Star Wars
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Out
Chapter 4: Discovered
Meanwhile, we see a huge fleet of star destroyers and TIE fighters and bombers. We now see the flagship of the fleet, the Super Star Destroyer Executor, which is also Darth Vader's personal flagship. Inside the monster ship, we see Darth Vader, portrayed by Uka Uka, observing the fleet of ships.
Darth Vader: Man, we have a huge fleet. I'd like to see the Rebels blow this up.
Next to the observation deck, Captain Piett, portrayed by Strong Sad, Admiral Ozzel, portrayed by Homestar Runner, and General Veers, portrayed by Strong Bad, looks at the monitor that looks like the shield generator on Hoth.
Captain Piett: Admiral, we found something from one of our probe droids. It's the best lead we've ever had.
Admiral Ozzel: I like leads. One time, I asked Pom Pom to lead me to the bathwoom while I was dwinking cold ones and managed to walk into a closet doow...
Darth Vader inspects the screen.
Darth Vader: You've found something?
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord.
Probe Droid over P.A.: Apple pencils for tiger kites.
Darth Vader: I have no idea what he said, but the Rebels are there.
Admiral Ozzel: Are we going to dwink melonade with them?!
Darth Vader: Set a course for the Hoth system. General Veers, prepare your troops.
General Veers: Finally, some action around here.
Back in Echo Base, Luke is dressed in his pilot suit and meets Han and Chewbacca, who are still fixing the Falcon.
Luke: Chewie, take care of yourself.
Chewbacca: I'm going to miss you. How about a hug?
Chewbacca hugs Luke.
Luke: Okay, Chewie.
Han: Hey, Luke! You be careful out there.
Luke: You take care of yourself too.
Probe Droid: Pencil crunchies for little pin babies.
Luke: What was that?
Han: Nothing.
Probe Droid: AaAaAaAaAaAa drink battery soda with giraffe flakes.
Han: Please don't tell Leia.
In the Echo Base command center.
Technician: Sir, a fleet of star destroyers have exited out of hyperspace.
Reikkan: Send all power to the energy shield. Prepare for ground assault.
The star destroyers have now made it to the planet of Hoth. Inside Darth Vader's private chamber on the super star destroyer, General Veers reports to Vader.
Darth Vader: What is it, general?
General Veers: We've just exited out of hyperspace. We've detected an energy field around the planet. It's strong enough to deflect any bombardment.
Darth Vader: Aw, crap! The Rebels know we're here! Admiral Ozzel moved the fleet too close to the system.
General Veers: Well, what do we do?
Darth Vader: The solution is simple. I'll handle Ozzel. General, prepare your troops for a surface attack.
General Veers: Yes, my lord.
General Veers leaves and Darth Vader activates the monitor in his chambers with Admiral Ozzel and Captain Piett on the screen.
Admiral Ozzel: Oh, hello. Welcome to the Super Star Destroyer Executor. It's dot...
Darth Vader Force Grips Ozzel.
Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. And how I'm using Force Grip through the screen is kind of creeping me out a bit. Anyway, Captain Piett?
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord?
Darth Vader: Move our fleet away from the planet and set them up so that the Rebels won't be able to escape.
Admiral Ozzel: Hooway!! I'm being Force Gripped to my death!
Admiral Ozzel dies.
Darth Vader: You are in command now, Admiral Piett.
Admiral Piett: Admiral?! I knew this day would come! Oh, I can't wait to tell all my friends about this! They're going to be so-
Darth Vader: Do you want me to Force Grip you as well?!
Admiral Piett: No.
Darth Vader: Then get to work!
The monitor shuts off.
Darth Vader: I still have to find out how I used Force Grip through the screen. And, man, I love this chair! It has built-in cup holders, it closes and shuts, and I can watch movies on this thing! What would I do without this thing?! Besides choking people that I hate. Well, I'd better go see if we're ready to attack.
Next Time:
Chapter 5: Preparing for Attack
