Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer, nor do I own the pure awesomeness that is Twilight.

Chapter 3: Heart of Ice

Bella's POV

2 months ago

And that's when I saw them: Ghostly pale skin. Golden, honey eyes. And a stupid shiny Volvo. It was the Cullens. It was Alice and Jasper…

I pushed myself as fast as my weak legs could carry me. Faster than I ever felt before. So it was true. The Cullens were back. If Alice and Jasper where here, then that meant so was the others. That meant so was Edward. Oh Edward! Thousands of memories flooded back. From that first day in biology to the unopened presents of my birthday. Each one came with its own unique form of agony. I tripped and fell flat on my face; rubble and concrete met my tear-filled sobs on the ground. Slowly, I pulled myself up welcoming the fresh grazes, in my face and now my palms. Within a second I'd stepped into the cab of my truck. A string of profanities escaped my teeth when it took a minute to start.

I was vaguely aware of the hooting of horns as I sped down the highway to Forks, probably a lot faster than my old piece of junk could take. The memories refused to cease. Tyler's van. Port Angeles. That first night. Meeting his family. The baseball game. Running to Phoenix. Him saying goodbye… I pulled over, parking in the forest. The pain from my grazed face began to set in, but that wasn't what made me stop. Alice knew. She must have seen what their leaving would do to me. She didn't care. None of them did. Especially not Edward. Oh Edward! His last words to me rang in my head like a rusted church bell, that hadn't been used for hundreds of years: Your no good for me…I don't want you…I couldn't go home. I couldn't let Charlie see me like this. I still had an inkling of pride left in me. I wasn't a shell yet.

I might never have to see him again. If there was any justice in the world, an angry grizzly bear would jump out right now and rip me apart limb-for-limb and it still wouldn't hurt as much as he hurt me. But then, if I sneaked out into the forest and did the deed there, no one would find until hunting season. I bet nobody would miss me when I was gone…I bent behind my seat. Contorting myself until I found what I was looking for. Scissors. It was no raiser blade, but it would do. I opened the door and stumbled, characteristically, out. I walked pacing, with no real reason or destination in mind. I could have been walking for hours. I could have been wondering for days. I didn't care. I just wanted an escape.

After what felt like a forever, I came at a meadow. Our meadow. His meadow. I was I meant to react to that?! Does god truly hate me? I flung the scissors to the rim of my neck a slashed violently. Apparently god didn't completely loath me, because the only thing I managed to hit was my pony tail. Cutting it clean off in the process. I dropped it and the scissors and just stood there for a second, whimpering like a shunned child. So, I did the one thing my mind could comprehend. I ran with all the little might I had left to the middle of the cursed opening. Screaming my heart out like if I didn't I would explode. I collapsed. All I was aware of was my own burning body, writhing in pure agony. After what felt like a good half an hour, the pain began to die down. I first thing I could feel was simple. Cold. Has it been snowing? I wouldn't have noticed if the world had dissolved around me. I was slightly too preoccupied with my own personal buzz of suffering. The cold droplets stung my pale skin, before melting into ice water. The only thing I was certain of, before unconsciousness took over, was an alien warmth enveloping me and sudden feeling of pure weightlessness. Had I died? Was I finally passing through to the other side? I wish. I may not be a vampire, but I still have a heart of ice.

AN: NO! BELLA'S NOT DEAD YET! Nor is she a vampire…anyhow…REVIEW! Also please can you look at the new poll on my profile! YAY OBAMA!