Chapter 4: Xander's Little Problem

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Charmed characters belong to WB, I think. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

A/N: Thanks to my betas for their help... AshDawnSoulmates, Chrislover, DawnDreamer and zigpal. And a special thanks to asreal from for inspiring me. Extra credit to zigpal for helping to come up with Xander's punishment.

A/N2: Upped the rating to FR21 due to the expected sexual content. Honestly, skip it if smut bothers you!

Warning: Some swearing and serious sexual content are going to be present.

Recap: The Tribunal's punishment of Willow and Kennedy have been completed, only one to go.

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As they walked into the room with the two strange men, Xander started to imagine how much better life would have been if Buffy was just smart enough to see that he was the best guy for her. But she had been held fast in her Angel-induced fantasy world.

Barabas read his thoughts – although it wasn't really a task worthy of the Demon of Fear – and determined a delightfully wicked sentence for the bitter young man. So while the girls' punishments were being drawn up, he set in motion Xander's.

"I'm going to send you back to her first, Xander. The girls will be along shortly," the Demon of Fear lied smoothly. "What has happened is the blinders that Buffy has had on since first meeting the bloodsucker with a soul will be gone and she'll finally be able to make her choices with a clear mind."

Barabas inwardly chuckled at the line of crap he was feeding this fool. As if the strong-willed young woman would have even considered him if he were the last man – no, male (including non-human creatures) – on earth. No, in this dimension! If there had been no other choices, she probably would have become a lesbian.

But the fool in question just nodded his head idiotically while calling out to the girls that he'd see them soon. Of course they were already caught up in their own sentencing spells and didn't even hear him.

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As Xander materialized in the living room at 1630 Revello Drive, he witnessed Angel and Spike fighting for Buffy's attention, both not realizing that she lacked any excitement for either of them. But when she saw Xander, her face lit up and she ran into his arms.

"Oh Xan," she cried out, "I missed you! I'm so sorry that I wasted all that time fawning over losers like those two! I just didn't really believe that you'd love me once you got to know the real me. I'm so not worthy of you," she gushed like a love struck fool.**

"That's okay, Buff," he murmured in her ear like he was Rhett Butler, "I understand that you were just caught up in a childish obsession with Angel and that the twisted relationship with him tainted your views for all your future relationships. The important thing is we can be together now," he vowed.

"What the hell?!?" Angel and Spike bellowed in unison.

"You can't seriously be picking this boy over me!" Angel sneered.

"Really Slayer…even Peaches here would be a better choice than the Whelp. But you don't have to settle for either because I'm here for you to pick. I went and earned my soul for you," he reminded her.

"I don't care!" Buffy yelled. "You two are vampires and I'm a vampire Slayer!"

When they both made a threatening move towards her new love, she instantly pulled out Mr. Pointy and his friend and threw them directly into their unbeating hearts. Then she turned to her true hero.

----- Last Warning Before Smutty Exchange -----

"Now that that disgusting part of my life is over with, I can move onto my wonderful future with you, my White Knight! I have a lot of 'thank yous' to make up for," she added seductively as she ran her hand down the front of his pants.**(again)

Buffy pushed him back to the couch, moving the coffee table out of the way and walked to the stereo. She found a CD filled with sultry music and started it. She swayed back towards him, undressing herself with talent that could put the best stripper to shame. When she was down to her lacy red bra and thong, she dropped to her hands and knees and crawled across the floor like a lioness in heat.

Then she slowly drew her way up Xander's body, just barely skimming it with hers. She straddled him and pulled his shirt off with tortuously unhurried movements. Then she began her sensual assault on his neck and chest with her hands and mouth. Xander was sure that hookers could have learned a thing or two about turning a guy on from her.

Then with equally mind-blowing consideration, she leisurely removed his pants while leaving his black silk boxers in place. Then she nibbled and licked her way back up his body. She bypassed his twitching manhood and sat astride him again.

"Oh Xander," she breathed with a sultry voice, "I've had many, many naughty dreams about this moment. All of Anya's talk about orgasms made me wet with desire whenever I saw you. That was the real reason Spike hated you; he could smell my juices flowing whenever you were nearby."

"Ah Buff," he panted out with longing, "I've always wanted you. Even when I was dating Cordelia. Or when I slept with Faith or Anya. Especially Faith! It was you that I imagined who was milking my cock with your powerful Slayer muscles. I called out generic words like 'babe' to keep from giving away my secret."

"Imagine no more, you sex god, because from now on it will be my muscles riding that pulsing manhood of goodness 'til we both scream with satisfied release!" Then she pulled him in for a heated kiss that belonged behind the curtain of an adult video store.

Unfortunately, it had the effect of giving him his release too early and he leaned his head back in a post-coital stupor. Buffy pouted with disillusionment at his lack of stamina. She barely even got started. Maybe she had staked the corpses too soon. Or at least Spike. He was able to give her release and she didn't have to worry about him trying to destroy the world afterward.

Just then Wesley walked in the room, looking for Angel – looking every bit the ponce he was when he first came to Sunnydale years ago.

"Do you know where--?" he broke off when he saw Buffy on top of Xander, clad only in her unmentionables and looking rather…sad? "Oh my!" he exclaimed, dropping the folder he was carrying to hide the sudden tightness in his trousers.

But he didn't do it quickly enough to keep the nubile, young Slayer from witnessing his reaction. She was very horny by this point and since she obviously wouldn't be getting any satisfaction from the loser underneath her, she'd give ol' Wussley a try.

She shot Xander one last look of contempt before striding over to her ex-Watcher and pulling him into the same kind of kiss that had the Zeppo blowing his load. If this guy was going to be as big a disappointment, she wanted to know about it before wasting any time on her seduction.

She honestly wasn't expecting much from him because she heard about the disastrous kiss he shared with Cordelia before graduation. But obviously one of three things had happened: either it was Cordy's fault it was less than satisfactory, or it was a fluke, or he learned something in the last 4 years. Because this kiss caused her thong to be drenched with desire.

When she pulled away to catch her breath, he yanked her back to his body so their burning loins to met in perfect alignment. They instantly forgot where they were or even that anyone else was in the room. Buffy lost what little patience she might have before the mistake that was Xander and literally ripped the clothes off the Englishman.

Not that he was complaining, mind you. Once she had rid him of those pesky clothes, he slammed her up against the nearest wall and returned the favor by tearing off her flimsy thong. He chose to leave the bra on though to enhance the sensations as he devoured her firm, perky breasts. With a growl of possession, he rammed his painfully hard cock into her dripping hole, causing her to cry out in ecstasy. He took her over the edge several times before allowing his own release.

When Buffy caught her breath, she noticed that he had really caught his second wind.

He smirked lecherously at her as he bent her limber body over the edge of a chair and pounded into her from behind.

Xander watched helplessly with a cooling mess in his boxers as the geeky Brit took what was supposed to be his! When he couldn't stand it anymore, he closed his eyes to block out the sight and covered his ears with the throw pillows to muffle their screams of passion.

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A/N: **Excuse me while I fight my gag reflex.

A/N2: Next…Buffy learns their fates.