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Summary: John has been sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison and away from the woman he loves. Trish is adapting to life without John, trying to stay strong for the sake of their newfound love. Can they survive the ultimate test to their relationship, one that neither of them expects or is prepared to fight?


I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

You know what you need to do here.

Of course he knew what the "right" thing to do here was but it didn't mean for one second that he had to like it. He had done a lot of thinking in the past two weeks and the more he thought about it, the more this answer kept coming to him. Now though, with the news about the baby Trish was carrying surrounding him, it made it that much harder to execute. Just how was he going to do the right thing when the right thing just seemed so wrong now?

He struggled free of her grasp around him, his tears long since dried up. He pushed away from her and in the process threw her back against the wall and as he looked at her when he got to his feet, he saw the hurt and shock that was paramount in her eyes. Hell it was written all over her face.

"John..." was all she could manage to get out as the realization of what was taking place finally came full circle. He was pushing her away, she knew that and she understood the reasons behind it but how many times did she have to push back before he stopped? She wasn't planning on leaving him, especially not when he needed her the most and he knew this, deep down he had to know it. So why this? Why now?

"Trish please don't speak anymore." She watched in awe as his eyes turned glassy and cold. She tried to grab onto his arm but he again pulled it away quickly, not allowing for one second the feel of her to touch him because if she did, she would know just how much all of this was killing him.

He had to do the right thing here and that was he had to make her realize that there was no hope for them now or in the future. He would never be free of the chains that had held their choking grip on him all these years and it was pointless to try and make believe any different. She was better off starting over, whether she was pregnant or not.

He could not and would not put his baby through this, no matter how much he happened to love its mother.

"John do not do this...we can do this together.." she choked out, the sobs threatening to break through at any moment. He was indeed pulling out all the stops to push her away, she just hoped she could stop it before he went too far.

"I lied to you Trish. I lied when I said that I loved you because I don't think I have ever been capable of loving anyone or anything. The reason I am here has taught me that. So you are better off leaving now and never coming back."

Before she had a chance to argue with him, to make him see that what he was doing was wrong, he stood directly in her face, his look cold and unfeeling. Something she had never seen John Cena be before and something she had to turn away from now.

"I want you to listen to me alright? Leave this room right now and when you do, I promise you that you will never be allowed back in. I am going to pull your name from the visitors list the minute you walk out that door. Just do whats best for this baby and for yourself and get the hell away from me."

He walked away from her then and banged heavily on the steel door where the guard stood on the other side waiting. He opened the door then and John made his way out, escorted by another guard back to the cell that was now his home.

As he walked away from the room and from the first real love of his life though, he couldn't help feeling like he had just made the single biggest mistake of his life in walking away from her and turning so distant and cold the way he did.

Was he happy that he was going to be a father? Yes he was but not with the life the baby would most surely lead being brought to visit its father in a cold hard jail cell. The kid and Trish would be better off in the long run. All he had to do now was make himself believe that and everything would work out just fine.

The agonizing sound of her cries followed him down the hallway and into the dark and lonely night alone in his cell and as he put his head to the mattress that night, he prayed for a speedy death so that he never had to hear or see the look on his girlfriends face ever again.


She walked from the prison an empty shell of the woman she had been when she had arrived only an hour beforehand. In the span of that short hour her whole life had flashed before her eyes and the reality of it was enough to make her sick.

John, in an attempt to push her farther away from him and from the life he was now destined to live had lied to her and told her that he had never loved her. She knew deep down that was wrong and the baby that was now slowly growing each minute inside her body told her that. A baby could not be made from anything but the greatest of loves.

She wasn't going to give up on him that easily and while her heart did feel broken and bleeding at the moment she knew that she would rise above it and figure out a way for John to see the light and let her back into his life and stop the foolishness of wanting to push her away.

Hadn't he told he once before he went to jail that he would never run from her again? Hadn't he said he never wanted to break a promise to her the way he had the night he ran from the AA meeting and caused the accident he was now serving time for? She had to make him see the damage that those broken promises would cause and she had to make sure she stayed strong and by, his side because apparently now he needed her and this baby more then ever before.

As she drove home she pictured the look on his face as he had learned the baby would be born on the lovers holiday, one that he wouldn't be able to truly celebrate the way he wanted too. Something in him had gone back to that night when he had walked in on Michelle and Randy then, she had seen it in his eyes and she hadn't liked it one bit. She had to do something drastic to fight it and bring him back from wherever he was now hiding.

As she pulled into her driveway and turned off the ignition she evaluated what had taken place at the prison and just what she needed to do to change it, so much so that she didn't see the shadow that was now standing on her doorstep.

It was only when she stood from the car and headed for the front door that the reality of the person on her doorstep hit her. It took her a few minutes to realize who it was and just what they were doing there possibly on the worst day of her life, but when she did she steeled herself to what was about to come.

"Hello Trish.."

Before she could answer she felt the nausea hit her and within seconds the world seemed to start spinning. She tried to shake it off and started to walk towards her door, moving slowly around the person who was waiting with baited breath for her to speak.

The last thing she remembered was her keys falling to the ground and the rest of the world moving around inside her mind...and then everything went black.