Chapter 4

"Occlumency?" She asked, Lupin almost thought he could hear a bit of confusion in her voice, but with Rogue, you could never be sure. She never showed any obvious signs of emotion, but as he got to know her more, he noticed the little things.

"It's a way of controlling your mind. Are you familiar with the concept of telepathy?" At this Rogue and Harry nodded their heads, "Good, then think of occlumency as a sort of telepathy, wizards and witches use their magic to reach out their minds and enter into the minds of others." Lupin explained.

"You'll be taking classes with Professor Snape once a week when school starts," Professor McGonagall informed Harry and Rogue.

Rogue's initial response was 'no way in hell', but before she could voice that thought aloud Professor Xavier spoke in her mind.

"Rogue, wait, don't be so quick to dismiss this opportunity. I know you're scared about other people poking around in your mind, but your telepathic shields should be strong enough to keep them out while you develop your mind even further. This may be the only way to control all of us, all the personalities you have in here. You may even learn to draw forth our powers or even to control your own," The Professor hardly ever chose to speak, preferring to let Rogue have at least that small part of her mind back, but when he did speak, Rogue had always found it best to listen.

Lupin was watching Rogue closely throughout the confrontation, looking for any signs of what she thought about the added class. He saw her open her mouth, as if about to speak. He had been expecting this, expecting her to openly refuse to take the classes, so what happened next surprised him. Instead of speaking, she closed her mouth and went into one of her space like trances. He was sure he wasn't the only one to notice her periodic lapses of reality, but so far no one had asked her about it. These trances appeared to be more then just thoughtfulness, instead, it almost seemed as if she existed in a different reality, one the real world couldn't penetrate. Her trance was shorter that usual, Lupin was sure he was the only one to notice it, and when she re-awoke to reality she simply nodded her head, giving her consent to the class.

Rogue was a mystery, and one that had no interest in revealing its secret.

"You guys get to take occlumency lessons?" Hermione practically squealed when Harry told her the news. Ron just looked confused.

"Dumbledore says it will help with my nightmares, and hopefully help Rogue from going all wolfie without a full moon again," Harry explained, "Though I wish we didn't have to learn from Snape, another hour with him each week is not what I needed."

Harry's disappointment came from more then just his usual dark regard of Snape, he hated the thought that his time with Rogue during these sessions would be ruined by the Professors presence. Taking a quick glance at Rogue, he was disappointed to see that she didn't seem to care about this, but then again, even if she did it was unlikely her facial expression would give it away.

Harry tuned out Hermione as she babbled on about occlumency, only vaguely noticing that Ron was using Hermione's speech as an excuse to stare at her openly. Someday, Harry thought absently, he was going to lock those two in a room full on condoms, maybe then they would finally realize their mutual feelings for each other.

/

After a hectic morning and a few hours travel, Rogue finally found herself seated on the Hogwarts Express, glowering at anyone who tried to talk to her. Not only had she and Hermione been the only one's ready to go at the appointed time, but after finally escaping from the confines of a packed car, she was forced through the heavily crowded station, Lupin trailing after her giving her some last pieces of advice and making her promise to write him right away and tell him if anything was wrong. Lupin's constant fussing and attention hadn't helped matters either, he had started acting like a dad to her or something, and she was almost positive she saw a glimmer of tears in his eyes just before the train pulled out of sight. Despite her dislike of all the attention she was receiving from him, she couldn't help the warm feeling that crept into her heart when thinking about the older wizard. She had never had a dad before, Logan had come close, but he had never shown his affection for her as openly as Lupin was. She had wondered briefly what would happen if the two of them ever met, both of them protective of her and both with traits of the wolf in their blood. 'Their like the perfect couple,' she mused to the people in her head. She smiled inwardly at the agreement of her friends and the denial of the two parties in question.

The slight reprieve Lupin's antics had allowed to creep into her mind didn't last long. She had found herself looking around the station with the vague feeling of loss, it was when she realized that she had been looking for Tonks, that she had been hoping the other woman would be there to say goodbye, that her previous glowering mood returned with redoubled force. She refused to let herself get emotionally attached to someone she had only spent a few short hours with, even if they did share some sort of magical wand link, or any other traits in common. She had a scattered memory of looking up at Tonks through a haze of bloodlust and anger, a memory that when their eyes met some of those harsh emotions had frozen briefly and been pushed aside, but she figured that it was some memory of Lupin's, or something compiled from a scrambled mix of memories. She could never be sure anymore.

/

After traveling for several hours in the packed compartment, she was already beginning to regret her decision to stay with the Wizards. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, a boy named Neville, and a girl named Luna were packed into the small compartment with her, promising that the trip to Hogwarts would be cramped and loud.

It was no wonder she was in a bad mood, and the voices in her head didn't help matters, oh no, they made things so much worse.

"Look, Ron's got the joker, I saw him take it from Luna," Kurt insisted.

"That was a total fake out, Luna's still got the joker," Todd argued back.

"Shut up both of you, it's just a fucking joker- now shut the fuck up so I can get some fucking REST!"- yeah, Rogue was REALLY not in a good mood.

Somewhere in Rogue's mind she registered the compartment door opening, but her outburst had caused several of her voices to act up more, while some of the others tried to shut them up- making even more noise and confusion in the process. It wasn't until she felt a hostile hand grab her shoulder, a little to close to the neckline and her skin for comfort, that she jerked back to reality and lashed out without thinking.

/

Harry had found a new hobby, something even better then Quidditch, something much much better. He was watching Rogue. Not all the time mind you, just random glances out of the corner of his eye, tiny peaks that were becoming more and more frequent with each passing minute. At the moment she was withdrawn from the group, her eyes unfocused and glazed over with a shimmering greenish glow. Though she was looking in the general direction of the card game Harry could tell her thoughts were elsewhere, and despite what his common sense was telling him, Harry couldn't keep from hoping that she was thinking about him.

Harry had drifted into a his own inner world of thought but the sound of the door sliding open pulled him back to reality. 'Shit' Harry had been to absorbed in his not-so-smooth staring at Rogue to remember that every year around this time a certain someone, someone in the form of an extremely unpleasant boil infection, always seemed to drop by.

Harry had wondered once if Malfoy had a crush on him or something. Every year, every single year Malfoy had sought him out at the first opportunity, as if being deprived of Harry's presence for the summer was too much to bear. And then Malfoy always picked fights with him, teased him, or simply belittled him to no end. Harry knew that little kids tended to tease the ones they liked rather then put any effort into being nice to them, and Harry definitely had doubts about Malfoy's maturity level, so he wouldn't put it past him to copy this younger example. But then Harry had realized that this was Malfoy, Draco Malfoy he was thinking of, and laughed his theory off. Malfoy hated him, it was just as plain and shallow as that.

"What do you want?" Harry snarled as he stood up and pulled out his wand.

Malfoy looked calmly back, not bothering to draw his wand, his goons had already pulled theirs. His eyes roving the compartment, Draco stopped on Rogue, "You've picked up another freak this year I see, and I have to congratulate you Potter, I think she surpasses Luny."

"Get out of here Malfoy," Harry felt himself shaking slightly, "I won't warn you again."

"You've gone soft Potter, I get warnings now? A woman's touch maybe? That freak your girlfriend Potter? Is that really the best you could get? Pity." As Malfoy was speaking he reached out a hand towards Rogue, before Harry could lunge at him (and partly because of Neville, who was trying to look brave for Luna, had tried to jump Malfoy and fallen onto Harry instead), Malfoy's hand landed on Rogue's shoulder and everything changed.

Throughout this encounter Rogue had been firmly engrossed in her thoughts, not seeming to notice the newcomer, but the moment Malfoy's hand touched her she reacted. Malfoy went flying back into his cronies knocking them all over. He struggled to get to his feet but was having trouble breathing with the wind knocked out of him. Rogue advanced on him, and Harry swore he say Malfoy flinch.

"Don't Touch Me." Rogue's voice, normally emotionless, had turned icy and dark.

Harry has a sudden mental image of a lone iceberg lost in the dark ocean, black water surrounding it and threatening to pull it under. Harry was sure that if he could see her eyes, the iceberg would be swept under the waves, never to return to the sun. Malfoy must have thought so to because the next moment he was gone, disappearing into another compartment and sealing the door.

Rogue closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her voices had finally shut up and for once it was quite. Breathing slowly, Rogue relaxed her mussels and forced her emotions back under the surface. That had been to close, another half inch and he would have touched her skin. Her zoning out had gotten worse lately, ever since she had first touched that wand. If it continued to get worse she could end up hurting even more people then she had already. She needed occlumency, and she needed it now.

/

"I'm supposed to be teaching you two occlumency this year, or at least, attempting to teach it," As Snape's greasy voice dragged on, describing the basic principles of occlumency, Harry stole another glance at Rogue. She had been silent ever since her outburst on the train, and no one, not even Luna, was brave enough or crazy enough to comment. Rogue had stalked through the double doors of the Main Hall and sat down without so much as an interested glance at the ceiling, glaring at anyone in her way. The only thing that seemed to lessen her dark mood in the slightest was the news that their first occlumency lesson was going to be that very night after dinner.

"Ready Potter?" Snape's voice had changed from a dull lull to a sharp knife in milliseconds, "Get out your wand, boy."

Rogue felt a little bad for volunteering Harry to go first, but she needed time to collect her thoughts if she was going to do this. Her momentary joy at learning that she was going to get her wish about occlumency had come to a screeching halt when Snape mentioned that it required a wand to practice. She had to make sure that her carefully constructed barriers wouldn't crumble under the combined stress of the Snape's spell and her wand. To do that she needed complete concentration as well as anything she could learn from watching Harry. Harry proved not to be much of a help however, as time and time again Snape emerged with a smirk from Potter's mind, he almost looked as if he was enjoying tormenting Harry.

"Enough!" Snape commanded at last and Harry collapsed gratefully onto the floor.

"Wand ready?" he asked his other student, normally performing occlumency this often in such a short period of time was immensely tiring to any wizard, but Harry had proved even less apt at it then he had expected, crumbling easily with the slightest push. Snape waited for Rogue to pull out her wand, he thought he saw her shudder slightly as she grasped its length and withdrew it from her bag but he must have imagined it. No one disliked the feel of a wand in their hand, in fact, most Wizards and Witches never wanted to let their wands go, but then again, when had a witch ever carried a wand at the bottom of her schoolbag instead of in a pocket or purse?

"Ready sir," Rogue said, her voice seemingly indifferent to her situation.

Snape raised his wand and yelled the spell, expecting her to offer even less resistance then Harry, she had only been practicing magic for a week or two after all. Snape threw his mind at Rogue, throwing all his energy into tearing through her weak defenses and into her inner thoughts, or at least that was the plan. Those weak defenses turned out to be solid walls of iron, iron that he crashed into at top speed. Snape's consciousness was thrown back into his own mind with a deafening (to him) crash. He felt his knees weaken and begin to buckle but managed to pull himself back together in time to steady himself and stand firm.

"How, how on earth did a muggle like you learn to do that?" Snape breathed, his voice slightly weaker then he would have liked.

Rogue had been standing as if unaffected by his attack, "I guess the muggle world prepares you for this sort of thing better then the wizarding world," she said with a slight shrug, her eyes dark eyes meeting his.

"That's it for tonight, you can go now. Report back same time next week."

Harry scrambled for the door only pausing outside it for Rogue to catch up, before once again setting off at a fast pace. Snape watched them go, and as his door swung shut, he sank gratefully into his chair. He would have to start practicing occlumency a little more than he was used to in order to shape up. Harry hardly took any energy out of him, but he did drain enough that Snape had only been able to go one round with Rogue tonight. Rogue was strong but that had only been one attack, Snape wasn't sure how many she could withstand before falling, and before he was sure she could hold off strong attacks like his repeatedly, he couldn't move her onto the next step. After they learned outer, shield control, they would have to learn inner mental control. Not only would they be able to control their conscience mind, but their un-conscience one as well.

Putting her wand back in her bag had helped a little, but not much. Despite her strong outer appearance, Rogue was cracking inside. If Snape had taken another go at her she wasn't sure she would have been able to hold him off, his first attack had been devastating.

"Stupid idiot, one more go and he would have had you, and then it would have been free rein for whoever wanted you," Magneto growled, unhappy at having missed his chance to gain control.

"We'll get her next time," Mystique purred.

"You try and you'll end up missing a leg or maybe an arm," Logan's growl was audible even through the din of the other personalities outbursts to this- some in support, some against.

"Well good thing our bodies aren't really here then, dumb-ass" Pietro retorted, flipping Logan the bird with his 'finger'.

"That doesn't mean we still can't beat the crap out of you if you try to hurt Rogue, just because nothing we do will be permanent doesn't meant we can't try," Kurt voiced in his most mainly and un-quavering voice.

"Yeah so-" "-up you little-" "You think you-" "I'll get you" "-and blood and-" "AGHHHH!" ...

In her already weakened state Rogue became lost in the roar of voices, catching bits of sentences amid the shouts and random screams. Her walls were already mostly back in place, but the shock was still there keeping her from ignoring the fight breaking out in her head.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" She screamed, the voices stopped at once but her moment of triumph was ruined by Harry's shocked voice.

"I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean, I don't know what I-, well I'm just really really sorry," He babbled staring at her with a pale, shocked face.

Rogue had yelled out loud, and Harry, who had been chatting away about something for the past few minutes, had thought she had been yelling at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean you," realizing her mistake Rogue hurried to correct it before Harry could ask the question, "I mean, I didn't really mean it, the Processor just hit me pretty hart and I'm a little, well, you know..." she trailed off hoping Harry would accept her explanation.

Harry just nodded warily at her and then announced, "We're here."

Ahead of them was a portrait of a large, and very pink fat lady, the entrance to her new home.

/

Ron and Hermione had waited up for them to return, questioning them about their occlumency class the moment the two of them had cleared the doorway.

Rogue made an excuse and followed the stairway marked 'Girls' up to the 6th year's doorway. The other girls were already asleep, giving Rogue the chance to collapse onto one of the last two empty beds and avoid further questions. She was to tired tonight to work on the exercises Snape had described to her before he began attacking Harry. She knew she needed to spend the next week using them to prepare herself for Snape's next attempt to get into her mind, but classes started tomorrow, and that meant meeting new people, shoving her way through crowded hallways, and learning her way around this place. Yeah, tomorrow was not going to be fun, but at least it would finally mean that she would be able to begin controlling her magic, and the more control she had at that, the better her occlumency would be.