Authors note; Heyy guys so here is chapter 4 and i would like to say a big thank you to my new beta Taurus Pixie who is awesome and lalesha Bellas pov; As soon as I watched Jacob go I felt guilty but I tried to push it down telling myself I had no reason to feel like this as I had done nothing wrong. However I couldnt stop thinking about him which made me feel even more guilty because here was Edward telling me how much he loves me and here I am thinking about my best friend. Bella, are you ok?"Edward asked in a concered tone which made me melt and forget (well almost) about Jacob. "Umm, yeah. I am just a little shocked, its loads to take in. I cant just take you back because it would be wrong to myself and to you but I still love you" I sighed feeling myself blush. Edward looked relived yet upset but as always he put me first and said "I understand, I will give you all the time in the world. I will always be here for you Bella, I love you" I felt really bad now because I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted me to say it back but the truth was I still loved him but I wasnt sure if I was in love with him. But he still made me feel special and like I was the only girl in the world so that must count for somthing but that annoying voice in the back of my head kept saying I was in denial and I loved someone else. I could feel a headach coming on. " Yes, I know Edward. So, what made you come back anyway?" I asked trying to change the subject. "I couldnt stand it any longer, I had to see you. It was agony each day and everything reminded me of you, I honestly couldnt get you out of my head. Whats a man without a heart?" He replied his intense golden eyes burning into my mine and I couldnt help but shiver. "Well since you have been honest with me I think I also owe you the truth, I will tell you everything but please dont blame yourself because I over reacted so dont feel guilty. When you left me in the forest I couldnt think of anything but you, I called your name for hours while stumbling around convinced it was all one big game and you would come back. However as time went on I knew you didnt want me and wouldnt be coming back so after tripping on a branch I just lay on the floor slowing accepting everything and waiting to die. I didnt want to live without you but some time after that Sam came and found me and brought me home. I was like a zombie, barely eating, sleeping and talking. After giving up on my friends my life became a chour, somthing I HAD to do rather than somthing I wanted. Everything was pointless and the only thing that kept me going was my parents and even than I wasnt my self, more like a shodow or ghost. Finally, I found Jacob and he was like my own person sun, my shining light, my happiness. Bit by bit and day by day I found myself not thinking about you as much, getting better and becoming me. Then a few weeks ago the nightmares stopped and I found myself not even hurting anymore, the hole had gone and I was healed. I owe my life and so much more he has made me the person I am today" I explained. Edward looked stunned as if he couldnt believe what he just heard and I also saw a trace of guilt which I felt biad for causing but he deserved the truth. "Bella, i am so sorry. I feel like i monster-" he began before I cut him off by throwing myself at him and hugging him tightly. I felt so happy and content in his arm, he always made me feel so safe and protected. Part of me was yerning to be in another mans arm but I quickly squashed that need by telling myself that we were only friends, best friends and nothing more. "Edward please dont feel guilty because you have done NOTHING wrong, yeah you left be but I acted like a drama queen but it was just that when I fell for you I fell hard and very fast" I said trying to sooth him. I knew he didnt believe me but he gave a small nod anyway wrapping his arms tightly against me which made lean into him some more. "Do you love him?" He murmed and I instently felt my heart beat pick up knowing full well who he was talking about but asked who anyway. " Jacob" he replied in an umemontional tone. Oh gosh, what should i say? The truth, ok honestly. " As a friend, I owe him my life" I said carefully. " Nothing more?" Half of me was chanting yes but the senisable side reminded me that Jake was my best friend and with the whole imprinting thing so many things could go wrong. "Nothing more" I comfirmed firmly. He breathed a sigh of reliefe and kissed my head softly, his ice cold marble lips making me shiver with pleasure and coldness at the same time. Suddenly, I heard the door bang and before i could register what was happening Edward was in front of me in a protective crouch with his teeth bared... Authors note: Dun dun dun... Also review it I am aiming to get to 31 before my next update because 245 people have read it and i only have 25 reviews but thanks to the people who do. Also love you lalesha xoxo