Little White Lies and Inaudible Cries
Once back in the galley, Usopp appeared to be as white as a bleached sheet. Hardly anyone noticed; they had more important things to worry about, like shielding their food. He idly took his seat next to Chopper, who had taken up a conversation with Robin about herbs, and pushed his food far away. The sharpshooter was too utterly confused to eat anymore. Nothing made sense. Albeit, it probably wasn't his business to intrude or even think about the subject, but this was...concerning. Usopp wondered what happened before he showed up at "Master Sanji".
"Usopp?" the reindeer frowned, "what's the matter? You haven't touched your rice milk...and you love rice milk!"
"I'm just not feeling that hungry. I lost my appetite."
"That's okay; I'll get it back for you," Luffy announced, quickly stretching his arm over to the marksman's plate. Nami slammed a wooden spoon over his hand and scowled. She motioned for Usopp to get on with the reason for his lack of hunger, but he shook his head nervously. Blurting something out that he didn't know the entire story to wouldn't be helpful. But then again, was there even a story to this? Robin smiled at him; oddly it was reassuring yet bone-chilling. Nevertheless, she didn't bother to speak.
Usopp sighed deeply, "I...is...does something seem off to you guys about Sanji-kun and Zoro lately? You know, since the witch came?"
"Beside the fact that Zoro's not as much as an asshole now, and Sanji-kun's got some new anger problems, no," Nami shrugged.
"Think about it; what did the witch take? Does any of us actually know?"
Silence emitted from the table, aside from Luffy's vigorous chewing. Chopper remembered the sadness Zoro was giving off yesterday in the infirmary. He didn't seem to be in pain, though. "I gave him a check up and nothing came up broken or infected," Chopper confirmed.
"Perhaps it is something in a more spiritual or emotional sense," Robin thought aloud. Luffy swallowed the large mass of starch and wiped his mouth with the back of his (throbbing) red hand. He stared blankly at the older woman as he asked what she had meant. "For instance, maybe Queen Azami took away his ability to be happy. Or his ability to care. There are various possibilities. How could we ever figure out what is troubling him?"
"We'll just have to try everything," the captain stated seriously, tipping the rim of his hat over his face. He always did look menacing when he did that, Usopp thought, even if he did still have bits of food on his face.
:~:
Nami saw Zoro sulking down the hallway, heading for the bathroom. Since the swordsman took on the responsibility of watch for the whole day, his potty break would be the best time for their convoluted plan to proceed. The navigator sighed; sometimes she envied how Luffy's brain worked, and the other times, well, she wished she could fix it.
"Ne, Zoro," she called cheerfully, stopping him in his tracks. Zoro looked over his shoulder cautiously; when Nami sounded happy, it never benefitted him in the slightest, or anyone. He grunted flatly in acknowledgment. "I've got terrific news for you!"
Zoro blinked. "For me? Not concerning me or financially draining me?"
She flashed a big smile (though her annoyance peaked at that question), "Of course not, silly! In fact, you'll be happy to know that I've decided to let you off the hook about the debt. Consider it water under the bridge."
"We'll need something happy," Luffy said, scratching his chin in thought, "Something that'll make even Zoro jump up and down."
Chopper frowned; nothing really excited the swordsman, and everyone knew this. Perhaps it was because he didn't have many tiny problems in his life. "Would a flu shot make him happy...?" he asked doubtfully. Usopp shook his head. Receiving a huge needle through your skin positively wasn't enjoyable.
Robin tapped Nami's shoulder lightly, "I know of a way to tickle him pink."
"Hm?"
"His debt to you is rather...large, correct?"
Nami stared into space as realization soon hit her. That's what Robin was suggesting...? "No way! I'm not dropping the debt just to figure out what the damn idiot's problem is! It's MY money, and I don't get hassled for anything."
"I'll pay you back," Usopp announced suddenly with his hand raised for attention.
"You'd pay 300,000 berries for a plan that might not work?" Chopper gasped. Then his eyes sparkled brightly, "AWESOME!"
Zoro's eyes widened, and he cracked a toothy smile. Questions rose to the surface of his mind, but asking them would surely ruin this moment. No catch, no threats, no replacements? He was simply estatic. However, while he was celebrating by himself, Nami watched in disappointment. Well, she still got her money eventually either way, but it seems Zoro could still be happy.
"Thanks, Nami. I don't know what made you change your mind, but I'm glad it happened," Zoro grinned. As he turned back toward the bathroom and opened the door, Nami placed her hand on the piece of wood. Surprisingly, it seemed like Zoro tried to close it fully, but couldn't for some odd reason. She didn't dwell on it. "Actually..."
"We've got happy covered, but now we need something sad. Zoro holds in his emotions really well," Usopp stated. The archaeologist chuckled darkly as she refreshed her coffee by the counter. Luffy looked up at her, "What's so funny?"
"Well, I was just thinking," she giggled, "that maybe Nagahana-kun wouldn't have to pay the debt after all, and how sad Kenshi-san would be if Navigator-san suddenly took it all back."
"...I need the money, so forget everything I just said. No hard feelings, right?" Nami smirked, throwing her hands up in a shrug. Zoro observed the wickedness practically glowing off of her with a sullen expression. He should have known, really. This was the devil temptress that conned big businesses daily. How could he even believe something that was too utterly fantastic to be true? With a sigh and a mutter of "bitch," he patiently waited for Nami to remove her hand, which she did timidly. Weird, normally she would have had to whip it back as fast as lightning if she didn't want broken fingers...
Luffy strolled into the hallway casually, holding two broken katanas, split in half vertically. They needed something that would infuriate Zoro, but not something that would crush him for life, like purposely breaking Wadou. Shusui and Sandai Kitetsu were as valuable as a trusted weapon could be, but they were not Zoro's treasure. "Are you sure this is gonna work?" Nami whispered as she tugged on the captain's stretchy ear, leading him out of the hallway.
"Yep," was his only logical response.
After a few pretentious minutes, the running water shut itself off and Zoro walked out onto the deck. The first thing he realized was how much sunnier it got in the last twenty minutes. The second had to be Luffy, who put on the most sheepish, sorrowful expression he could muster; the look he normally gave when roughhousing hurt someone accidentally. The swordsman scratched behind his ear as he stared expectantly at the captain, waiting for him to say what he wanted. It wasn't until the unfamiliar lack of weight on his left hip, and the two demolished katana in Luffy's hands pieced together in his mind that his eye lids practically soared into the sky.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he bellowed angrily.
"Ne, I'm sorry, Zoro! They were just lying around-me and Usopp were playing Tag and I stepped on them, and they snapped!"
Zoro clenched his fists tightly, his face was flushed in anger, and his breath hitched noticeably. He needed to punch, to kick, to bite something, though he wouldn't dare hit the captain, and Nami was also out of the question. Not only did she have nothing to do with this, but he physically couldn't without revealing his "problem". Not to mention Sanji would...
Sanji...
He shivered suddenly, all anger dissipating. He didn't even want to think back to this morning, or last night, or the cook in general. His stern words still rung in his head. I better not catch you ditching a meal again. I may not go easy on you next time, Marimo.
"It's...it's fine, Luffy," he stated, taking a deep breath. Sure, he'll need new ones, which means his debt will grow, and he broke his promise to the old man about caring for Shusui, but he supposed anger wasn't the way to go about this anyway. Zoro just hoped Luffy wouldn't try to hand them to him; he'd drop them, and probably fall as well. Then something seemed off. If she growled when in blood lust, begged when a fight broke out, shook just before she pierced skin-
"Kitetsu isn't screaming," Zoro claimed softly, "Those aren't my katana."
"Huh?" Even Nami appeared to be extremely surprised.
"We need something cute, too," the captain announced, pointing a finger in the air. Everyone blinked at the pointless idea, since Zoro didn't necessarily think anything was cute.
"Why?" Nami frowned.
"Ne, if something's cute, you feel an emotion, right? We need to see if he lost that emotion!"
This was simply useless, Usopp thought. What could possibly exceed the swordsman's perspective of that? Certainly nothing on the Going Merry, as far as they knew. Robin hummed lowly, an idea springing to life. "Kenshi-san is rather fond of the doctor, yes?" she questioned.
"Me? Why me?" Chopper asked with a trace of confusion.
Robin giggled, "It's clear that he thinks of you as a little brother. We could use you in some way. But what?"
While Zoro was busy inspecting (without touching) the mysterious swords that suddenly showed up, tiny hooves trampled along the deck towards the three of them. As soon as Zoro took his eyes off the weapons, Chopper was in his line of sight. And what a sight it was. The young doctor wore a green striped cloth around his small waist, his usual dark red pants were replaced with a pair of black slacks, and he was actually wearing a shirt; a white one with three buttons at the top, no less. His hat was absent on his head; his large antlers stood naked. A square of dark green cloth was tied around the doctor's upper arm as well. Chopper's nose twitched as he smiled up at the expressionless swordsman, who was too much of a man to admit he was melting in the inside.
Nami snickered at the sound of Zoro swallowing nervously. She had to give praise to Robin for her stitch work.
"...What are you wearing?" He couldn't stop the dumb question before it left his mouth. The more important question is "why".
"'Cause I thought it would be cool to dress like the greatest swordsman in the world," Chopper grinned wider, making his eyes sparkle like Usopp suggested.
Nami clapped her hands together, "AW~! Don't you think it's cute, Zoro?"
"C...cute? I-I suppose, I mean, if that's what he was going for," Zoro shrugged. On the inside, he was smiling so hard, not even Mihawk slicing through him again could ruin it.
"What if he just doesn't care?" Nami asked, thoroughly examining her fingernails. "I mean, it's a possibility."
"Well, then I guess we'll need to figure out if he still can care, too," Luffy declared.
Something came hurdling out of the ship at full speed, flailing and yelling incoherent words. Further inspection revealed that it was Usopp running rampant like a damn manic with something hanging from his nose. He ran up to Zoro with tears in his eyes (even further inspection revealed that it was just a closepin on his nose) and he dropped to his knees limply. "ZOROOO! HELP MEEEE!"
Zoro scoffed lightly, "No."
Usopp blinked. Was the care plan a success, or was Zoro just being a jerk? "Aren't you gonna help?"
"No, m'not."
"Please?"
"No."
"...Really?"
"Yeah." Zoro wasn't being mean on purpose, he just doubted he could pry it off at the moment.
The sharpshooter pursed his lips as his eyes narrowed slightly. He stood up and brushed himself off at the knees, clearing his throat as he yanked the closepin off of his nose with a loud snap. Usopp glanced down at Chopper (God knows he'll feel awful about this) and quickly nudged him with his foot between the Merry's safety rails, knocking the reindeer off-balance. Chopper squeaked before he fell, splashing into the water and sinking like a bland block of cinder.
Zoro's jaw dropped in horror. What the fuck was he thinking?! "Ch-Chopper! Usopp, you jackass! SAVE HIM!"
"Oh, no. Chopper has fallen overboard. Whoever shall save him?" Usopp said tonelessly. Zoro growled as low and menacing as he could in Usopp's direction. The longer they stood there, the further Chopper would sink. They needed to hurry.
"Usopp, GO! Now!" he shouted heatedly.
"Stop wasting time," Nami scolded.
"I'll get him," Luffy declared, heroically plunging in the water before the navigator had the chance to remind him of his stupidity.
"Zoro, quit fooling around and save him like you normally do-"
"I CAN'T, ALRIGHT?! I...I..." Zoro sighed as his hand shakily found its way to his marimo-like hair in a desperate attempt to resolve the current life-threatening situation. His chest heaved, almost as if a panic attack was liable to happen at any minute. It wasn't like him to lose his cool while a serious problem in progress needed leadership, or at least command. "Bandages...Usopp, you have to save them! I'm not fully healed; my bandages would be ruined!"
Shocked that Zoro would let somethings so feeble as bandages stop him, Usopp had no choice but to jump overboard. Nami placed a worried hand on the first mate's shoulder, who immediately looked at her. Concern was obvious on her features, along with disbelief. Zoro didn't even know where to start. "Maybe you should go lie down. I can make Usopp take watch," she said softly. Nodding, Zoro stalked back inside the ship, towards the men's quarters below deck. His hammock sounded pretty comfortable right about now.
Robin emerged from behind the mikan grove with her arms delicately crossed, and a long stream of arms threw Chopper and Luffy back onto the Merry, perfectly dry. Usopp, however, was soaking wet as he used the built-in ladder on the ship to climb back up. He tried not to let it show how pissed he was, but it was rather hard when you had water in your lungs.
"It would seem that our plan didn't work," the archaeologist sighed, dropping the two Devil Fruit users less than gracefully.
"Yeah, maybe he just doesn't want to agitate the wounds by doing too much. That would explain him wanting to be on watch all day," Nami clarified.
"Zoro doesn't have any; he's been perfectly healthy since Alabasta, "Chopper frowned in puzzlement.
Nami folded her arms under her breasts, "Then why is he wearing bandages?"
"What bandages...?"
:~:
Zoro awoke to the sound of numerous feet trampling the poor floorboards of the Merry, and the various shouts of something similar to "the window" and "mine". The porthole beside his head indicated that it was almost sunset, meaning lunch would be served soon. Zoro dreaded how he would act in front of everyone, especially since he sat directly across from the cook. More importantly, he could barely get the bathroom door open without Nami's help earlier, and breakfast was a hassle since he had to keep forcing his arm muscle to bend and move in order to eat. He wondered briefly if anyone would even notice his struggles at the table.
As the call of lunch resounded around the ship, Zoro wasted no time in (carefully hopping out of bed. His stomach was roaring to be fed, but also in tight knots. He eyed the doorknob wearily before clutching it, jerking his arm back for it to open. The door didn't seem to coƶperate. With a deep intake of breath, Zoro eventually got it to crack slightly, and he used that advantage to shimmy his foot through, along with the rest of his body. To hell with closing it.
Zoro didn't need to worry about the galley door, seeing as it was always open when the crew ate. Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp were viciously devouring their meals as the girls chatted about something Zoro didn't want to know. Sanji watched him enter and sit down from the sink as he washed his hands then dried them. Zoro knew he was being watched, and, frankly, he was doing his best not to scowl at the bastard.
He must have spaced out. Before he could blink, Sanji was standing right next to him, placing his plate down on the table. Zoro couldn't hide the flinch he made from the sudden closeness, and just settled on avoiding the cook's face and other possible criticism. Luckily, no one else caught the rigid movement.
"Oh, my. I hadn't realized my tea had gotten so cold. Cook-san, may I have more?" Robin asked lightly as Nami talked on.
Sanji smiled as he took his seat beside Chopper, "Of course, my lovely swan, but my feet are killing me. I'm sure Zoro would love to get you a refill. Wouldn't you, Marimo?"
It felt as if Zoro had been punched in the guts once those words registered. Nami and Robin were looking at him in surprise, and he reluctantly put his spoon down. Zoro wanted to unleash the raging fires of Hell deep inside him, but he only let out a harsh breath. "Yeah. Sure. I, uh, need the extra exercise anyway," he lied.
But what about your so called wounds? Nami thought internally. She tried not to show how unimpressed she was, but it proved to be difficult considering the stinging betrayal that Zoro actually lied to them. The swordsman stood and strolled over to the stove, where the still hot, tea-filled coffee pot sat. He stared at it like it wasn't what it seemed, like a parasite had sprouted out of the handle. It was almost entirely full; no way he'd be able to pick it up. Zoro felt the light steam mocking him as he reached hesitantly for the handle, and drew back after a moment's thought.
"...I-I just remembered my...fingers are still sprained. Do it yourself, sh-Uh, cook," Zoro stammered, crossing his arms irritably. Sanji flashed a quick smirk at him, "You're already right there, mosshead. Just pick it up."
"They're your "lovely ladies;" you do it."
"Zoro, could you just get it over with?" Nami interjected impatiently.
Robin clicked her tongue, "Yes, I'd like my tea now."
They were beginning to get suspicious; well, at least Robin was. He couldn't keep bantering with Sanji like this. Eyes closed involuntarily, the swordsman forced himself not to grind his teeth in annoyance and shame. His fiery gaze landed on the smugly grinning blonde man with his legs crossed. "Coo-" Sanji gave him a disapproving glare, which made him swallow the occupational nickname instantly. "Sanji, could you do it yourself...? Please?"
Forks, spoons, and silverware in general dropped once those foreign words left his mouth. Zoro's cheeks flared at the over-dramatic scene, along with the seductive wink he received from the blonde. Sanji stood as if nothing was amiss, as if the ferocious chewing that normally occurred hadn't ceased, and gave Robin her tea with a dazzling smile. Zoro sat back down and forced himself to eat, ignoring the odd burn in his stomach. From what, he had no clue, but he wasn't sure if he hated it or not.
Dinner basically ended the same way. The humiliation of some simple task being asked of Zoro, (in this case, opening the wine bottle) though he had to turn it down obviously and politely request, no, beg the cook to do it instead. All for the sake of keeping his inability to lift things a secret. The burning in his stomach grew when Sanji reached over his arm and slightly brushed his suit sleeve against his bare skin on purpose, increasing in intensity. But that wasn't what was concerning him at the moment.
Zoro stood in the corridor, torn between sleeping in the storage room or in the men's quarters. He thought he'd be emotionally stressed if he were in the same room as the cook, but with the others around, it was more likely he could sleep without worry. What if Sanji was...expecting him to go into the storage room? Zoro grinned despite the serious situation; he wished he could see his shocked face later, but he wasn't going to risk it.
Men's quarters it was, then.
