A/N: God damn this chapter was laborious because I rewrote it a few times trying to get it to the point that I was happy with it. I don't know if I am completely happy with it, but this was as good as I was going to get it. I have the flu at the moment. Being sick sucks! I am mostly doing Hermione's POV rather than Tom's, partly because I wanted a purely Hermione perspective of Tom/Lord Voldemort and I am not sure I could pull off the inner workings of a more murdery Tom. Let me know what you think love it or hate it. Oh..and to Stefnato I can make Tom younger if you want as I didn't purposefully give a specific age, just a rough 'thirties', because I wasn't sure how old I wanted to make him, other than I need him to be older than Hermione. And thankyou to everyone who commented, I always enjoy reading them to see differing perspectives that perhaps I hadn't considered.
THERE IS A MONSTER IN US ALL
After waking up in Voldemort's bed I isolated myself. It started to sink in everything that had happened in roughly the last 24 hours. Getting sent back in time, running off, getting stuck in a brothel, the attempted rape and Voldemort saving me.
It all hit me at once. This wasn't a dream or even a nightmare - this was real. This was my life until we figure things out. It's like my brain was taking events in but not really processing what was going on. I guess part of me was in denial- hoping all of this would magically disappear. I wanted this to be an hallucination.
Two weeks.
Two weeks have passed since the Druary Lane incident. Voldemort or Tom I guess has left me to my own devices. For which I'm glad not that I expected us to have sleepovers and braid each other's hair. While I am grateful for him saving me, I need to remember that he still is the Dark Lord regardless of the truce we seem to be having. A wolf in sheep's clothing nothing he does is without careful calculation. He is the only other person that I know to have a voracious appetite for learning that I do. I often wondered through school what the world have been like if he hadn't gone all dark side.
I have grieved and I have cried for the death of my old life. I know it seems a little pre-emptive to go down that road of great pessimism, but I feel I need to be prepared for that very real possibility and not blindsided by it. Or have my hopes completely crushed if Voldemort doesn't have a solution to this predicament. We are both the smartest of our generation so we should be able to do something. I snort with a fresh batch of hot tears rolling down my cheeks, we may be smart but smart enough to work out how to travel forward in time? This isn't a fantasy sci-fi movie.
I roll over intent on snuggling into the warm covers and cocoon myself for one more day. There's a knock at the door, I know it's him outside waiting for me to come out as usual. I'm surprised that he has respected my privacy and not just barged into the room and dragged me out, like some naughty child. I know I'm being a little petulant, but I think I am entitled to after everything I have been through.
"Miss Granger, food and fresh water for you to bathe", and he walks away anticipating that I am not going to respond. He started doing this mother hen rendition after I didn't leave the room for two whole days. I sulkily stare at the door, knowing I need to get up and face this. Harry would be ashamed of how I am behaving, hiding away. Instead he would have been out there already challenging Voldemort to find a solution.
An hour later I am freshly washed and have eaten what Voldemort left at my door. I feel semi human at least. My eyes are still rimmed red and my cheeks a little puffy, but that will go away in a couple of hours. I feel like getting out of the house after being cooped up in here for two weeks, my own personal exile. I descend the stairs careful not to slip on the well-worn wood. I doubt Voldemort would be impressed by me if I died by falling down the stairs. He would probably bring me back to life just to lecture me on the stupidity of today's youth and then kill me again. I get to the bottom and there is no movement downstairs, I wonder if Voldemort has gone out. I hadn't really thought about what he did with his days, probably nefarious plots and scheming? What else did bad guys do with their time other than planning evil deeds?
I headed straight for the front door intent on leaving, when I heard his voice call out to me.
"Miss Granger, finally ready to re-enter society as a functioning productive member?", I glared at him while sitting there all regal in the wing-backed chair with his legs crossed, reading glasses on and holding a book. He even makes the mundane activity of reading a book look like a grand affair.
"I wasn't moping", I said weakly knowing he knows that that is a bold-faced lie.
"No, you were just sobbing for days on end, but of course you weren't moping", he put the book down on the lamp table and stood up. I turned to fully face him, was he angling for a fight? Fine if he wants one. I tipped my chin up in a defiant manner.
"Just stop-"
"Where you ready to just give up that easily? That's not the intelligent Gryffindor I have heard so much about. Brightest witch of her age, up hiding in her bedroom. Tsk tsk what would the other Order members think of that", he sauntered forward, but I couldn't read him. He was so good at masking his emotions I wasn't sure if he was being serious or teasing or a mixture of both.
"I wasn't giving up I just needed time to process everything. A lot had happened that day and I needed time to get my head on straight in order to be able to tackle this problem. Which is why I am going out, I need some fresh air", I turned away to leave.
"Miss Granger, did you not learn your lesson the first time around?", I narrowed my eyes, oh believe me I learnt my lesson the first time out alone.
"You are not my parent" I pointed at him; he was closer now on the edge of my personal space bubble.
"No, but I am the adult here…" something flickered in his eyes and a smirk slowly spread across his plump lips. "But come back to my bed and I can show you how unfatherly I can be", my jaw dropped, and a blush crept up my cheeks. I did not need those mental images. He was putting me off kilter and damn if it wasn't working.
"Just stop, this…not everything is a game", I was annoyed at him playing with me like a cat with a mouse. He just chuckled but it was more mocking than funny. He stepped into my personal space, making me take a step back and another and another.
"No Miss Granger everything is a game, but you haven't recognised that you were in one. Just a pawn being moved in the giant chess game between Dumbledore and I", I scowled at that I wasn't a pawn! It wasn't until my back hit the wall of the entry that I realised he just played me. He subtly manipulated me without me realising it. He boxed me in and leaned into my eye level.
"I'm not a pawn… I'm not", he just raised an eyebrow. Fuck fine! I slumped doubt creeping into every thought and interaction between Dumbledore and Harry, Ron and I. Damn it. He crooked a finger under my chin and tilted my head back so I could look him in the eye again.
"Understanding now Miss Granger? Everyone was a pawn, the difference between Dumbledore and I, is that all my followers knew what they were getting into. Dumbledore chose to keep you all in the dark otherwise his machinations wouldn't have worked", he pushed back off and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it frustratedly.
"Machinations? He's not some…he's not you!" I yelled because he couldn't have been doing this all along, Voldemort has to be tricking me again, playing me. I needed to cling to that line of thought like a lifeline otherwise everything I have known for the last 7 years has been based on lies.
"Really Miss Granger? And I thought you were supposed to be smart? Why do you think Dumbledore and I do not get along? He created, shaped and moulded who I am right now. He manipulated me like he has done to Harry, except he didn't want a mindless pawn that he could martyr off, he wanted an adversary. The problem with his great plan was that I eventually saw right through it and began my own inputs into the game. Level the playing field as it were. He wanted another Grindelwald". To say I was a befuddlement of emotions was an understatement. I was confused yes, but I also knew there was a lick of truth to what he was saying. I was always a little suspicious of how Dumbledore spoke of his early interactions with Voldemort as a young boy in the orphanage. It seemed to strange to write off a young impressionable young boy because he could talk to snakes. Even Harry thought it was unusual, since he could talk to snakes as well. Before I could get a word out to ask him to explain more, he turns and looks me directly in the eye. He had a strange look on his face, one I haven't seen before. He looked exposed, cut raw.
"We are fashioned creatures, but half made up. I'm split where once the angel transforms into the malignant devil. His deceit and lies turned me from my path to become a fiend; evil henceforth became my good. Love…love such a folly emotion…but yet he doesn't understand the full extent of the emotion himself. Such mockery of others. He is the God and we are the pitiful creations", he practically spat that out. The look of disgust of his face was so fierce. It was a look into the complicated relationship between these…titans of the magical community. I waited patiently figuring he hadn't quite finished what he was getting off his chest. " An idiot who thinks he knows everyone's thoughts and feelings. I can feel love with the likes he cannot comprehend and the opposite side of the coin: rage, with the likes he can scarcely reconcile. If I cannot apparently satisfy one, then I will indulge the other. What angers me the most of his guilefulness, is that he is happy to destroy with good conscience a monster of his own creation. Oh, praise the eternal justice of man! He wanted a monster and oh how I rose to that occasion. Then he hates me for it, the very role he wanted me to fill. I will cause trembling fear in those who cross me, especially of my creator and I do so swear with inextinguishable hatred. I will work at his destruction, nor finish it until I desolate his heart, so that he will curse the very hour he was born upon this wretched earth", he was out of breath after that monologue, chest heaving and hands clenched into tight fists. I was taken aback by the passionate rage he spoke of Dumbledore and his manipulation. I had never really expected that Dumbledore would have put Tom on the path he was now currently walking, playing a role that everyone had expected of him. To feel his own fate was not pre-determined exactly, but that he had no other options. It was strange and showed that his whole war was not black and white as I had naively believed. I would be angry too if I was in his position, not that I am excusing his heinous actions. Thinking about it if I was Harry, maybe he should have challenged Dumbledore a little more than just blindly following everything he said.
"Well that certainly changes a lot of things and provides some perspectives. You compare yourself to Frankenstein's Monster?" I was surprised he used some of Shelley's words to express himself.
"It is a good analogy for the entire situation", I cocked my head to the side assessing him, now that I am aware of the bigger picture, I can look at him as a more complex creature. The one-dimensional evil madman, that Dumbledore 'created', just doesn't seem…. accurate now. I'm utterly mortified that I was hoodwinked for so long. We just never questioned the supposedly good Headmaster or even thought about an ulterior agenda.
I rubbed my forehead; this was giving me a headache. I just wanted even more to get out of here now.
"Come Miss Granger I will escort you for a walk", I opened my eyes in surprise as he was holding out my coat for me to slip my arms into.
"Really?", he rolled his eyes.
"No, I just offered and am holding your coat simply for the sheer pleasure of it", I sighed there went our weird emotional moment.
"You don't have to be an arse Tom", he just quirked an eyebrow as I slipped my arms into it. I figured fuck it, I wasn't going to call him Voldemort, right here right now he is just Tom Riddle.
We both walked silently taking in the sights and smells of the London streets. Things were beginning to slow down as the sun was setting. I was not apprehensive, I felt comfortable enough that Tom wouldn't let anything happen to me nor push me in front of a horse draw carriage to be trampled to death, because apparently that is a thing. Sometimes I can't grasp to strangeness that is human nature.
"Can we somehow make our way to Hogwarts?" I asked breaking the comfortable silence.
"No Miss Granger. Unfortunately, without our...instruments it would be a pointless endeavour, because of-", I nodded.
"Because of the wards. We'd never find it let alone get past them" I finished what we both were thinking.
"Yes. Diagon Alley is out also. Perhaps if my abilities weren't blocked then I could get in but as restricted as I am it limits things", Yes the blocking of our magic. So many questions.
"Do you have a theory as to why our abilities are the way they are? Is it because of the...circumstances of our arrival?", I kept up the code for our conversation. If it wasn't for Tom starting it, I would have blurted everything out for people to hear, I need to be more careful.
"I can only make assumptions, as no one that we know of has been in this predicament before. It could be part of the circumstance; I just don't believe it's the whole situation. I had never heard that piece of poetry Dumbledore recited before, which leads me to believe that it was of his own creation"
I was more bothered by this than I would let Tom know. Dumbledore's seemingly rise from the dead after a year and then hurling us back in time…well Tom…I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some of the puzzle pieces fitting together in my mind, make me believe there is more to this than just time travelling us to the past to finish a War, especially since Tom could easily wreak havoc here if he really wanted too.
We watched as young boy around the age of ten maybe…. was packing up his little stand on the corner. When two men approached the youngster, clearly harassing and jostling him; knocking over his basket full of unsold nick-knacks and while he tried to save them stealing his hard-earned coins from his hat. I felt enraged by the injustice and I had plenty of emotions that I couldn't unleash at Dumbledore, so these fools were going to get it.
I let out a growl and grit my teeth. "Tom", I stormed over there ignoring Tom's disapproval. He was just going to have to deal with it.
"Hey, what do you think you are doing?" I had on the angriest glare I could muster. I was ignored in typical male selective hearing. I pushed at the closest man who had dirty blonde hair, "Hey". He stumbled a bit and whirled around, shocked momentarily that I had the audacity to push him.
"Stay out of it girl", and pushed me back. The young boy tried grabbing his hat back with the coins in it but was backhanded by the other large but skinny man wearing rope like suspenders. I leapt in front of the boy, trying to shield him from further attack.
"We'll be 'aking these an' I 'xpect the same next week", said Suspenders. Blondie just nodded and grunted in agreement.
"No, you won't", I had wondered when Tom would step in, he always seemed to like a rather dramatic entrance. He stood there in the fading light, wearing all black and a black top hat that he obviously had liberated while I was occupied. The hat and long black military trench coat made him look like an early imagining of Jack the Ripper. I helped the boy up who was crying and hugged him while watching the interaction between Tom and the men. He was moving ever so slightly towards the side street. The fact that he was doing that made me believe that this was going to get violent. I was not concerned about Tom. As Lord Voldemort he never seemed like a physical person, preferring using magic than muggle ways of solving things, but Tom Riddle was quick, nimble and sure footed more than capable of physical fighting.
"Yeah 'an wat ya gonna do 'bout it", Tom inched closer to the one holding the hat with the coins. He tossed his hat to me without looking. I caught it before it hit the ground.
"Take back what doesn't belong to you", he kneed Suspenders in the groin to which he grabbed himself and hunched over. Tom ducked anticipating a swing from Blondie, catching him off guard from missing, he swiftly plunged a knife into Blondie's stomach then kicked him off the blade. He must have had the knife either in his pocket or up his sleeve. Seemingly having dealt with Blondie he turned back towards Suspenders who was still clutching his family jewels. Tom grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him back into the wall holding the blade to his neck.
"look I'll g-give tha' coin back 'romise I will", the guy stuttered out having seen Blondie on the ground behind Tom. I tried to cover the boy's eyes from witnessing this violence, knowing exactly what Tom was going to do.
"Oh, you will", I could tell he had a wicked smile on his face.
"wkgl-'', he cut a perfect line across the neck of the man, the artery spurting just a little off the side. I couldn't help but watch, it was so…unassuming but so violent simultaneously. It was done with such assurity that I know this kind of iniquitous act, this misdeed was not an uncommon exploit in the life of Tom Riddle. He let the man's body slump against the grimy exterior of the building. He turned and looked at me and the boy crouched together hugging, then shifted his gaze to Blondie who was sprawled on the ground holding his knife wound. He bent down and picked up the hat and the few coins that had rolled out after it was dropped.
He hefted the boy back on his feet, who had a tear stained face and eyes full of fear when he looked at Tom.
"Here" and the held out the hat with coins out to the boy. The boy looked relieved as he peaked inside making sure all his coins where in there. Tom pulled out his hand out of his pocket and dropped a few more coins in. The boys eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Thanks Mister, 'is will feed my family for a 'hole month! Thanks M'lady" he gave me another quick hug then ran over to his basket packing everything up and scurried away. I couldn't help but smile after the boy.
"Thanks. Why did you do it?" I asked as I handed his hat back, nodding towards Suspenders. A gruesome reminder of what Tom just did, the part of my brain that was morally righteous protested only weakly, the rest of me was just relieved. But I was still worried because anyone could have seen that.
"Why did I kill him? What did you think I was going to do? Pat him on the back with a nasty scolding and set him on his way?" Gee he didn't have to be such a dick about it.
" Well, we could have given them to the police and let them deal with it", I thought that was reasonable.
He snorts
"Miss Granger we are possibly at the turn of the 1800s somewhere in London. The Police don't care what happens in the slums, in fact they are probably glad the ingrates pick themselves off, means less work for them. But still we need to leave now Miss Granger before someone does call the authorities". I huffed because I knew he was right, and I stomped right past him. He didn't miss a beat and stayed in stride with me. He crooked out an elbow and I reluctantly took it. He looked like the cat who got the cream because he knew he was right, and I was non verbally agreeing with him.
"What about Blondie, couldn't he say something?", Not that I wanted Tom to suddenly turn around and finish him off.
"Even if he survives, he will have to own up to his part of the crime. I'm not worried, he'll die of sepsis soon enough"
"You didn't have to do it you know", I said quietly not really expecting him to answer.
"I'm a villain Miss Granger, is it not what you yelled at me when we were..." he flourished his right hand round as if searching for the word in the night air. "Deposited here? And besides filth like that would have kept at it before he eventually got what he wanted". I frowned not that he could see my face.
"So, what you're saying is that you have to follow the villain handbook 'How to be Evil 101?'", frustrated as to why he always turns towards the morally grey area.
He makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a snort - a most undignified sound from someone normally so composed. I stifle a laugh. I feel a little smug to be able to catch him off guard with my sarcasm.
"Evil 101? How maladroit Miss Granger, not nearly as sinister sounding", I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Not nefarious enough for a super villain?" A chuckle. Which sounds louder in the dead quiet of the London back streets.
"Super Villain? I sound like a character from a comic book. No if I was going to write a manual for the modern aspiring villain it would more along the lines of Case studies of Iniquitous Misdeeds for the Contemporary Dark Wizard''.
"Ok, fine that was a good name for a textbook if you were going to write one and thank you for helping that boy back there…I know you didn't have to get involved at all", I look up even though neither of us can see each other's eyes until we pass the next street 'lamp'- more like candle in a box.
"London is a cesspool of vice, violence and villainy and let's face it probably every venereal disease currently known to man. I don't know about you Miss Granger, but I want to go home so we are going to have to work together better to figure it out". He said not giving me a straight answer.
"I know, but thanks all the same. And I think we are past the Miss Granger formality wouldn't you say?", it was silent for a long time before he finally broke it.
"I'm not a good man Hermione far from it, but I don't condone violence against women or children like that"
"But some of your followers certainly don't seem to have a problem with it especially Scabior and Greyback or really for you for that matter you tried to kill Harry", I retorted challenging him. His arm tightened around mine.
"Those pieces of scum beneath my shoe... well they have earned their death sentence then when we return. Now Miss Granger are you implying that I have complete and utter control over every single follower? because that is quite flattering. As for Harry that is…was? complicated. It's not that I actively went after children. In fact, before Harry I didn't, it was only because of that stupid prophecy. If Dumbledore didn't play it up as much as he did, I would have ignored it." I rolled my eyes not that he could see. Divination is such a rubbish subject.
"Yes...no... I guess...maybe? I don't know Dumbledore perhaps embellished a little and you were made to seem... omnipotent?" God, could I have boosted his ego anymore.
"God like...interesting" I could imagine him preening in the dark. We were walking a little slow since you could not see in front of you it was quite frustrating, I felt exposed.
"But alas I am just a man. With god like capabilities, I guess. I cannot control my followers' individual actions any more than you can control your classmates", that was reasonable and logical, I'll admit I hadn't given it much though until now. Being here with him having to somewhat trust him with my life I am seeing the man behind the mask. He is letting me in a little more, after his outburst of emotion earlier I thought he would have completely shut me out.
We walked in silence for a bit longer, till we reached the steps of the townhouse.
"We will have to leave in a day or so", he said quietly. I wasn't sure if this is in relation to the murdered thief or because of something else.
"OK…What have you been doing exactly?", I raised a sceptical brow.
"Information gathering", was all he said as he opened the front door. I was glad one us had left a few candles burning before we went out.
"And what did that entail?"
He gave a 'really you have to ask' look.
"So, what are we now a historical Bonnie and Clyde?", I raised my hands in exasperation.
A/N: I choose Frankenstein's Monster as an analogy for Tom because I feel it fits him the way that I see the Tom Riddle character. I feel as though he is immensely more complex than the one-dimensional character we get in the Books and some of the other fan fiction stories, where he is inserted as just a purely evil villain. I enjoy exploring the complexities of this dynamic. In saying that this story wasn't supposed to be heavy with emotional angst. It was supposed to just be a fun jaunt!
