Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow them. Let's not waste the time on suing me, 'kay?
Edward escorted himself back to his chambers feeling annoyed and quite temperamental. How was he to suffer hours alone with Demetri? Was it not enough that his sanity was slipping from all of the emotional disorder and desolation from the past 48 hours? How was he to come to terms with anything when he would have to listen to that self-absorbed man's internal voice berating him?
Edward huffed and groaned his way through the passageways until he found himself back at his room. He threw open the door without attempting to hold back, nearly knocking it off its hinges. He stood there for a few moments contemplating how he was to endure the next few days with someone who annoyed him so.
After a few moments, Edward remembered he had yet to create a correspondence to send to his family letting them know his situation. Edward knew without doubt that Alice was completely aware of his current predicament, but he still wanted a chance to say his piece. His families' regard had always been exceptionally significant to Edward, above all, Carlisle's.
He began inspecting the drawers of his nightstand for a suitable writing utensil and some parchment. Edward found exactly what he was looking for easily. He ventured into his study, and had a seat in front of the hissing fire. He briefly wondered who it was that kept them lit. Quickly, he decided it was of no importance to him.
For a few moments, Edward's gaze was held by the wooden hearth as he contemplated nothing; his mind simply taking a few moments to rest itself and maintain its thinning grip on reality.
Edward began writing, deciding his letter would be concise, yet informative. He wrote:
To My Beloved Family,
I know you have all been extraordinarily anxious about my present situation, but, no doubt, Alice has informed you of the vision she had of Bella, and of my subsequent pilgrimage to Volterra to end my existence. Obviously, my suicide attempt was met with folly, as I am still here.
I am also sure that she has informed you of my current status as a member of the Volturi Guard. Rest assured, this was a decision that I came to of my own accord; although I might have been given few other options. Know that I am as well as you would expect me to be. Do not make waste of your time by coming to retrieve me, as I am not free to leave. I have indebted myself to service for the Guard for an unknown -yet seemingly lengthy- amount of time.
Please understand that I will see you all again in time. What are a few years to those of us that have forever? Recent events have reminded me of how very true that former statement is. Time continues and we remain.
This is the last contact I am allowed to have with you until my service is completed.
Thank you for understanding. I miss and love you all.
With Warmest Regards,
Edward
Edward re-read the letter several times. It pained him to think that it would be years before he would see his family again. Since he had been turned, Carlisle had been the only constant in his life, with the exception of the few years he ventured out on his own. What would Carlisle think of him now? Edward knew, however, that no matter what he did, Carlisle and Esme would welcome him back like the prodigal son he so often played.
He rose from the chair, and neatly folded the correspondence at two points so that it would easily fit into an envelope. Edward knew that whoever lit his fires would be able to get the letter to its proper destination. He left it sitting on his nightstand with reluctance, his heart breaking a little more at the thought of being completely quarantined from the family he had known for so long.
Abruptly, he was pulled from his contemplations by a knock at the door. He could hear the thoughts of the man on the other side and knew it was Demetri. Edward hurriedly threw some clothes into a suitcase that had been conveniently laid out for him by his bed before answering the door.
"E! How are you this exquisite morning?" Demetri asked of Edward. He promptly frowned and rolled his eyes.
"It definitely won't be in my top ten list of best days ever," Edward answered.
"Well, we shall just have to see if we can change that, won't we?" Demetri said, sidling past Edward into the room uninvited.
"Sure, come on in," Edward muttered sarcastically.
Demetri looked at the two bags Edward had packed. "I see you're all packed and ready," he said. I heard you rushing after I knocked. Not such a boy scout after all, leaving things to the very last minute, Demetri mentally chided.
"I was otherwise occupied, as if it were any business of yours," Edward responded, resenting the appellation.
"I wasn't intending to be intrusive, simply observant," Demetri snickered. "Not everything I say to you is meant to be taken as insult, E. In fact, none of it is. There are plenty of others here that are more worthy of your ire, do not waste it on me."
Edward—still quite irritated with his present company—said, "Let's get this over and done with." He strode by Demetri to pick up his luggage, but Demetri snatched it up before he could reach it.
"I've got these, E." Demetri grinned as he walked past Edward saying, "Just follow me to the car. I'll be driving, of course."
Edward obeyed and followed Demetri into the hall, but grimaced the whole way. Edward wondered what good it was being able to read minds if he still could not understand some people at all.
When Demetri thought, it was so loud and overbearing; Edward did not trust him. The older vampire seemed very obliging, yet his arrogance was off-putting. Edward hoped to be able to make use of the time he was being forced to spend with Demetri and learn his true intentions, as well as gain further information on the Volturi and their guard.
If he ventured to guess, Edward was counting on at least ten years he would be indebted to Aro, it not more. That being the case, he had every intention of using his abilities to their maximum capacity to learn each and every member inside and out. He would not truly have any companions during his stay, but he knew that the statement, 'keep your friends close and your enemies even closer,' was more than just an old saying.
Demetri led them to an underground parking garage that Edward had not seen before. "Sorry I didn't show this to you yesterday," Demetri apologized. "I thought, at the time, it might be too tempting. Do you have a preference?" Demetri gestured to the many different varieties of transportation that were hidden safely here for the Volturi's use.
Edward looked over the cars, trucks, and SUVs noticing they all had deeply tinted windows. The models varied greatly, as did the colors. Edward decided quickly that the only preference he had was that the vehicle was speedy, which he was sure they all were. "No partiality, as long as it's fast," he answered.
"Good answer, E," Demetri replied, walking over to what appeared to be a storage closet. The door was not locked—there would be no point to it—and Demetri opened it revealing several rows of keys, each of them numbered. Edward concluded they were numbered according to which parking spot each of the cars were in. Demetri chose number thirty-seven, and spun the key ring around his finger while tilting his head in the direction of the vehicle they would be taking. He picked up Edward's bags once again and said, "I'm glad you aren't too picky, because I already put my bags in this one." Edward snorted at the comment as they walked forward.
Demetri stopped at a shiny, silver Mercedes, not unlike the black one that Carlisle owned. He popped the trunk and Edward saw that Demetri had indeed already placed his luggage in this car. Demetri put Edward's bags alongside his and closed it. He then unlocked the doors, opened the passenger side, and held it there for Edward to enter. Edward appreciated that Demetri was attempting to be polite, but somewhat begrudged being treated like a female. Edward got into the vehicle and Demetri closed the door.
Once Demetri was settled in on the driver's side, he started the ignition and began the ascent out of the garage. They drove upwards a few moments before Edward could see the light of day. They finally emerged at a heavy looking gate that was flanked by two very human guards. Demetri nodded towards them and stopped at a metal keypad with stone casing. Demetri entered an eight digit code and the gate began slowly lifting. Edward filed away the security code in the event he ever needed it.
"I might as well have written that down and handed it to you," Demetri said while looking at Edward, who was attempting to look confused. "Oh, don't play innocent, E! It does not matter anyway, Aro wishes you to know these things. You are to be remaining here for quite some time."
"As though I need reminding," Edward said, sneering.
Demetri pulled the car into the street and shook his head at Edward, but did not comment.
"If you don't mind my driving fast, we should be to Milan in about 2 hours. I am already certain of the general area in which Salvatore will be in, and from there is should be fairly simple. The only problem we might encounter would be if he hears us coming and doesn't wish to be found. Aro was unsure of the extent of his abilities, which is largely the reason we've been sent to find him. He is already sure he wants him, but has not yet decided how far he would be willing to go to obtain this vampire's employment."
Edward nodded his head indicating he had heard Demetri, but was reminded of a question he had been pondering. "How does your ability work exactly?" Edward questioned. He had always been quite curious since Carlisle had first told him that Demetri did not track by scent, and could determine someone's location from another continent entirely.
"You know, that's a question I've often asked myself." Demetri briefly looked at Edward who had raised his eyebrows, and continued, "I just know where to find what I'm looking for. When I think of the thing I am seeking suddenly the information is….just there. I find it rather difficult to compartmentalize. I'm sure it is similar to when you hear thoughts. One moment you don't know that someone secretly counts the number of times they butter their toast, and then you do," Demetri snickered.
"But what is it that causes that knowledge to appear? Do you simply have to think of someone? Know their name?" Edward persisted, wanting to know more.
"I need to pick up on the substance, or tenor, of someone's thoughts, and it is almost as though I can visualize a map in my head. The person I am tracking shows up on it like a beacon. Generally, I just need to know a personal fact about the person I'm looking for," Demetri answered.
"Such as?" Edward said, waving his arm for Demetri to continue.
"I can't believe you're actually having an interactive conversation with me, E! This is momentous!" Demetri smiled widely. Edward tilted his head, giving Demetri an imploring look. "Ah, yes, sorry I momentarily forgot what we were talking about. Er, such as…a favorite color, someone's middle name, vices, pet-peeves… Virtually anything you would find in a personal ad," he finished.
"So, you have a lot of noise going on in your mind, too?" Edward asked quietly. He did not want other people to suffer as he did with all the chaos that commanded his mind, but was softened somewhat by the thought of having someone to commiserate with. Demetri looked at Edward with what seemed like regret.
"At times I do, E, but usually only when it's needed. If I'm not actively looking for someone the map is a blank parchment, but when I do call upon my ability, all the people existing that I have ever tracked come clear, and I have to direct myself to the one I'm looking for. It is quite chaotic at first, kind of like when you first lay out a map having no idea where to locate your destination. You have to seek it out, but once you have your location marked, you are led to exactly where you need to go. It is like I was born with pre-installed GPS, complete with turn by turn directions."
Demetri's eyes returned to the road and he said, "I am sorry I cannot understand fully what it is like for you. I do understand what it is like to hate yourself, however, and feel responsible for the death of someone close."
"How could you ever empathize? My situation is rare…"
"What is rare about love and loss?" Demetri snapped, interrupting him. Edward did not try to continue, and was somewhat taken aback at Demetri's quick change in temperament. He was also to some extent impressed that Demetri had learned so quickly how to block him from knowing what he was truly thinking. Edward attempted to get past his mental wall, but it stood firm, and he continued seeing flashes that did not make sense.
"Never mind, E…. I apologize for that. Do you need to hunt now that we are outside of the city?" Demetri questioned, his mood once again agreeable.
"It probably wouldn't hurt. I haven't fed in quite awhile. Will we be around many humans?" Edward asked.
"Quite a few, considering we're going to the opera this evening," Demetri answered.
Edward was confused. Were they not looking for a vampire? "What purpose will that serve?"
"It will serve our purpose quite well, in fact. Salvatore will be there this evening, and I haven't seen Turandot since its debut in 1926; which, by coincidence, was in the very same opera house we will be going to. Teatro alla Scala! Have you ever been?"
"I have actually never been to Milan. La Scala is a place I have wanted to visit for quite some time. Turandot has my favorite aria, Nessun dorma, although I was rather let down by the English translation. The words just aren't as meaningful as the music. I adore the way the music crescendos and swells and you feel as though you may burst with it," Edward said talkatively.
"Calm down, E! I would have mentioned it much sooner if I had known what a positive reaction I would get from it. Remember, we have a job to do first and foremost, but a little fun never hurt either. I take it you're a musician?" Demetri asked the younger man, while he delighted in Edward's excitement.
"Yes. I play the piano and enjoy composing." Edward was instantly deflated when he began thinking of his most recent composition--Bella's lullaby. He was then reminded of why he was stuck in this place and the event that led him here. Had it really only occurred two days prior? Demetri noticed his abrupt change in disposition.
"Everything leads you back to her, does it not?" Demetri asked rhetorically. "Is there nothing that makes you happy that does not remind you of her?"
"No," Edward mouthed with no audible sound passing his lips. He wanted to scream, but his voice failed him.
Even being invincible did not make him immune to heartache. Edward cursed himself once again. How could his body be so impenetrable, yet his heart so easily shattered?
Demetri pulled over on the side of the road in front of a wooded area. "There should be something in here you will find edible. I'll wait for you," Demetri told Edward.
"Thank you," Edward said while exiting the vehicle. He ran into the woods wanting to hide away from the raw emotions he had allowed Demetri to see.
Edward realized he had not fed in a few weeks. He rapidly found a few deer, draining them without thought. Once he had had his fill, his wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist, and swiftly returned to the car.
"That was quick," Demetri commented.
"I didn't want to put us behind schedule," Edward said.
Demetri pulled out onto the road again hastily. "Tell me about your ten best days, E. You already stated today wasn't one of them." Edward did not feel like playing this game.
"They were all with," Edward paused, unsure as to whether or not he could say her name, "B-Bella."
"All of them? There is not one day you would list amongst your best that occurred without her? I find that hard to believe. Can you remember when you were human? Think back to the days before you hated yourself."
Edward closed his eyes in concentration, and allowed his head to drop back onto the seat. His human memories were very unclear and hard to recall. Demetri did not speak or think in words. He simply hummed a simple tune that echoed in his musings, allowing Edward to reflect.
After several moments, Edward spoke, "I remember once when I was twelve, my mother gave me a wonderful gift. My family was not poor, but my parents could not afford extravagant gifts either.
"I had begun taking piano lessons as soon as I was old enough to read, probably since about age seven, and I always had to visit my Aunt Ann's house to practice on her piano because the one we had was hopelessly broken.
"I grew up in Chicago, and there was this lovely shop in town that had a beautiful piano for sale. The wood was so dark and reflective, and the ivory of the keys was so inviting. I swore to my parents I had never wanted anything so badly in my life. It's very funny how selfish kids can be," Edward stopped for a moment, and laughed remembering his mother's exasperated look every time they passed the shop window.
"My parents had few things of value, but my mother did have a few Cameos that were worth quite a bit. They were old, and had been given to her by my grandmother. Mother sold a few of them, and on my twelfth birthday I came home from school to see my piano set up and waiting for me. I had known that my mother had sold some of her jewelry, but I had had no clue it was for me. I was immediately filled with guilt." Edward snickered again.
"But not so much you told her to return the piano, right?" Demetri chuckled.
"You're right," Edward said, a true smile spreading across his face. "My mother was so happy that she could do that for me. I can see her now, smiling and proud of my musical accomplishments. Sometimes I think of all I could do for them now… But that would be impossible wouldn't it? Even if they had survived the Influenza they would be long gone now," he finished.
"That is where your problem lies. You look upon your past experiences with thoughts of what could have been instead of what was. That beautiful memory of your mother made you smile, E…really smile. That is why we are given the gift of memory. Not to torture ourselves or dwell upon regrets from the past. You are shaped from the good and the bad, and you would do well to forget neither. It is very simply stated, yet, I know, quite difficult to do. As I have mentioned before, it took me close to two centuries before I learned the proper balance, but you do find that place, E, where you can smile without guilt," Demetri stated seriously.
"I don't deserve…"
"Tell me about one of the best times you had with your Bella," Demetri interrupted. "And don't think of what cannot be changed, E. Think of what it was that brought you bliss."
"I am not ready…"
"You are more than ready. You are almost one hundred and five years old. Time for you to live. Tell me about her," Demetri interrupted yet again.
Edward was conflicted. Demetri obviously had been around for quite some time, and—as was seeming to become the norm- he had a way of making brutal sense that Edward did not think he wanted to hear. Of course, his selfish side wanted to get past all the self-loathing and guilt and desired to be happy, but Edward had always had a gift for controlling the monster within. He felt being content in this life would be taking advantage of his wicked existence. Vampires should not exist, and he felt every day he still walked the Earth was an abomination.
Demetri, sensing Edward's musings, asked, "Why do you hate yourself, E?"
"Because I should've died a very long time ago. Because my base instinct is to murder. Because it is my fault that Bella is dead," Edward replied.
"You did not choose to be immortal. You do not murder. You did not kill Bella," Demetri said simply. Edward scowled. "You cannot hate yourself for merely existing, E. It's not a very valid reason. Do you hate me? Do you hate Carlisle, or your family?"
"No, but…"
"Good," Demetri said, once again cutting Edward off. "Now, tell me about her."
Edward sighed. His head was reeling, but he finally decided it best to concede. "B-Bella was…exceptionally….clumsy," he started slowly. He thought of all the times Bella would trip, and how he was there to catch her every time. A wide grin finally broke his monotonous scowl as he looked over at Demetri. The older vampire returned the expression, and the pair spent the remainder of the journey speaking of the joy Edward had found in his short time with Bella.
Edward did not grimace, scowl, or sneer the rest of the drive.
The pair arrived at their hotel in the early afternoon. Demetri guided the car snugly underneath the protective awning in front of the door, and both vampires exited being shaded from the sun's revealing rays. Demetri checked them into their suite, and handed over the vehicle's keys to the valet as a bellhop gathered their luggage from the back.
Edward was a bit apprehensive when he realized he would be sharing a suite with Demetri, but his fears were quickly abated when he found their quarters with two separate rooms that shared a sitting area. He knew he did not require sleep, but still craved solitude which would have been difficult had there been only one bedroom.
The drive to Milan had somewhat changed Edward's view of Demetri. He still felt Demetri was arrogant, nosey, and all too forward, but not as tyrannical as he had always assumed the Volturi Guard were. Demetri had compelled Edward into speaking of things he would have never voiced on his own, and he was unsure of how he felt about that. He guessed he could add pushy to the list of Demetri's character traits.
Edward missed Bella, and painfully so, but when he took a moment to reflect, he realized he felt better than he had before leaving this morning. He smiled to himself, and could not help but to feel a twinge of remorse as he did so. Things would be so much less complicated had Aro simply granted his request for a merciful death.
Once their luggage had been brought up, Edward took a few moments to familiarize himself with his temporary living arrangements. The sitting room was incredibly lovely with its cavernous ceiling and warm neutral colors. The back wall was entirely glass, giving a breathtaking view of the city. He did not pay much attention to the kitchenette or bathrooms, knowing they were of no importance to him. Demetri had also been perusing the rooms, and the two men met in the sitting room where Demetri lazily stretched himself out on the sofa.
"So I know the clothing you have is limited. I realize you didn't have any luggage upon your arrival in Volterra," he paused to quietly laugh, "and what you do have was hastily obtained. You'll need something formal for the opera this evening."
Edward groaned. He despised shopping for himself, and Alice had always bought him everything he needed. "Shopping is not something I enjoy," he replied.
"I'll take care of it," Demetri said, as he jumped smoothly from the sofa. "I can arrange for casual clothes, as well."
Edward caught flashes of himself in various types of clothing as though Demetri was trying to flush out what would look best on him. He was familiar with the thought process, as he had seen a similar method from his sister on many occasions. However, Edward was not familiar with the flash of white he saw followed by what appeared to be his bare back. Edward thought it odd, but it was gone as abruptly as it had appeared. He decided not to comment.
"All right then," Edward affirmed. Demetri nodded and quickly made his way out the door.
Author's note: Thanks for taking the time to read! Review if you feel like it. : )
So. What's one of the craziest things you could imagine seeing in one of those personal ads? What is somebody selling that you totally aren't buying?
Thanks for reading! :)
