Regina noticed a pattern, one that would be beneficial to the vacation plans. Her bouts of fatigue and energy alternated every twelve hours and, usually, the fatigue began around midnight and lasted until noon and the energy would have her bouncing off the walls and feeling happy from noon to midnight. It was a tiring cycle but it allowed for Regina to enjoy her adventure with her son and Emma. Also, she figured, it made it easier to hide.
Regina slowly climbed out of bed and trekked to the restroom. Yes, she had too much energy coursing through her system but her body had been practically paralyzed for several hours and she wasn't a young buck. Her joints and muscles protested loudly with her knees cracking, her back aching, and her shoulder blades burning. She had to prepare for Emma's inevitable visit so she gyrated her neck, hips, and ankles in an attempt to shake off the aches and pains.
As she brushed her teeth, she mentally went over what she had discovered about her affliction. One, she had several weeks, or less, to live until her heart cracked completely. Two, the bouts of fatigue and energy lasted twelve hours and alternated every morning and evening. Three, the fatigue brought on a depressed mood and negative memories while the energetic bout brought on excessive cheerfulness and positive memories. Regina had read more of the book after Emma had left the night before and she discovered that the alternation between positive and negative imagery was supposed to balance your psyche before you croak. Or something equally outlandish and stupid. Although, Regina did look forward to the bursts of energy because it brought forth memories of her father, her son, and Daniel that she had long forgotten. The book also said that the death and days prior would be excruciatingly painful. While she hated that they didn't sugarcoat it a bit, because damn, Regina couldn't help but agree. Your heart being snapped in two sounded pretty uncomfortable.
She felt fear rise in her belly and quickly screwed her eyes shut, "Don't worry about that now."
She had a few weeks to live life like she always should have and she wasn't planning to spend it in fear of what was to come. She needed to push thoughts and worries about her inevitable death to the backburner and live in the moment. She needed to make things right with Henry and Emma, possibly Snow and Charming. She needed to make arrangements too. But all that could wait until their little weeklong adventure was over.
Regina rinsed her mouth before strolling back into the bedroom and slipping on comfortable jeans and a red sweatshirt. Hell, if she was going to kick the bucket, she was going to wear comfortable clothes and forget about every lesson Cora had tried to beat into her. She would slouch, eat way too much food and scarf down Tums tablets, ride a horse like a man again, and maybe even smile genuinely, open up to her son, and just be herself.
No, she would not spend her last weeks being the woman Cora conditioned. She would beat her mother and her bout of lethargy and negative memories. She would wake up every morning and keep moving forward. She needed to keep this attitude of she was going to do everything she wanted. She needed to truly be Regina Mills, no more walls or masks or facades. The brunette looked at herself in the mirror and actually smiled at what she saw.
She would have never guessed that her death would bring her such life.
"Henry! Get your flat ass down here!" Emma hollered from the kitchen of the apartment, organizing her money in her wallet as she waited. That morning, Henry had asked to see his mother and Emma was so damn excited by the prospect that she immediately dressed and hurried her son. Whenever they left, she rolled her eyes at her son's snail pace; they would head to Granny's and pick up some lunch before heading to Mifflin.
"Alright, alright! I'm done!" Henry yelled back as he raced down the steps to meet his Ma by the front door, "How come we had to wait until lunchtime though?"
"Your grandparents would've be all over us like vultures if we tried to sneak out this morning," Emma sighed, squeezing her sons shoulder as she lead him down the stairs, "Plus, I think I heard your mom say that she enjoyed lunch more than breakfast. Something about eating so early making her nauseous."
"Really? But she always made breakfast when I lived there and she always ate something with me. She always used to say how much she loved it." Henry scrunched his brows as they hopped into the Bug. Emma smiled, knowing why Regina had done it.
"Kid, she wanted to please and spend time with you. She didn't enjoy the food. She enjoyed being with you." Emma responded and watched Henry's face fall. She suddenly felt bad for making the kid feel guilty. She reached over and ruffled his hair but his expression stayed the same. She sighed.
"She loves burgers. She'll deny it to her dying breath but she used to make it for herself when I was a kid. It was one of the only foods she literally stuffed her face with." Henry allowed a small sad smile to appear and Emma furrowed her brows, confused by the turn of the conversation and the statement itself.
"I've never seen her eat a burger. She always chewing on leaves." Emma stated as she made a left turn at an intersection. Henry frowned again.
"Yeah, she stopped after I…" Henry's sentence faded but Emma knew exactly what he meant. Regina really lost a lot when Henry pulled away from her; not just her son's affection but she lost interest in her favorite things.
"So, what'd you say we buy her a burger and some fries?" Emma smiled as Henry's face lit up.
"She used to drown the fries in ketchup too," The boy laughed, seemingly lost in a memory. Emma gestured with her hand, urging him to tell her what was so funny, so Henry added, "One time she made us homemade burgers and fries but when she opened the fridge, the ketchup was practically empty. She was so desperate for anything she could get from the bottle so she flipped it over and shook hard. All of a sudden, the cap snaps open and a stream of ketchup splatters all over her new white dress and her entire face. She looked so shocked and we just died laughing. I don't think I've seen her laugh like that since."
Emma wiped at her eyes, tearing up from laughter. She could imagine the scene and Regina's cute and very grumpy pout at the destruction of her clothes, "Maybe you'll hear it again this week."
Henry nodded and his smile widened as he watched houses and buildings fly by through the window. Emma couldn't stop imagining Regina's face as ketchup flew all over her and the blonde burst out laughing all over again, her eyes blurring a bit. Henry's chuckles joined in a few seconds after and they smiled all the way to the mansion.
Emma parked the Bug in the driveway but before she could even unbuckle her seatbelt, Henry was already halfway to the front door. Emma reached for the food and followed her son's path as he knocked on the large white door. They both furrowed their brows and threw each other questioning looks when they heard thumping coming towards the door but it lacked the usual snap of heels. They heard a gasp and the blonde knew that Regina probably peek through the peephole and saw her son. A few moments later, the brunette opened the door and simply stared at Henry with wide eyes.
"Mom," Henry stepped forward and placed his small hand on Regina's bicep, "I'm sorry."
Regina blinked repeatedly, as if confused and surprised at the same time, "You're sorry?"
"We both are." Emma added, her eyes sincere. Regina shook her head and opened her mouth to refute but instead chose to usher them in, giving Emma's hand a grateful squeeze. Before she could turn back to sneak a peak at her son, Henry plowed into her and hugged her tight. Regina immediately wrapped her arms around his small form, holding on so tight that he let out a strangled groan.
"Mom!" His voice muffled by her bosom. Emma watched, holding in a laugh.
"Gina, let the kid breathe." The blonde let out a chuckle when Regina glared at her playfully. The brunette let Henry go but the boy kept an arm around her midsection as Regina led them to the study. The blonde announced that she would be in the garden getting fresh air so that the mother and son could talk. Once the door behind Emma clicked shut, Regina turned to face Henry and sighed.
"I want to apologize for lying to you and for making you feel crazy. I regret it everyday. I was and am a damaged woman, Henry. I've lived a twisted life and unfortunately I went about everything the wrong way. The first time I felt complete was when you were put in my arms and I loved you so much. When you pulled away from me, I was devastated. Then you brought Emma here and I couldn't let her break the curse because I knew that if she did, you would hate me even more than you had. I panicked and I dug myself into a darker hole. But I'm done making excuses and I just want you to know that I don't expect forgiveness but I'd like to express how sorry I am anyway." Regina ended her monologue with a deep breath, her hands wringing nervously.
"I forgive you mom," Regina felt her lungs seize with relief, "I love you and I shouldn't have left you and treated you badly. For that, I'm sorry. I hope you're not mad."
"I wasn't mad at you, just extremely… heartbroken." Regina stated ironically, cringing at her own choice of words. He didn't seem to notice and she relaxed.
"Let's put all of this behind us and have fun on our trip!" His smile made her heart palpitate and for the first time in days, it wasn't painful. He was her little prince and she hoped that he continued to grow into a smart, mature gentleman. She may not be able to attend his wedding or meet her grandchildren but she would take pleasure in knowing that the man he becomes is partly because of her. She felt tears burning her eyes and bit her tongue roughly to drown out the emotion with the pain. Again, he didn't notice, as he was too excited and halfway to the garden to retrieve his other mother. Earlier, she decided that she wouldn't tell Henry about her illness until her last few days but she would inform Emma so that she could understand her issues during the trip if something were to arise.
She was brought out of her thoughts by a hand waving in front of her face, "Hey, where'd you go?"
Regina threw Emma an unsure smile, "There's something I have to tell you but Henry can't know."
"What is it?" Regina scoped out the room, trying to find her son, "He went upstairs to read some comics so we could talk. I kinda wanted to apologize for my part in fucking up your relationship with our son."
Regina patted Emma's hand and nodded her head as an acceptance, "Thank you and I suppose it was fifty-fifty so I own up to my part of it."
"Nice," Emma smiled goofily, "So what's up?"
Regina cleared her throat and stared at the blonde's knees, not wanting to see her reaction, "Two days ago, when you came back, being excluded from the group after saving you really hurt me—"
"I'm—"
"Emma, please. I came home and I lost my mind, as you saw, but I was also feeling an excruciating pain in my chest so when you left. I called Rumple. He checked my heart and he said that I had a magical illness called a broken heart."
"Are you okay?" Emma shrieked, looking at Regina's chest for any imperfections. Regina cursed as her throat constricted and her eyes burned.
"I asked you for my mothers books so that I could research it. I found that it's incurable. I have a few weeks to live." Regina finally lifted her glistening eyes to take in the blonde, who was gaping at her silently. The brunette cleared her throat and the loud sound broke Emma out of her stupor.
"You-You're… No," Emma whispered, tears hanging off of her lashes, "This isn't funny, okay?"
Regina felt a sob crawling up her throat, "I wish I could say I was joking but I'm not. I spend half of the day extremely fatigue and then I have a burst of energy for the rest. Rumple estimated that I have a few weeks and we'll know when I enter my final days because the pain will become overwhelming and debilitating. I don't want Henry to know. I want our vacation to be fun, not sad."
"Regina, you can't… you can't leave us. We just made amends." The blonde hiccupped, her cheeks and ears red with emotion. A few tears fell, dropping to mar her skinny jeans. Regina screwed her eyes shut, willing the image of a distraught blonde away. She knew this would be difficult but seeing Emma distraught over her made her even sadder. Maybe they could've been something. But it was too late.
"Let's enjoy our camping trip and our visit to see the Red Sox's. I've never slept in a tent or watched basketball live. It'll be an adventure and it's exactly how I want to spend my last weeks."
"Baseball," Emma managed a weak smile at her mistake, "The Red Sox's play baseball, not basketball."
"As if it matters." Regina chuckled nasally but Emma couldn't bring herself to join in. She couldn't believe what was happening. Just that morning, she was thinking about her relationship with Regina, hoping for a future with her. Emma reached up to rub her temples.
"There had to be something we can do, Regina. A potion or something?" Emma pleaded, her eyes begging for an answer.
"There's nothing," Regina replied softly before clearing her throat and jumping up to escape the sad atmosphere that descended upon them, "Let's not worry about it. We should get our son and discuss our plans for the week."
Regina shuffled out the study and made her way upstairs to retrieve their son. Emma couldn't move or think. She was stunned and her heart was in her stomach. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't.
Emma let out a quiet sob as she let her tears fall. Because no matter how much she wished, this was happening and Emma was lost.
A/N: Updates might not come regularly this week because I'll be on vacation but I'll still try. Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews!
