Chapter 3: Pouring my heart out

Leah's POV:

Sam Uley left my room; I just stood there shocked for a few minutes, and then broke down in fresh set of tears. I fell on the bed sideways and started crying so hard that it was hard to breathe. I felt the pillow cover wetting but my tears never stopped. I hated Emily! She was the cause of everything! I had loved her but she destroyed my life, she took away my Sam. I wanted to hate him too, but I just couldn't…I loved him too much and now I wish I didn't, I didn't care that he was a wolf or even if he had imprinted or whatever, I just wanted him…still. Even though he had broken my heart by saying things that had hurt me.

I felt someone move their hand through my hair, I froze.

"Leah…darling, stop crying," Dad said.

"Go away Dad," I said hoarsely.

"No, I won't unless you listen to me and eat this food." He said sternly.

I didn't say anything.

"Leah, its not Sam's fault dear…he had no choice," Dad continued after a sigh.

Right! Now, even my father thought he was good!

"You know, he imprinted on Emily, he told me he told you everything…it's not his fault," I sat up at his words, feeling betrayed and raged!

"Oh, so even you know about it," I accused him.

"Yes, he is a wolf, it's in his genes," Dad was looking far off.

"You asked him to tell me the truth right? He never had intention of telling it to me, right Dad?" my eyes went wide as I realized.

"Yes…" he whispered after few seconds.

The pained that had made me cry before was nothing compared to the one that washed over me now. Sam had never meant to tell me the truth…no, he never even wanted to come here, he had just come on Dad's request; my Dad didn't want to see me hurt so he had asked Sam, and Sam had agreed.

"Dad, I want to be alone…please leave," I said calmly.

"Alright honey, just try to get over it, and please eat this," he seemed to understand that I wanted to be left alone; he placed the plate of food that he had got on the desk beside my bed and walked off closing the door behind him.

Suddenly it felt like all my tears had dried, I was able to think about what exactly Sam had told me, he was a wolf, Dad was in his secret and he had imprinted or whatever on that witch of a sister! I wish something bad happens to her…I hate her…she ruined my life.

I started feeling hungry, I sighed and took the plate and sat on the bed, Mom had prepared fried rice, I took a few bites and started feeling nauseous, I ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. After I felt like the throwing up wouldn't continue I rinsed my mouth and brushed it thoroughly. It felt like I hadn't been ill at all so I went and finished my food drank water and after that I was feeling full. I didn't know what was wrong with me…my life had been completely turned over!

I woke up the next day feeling grouchy, I went and looked in the mirror, I felt and looked horrible, my hair looked sticky, eyes were swollen and had dark circles around them. I quickly took a shower and dressed up into track pant and a pullover. I went and sat on the bed staring at nothing. Just then the door opened, I didn't look up; it was obviously mom, dad or Seth to see whether I had survived.

"Hey there Lee," the voice took me by surprise. I looked up eyes wide with surprise.

"Carol," I whispered.

"I m back," she smiled a bit and walked over to me.

Yeah, Carol hadn't been in La Push for the past few weeks, she was going to leave La Push and settle somewhere else; she had finished her business course and now was going to start working with some company.

"I missed you…" I admitted in a dead voice. I had…she was my best friend…but she hadn't been around here…I knew if there was one person that I would share everything with…it was Carol.

"Come-on let's get you outta here," she said.

"Where?" I asked.

"To my place, we need to talk," she came and pulled my off the bed.

We went down, Carol dragging me mostly. She told my mother that she was taking me with her for a while and will be back by dark, Mom looked happier.

"So had your break fast?" she asked indifferently.

"No…" I replied.

"Good, I made something new, I want you to eat that," she said cheerfully.

I nodded and continued looking out of the window. We reached Carol's place, it was a small cottage, a living room, kitchen and one bedroom with bathroom. We went inside; I went and collapsed on the couch.

"Wanna eat something now or later?" she asked.

"Later," I muttered. She sat on the single chair.

"Leah…what are these things that I heard," she said in an entirely different voice.

"What things?" I muttered closing my eyes.

"Did u try to kill yourself?" she asked strictly, I opened my eyes, her eyes held tears.

"Sam dumped me," I said.

"Oh…honey, I m so sorry," she came and hugged me and I started cry and hugging her tighter.

I ended up telling her everything that happened apart from the 'secret'.

"I wish I could teach him a lesson! How dare he did that to you," she growled and patted my back. Her words and patting was comforting, slowly my tears stopped.

"I love him still, I need him," I confessed.

"I know…" she stroked my cheek.

"What do I do?" I asked her devastated.

"We will think of something," she assured me. "Let's eat something now, come."

I sat listening to her talk as she warmed up the breakfast. She had got a job and also an apartment but she needed some room-mate to keep up with the rent, it was a 2 bedroom apartment and others weren't available.

She placed warm juicy noodles in front of me. I took first few bites and like last night I ran to the bathroom and threw up again. Carol followed me anxiously.

"What, are they so bad?" she asked anxiously.

"No, it had been happening to me from past few days…" I told her.

"Are you okay?" she asked raising her eye brows.

"I guess, I don't know what's wrong," I muttered going back to the kitchen.

She didn't say anything, but started eying me in a weird manner.

"What?" I asked feeling self-conscious.

"Er, you and Sam did it right?" she asked.

"Yeah…before Emily came, the previous night," I couldn't even blush.

"I think you should go to the doctor," she said vaguely.

"What do you mean?" I asked confusedly.

"Look, I m not sure okay, but I think you are pregnant," she said biting her lip.

"No…" my voice trailed in a whisper. It couldn't happen, we had seen to that nothing like this would happen.

"Just take tests, I m not sure," she told me.

Carol and I had been to the doctor not in Forks, but in Olympia, we didn't want any one to know about this. I had got the tests done, and now I was waiting anxiously for the results. Carol was going to get them for me. I was feeling scared but also there was some other emotion that I couldn't decipher. My landline started ringing, I picked it up.

"Hello?" I said hoping it was Carol.

"Hey Lee, meet me at my place," she said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Just come over to my place," she said and hung up. This suspense was killing me; I so badly wanted to know what the result was.

I got my coat and ran outside and got into the old truck that Seth and I used together. I drove as fast as possible to Carol's place, after what seemed like ages I reached her home. My heart was thudding harder with every step I took to get it. I rang the door bell, Carol opened it soon. She looked nervous.

"What is it?" I asked fearing I already knew the answer. I hung the coat and followed her inside.

"It's positive; you are going to have his baby," she whispered.

I sat down on the chair freezing, involuntarily my hand reached my stomach, and I could suddenly feel the presence of the little baby inside me…not yet developed but there.

"Don't worry, we can get the abortion done before the fetus develops," Carol said holding my hand.

For a moment I felt scared but there was also that strange emotion in me…I realized it was hope. This baby was the only thing that I had left of Sam…I knew he wasn't going to come back but I could start my life with this baby.

"No, I can't do that," I said shaking my head.

"What are you talking about?" Carol asked me.

"I can't kill my baby, that's the only thing I have that will make me feel that it's worth living," I had tears in my eyes.

"Sam won't accept your child, he is not going to leave Emily," she said kindly. And I knew she was right, Sam would never leave Emily just because I was going to have his baby, and for all he knew I could be lying to get him back…we had taken precautions that night.

"I will raise it by my own," I told her my voice firm.

"Leah, these people won't let you have it, the council won't allow," she whispered. Again I knew she was right, the council once they come to know about it will think of it as a shame and blackmail me to destroy my baby.

"Carol, without this baby I will surely die, but with it I can start a new life, I will have some part of Sam at least, reminding his love for me long time ago, please I want to have this baby," I pleaded.

"I don't know," she sounded helpless.

"I m old enough, I m 20, I can take own decision, I want to keep this child," I continued firmly.

"Fine…" she seemed lost in a thought.

"Leah…why don't you move in with me?" she suddenly asked, her eyes were bright.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes, you can easily get a job in the same company and you will earn enough money, its fine…no one will be there to stop you from keeping the baby." She explained.

"Yeah…you know what? I don't want to tell anyone I m leaving, I don't want to do anything with La Push…not even my family," I told her.

"I understand…they won't know where you are…it will pain for a while but later they will get over it."

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

"I m your best friend…remember?" she rolled her eyes and sighed in a exaggerated manner.

For the first time in the dark weeks I laughed.

Okie dokie! So…what do you guys think of this?

Many of the reader don't like Leah because of the bitter nature of her seen in Eclipse/Breaking Dawn towards certain characters. So I thought of getting in her mindset and seeing what exactly she could have gone through to make her like that. So this is my version of the change in Leah.

And yes, to the readers, the story is going to change from this chapter onwards. I m sure it's going to surprise you (well, I hope =))