The Aphrodite Method
AN: I really intended for this chapter to be about Zeus and Hera. But I thought that it was better to grace some explanations, especially about the blue and pink rings Aphrodite gave the couples. Rest assured, the next chapter will most definitely touch the topic of Zeus and Hera, by popular demand (based on the reviews on this story). So here's a chapter under Aphrodite's third person POV. Enjoy!
Chapter Four
Aphrodite
"Babe, can I come in now? I'm this close to sleeping on the lobby's couch, even if it means being bothered by your stupid cherubs." Ares asked from behind her bedroom door.
The love goddess snapped out of her internal reverie after hours of eyeing her crystal ball. The crystal ball had been her, say, TV screen or camera towards her current marriage counseling patients. It was connected to the blue and pink rings she gave the kings and queens in more ways than one. And it also helped her find out which one failed to achieve the first daily task.
All seemed to have done the task except…
Aphrodite laughed to herself before waving her hand against the crystal ball. Her eyes wandered towards the clock. It was already 2AM, but she wanted to find a miracle for the particular couple that didn't follow her instructions. She sacrificed hours meant for beauty sleep, not to mention the fact that she had to jar Ares out of her room to keep her from distractions. But alas, she paid the price – and so will the rebellious couple.
She finally opened the door to Ares, and when she saw him attempt to hug her – she raised a hand. The god of war frowned. He was nothing, if not the most impatient god she's ever met. But given the circumstances of her current marriage counseling, she ought to teach him the art of patience.
Ares opened his mouth to say something, but before he could speak, Aphrodite laced her arm against his and leaned into him.
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." She apologized in a silky voice.
The god of war grunted as he wrapped an arm forcefully around her waist, causing a light gasp to escape her lips. "You owe me, baby."
"I do." She nodded in agreement. "But first, I need you to do something for me."
"What's in it for me?" He asked her and the love goddess nearly laughed. Men. They think everything comes at a price.
Aphrodite released the arm she formerly held and carefully uncoiled the other that was wrapped around her waist. "You can have me all night."
This perked up Ares's interest, and with a grin he asked. "All night, huh? Fine. What do you need me to do?"
The love goddess couldn't help but return the grin her lover was giving her. The meeting with the three couples later should be a very interesting session to wake up to.
"Aphrodite!" an angry voice yelled from outside her bedroom, and with that voice, matched a loud banging against her double doors.
"Holy Hera, is that my dad?" Ares asked from beside her, stumbling carelessly off the bed as quickly as he possibly could before hiding his naked form in her bathroom.
"You call him dad?" Aphrodite couldn't help but laugh despite her want to resume her slumber. Ares wasn't kidding when he said he'd have her "all night". The whole endeavor left her with sore legs and a number of fresh hickeys near her breasts. "That is so cute!"
"Damn it, Aphrodite!" Ares exclaimed in a panicked tone from her bathroom. "It's not funny! Get the damn door before he strikes it with lightning. You don't know how cranky he can get in the morning. Shit, he's so going to find out what I did."
"Relax, will you? It wouldn't be the first time you stole something from him. Remember the master bolt?" She told him just as she was getting up. The loud banging continued, and when it was met with another bang, a female voice joined the complaints.
"What the hell, is that my mom, too?" The war god was losing all sanity now as he left her bathroom dressed in the clothes he wore last night. "Babe, I love you – but crap, if you get me in trouble—"
"You won't." She pressed as she wriggled into her satin nightgown, removing the creases off with well-manicured fingers. "Now open the door for me, will you? And stop acting so damn scared, baby. He'll know it was my doing."
Ares sighed, his shoulders slumping in the process. He then walked over to her and took her in for a searing kiss that left the love goddess breathless.
"Aphrodite, we know you're in there, and we demand an audience!" The female voice rang louder now, and Aphrodite could have sworn the voice reached more than just her own palace.
"Good luck, babe." Ares told her before letting her go and walking over to the doors. "You call me if you need anything else, alright?"
"I will." Aphrodite said in between giggles before blowing a kiss towards him. "Now open the door, love. We can't keep their majesties waiting."
And as soon as Ares opened the door, he was nearly run over by Zeus and Hera who entered as rapidly as they had knocked moments ago. Hades, Persephone, Poseidon and Amphitrite followed suit.
The queen of the gods turned to look at her son and Aphrodite before frowning, "Some marriage counselor you are, Aphrodite."
"Good morning mom… dad…" Ares greeted nervously at his parents, and ran as fast as he could after saying, "And goooooood bye!"
"What is wrong with your son?" Hades asked Zeus, and the king of the gods shrugged as if his son's behavior was normal.
"How may I assist you today, your majesties?" Aphrodite asked nonchalantly as she placed her hands on her waist. "Our meeting isn't until 10AM."
"I'll 10AM your face if you don't give me back my antique Peacock collection, you crazy bitch!" Hera fumed; her face nearly red from all that anger. The queen still carried a graceful air to her, despite her ire. But that graceful air disappeared when she tried to charge at Aphrodite, but the love goddess was fortunate enough to be spared when the queen's brothers, Poseidon and Hades, ceased Hera.
"And how dare you take away my Hercules Busts Heads Season 1 collection!" Zeus followed Hera's anger, and already Aphrodite was the tiniest bit scared. Just the tiniest. "That was a collector's edition that much to my dignity, I had to beg Hermes to get! What did you think you were doing?!"
"Hercules Busts Heads?" Persephone asked with a quirk of a brow. The rest of the gods followed suit, except Hera, who was still trying to release herself from her brothers' hold. "Seriously, dad?"
"Don't question him, dear." Hera warned as she grunted occasionally during her attempt to free herself. "He was obsessed with that show. We had to fight over the remote every night just so he can watch it."
"I warned you about getting the buzzer, your majesties." Aphrodite shrugged, as if it was normal to have her boyfriend steal his own parents' collection.
"Your buzzer was to steal their collector's edition?" Amphitrite questioned as she crossed her arms on her chest. "Okay, I guess that is extremely mental."
"Those were my babies!" Hera cried as she tried to bite Hades's arm off. "My poor little Peacock collection. Those were 1975!"
"Well, that's punishment for not doing the daily task." Aphrodite explained simply and with a snap of her fingers, three loveseats appeared behind the couples. "Have a seat, please. You must have gone through great lengths to wake up at this ungodly hour just to complain."
"Seriously, who steals collector's editions?" Persephone asked as she took her seat beside Hades in one of the loveseats. "If I had my Adonis figurines stolen, I'd go crazy too."
"I'd steal and blast them off the face of the earth, too, if she hadn't looked like her mother when I tried to touch one of them." Hades commented, and the love goddess saw him shiver.
She mentally sighed to herself. Given, she's been through these marriage counseling sessions with other immortal couples – but this time, it was different. The fate of Olympus – the earth, as they all know it – is practically in her hands if she doesn't succeed with the methods. But she severed herself to stay positive. Her methods have worked before. Who's to say it won't work this time?
"I don't just steal collector's edition items as you so lightly put it. I take away any material precious to the couple who fails to meet the daily task." Aphrodite continued as she leaned her figure against the floor-to-ceiling window. "And I will continue doing so until you've learned your lesson."
"It's like apprehending cookies from an innocent child." Amphitrite sniffed disdainfully. "It's crazy and obviously quite stupid, but it works."
"When do you suppose we can get them back?" Zeus demanded. Apparently, his temper hasn't dropped even a Celsius. "Cause that collection—"
"You can only get them back after the method is over." Aphrodite answered, crossing her arms. "You do realize that if you failed to do the task, you'll have to do it again on the next task. So if I were to ask both of you to argue like the meddling couple you are, you have to do it while cuddling and sleeping in the same bed."
"That's just crazy!" Hera complained, and just as she was about to charge at the love goddess, Zeus held her back. "What kind of sick, marriage counseling are you running? This is oppression of a couple's ability to improve!"
"If you want your belongings back, you'll have to wait till' the end of the method." Aphrodite repeated tiredly. "Until then, follow the instructions. Both of you will have to execute the first task tonight. If not, consider another one of your precious materials held back."
"Why didn't you do the daily task last night?" Poseidon questioned the couple. "What's so bad about cuddling?"
"See? At least Poseidon sees my point!" Aphrodite exclaimed with a wave of her hand. "Thank you!"
"You expect me to cuddle with the man who, by the way, had two children with a blasted mortal woman in both Greek and Roman form, slept with half the female population and ah, yes, let's not forget the fact that he blames me for acting so rashly about the prophecy." Hera vented as she counted her husband's mistakes with her fingers. "If you want me to give you more reasons, I'd be glad to give you a thousand scrolls of it."
"Well, if you put it that way…" Poseidon cowered to himself.
"Zeus, what do you have to say for yourself?" Aphrodite asked as she turned to the king of the gods, who looked like he was ready to smite someone with his master bolt.
Zeus frowned at the love goddess. "I thought you said there won't be any expressing of emotions in this counseling?"
"You're just avoiding the situation, dear." Hera spat at him.
"Hera," Zeus sighed in frustration as he massaged his forehead. "Don't make me chain you up in the sky again."
Hera pointed at her husband as she complained to Aphrodite. "Do you see what I mean?!"
"Rule number one: Settle your arguments in the bedroom. And no, not this bedroom. I don't need your meddling echoing off my newly-painted walls. You'd peel the paint off before you can say Styx." Aphrodite shook her head. "Point is, your majesties; you have unnecessarily delayed the process – therefore you must do it tonight, along with today's daily task."
Amphitrite groaned as she laid her chin on the back of her palm lazily. "Go on. Please do tell us what the next task is. You've already succeeded in ruining one of our nights."
Poseidon looked pained. "I thought you liked my cuddling."
"I do." Amphitrite smiled at him sweetly. Her husband grinned proudly to himself, but his ego was deflated when the sea goddess continued, "At least, when you're not drooling."
"The cuddling last night was uneventful." Persephone commented. Aphrodite arched a brow at the queen of the underworld. It sure didn't look like it to her when she spied on the king and queen of the dead in her crystal ball. Of course, the sweetness died faster than it started. "So whatever you have planned for tonight Aphrodite, rest assured it still won't help our tarnished relationships progress."
"Oh stop being so negative my adorable little lovebirds!" Aphrodite exclaimed as she walked away from her window. She then stood before the couple with a confident grin that, by the look on their faces, now scared them. "For today's task – I want you to embark on your day. Ask each other how their day was, what they did, where they went – and just… talk like some ordinary couple. And please, for the love of us, refrain from arguing. Again, I'm looking at you Zeus and Hera. If anything, you two need extensive couple sessions."
"Well, if it's the king and queen of the gods that truly need extensive couple sessions," Persephone began with a grin as she started to rise from her seat.
"Sit down!" Aphrodite scolded with a huff. "I meant for all of you to have these couple sessions. It just so happens that I have to try harder with these two reluctant love birds. Now that that's cleared up, does anyone want to ask questions?"
"I have one!" Amphitrite raised her hand, but before Aphrodite could say anything, the queen of the sea asked, "Have you ever tried using your Aphrodite Method on yourself, considering how you're such an unfaithful wife?"
"That's actually a good question." Poseidon agreed with his wife.
"Touche." Aphrodite smirked. "But that, Lady Amphitrite, is none of your sea-foamed business. Any more legitimate questions?"
"Was that not a legitimate question?" Hera insisted with a grin.
"Well, I do." Zeus declared as he cleared his throat. He showed the blue ring on his right ring finger. It made the love goddess cringe when she didn't see a wedding ring under the blue ring. "What the hell is it with this? It bites me at random moments! It's like a bite from a scorpion and it practically paralyzes you for thirty minutes."
"Yeah!" Poseidon complained as he showed his attached blue ring as well. "It bit my finger fifty times yesterday! What I don't understand is why Amphitrite never got bitten by it."
"Well, I did get bitten." Amphitrite admitted as she examined her pink ring. "Once, and then it was over faster than it started."
"Did you even consider a pattern after you've been bitten at random times or during the course of your fifty shades of painful bites?" Aphrodite laughed as she examined the couples. "Zeus, name one time the ring bit you while remembering what you did or thought of before it happened."
At this request, Zeus looked flabbergasted. But he answered, with very little strength his voice normally had, "I looked at a nymph."
Hera started to frown at her husband.
"Just looked at a nymph?" Aphrodite asked, raising a brow.
Zeus started to scoot far from his wife. "I… uh… not really looked. But sort of like…"
"I knew it!" Hera exclaimed as she pointed an accusing finger at him.
"You were imagining that nymph naked, weren't you?" Poseidon wagged his eyebrows at his younger brother playfully before grinning to himself. "Ah, nymphs."
This caused Amphitrite to smack the sea god's arm harshly.
"See, whatever thoughts or actions that hinders the progression of the method will cause the ring to bite you as punishment." Aphrodite explained as she took Poseidon's right hand where his blue ring was. "Exhibit A. Lord Poseidon, I dare you to think about Sally Jackson."
"Aphrodite—" Amphitrite interrupted, but the love goddess raised a hand to halt her.
After a few seconds of momentary silence, the sea god yelped, "Son of a bitch!"
Poseidon freed his hand from Aphrodite as he rose. He then started hop-skipping around the room while holding the finger that contained the blue ring.
At this, Amphitrite grinned maniacally. "Serves you right for thinking about that whore."
"She's not a whore!" Poseidon defended, but the ring must've bitten him again, because a string of curses in Ancient Greek followed his unwanted defense.
"See what I mean?" Aphrodite insisted as she presented Poseidon – who still hopped around the room like a big lump of fish – before Zeus and Hades. "Any thoughts on your mistresses, especially the… most outstanding ones: Beryl Grace, Sally Jackson and Maria Di Angelo – will cause the ring to bite you till' your thoughts disperse. But ah, that's not the worst."
"There's a worst?" Hades asked in disbelief.
"The worst part is the actions. If you so much as try visitation with your ex-mistresses or at least attempt to chase a woman you intend to bed – like what Zeus had said, it will paralyze you for thirty minutes."
"Did you seriously wanted to sleep with another woman yesterday?" Hera asked horridly, and Aphrodite could tell that the queen was trying to hide her pain. "Even in the event of this marriage counseling?"
"At least I restrained myself, didn't I?" Zeus defended himself before shrugging. "Besides, the woman was asking for it."
"Alright, well, that's that." Hera stated weakly as she stood up. As she was trudging towards the double doors, she hissed painfully.
Aphrodite eyed Zeus who looked worried when Hera was breathing heavily now. But when the queen of the gods ceased her painful whimpers, she opened the double doors and took off. A loud cry of disturbing pain echoed against the halls, matching the quick steps of the queen's escape.
Silence filled the void of Aphrodite's bedroom as everyone listened to Hera leave the palace in hasty, whimpering steps.
The love goddess turned to Persephone and Amphitrite. "I should also warn you, my queens, that you will be affected by the same curse your husbands receive from the rings. As you've observed earlier, Hera left the meeting before it ended. Seeing as the meeting is a part of the baby steps of the method, she chose to go against it – hindering her progress with Zeus. Don't think for a second that you wouldn't need to adjust to this."
Amphitrite and Persephone exchanged pained looks as they looked after the opened double doors where Hera had ran off to.
Persephone then turned to her father, frowning at him heatedly, "Well, don't just sit there! Go after her!"
The love goddess observed Zeus silently. There was a fine line between anger and regret crossing his features – one battling after the other for domination. But in the end, regret won and with a tired sigh, the king of the gods rose to follow his queen outside.
"So he's not that heartless after all." Aphrodite mused aloud.
"Oh, son of a—" Poseidon interrupted, surprising everyone in the room. He began hopping around the room again, wagging the hand that contained the ring.
"Is that how frequently he thinks of Sally?" Hades asked Amphitrite.
"We've got a long way to go." Aphrodite sighed, tired as early as seven in the morning. She was definitely going to need a mani-pedi… and a day at the spa; with the hopes that both should help soothe the stress of the marriage-counseling shenanigan Hestia put her through.
Honestly, won't anyone give the goddess of love a break?
AN: That's a wrap, folks! I sure hope you enjoyed it, and please give me some critical, lengthy feedback by commenting/reviewing on the story. -EMPG22HoPe
Next on "The Aphrodite Method"
With Zeus and Hera being the only couple that failed to meet the daily task, they must execute the failed task and the new task all together. Will they succeed, or will it turn out to be one hell of a stormy night for the king and queen?
This fanfiction can also be found on Wattpad under my username MDSummers.
