the silk with a half-hearted smile. "This smells of you. It's lovely," he muttered.

"It's yours for as long as you want," Kurt offered. "Sleep with it. Pretend it's me that's wrapped around you."

Blaine buried his face in to Kurt's chest, so that his next words were muffled. "I didn't think you'd want to do this," he confessed. "I thought maybe you wouldn't be able to stand touching me."

Kurt frowned. "What?" he blurted.

"I'm not the same, Kurt. I'm not pure anymore," Blaine explained. "I used to be all yours but now I'm dirty and tainted and-"

"Never," Kurt hissed, his voice teeming with rage. "Describe yourself with those words again."

"Sorry," Blaine squeaked. "I didn't mean to-"

Kurt instantly felt guilty. "Ssh, ssh. I'm sorry. But Blaine, you are beautiful. And nobody can change that. What he did to you, that wasn't love; I'm still the only person who's ever loved you in that way, don't you see that? You're still pure, Blaine. You're still mine."

Blaine reached up, snaking an arm around Kurt's neck and kissing the space just above his collarbone. "I love you so much, Kurt," he breathed.

"I love you too," Kurt replied.

Blaine turned his head to rest his cheek against Kurt's shoulder, and they drifted in to silence again. After a while Kurt could hear and feel Blaine's soft snores sending vibrations across his chest, and he realised just how late it was. Tomorrow was bound to be a difficult, emotionally draining day, that was for sure. Deciding that it was probably a good idea to get some sleep, Kurt closed his eyes.

As soon as he did images began flickering behind his lids like a film reel from a horror film. Blaine, sprawled out on a bed, his eyes rolling back and his body heavy, unable to move. And Sebastian, hovering above Blaine like a vulture, licking his lips like some sort of revolting beast. Kurt's stomach flipped and he snapped his eyes open.

No, he wasn't going to carry on imagining. He couldn't bear it. Instead Kurt resolutely kept his eyes wide open. As he felt his eye balls start to sting with exhaustion, he decided to sing every song he could think of in his head in an attempt to stay awake.


You might be aware that in reality rohypnol only stays in your system for twenty-four hours, however I didn't realise this little hiccup until I decided to Google it half way through the fucking story. So for all intents and purposes, I'm willing to ignore this tiny hitch if you are.