"What's that?" Pippin asked. It was late. It was very dark and cold, even darker and colder now that they were in the mines of Moria. Everyone was asleep, except for Lavender and Pippin. Lavender couldn't sleep. Someone was following them, she could feel it, and it was making her nervous. "What's what?" Lavender asked. "That!" Pippin pointed to Lavender's flashlight. She had been reading. "It's just a flashlight." "How does it work?" "You push the button," she said irritably. When she got nervous, she tended to snap at people. Lavender tried not to do that now, especially to one of her best friends. "Can I try it?" he asked. "Yeah, sure," she giggled. Pippin picked up the flashlight and stared directly into it. "Don't turn it on like that!" she said. He paused, then aimed it right at the sleeping Merry's face. He turned it on. Merry woke up right away, screaming, waking everyone else up as well. "PIPPIN!" he yelled. "I'M BLINDED! HELP!" Lavender buried her face in her pillow. She was in fits of laughter, but didn't want to hurt Merry's feelings. After what seemed like hours, after calming Merry down and convincing him that he wasn't blinded for life, after hiding her flashlight so that it would not be confiscated, after everyone had settled down, everyone finally began to drop back off to sleep.

Rhia and Tawny were still fighting over whether or not Tawny had tried to steal the microphone. "Guys," Lavender said. "I am here, you realize?" They stopped. Rhia cleared her throat and said, "Sorry." "Sit down," Tawny said. A chair appeared in front of Lavender. She raised her eyebrow, but sat down. "GO FOR THE HOTT ONE!" Tawny shrieked immediately. Her eyebrow couldn't go any higher. "Uh." Lavender didn't know what to say. "You know.the really hott one.with the blond hair." Tawny stuttered, seeing that Lavender was not understanding her. "Merry and Pippin and Sam all have blond hair," she replied. "PIPPIN! YEAH! GO FOR PIPPIN!" Tawny's second outburst was louder and more startling than the first. "This is your advice?" "Well." Rhia stammered as the world faded away once again.

Lavender woke with a start. A high-pitched screech filled her ears. It took a minute for her to realize that she was screaming. And a minute more to realize what she was screaming. "IT'S FOLLOWING US! IT WON'T GO AWAY! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" "Lavender!" Aragorn hissed. She shut right up, knowing from the look Aragorn was giving her that she wouldn't live much longer if she didn't. "Now every orc on Moria knows we're here! Good God, I should've thrown you over that cliff!" Aragorn complained. "We're gonna die because of you, Lavender!" Sam shouted. "The orcs will kill us!" "You shut up, too," Legolas warned. "Now go back to sleep." Sam started to protest. "But-" "NOW!" It wasn't like Legolas to yell at anybody. They figured they'd all better go back to sleep.

"SHE'S NICE!" Lavender shrieked. "DON'T KILL HER!" "Lavender," Aragorn snarled. "It's a gopher. Might I add, a carnivorous one. NORMAL GOPHERS DON'T EAT MEAT! You can't keep it!" "Pineapple wouldn't hurt anybody!" Lavender began to cry. "Let her keep it," Legolas said, rushing over to comfort Lavender, who was now sobbing hysterically and would not be comforted. "That thing's name is Pineapple?" Sam asked. This time, he had gone too far! Lavender stopped crying and walked over to him. After glaring at him for a moment, she punched him in the nose and knocked him over. After making sure that Sam was bleeding, she ran to Legolas. "Don't let him hurt Pineapple!" she cried. Legolas looked from Lavender to Aragorn, whose sword was drawn and was ready to kill the rather cute gopher that had sort of showed up in the middle of the night and attached itself to Lavender. Lavender was so short that Pineapple was almost like a large cat to her. After a minute, Legolas picked up the gopher and handed it to Lavender. The look of terror on her face was replaced by a broad smile. When Legolas wasn't looking, she shot an evil grin at Aragorn, who knew as well as she that as long as Legolas was present, Lavender could have anything she wanted. Legolas thought she was the cutest thing ever, and LOVED to spoil her. "If that thing causes any trouble, I swear I'll kill it," he growled. Lavender didn't respond. She was busy rearranging her backpack so that Pineapple could ride comfortably. "Hold this," she said, thrusting a set of headphones at Aragorn (she'd recently discovered it in her backpack. It was definitely the same one she'd left in her apartment before she came to Middle Earth. No one bought her story that the headphones, along with an Eminem CD, had just kind of appeared in her backpack, even though it was true). Aragorn examined the thing she had given him. "What is this thing?" he asked. "Just a sec," Lavender said. She put her Sherlock Holmes book and flashlight in the front pouch, and settled Pineapple into the big pouch. Pineapple looked very cozy with her head poking out of the pack, observing everything that went on. "You're going to feed it, right?" Aragorn asked. "Ya! She's my gopher, isn't she?" "It eats meat!" "So I'll have Legolas shoot a mouse for her. Her!" Lavender added. "Gimme my headphones." She grabbed them from Aragorn. Placing them over her ears, she turned on the music and stuck the CD player in her pocket. The group got ready to leave. Everything went smoothly. For a while. "I'M SORRY MAMA!" a voice belted out from the back of the group a while later. "I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU! I NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU CRY, BUT TONIGHT, I'M CLEANIN' OUT MY CLOSET!" "Dear God," Gandalf muttered to Aragorn. "If the orcs don't catch us and kill us first, this is going to be a VERY long trip through Moria."