For the first time in his life Haymitch could not wait for the games. The nightmares were unbearable. They always had been, but as the man had spent weeks where they had lessened, or at least were easily put to rest by the person that had been sleeping next to him. He missed the freedom a night's sleep had granted him. Besides that they had both learned that while phone calls were nice there was only so much some imagination and your own hand could do compared to another person being there and holding you. It would have been so easy if the physical itch was the only problem brought about by the distance though. The first few months apart had been easy. They had Capitol events and actually got a chance to see each other without it appearing too out of the norm. Once those were over things got harder. Haymitch's drinks got harder and more frequent and Effie started to hide her face more and more for sanity's sake. Suddenly they were back to who they had been before. Except once every two weeks when they would speak on the phone.

It was the day of the games and Haymitch was late. He knew she would be furious with him but he was too drunk to care. He wandered up to the grounds and saw her standing there. His world was fuzzy but up there on the stage she stood clear. He pouted at the gunk on her face and made his way through the crowd drunkenly. Eventually he got to the stage making a beeline for Effie. He decided to try to give her a hug and maybe a big kiss. He wanted to hold her. It would be the first time in months. His brain was so fuzzy at the moment he couldn't remember why they hadn't shown up on each other's doorsteps and just held each other.

There were many things he couldn't forget even when drunk off his ass. He couldn't forget his family. He couldn't forget his girl who seemed to look a lot like Effie, if you squinted and turned to the side. He couldn't forget the games he was in, but their reasons for staying so far apart didn't seem to stick. Whatever they were, he was sure they were worth more than a long distance whatever. He was going to tell her that they she would not be leaving or he would be going with her, but first he wanted to feel her in his arms.

However, with a slight squeal she pushed him away and he landed with an 'oof' off stage but peering up. He was disgruntled and confused by this until he noticed a strand of hair sticking out for her off kilter wig. It made him smile because he knew that the blonde was still under there. It was like a present, getting to see some small piece of the between stage of his two Effies. He had never seen the transition; she just went away as one and came back as another. He had thought a few times that she secretly replaced herself with a body double from time to time. That or there was like a second layer of skin or something that she had to unzip to be the Effie that shared his bed. It was a strange phenomenon but it didn't matter because she was back now and he would see it now. Though, it was very rude of her to toss him away when he was just trying to greet her and enjoy the fact that she was back! After all he wasn't the one that looked like a clown that had been thrown up on by a small pink fluffy animal made of glitter.

Effie watched him walk over to his seat in a huff. She couldn't imagine what he was thinking! Then again he was so drunk he probably had no brain in his head at the moment so thinking wasn't really his problem. Still she wished more than anything that she could just let him have what he wanted. She would enjoy wrapping herself up in his arms and staying there until the end. Especially when she was here today doing it again: picking the names of the poor children she would love and then watch die.

She almost wanted to hate him for curling up in his bottle and leaving her alone to deal with another year! Though somehow seeing him there made her softer, it always had really. Even if she was angry, and she was furious, she was glad to have him. Even if he was only physically there. She watched as he pouted like a little boy. She wanted to laugh at how juvenile he could look and still be such a handsome man. There was no time for that now. Her mind went on autopilot as she adjusted herself and spoke the words she had so memorized she could say in her sleep. She didn't have to think, not after 11 years of saying the same thing over and over. Every escort said it and of course, made an exclamation of joy at the end. Her trade mark was always 'I just love that part!' It was sick but it made the Capitol happy and kept her safe. With her new and rather risky love affair, that was a good thing. With any luck it would keep him safe too.

Now it was time for the names. She walked up to the bowls and tried to ignore her urge to run off stage, or look at Haymitch, or run to Haymitch then off stage and never look back. She took a deep breath with her big, fake, smile on and reached into the bowl pulling out a name. Her hand moved out of the bowl as quickly as if she had reached into a volcano and pulled out a flaming rock. Though that she could pass off as excitement, if she played her cards right.

She opened the piece of paper and read out in a loud, shrill voice: "PRIMROSE EVERDEEN!" Her words seemed to hang over everyone's heads in the air and she knew in that instant that something was wrong; she had picked the wrong name. She had made something happen but there was no going back now, she just hoped she survived it all in one piece.

The crowd shuffled around a hesitant little blonde girl. She was so tragically beautiful Effie wanted to cry. Haymitch wanted to throw up. He knew the Everdeens, everyone knew Primrose Everdeen. She was the sweetest, most wonderful girl in town, if not the world. She was being sent to her death. He had no blood in his face as Effie, the traitor, happily waved the girl on. Effie's heart shattered more with every she made wave and encouragement she threw to the fragile, frail little blonde. She couldn't be any older than 12 and in some way reminded Effie of herself when she was young.

Suddenly there was an uproar from further back. She looked up to hear a girl screaming for Prim and words she had never heard rang from the cacophony. "I VOULENTEER AS TRIBUTE!"

The world stopped for a moment. Effie's heart shattered in the silence. Someone had volunteered to die. No one survived from 12, not since Haymitch. She knew this. This girl had to know that these were the last moments of her life. She had to really love this girl if she was going to volunteer. Haymitch looked up to the girl with a death wish and saw the face of the older Everdeen. It made sense, Katniss would do anything for Prim, but he admired the courage of her. Even if did he mock the stupidity in his mind. She was throwing away her life.

"It looks like we have a volunteer!" Effie exclaimed shooting for excited and hoping the tension and nerves in her voice played off with a smile. The Districts would never know. They all just assumed she hated them as much as every other Capitol person did. They wouldn't look into her shaking hands or a small tremor in her voice and see her weakness. Unfortunately, the Districts weren't the only ones watching. What these people could not hear in her voice, her own people could. That was where the danger came in.

That was where the pretty show had to come in full force, and she was failing this year because Haymitch had shown her what it was like to have someone else there. She didn't like dealing with all of this alone anymore but here she stood with a grumpy drunk behind her battling it all alone like she always had. She wanted to hate him. She really really wanted to hate him.

Once the girl was up there she turned to the brunette. "And what is your name?" She asked her voice fluttering like a twitterpated Capital air head.

"Katniss Everdeen." She said simply. Effie could only imagine that would be how Micah would have been if he'd grown up. That grumpy and sounding so upset. She had to push it back and shake it away or she would break down again.

"Well, I'd bet my buttons that was your sister!" Effie squeaked. There was a note of panic to it but she tried to keep it sounding something like inspired. It made sense but it also made it that much more devastatingly brave. This girl was giving her life to save her sister's. That was real love and an admirable trait and Effie wanted to tell her to go now; to run away and never look back but she couldn't. Instead she straightened, even as the entire crowd held up some symbol she'd never seen before and Haymitch knew all too well and joined in.

"Now to the boys." She chirped trying to distract herself. This bowl was facing so that she could see Haymitch fuming in his seat. He was slumped over and looking at her like she'd committed murder. She could feel the anger bubbling in her but her mask was too well in place to be moved by anything. "PEETA MELLARK!" she chirped out.

The tension was thick, as always, but the tension in the girl tribute and the silence as though waiting for someone else to say their name. She could feel it. She saw a boy in the back looking like he was going to speak, a tall one with the same dark hair as Katniss but then he saw the little blonde at the front and stayed silent. The boy that made his way to the stage was blonde and he stood stone still on the pedestal.

"Presenting this year's tributes from District 12 Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!" She announced shrilly. The crowd stood still as the grave. The tributes were escorted to their rooms. Haymitch started for the doors as well but Effie walked swiftly up to him and growled into his ear "We need to talk now. In private." She said sharply.

"Keep your panties on princess." He growled and actually didn't follow up with a gross mocking sexual reference. It really was serious. She wanted to hit him so badly. She refrained, holding herself still as a stone. Together they walked through the greeting rooms to a place in the back of the house. It was completely silent in the room and used only for storage, no one would expect people in there. Effie turned on the lights and glared at him.

"You are Drunk!" She hissed to him angrily.

He rolled his eyes. "And you're a clown! You're point?" He shot back to her sarcastically.

She stopped short and looked down realizing he was right. She huffed. "I will have you know Haymitch Abernathy, that this is the height of fashion!" She twittered back in a sharp and high stuccato.

"Still looks like a circus." He groused.

"Yes! Ok! I relapsed a bit, but so did you.-" she started but was cut off by his throaty, bitter laugh.

"A bit?" he mocked darkly. "No Princess, a bit is painting up your face! What you did was go back to square fucking one." He growled to her rolling his eyes.

Instantly her anger was incited. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She snarled to him with the same viciousness he always used.

"Oh you know exactly what it means! You were up there just as giddy for the games as ever!" He barked.

Effie rolled her eyes at him "Oh like you would even know if I were! You can barely see straight! You wouldn't know the difference between me and a brightly painted wall." She accused.

"Maybe I should have tried my luck with the wall since my girlfriend doesn't want me anywhere fucking near her." He fought back waving his hands around.

"No your secret girlfriend does not want you putting both of our lives in danger by hugging me in front of the entirety of Panem!" she nearly screeched as Haymitch growled out a huff and turned to the door. "Where are you going?" she demanded shrilly.

He glared over his shoulder and shot to her "I'm starting to sober up." As though that was a terrible fate. He walked through the door leaving her utterly alone again with a slamming door. Effie fell back against the now closed door and wrapped her arms around herself hearing the wig crunch as it's nylon and hairspray rubbed together hitting the door.

She ripped it off her head in disgust. She felt her throat constrict and her heart clench in the pain. She was finally back with him, everything she had wanted for months, and this was what happened? They fought and stormed off and were even more separated together than when they were miles apart. She felt a sob tear from her throat and she slipped down the door. She missed him. He smelled like stale alcohol and sweat and it was home to her. No matter how mad she was she wanted him. She had wanted to hug him back so badly! She desperately craved his arms and his kiss and wished they could curl up together and just be happy.

She composed herself and wiped away her tears. She fixed the alabaster make up, which she had so painstakingly applied that morning. Once she was happy with her appearance she went to retrieve the tributes and take them to the train.

Her chatter was benign and meaningless. All about the wonders of the Capitol and the fantastic things they would experience. She didn't believe a word of what she was saying but they didn't notice any better than a drunken Haymitch had so it had yet to be an issue.

All she really wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry for a moment and then scream at a hungover Haymitch until she was red in the face and her throat was bloody. Then make him take it back and she would take it back and it would be fixed. That wasn't going to happen, but it was exactly what she wanted. The aimless talking was even starting to get on her own nerves but she had to fill the silence. If she stopped talking they would start thinking and so would she. Then they would all be even more miserable. It was better to just keep talking and pretend that she didn't care they were in pain.

They got to the train without too much happening other than the girl brooding and the boy sneaking glances at her. She wondered if he had a crush on her. That would make the games even worse for them, but then again she was looking for romance everywhere lately. It was a rather pathetic little product of her own love life being so messily complicated.

She gently coaxed them into the train showing them around slightly letting them see the amenities and chatting about how wonderful each thing was and the joys it would bring them. She listed and her favorites and least favorites to them as though she thought they cared. The children were silent as the grave the entire time. She led them to chairs and made them sit.

"I think it's wonderful that, even though you're here, and even though it's only for a little while, you get to enjoy all of this!" she said brightly and still they looked blank and empty and she felt the sinking awkwardness and she needed to get away. "I'm going to find Haymitch! He's probably in the bar car." She muttered in disdain and stood fluttering out of the room.

She walked into the car with the drinks and saw Haymitch sitting right where she thought he be and brooding silently with a full tumbler in front of him. She looked him over with her lips pulled tightly in disapproval. "You smell atrocious." She said flatly to him with a glare. "And look even worse. Honestly would it kill you to wear something nice for once?" she added still furious with him and herself and really everyone else in the world right now but there was no time to deal with their issues.

"Hey Eff! I think ya got a wrinkle." He said rudely pointing under her eye and she resisted the urge to check it in her mirror holding back to simply look at him flatly.

"I will not let you bait me Haymitch Abernathy. You have two young people in there who are terrified. Go do your job!" she fumed to him with a face that was probably red under layers and layers of capitol makeup.

"No." He challenged simply looking at her with glazed eyes.

She ruffled herself up at that her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing further at him. "What did you just say to me?" She growled in a low voice filled with rage.

"I said no. What's the matter don't speak English anymore with that damn accent? Here I'll try it in your own tongue NoooOOOOoooo." He said giving her a horrible, screechy approximation of her accent and she felt a shock of hatred rampage through her. Not two weeks ago he said he had loved her voice.

He kept his eyes steady on her as though it were a challenge. It wasn't. He wanted some proof that she was human. He needed to know that she was real under all of that stuff. All he got back was anger radiating off of her like a heated machine.

"Listen to me you rude, selfish, despicable man. Go into that car and give those children some hope or I swear to all that is holy that I will take every bottle of alcohol on this train and throw it out of the window!" She threatened. A small voice inside of her head told her that she should do it anyway because he deserved it for being so cruel. She wanted to hit him! She wanted to fuck him. She wanted to curl up into his arms and force him to make it all better. She would do none of those things. Instead she would stand there and watch him go and then go to her room and not leave until the morning and she was needed.