Chapter 4: Ianto confronts Jack about Apanie. Apanie goes missing, and Gwen is surprised when Jack opens up to her.
I'm so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. I was doing so well with releasing one each day. My excuse is that this is a really long chapter AND it was ALL typed up on a Palm Treo 750. I start at uni on Monday and have had orientation this week, so please feel free to blame my university for pulling me away from my laptop and interesting, happy little Torchwood world.
AN ETERNITY Chapter 4
Sequestered away in his bedroom again, Jack didn't look up when the door opened. Softly masculine footsteps fell, echoing off the walls and the bitter-sweet scent of rich arabica beans filled the air. Breathing in deeply he smiled up as Ianto presented him with a hot cup of coffee.
"Thankyou Ianto"
"You look like hell…Jack" his name fell from Ianto's lips in an almost whisper, indicating the intimacy in the mundane gesture.
"I'm ok" he assured the man standing over him.
"It would appear otherwise" Ianto replied, taking a seat on the bed next to Jack.
"Who is she Jack?" he asked quietly and Jack growled whilst sending him a glare out of the corner of his eyes.
"She's a nightmare, that's who she is. A nightmare that keeps coming back and screwing with my head."
"You might have asked her to leave" Ianto suggested
"We want the technology. She wouldn't let me have it without letting her work on it with us."
"We could have used retcon, or an amnesia pill? Made her forget about the technology."
"It doesn't work on her. Nothing works on her. Nothing effects or affects her Ianto. The woman drives me insane."
Ianto watched Jack closely for signs of what his relationship to this woman may have been. It seemed however, that Jack was struggling with the same thing himself. Ianto could almost feel the frustration radiating off the man he loved. He placed a hand gently on Jack's thigh and turned more fully to face him on the bed
"Is she human?" Jack looked quickly at him and then away to the wall again
"Yes" Jack replied simply
"…do you love her?" Ianto's question was rushed and he shut his eyes so that he didn't have to see Jack's face when he heard. Jack turned and grabbed Ianto's face
"Yes…but it doesn't mean anything"
The statement confused Ianto, how could his love mean nothing? Did it mean nothing to him? Or did it mean nothing to her? His brain couldn't quite comprehend how loving someone could mean nothing. His brow was creased with consternation as Jack leaned forward to rest his forehead against Ianto's. Still with a hand on his neck, Jack shook his head against the other mans briefly. He gulped audibly and breathed in deeply before muttering darkly
"I want her out of the Hub"
And then he was off the bed and out the door, leaving Ianto stunned and affected by the clearly intimate but ever-more confusing situation that had presented itself.
Jack had gone in search of Apanie, readying himself to kick her out of the Hub and out of his life. Tired of fighting her on everything, tired of fighting to take their relationship further; she gave him nothing, nothing but grief and confusion and a gut-wrenchingly ill feeling in the bottom of his stomach. She refused to give into him and it was infuriatingly…attractive, he admitted in defeat to himself.
Entering the main area of the Hub he found Gwen and Owen had arrived and were enjoying a morning coffee with Toshiko. The three of them were laughing about something, but Jack wasn't looking for them and his eyes flicked around the area in search of Apanie. He couldn't find her anywhere and his heart plummeted as he realized she may have left. He wrestled internally with the fact that he was, in fact, searching for her in order to tell her to leave. But if she'd left of her own accord it would be another slap in the face for him to bear, and frankly he was tired of losing in this game they were playing. He felt constantly at a loss and out of step.
"Hey Toshiko, you know where Apanie went?" Jack called as he grabbed his coat
"No, I didn't know she'd gone" Tosh replied, hopping off her stool and heading back to her seat in front of the computer monitors
"Do you want me to pull up the CCTV images for the last few hours?" the images were up and Toshiko had tracked the Australian woman before Jack was out the door
"She went into the park about 6 blocks away. No sign of her since then. And Jack? Can you let her know that I think I figured out what the device may do?"
Jack looked torn between finding out what Tosh knew and going to find Apanie. His curiousity won out and he walked back over to Tosh
"Show me" he told her.
But when Tosh turned to the desk where she'd left the little pyramid device she couldn't find it. Her hands scrambled over the desk, shifting papers and swiping pens and a digital camera out of the way. She finally turned wide eyes to Jack
"It's not here. Apanie must have taken it"
"Of course she did" Jack huffed out, rolling his eyes and all but running for the exit.
Once Jack had left Gwen, Owen and Toshiko looked at each other in silence.
Tosh forced a small smile onto her face and tried to sound perky
"I suppose we ought to get to work then" she said, looking from Gwen to Owen
"Yes, that is what she should do" Owen agreed
"Work is very important" Gwen added as Ianto appeared
"We could figure out who she is" he offered quietly.
The four of them were close and acutely aware of the fact that their boss was a complete mystery to them. They all looked at each other for a few brief moments before surging into action.
Half an hour later they found themselves sitting quietly around the conference table with a single open file in front of them.
Ianto was going about making coffee and trying desperately to ignore the contents of the file.
Spread out the desk where a few old black and white photo's of Apanie in her 'younger days'. There, staring Ianto in the face was all the evidence he needed to figure out why love meant nothing. A single photo was worth a thousand words and Ianto's heart broke when he came across the picture of Jack and Apanie. It was a candid shot; a rarity in those days when cameras were only just becoming the property of average people.
"Well she's certainly aged well" commented Toshiko
"I wonder which anti-aging cream she uses" Owen quipped, eliciting a snort of laughter from Gwen.
"He obviously loved her very much" Toshiko noted softly, brushing a hand over the photo of Jack and Apanie. Gwen looked away quickly as a dull ache errupted in her heart, wishing not for the first time, that Jack would look at her so adoringly.
From his spot behind Owen, Ianto surveyed the photo again. There they were; 1945, the war was finally over and they appeared to be in the midst of the celebrations. Apanie was bent over, bright eyed and laughing intop the camera. Jack slightly behind and to the side with his arms around her waist. He was staring at her with a small smile and obvious pure depth of feeling. She didn't seem to have any idea, Ianto mused, wondering again at the prospect of someone actually not being completely and utterly attracted to, and returning the love, of Captain Jack Harkness.
Six blocks away, Jack found himself nearly running through the park in search of Apanie. He couldn't figure out where she might have gone, there was little more than a stone water fountain and a few bench seats in the entire park. Touching his ear-piece, he activated a direct communication link to the Hub.
"Tosh, you there?"
"I'm here Jack" he heard Toshiko reply after a brief moment that wasn't quite short enough to prevent impatience surging through his body.
"Anything on Apanie yet?" he grated out, frowning at the empty park around him as he turned in a wide, slow circle. He wanted to call her name out into the emptiness. He knew she was there, but he also knew from past experience that if she was preoccupied with the artifact, or anything else for that matter, she wouldn't reply. He could feel her presence somewhere around him, the small prickling along the back of his neck that he got whenever she was around let him know she was near. A niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach also made him doubt whether she would bother replying if she heard him. He didn't know what frame of mind she'd been in when she'd fled the Hub. He couldn't even be sure that she'd fled, or if she'd calmly grabbed the artifact and walked out the door too absorbed in her intellectual curiosity to fully realise what she was doing. He'd seen her do it before when she was thinking hard; she'd wander in front of a car, or stray to close to the edge of a cliff, or frustrate him so badly that he honestly considered himself a danger to the innocent naivete that seemed to have subsided somewhat over the years they'd been apart.
"No, sorry Jack. Do you want us to see what we can do?" Toshiko asked
"No, you all have too much to do without running around after her" he told her sharply, clicking off the communication device as soon as he'd finished talking.
Turning his face to the sky with his eyes closed, he breathed in the fresh air deeply a few times before deciding to head back to the Hub. Apanie obviously had no intention of being around him, or anyone else apparently, and she would only appear again once she'd sorted out her own thoughts and feelings in regard to the artifact, and he hoped, him.
"He can't find her" Toshiko informed the other members of the Torchwood team.
"Do you think she left?" Gwen asked Toshiko. Tosh shook her head. It was natural, she mused, that the others would think of her as the expert on Apanie Bara, after all, it was she who had spent most of the night with the newcomer. Tosh hadn't the heart to admit that she'd fallen asleep and it was, in fact, Apanie who had learned a great deal more about the artifact than she had. Besides that, Apanie hadn't taken any of her belongings, Toshiko was sure of it. Aside from the small pyramid, nothing else appeared to be missing.
"He'll be back soon" Ianto cautioned, knowing full well that if Jack couldn't find her on his own he'd come back to the Hub and work from there.
"We should really get some work done then" Gwen said.
A few hours later Jack entered the Hub. Ianto grabbed his long military coat before it hit the ground, watching him storm up to his office without talking to anyone. The others watched him out of the corners of their eyes, none of them liking what was happening to their boss.
Ianto stood there briefly looking mildly defeated before busying himself making coffee for everyone. When he offered Gwen her coffee she grabbed it with a smile and then grabbed Jack's mug too
"I'll sort it out Ianto, right?" she added another affectionate smile and headed up to Jack's office with both cups of coffee. Jack, she considered, was something special. Who knew exactly how far he'd been, what he'd seen and only God knew how many people he'd loved and been with…let alone alien beings. Gwen smirked slightly as she realized God may actually have lost track of all of Jack's lovers over the years, there was no doubt in her mind however, that Jack remembered each and every single one of them. She knew about Jack and Ianto. She just kept telling herself that she had Rhys, she had made her choice long before joining Torchwood and no matter how charming and how attractive Jack was, she was never going to be an option for him…not matter how much she may want to be. Ianto, stoic as ever, was holding it together well. Gwen had watched him closely the day before, watched as he'd struggled silently with Apanie's presence and the need to know exactly how close Jack and this woman had been…or still were. The tension between Jack and Apanie was palpable and Gwen was certain that Ianto was torn between maintaining a professional distance and wanting to demand an answer from Jack. She wasn't entirely sure how deep the feelings between Ianto and Jack were, but she was sure that their relationship meant a lot to the both of them, however much they tried to keep it a secret. While her heart ached to know that she wasn't an option for Jack, she had a fierce loyalty to the man, and to the other members of her Torchwood family.
She kicked a foot against Jack's closed office door, alerting him to the fact that she was there an unable to open it herself due to the coffee in each hand. When he looked to see who it was he jumped up and opened the door for her, grabbing a cup of coffee and attempting to shut the door on her again. She placed her newly freed hand on the door and gave it a rough shove to keep it open and then slipped under Jack's arm and into his office.
"Gwen" he ground out in warning
"No Jack, you're not going to get out of this like you normally do." Gwen told him harshly, taking a seat on his desk as he returned to his seat.
"You're sitting on my paperwork" he told her
"You won't be needing it while we're talking" she replied. He sighed and rested his head in his hands as he leant his elbows on the desk in front of him. Gwen took a small sip of her coffee and then set it to the side, turning slightly she gently rubbed his back
"C'mon Jack, this is really getting to you. It's impacting the team too"
"I'm sorry"
"It's hurting Ianto too, Jack." She ventured, unsurprised when he reached a hand back over his shoulder and grabbed onto her hand.
"I wish she didn't get to me the way she did" he apologetically told her
"Who is she Jack?" Gwen asked very softly in a placating voice, not really expecting an answer. When Jack spoke again however, she was pleasantly surprised
"I met her about 60 years ago in Australia. It was just before the end of World War II"
-Flashback-
Captain Jack Harkness had seen a lot of beautiful women in his time. He'd seen a lot of beautiful men too. The woman before him, however, was not quite the personification of beauty. In fact, Jack was quite sure that she wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen; she was far, far from it. She was the friend of a friend. Short black curls that hung to shoulder length, bright jade-green eyes, full lips and a dull, pale complexion broken up by two rosy cheeks. She wasn't thin, but she wasn't fat. She certainly wasn't tall. For the most part, Jack was sure that she wasn't someone that was of any interest to him. She was of Aboriginal descent, despite her white appearance, accepted only because she was white and the Australian government had 'successfully bred the Aboriginal out of her'. She was of the Gubbi Gubbi (people of salt-water territory) and still held tight to her heritage, fascinated by the way it linked her with the land, her ancestors and time. The way she spoke to him - with hushed tones, flushed skin and wide, bright eyes - of her heritage and her ambition to preserve the ways of her people; the passion within her, the internal fire that seemed to fuel her every action; her complete innocence and naivete that seemed to stem not from lack of experience but from a child-like interest in the world around her and being completely oblivious to people's intentions or expectations of her; she fascinated him and over the space of a few months he came to realise that this woman was perhaps the most beautiful creature he'd ever had the fortune to come across. There was something to be said for the theory that a beautiful soul could often transform the outer body if one could only look hard enough.
Looking for her one evening he'd found her sitting up on the top boughs of a wattle tree, it's small, puffy yellow flowers had left bright yellow pollen sprinkled through her hair and over her clothing. He'd laughed up into the tree
"How old are you again?" he'd asked
"I'll be 24 forever" she'd replied exuberantly, stretching her hands to the sky and giggling. Raising his eyebrows, Jack had chuckled
"24 forever, really?"
"Yes, 24 forever and ever"
"That's a mighty long time" he'd told her a little more seriously
"I know" she sounded almost subdued before reaching out a hand to him
"Come up, talk to me"
He'd looked at the branches of the tree and figured they were sturdy enough. He felt immature and childish climbing into the boughs of a tree when he was…well he'd lost count of how old he was now. When he'd settled himself close to her in the tree she leaned forward
"Tell me your biggest secret Jack?" she asked enquiringly, obviously not expecting him to tell her. Leaning forward to place his face mere millimeters from hers he whispered
"I can't die"
She snorted out a laugh that would later remind him somewhat of Gwen's, but at that moment startled him to hear such an unladylike sound
"Neither can I" she giggled. He thought she was making fun of him so he reiterated
"No Appy, I really can't die"
"Ok Jack. Neither can I"
"Apanie!" Jack was frustrated that she didn't believe him, never mind the fact that it really was quite unbelievable.
"Jack!" and she'd thrown herself out of the tree and landed at the most horrific angle over a large boulder at its base.
He screamed her name and jumped from the tree, coat flying out behind him. He thought years later that he must have looked quite like a very handsome super-hero leaping in to rescue a damsel in distress. Except the damsel was dead and his heart was pounding and the blood was rushing past his ears whilst tears streamed from his eyes.
"Oh God, no no no" he repeated over and over again, holding Apanie in his arms, stroking her face and her hair and pulling her to him.
"I can't die Jack" her voice whispered hoarsely, and later she'd teased him about how he'd yelped like a little girl when she'd wrapped her arms around him.
"Hell of a way to prove a point" he told her a few months later when they were on their way to Africa after the war had ended. She was excited about a new proto-human find in Africa that a friend had written to her about. Jack had decided to accompany her on the ship to Africa, finding it hard to part with her. They'd shared a bed on the ship, Apanie wasn't at all concerned about her reputation, but people assumed that they were married anyway; not that Jack minded, or did anything to correct them. In fact the way that he watched her, and the way she met his gaze every now and then, only helped to fuel the assumption.
She spent every night pouring over notes and letters, oblivious to him watching her for hours on end. She'd chatter away to him as though he understood what she was saying and the things she was referring to. They danced together on the deck under the stars, so clear back then, in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the inky blankness of night. Holding her close to him, eyes closed, he'd murmured how much he loved her, thrilled to hear the soft whispered reply sighing past his ear in return, felt her arms tighten around him as she pressed herself closer.
He nuzzled the side of her face, trailing gentle kisses from her ear towards her lips
"Jack…please. We're in public" she'd rushed out on a breath, pulling back from him. He'd looked closely at her, noticing that she didn't look in the least flushed like he himself felt sure he must look. Ever the gentleman he'd accompanied her back to their cabin where she'd stayed up most of the night reading a book and barely giving him a second glance.
The second time a chance to kiss her arose was in a room they were sharing in Africa. She was upset about…something – even later he'd still question what it was – and he was comforting her. In his arms again she was sniffling and chastising herself for being so weak, so much like a 'girl'. He'd been half-amused and half-concerned with her rambled mutterings.
"Thanks Jack" she said as she kissed him on the cheek. He'd cupped both hands around her face and stared into her eyes
"I love you App. You are not weak…you are most definitely a woman though" he told her with a charmingly teasing smile that she returned shyly.
As his smile faded he began to lean in towards her, watching her eyes slip closed and her breathing become shallow. His heart was pounding so loudly and wildly that he was sure she could hear it. As he slowly inched closer his entire body felt like it was on fire, finally, finally, finally after all these months he was finally going to claim this woman as his.
And suddenly she was pulling away and standing up, the look on her face was panicked and her eyes were wide with shock and sadness
"I can't I can't I can't. I'm sorry Jack, I can't" she said repeatedly, fleeing from the room after wrenching herself free of his grasp.
Still sitting on the bed he groaned in frustration. What in the hell was wrong with her? Why was she leading him on? He wanted so much to be angry at her, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't really about him.
"Jack, I love you" she told him quietly a couple of weeks later. Their room was quiet and he was standing in the doorway watching her pack some books into her leather satchel. When she'd finished she turned to him
"You know I love you don't you Jack?"
"Of course I do App" he'd told her, opening his arms to her. She'd launched herself into them
"I'm going away Jack and you can't follow me. You're a distraction and I need to be able to concentrate on my work"
"What about us? We were destined to be together" he told her, pushing her back to arms length and looking intently into her eyes, watching for any sign that she was wavering. Her tears said it all and he'd allowed himself to mirror the emotion as he pulled her back into him and kissed the top of her head once, twice, three times "Don't leave me App, please"
"I'm sorry" she told him through her tears "my work…it's all I have…it's all that matters" and she'd pulled away and pushed past him.
He ran after her, following her to the edge of the village they were staying in. She hadn't turned around when he called her, but every now and then he saw her swipe at her face. He knew she was crying, he was sure of it. But she never once looked back and at the edge of the village he stopped and watched her walk off into the desert, her satchel and a single water bottle her only possessions. He briefly considered that a part of him had just died, and he resolved to bury the feelings he had for her so deeply that she would become just a distant memory of an almost-future.
-End Flashback-
"Jesus Jack" Gwen breathed out, blinking back tears.
"So there you have it"
"She's the love of your life" Gwen said
"Well I wouldn't go that far" Jack hesitated to confirm her assumption.
"I would! Jack, you have got to do something about her! You have to sort this out. For yourself and Ianto, and no doubt Apanie."
"I know that" he snapped at her, standing up and heading to the liqueur tray to pour himself a brandy. His coffee was discarded and forgotten. He downed a mouthful and turned to her, resolutely deciding to have things out with Apanie. Fate had decided a long time ago that they were meant to be together, he decided, but Apanie had fought against it, and him. Well no more! He owed it to himself, and certainly to Ianto and Apanie, to sort this out once and for all.
Gwen saw the determination settle in his features and smiled, patting his arm
"You're a good man Jack. You'll do the right thing"
"What if she doesn't?" he asked stiltedly and Gwen smirked
"Jack, sometimes you aren't the right thing to do" she quipped, earning a smirk for her effort.
"Get back to work" he commanded in mock-fury.
Gwen grinned and headed for the door, turning when she reached it she said
"I'm always here if you need to talk Jack" and then she was gone, back down to join the rest of the team as they worked through lunch, and then afternoon tea. By 8pm, Jack was left alone in the Hub, and he had become increasingly worried about Apanie.
Feedback please? This chapter was seriously hard to write, and not just because of the Treo. I had to give Jack and Apanie a back story without writing another 10 chapters on them.
