((Sorry if the formatting's completely screwed up, I'm really trying to thwart the odd little uploader.))

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"Evanesco."

"Gah! That little –"

"Who? Whattie?"

"Snape just erased everything on my paper!"

"He what? Prongs, you'll never guess what just happened!"

"Sirius, I'm trying to sleep! I was up till three last night diagramming Quidditch moves, and you know History of Magic's the only class with a professor who doesn't take points off if we sleep."

"Hasn't stopped Petey yet..."

"True."

"But I digress. Guess what just happened!"

"What?"

"Snape's wife ate Moony's popcorn!"

"Padfoot, you fruitball! That's not what I said!"

"Wait, you mean to tell me Snape has a wife?"

"What? Who's got a chihuaha?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep, Wormtail."

"Mmm."

"What do you mean Snape has a wife? I don't even have a wife!"

"Moony, what in the name of my mother's best socks were you doing with a bag of popcorn in the middle of History of Magic?"

"I said Snape erased my paper, not that his wife ate my popcorn!"

"AHA! So you admit he has a wife!"

"It's a chihuahua, I tell you!"

"I thought I told you to go back to sleep."

"Do chihuahuas eat popcorn anyway?"

"Oh, they'll eat anything. My aunt had one once."

"But would they marry Snape?"

"Yeah, really, who would marry Snape?"

"A chihuahua."

"A rabid chihuahua."

"Great, so now Snape's rabid?"

"Yup."

"That's cool. Oh, by the way, my mailman's a vampire."

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Before you have me carted off to the asylum, I'd like to say that there is actually a story behind this ... this. Which means that if you take me, you'll ha ve to take half my algebra class along with me. Ah, well, they probably need it.

Also, I'm aware that 'fruitball' isn't a word. It just seemed like the appropriate thing to throw in there. Call it creative license.

On a mostly irrelevant note, Thanksgiving was this past Thursday and I got to have – you guessed it – Pumpkin Pie. Maybe it sent me a subliminal message to update... Ee.

Disclaimer : Characters courtesy of J.K. Writing courtesy of me. General idea courtesy of Jorge, Footless Person, and Grim Reaper / Hannah. Vampire mailman courtesy of Sid.

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Reviews would be welcome! )