Author's Note: My sincere apologies for the late update.
Standard disclaim apply.
::Chapter 4::
The next morning, Kaoru opened her eyes to a somber Sano looking down at her.
She yelped in surprise.
"What are you doing here? Don't look at me when I'm sleeping, you stalker!" she exclaimed, clutching her thundering heart. "Gah, don't do that! Scared me to death!"
Sano gave a reluctant grin. "Sorry, my bad," he apologized, but he kept a careful eye on her.
Puzzled, she tilted her head in question. "Is there something wrong?" she asked quizzically.
Sano shook his head as he turned away. "Stay here, I'll go tell the nurse you're up for breakfast," he said as he walked out.
"Well, it's not like I can go anywhere by myself anytime soon anyways," she muttered under her breath.
What was his deal anyways?
She rolled her eyes at Sano's strange antics and stretched, yawning.
"You look like a lioness," came an amused voice.
She choked and coughed.
As a concerned Kenshin rushed over to pat her back, she glared at him mid-cough.
"What is it with everyone this morning?" she asked, annoyed. "Did you all eat something wrong this morning? Freaking everyone is scaring me shitless."
Kenshin chuckled.
"I'm guessing Sano's been in, then," he asked, but it seemed more of a statement to Kaoru.
Rolling her eyes, she nodded. "As soon as I opened my eyes, Sano decided to give me a minor heart attack."
Kenshin gave a noncommittal nod. "He hasn't said anything?" he asked, nonchalantly.
Kaoru looked at Kenshin with piercing blue eyes. "Was he supposed to?"
"No. Not in particular," Kenshin replied, smiling.
Kaoru stared at him for a long moment with suspicion in her eyes. "What is going on, Kenshin?" she asked, serious.
Before he could reply, however, Sano himself stalked in with her breakfast. He glared at Kenshin as he set the food in front of Kaoru.
Sano smiled down at Kaoru as he helped her sit up. "Special request just for you. Your favorite, clam chowder soup with oyster crackers."
Kaoru instantly brightened, beaming with excitement. "Wow, really? I haven't had really good clam chowder in ages! Thanks, Sano. You're the best!"
"Yes, I know," he replied cockily. Then, abruptly, he turned to Kenshin. "Can I see you outside?"
Kenshin gave a short nod and followed Sano out.
Something was amiss, but what? she wondered, as she slowly chewed the contents of her delicious soup.
As she ate her food, she could barely hear Sano and Kenshin's voice from through the closed door.
It sounded as if Sano was arguing with Kenshin.
But what would they have to argue about?
Something definitely was amiss.
Shrugging, she concentrated on her soup. Surely one of them would break down and give her the details later.
Kaoru jumped at the sudden intrusive voice.
"What about Tomoe!" Sano yelled.
What about Kenshin's fiancé?
Kaoru stopped eating and strained to hear more. However, Kenshin replied very quietly and she couldn't hear his reply.
But soon enough, there was a click as Kenshin opened the door and walked in.
Kaoru presumed the angry, retreating footsteps belonged to Sano.
"So, why is Sano so angry?" she asked, as she brought a spoonful of soup to her mouth.
"Just a minor disagreement, no worries," Kenshin smiled reassuringly.
"I don't think I've ever seen you two disagree over anything."
Kenshin gave a noncommittal sound and shrugged.
An awkward silence fell upon them.
Kenshin was the first to break the silence.
"Actually," came his quiet, calm voice. "The only other time he was this angry was when we broke up…"
"Huh?" she looked at him blankly.
Kenshin stared out the window with a small reminiscent smile on his face.
"Yeah," he continued. "He thought I was a douche bag for giving up."
"Well, it had nothing to do with him so…" she replied, raising the cup of soup to sip on, as she tried to ignore her clenching heart.
"He's mad now 'cause I broke off the engagement with Tomoe…"
Kaoru dropped the cup of soup, shocked.
She yelped as the content of the soup flew in all directions.
"Oh, my god!"
Kenshin laughed. "You're making a habit of this."
"Yes, well, you're making a habit of shocking me every time I have something in my hand it seems," she retorted back. "Grab me a towel, won't you?"
Chuckling, he handed her a towel.
Kaoru proceeded to wipe the soup off herself.
"So," she began, unable to meet his eyes. "Why?"
Kenshin leaned back into his chair. "Why what?"
"Why break off the engagement?" she asked, glaring at his calmness.
He sat in silence for a moment, looking at the nervous form of Kaoru as she absently wiped at her clothes.
"Must you ask?" he asked quietly, willing her to look at him.
When she finally did, sadness was apparent in her eyes.
"Because of me?"
Kenshin reached for her face. "Yes," he whispered, rubbing his thumb softly along her lips.
"You didn't love her?" she asked, looking deeply into his eyes, seeing the lingering pain there.
"…I did…"
"Then, why?" she asked, closing her eyes against the pain.
"…because I love you, too."
At his words, Kaoru felt both elation and sadness twirl around her heart.
She closed her eyes. Just a little bit…I just want to be selfish…just for a little bit…that's all I need.
Kaoru grasped Kenshin's hands in hers.
Opening her eyes, she looked deeply into his eyes.
"Then, is it ok for me to hold onto your hand?" she asked, though already knowing how this would end.
Kenshin smiled. "Of course. So, don't let go anymore."
Stupid Kenshin…
Kaoru smiled, hiding her sadness from him.
Even if Kenshin didn't, she knew the outcome of their relationship. It would end before it began.
Kenshin gathered her close in his arms, settling himself beside her on the bed. As she struggled against her tears as she snuggled closer into him, he pressed gentle kisses into her hair.
Suddenly, he pretended to gag, breaking the somber atmosphere in the room. "You should wash your hair."
"What?" she exclaimed, too, caught up in the moment that Kenshin had created. "I just washed it last night!"
Kenshin gave an innocent look as he shook his head. "Nope, can't tell at all. Come on, let's wash your hair. I'll even sacrifice myself and shampoo for you."
Kaoru rolled her eyes. "Sure. The last time you attempted to help me with anything ended up with you tickling me crazy and with me peeing my pants!"
"Oh, yeah!" he exclaimed, remembering, as he doubled over with laughter. Mid-laugh, he could barely make out a, "and you had to borrow a pair of my jeans!"
Kaoru giggled, too. "Yeah, it was the most embarrassing moment in my entire life!"
Gathering her in his arms as he carried her to the bathroom, he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "It was really cute."
"Yeah, sure," she retorted. "What guy thinks a girl who pees her pants is cute?"
"No, really," he insisted, grinning.
Kaoru looked away. "Then, you're just weird."
Kenshin laughed. "Maybe."
Kenshin spent the rest of the day by Kaoru's side, and the next, then the next. But the more time he spent with her, the more Kaoru grew sadder.
Each morning, Kenshin would come visit her, spending endless laughter with her. Slowly, but surely, her broken bones were on the mend and she would leave the hospital soon.
She was happy with Kenshin, but at the same time, she grew sad knowing that there were moments he would think of his fiancé Tomoe. She could see a distant look in his eyes at those instances.
Yes, I know how this will end. God, just let me hold onto a few moments…that's all I ask.
Each moment Kenshin spent with her, she preciously drew each memory, hugging it to her heart.
These memories, she would pull out in those moments that she needed him the most.
Each laughter they shared, each physical contact they made, each smile he gave…she drew them in as if moth to a light source.
Finally, the day came when she was fully well to leave the hospital.
Kenshin came to help her gather her stuff. He would be bringing her home.
"Have you packed everything?" came a voice at the door.
Upon seeing Sano, Kaoru let a bright smile escape. "Hey!"
Grinning, Sano walked in and proceeded to noogie Kaoru.
Kaoru smacked his arm away. "Stop treating me like a kid!"
"But you're so small!" he exclaimed, teasingly.
"Mou!"
Kenshin chuckled. "Stop teasing her so much, Sano. She's gonna grumble all the way home."
Studying the already sulking form of Kaoru, Sano replied, "Perhaps. Anyways, I've already checked her out."
"Thanks."
Sano didn't reply right away, instead stared down at Kenshin.
"Don't thank me," Sano retorted. "I'm not doing this for you."
"I know," Kenshin replied quietly. "Still, thanks."
"Can we go now?" Kaoru piped up from the background, impatiently.
Both men smiled and chuckled at Kaoru's childish antics.
"Yeah," Sano smiled at Kaoru, ruffling her hair. "Be careful on the way home, alright?"
"Again," Kaoru replied, rolling her eyes. "Not a child."
"Ok, ok. Still, be careful. Don't come back here in pieces again. I may be a great doctor but even genius doctors get tired of putting Humpty Dumpty back together again," Sano said in a teasing voice.
Kaoru stuck her tongue out at Sano. "Say what you will. Let's go, Kenshin!"
She breezed out the door and the two men waved a hand in goodbye.
At the lobby, Kaoru exited the hospital and inhaled the warm spring air. Two months in the hospital really was too much.
Excited by the newfound freedom, she suggested they walk the couple blocks to her home.
The long way home, she thought sadly.
It would give her the perfect opportunity.
With a heavy heart, she clutched Kenshin's hand in hers.
"Kaoru, is something wrong?" Kenshin asked in concern.
Suddenly, Kaoru got a sense of déjà vu. This feeling…a repetition of years long ago…the first time they had broken up.
The first time round, she had let him go, not wanting to hurt anymore and not wanting to hurt him anymore.
This time round, she would have to let him go…because of the love he held for another woman that held him down.
She knew how this would end, had known from the beginning. Their relationship always had an end. It was a fate that she could never change it seemed.
In the end, whether she let go of him now or later, his love for Tomoe would destroy the love Kenshin had for Kaoru. And vice versa.
Kaoru laughed bitterly.
"Why," she began. "…why is ours one that always needs to end?"
Kenshin stopped. "What?" His voice had grown quiet, strangely quiet.
Kaoru smiled at Kenshin, sadness apparent in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
Puzzled, Kenshin looked down at Kaoru questioningly. "For what?"
"For doing this to you once again…"
"Doing wha— "
Even before he could finish his sentence, Kaoru brushed off his hand that held hers.
"Go."
"What are you saying?"
"Go to her, Kenshin."
"To who?" although he already knew the answer.
"Your fiancé."
"My ex-fiance."
"You still love her—"
"—No!" he denied harshly.
But she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "—I can see it in your eyes. You know…you get this distant look in your eyes, and I know it is in those moments that you're thinking of her."
Kaoru smiled.
"You're going to do this again to us?" Kenshin asked quietly, angrily.
Kaoru understood his anger. "Yes," she whispered. "I have to. You still love her…"
"I love you!" he yelled, not caring about the curious glances they were receiving. "I chose you!"
"No!" she screamed. "I got hurt! You were obligated!"
"Stop! I love you! Don't do this!"
"I have to, don't you see?" she begged. "If I don't, you're going to regret it."
"I won't!" he insisted.
Kaoru looked deeply into his eyes. "But you already do."
Silence fell upon them. Curious onlookers stole glances at them as they walked passed.
"That's not your problem. It's mine. You don't understand."
Kaoru knew, had known, his answer. Yet, it didn't stop the hurt from gripping her heart, threatening to rip it apart.
"No," she replied sadly. "I would grow to hate you since you wouldn't be able to love me with your whole heart just as you would hate me for not letting you go…"
"No," Kenshin replied coldly, shaking his head. "I can't forgive you for breaking my heart a second time. Loving you wholeheartedly…I had already begun to...you should have trusted me. Goodbye, Kaoru."
Kenshin pushed passed a shocked Kaoru and disappeared among the string of people.
"I had already begun to…"
"I had already begun to…"
He had already begun to…love me…only me…Oh, my God. What had I done?
She twirled around, searching desperately for Kenshin.
Red hair!
He was just up ahead, crossing the street…and the…
Deep dread filled her heart as she saw a truck swerve around the corner, heading straight for Kenshin.
"Noooo!" she screamed, pushing past the hurdle of people.
Without a second thought, she shoved Kenshin out of the way, once again flying through the air.
"Kaoru!" came a scream.
She saw the dark clouds moving in on the clear, blue sky in slow motion as her body flew into the air. No sound escaped her.
She closed her eyes against the world, shutting it out.
A breath escaped her as she fell into darkness as her body hit the hard, cement street of New York.
Shaking hands grabbed her hand as a pool of blood formed around her head.
Kenshin…he's…ok…
Then, she smiled gently into the cold concrete street and she sighed a breathe of relief. And let go.
"Kaoru! No! No! NO! NO! NOOOOO!"
Author's End Note: I am going to request readers don't comment until my final chapter since I already have the final chapter planned out. Thanks! XOXO, loveholixx
