"What did you do, Joker?" Bruce asked in a weary voice.
"Oh, what do you mean, Bats?" The Joker placed both palms over his cheeks in a overdramatically shocked manner, "Can't a clown visit his dearest friend without having accusations thrown all over him? I demand justice!"
"Cut the crap, Clown!" Damian snapped.
"Master Damian, calm down." Alfred urged the young boy as he nudged toward the boy's father, assuring him that Bruce can handle the clown.
"Joker." Bruce stressed, he was feeling like his head was going to explode and the clown wasn't making it any better.
"Batty." The Joker replied as he batted his eyes and grinned at the billionaire.
"Fine. You can stay under two condi- "
"And what gave you the impression that you are in a position were you can bargain?" The Joker interrupted Bruce with a condescending grin and a dark look.
"I am Batman?" Bruce replied rhetorically.
The Joker's face became blank as he blinked a few times before a snort escaped his lips, which, of course, turned into a loud laughter in a matter of seconds.
"Great…" Bruce sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Mr. Joker, I don't think you are serving the purpose of your visit." Alfred scoffed with a quirk of an eyebrow, "Has anyone told you that that laugh of yours is like a bad earworm? Imagine what it would do to a sick man."
"Oh dear –ehe heeheee haahaaaaaaa- you two should stop with the flattery!" The Joker remarked as he tried to catch his breath. He then gave a theatrical bow, and said, "First of all, thank you, Jeeves, for the compliment." The clown then rose into his full height and added with a hinting grin, "Second of all, Bats, oh my dearest naïve Bats, you should try a better line if you want to score this handsome fella."
'Don't let him get to you. He is just testing your patience.' Bruce thought as he took in a deep breath to calm his wrecked nerves.
"Bruce, let us handle this." Dick argued with his mentor, "We are more than capa-"
"Sorry for cutting in Dick, but, no, we can't. Not until at least we know what Joker has in store." Tim interjected in a low whisper, he then looked at the Joker and added louder, "What did you mean by all hell will rise?"
"Ugh, you three birdies are still here?" The Joker pouted, but grinned within seconds, "Just took the honor of handling this year's fireworks, for all of Gotham. Ah how gracious of me! In the name of Christmas spirit, ghost, dwarfs and whatever. – Oho hoho-Anyways, Jeeves is right, Batsy can't heal up with you three chirping constantly around him. By all means, go break a leg or whatever- Shoo shoo!"
"Wha-"
"Unless you would prefer an early display? I did place some around the manor. You know me, all generous and christmassy." The Joker interrupted darkly.
"I'll be fine." Bruce assured the three young men, "Trust me."
"He is Batman after all –Oho hehehe hahahahahaaaaa!" The Joker mimicked Bruce and fell into a fit of laughter.
"It's him I don't trust." Dick sighed as he pointed at the laughing clown.
"We will be near if you need us, Bruce." Tim stated hesitantly.
Damian crossed his arm against his chest and frowned, he hated how his father always tried to protect them, and everyone else at that matter, by placing himself in the face of danger. They all did, but for now they had to- must- trust him; if anyone could understand the clown even the slightest, it was Batman.
The three young men gave Bruce on last look before heading to their respective rooms.
"So, Mr. Joker, I do hope you would stay true to your word." Alfred stated firmly.
"Sure thing, Jeeves. Why would I risk my date? There's a bigger picture here you know." The Joker grinned as he patted the old man's back.
"The name is Alfred. And I will try to stay optimistic for now." Alfred replied somewhat annoyed by the unfavorable position they were in.
"To-MAY-to, to-MA-to. St-EVE-nson, J-EEV-es. What's the difference?" The Joker chuckled.
'Arguing with a madman would just be bad for my health.' Alfred sighed inwardly.
"Master Bruce, if you require anything I will be down stairs." The butler was about to leave when he remembered, "Ah, Mr. Joker, the room beside the master's is already prepared as per your request. And forgive me, Master Bruce, for not taking your permission under the given circumstance."
"It is ok, Alfred. Thank you." Bruce smiled as he saw the old man leaving. His attention directly diverted back to the clown once they were all alone.
"Finally!" The Joker sighed, "Those kids should understand that Daddy and Mommy need some lone time, if you know what I mean – he heheeeeeee!"
"Would you stop that!" Bruce growled. Everything about the clown was tenfold annoying today: his grin, his laugh, his obscenity, and even the way he spoke!
"C'mon, Batsycakes. There's no need to be shy." The Joker giggled like a teen girl on her prom night.
"And stop calling me that or Batman or anything Batman related. Here I'm Bruce." Bruce pressed, "And would you give me a break, my head is throbbing."
"You people and names! Sheesh! You should chill out, Bat, or you will give your self a headache." The Joker grinned tauntingly.
If his whole body didn't feel like it had been hit by a train, Bruce would have jumped over the clown and beat the lights out of him. He knew that the Joker was doing this on purpose, just to annoy him.
"Did you come here just to torture me?" Bruce exhaled as he placed an arm over his forehead while slightly covering his eyes as well.
"He he heee! You have to forgive me Bats. Teasing you is so much fun that I keep forgetting my main goal." The Joker chuckled, "I'll stop for the sake of my brilliant plan, cross my heart and hope the birdies die. But calling you Batman or any resemblance to this name, living or dead is purely habitual. Oho hehe!"
'Can't even get sick without risking all of Gotham getting blown up.' Bruce sighed inwardly before his consciousness somehow managed to slip away, even with the clown constant rumbling.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! "reviews make me write faster" is not a myth, it's totally true! :'D
