I don't own the hobbit series.
And the Wonderland I'm using is my own inspired by books and games based off of Alice in Wonderland.
Annabel Devin and other OCs are mine.
I've decided that I will aim to post one chapter every Friday around some time in the afternoon.
What Little Logic...
Bofur's Calming Has.
Annabel's POV:
I watched as Bilbo fought to keep his home clean but I had accepted the mayhem that is a group of Dwarves by passing them food from the pantry and telling them to be careful seeing as it not there's and be thankful.
"Excuse me miss Annabel." I looked down to Dori after I hand Bombur the three wheals of cheese. "May I offer you a cup Chamomile tea." I smiled to Dori with a grateful nod and watched as he poured the tea for me and took it with gentle hands.
I had been given a proper meeting of all the Dwarves by Gandalf after I had greeted him. He had all twelve of them introduced themselves; Nori, Ori, Dori, Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Bombur, Bofur, Bifur, Balin, and Dwalin.
Nori, Ori, and Dori were all sweet hearts and very friendly. It was apparent by there names that I assumed they were brothers. Fili and Kili introduced themselves very flirtatiously; Ounce closer I noticed that they weren't just brothers but twins. Oin was - like all the others - very friendly, though he needed to hear with a horn like object in his ear to actually hear properly; He reminded me of the March Hare back in Wonderland. Gloin introduced himself quiet proudly; I had learned that he was married and had a son named Gimli. The other triple set of brothers were Bombur, Bofur, and Bifur; they were all very kind a bouncy in a sense, and though Bifur seemed to speaking in gibberish, I understood him just - that seemed to surprised everyone even Gandalf and Bifur. When Balin and Dwalin were asked to introduce them selves they had stated that we had already met; sweet and simple.
I held the small cup of tea in my hands and just smelled the soothing scent of the tea wall I watched the mayhem before me. I nodded to Gandalf when he passed me in the makeshift dinning area.
Now that the bustling had stopped everyone sat down and began enjoying the food laid out before them as me and Gandalf sat across one another so to easily pass food around and get some for are selves. Fili began walking across the table passing tankards of alcohol around as me and Gandalf tried to protect our food from stomping Dwarf feet. But I couldn't help but laugh when I saw tomatoes go flying from his plate, though I placed some of mine on his to replace the lost ones; to which I received a 'Thank you Dear' in the jumble of voices. I wasn't paying much attention to what was happening but apparently Dwalin had pored ale down Oin's hearing horn. After that they began an ale drinking burping competition that caused all to quiet, side for the sounds of them chugging down the ale. And it all was broken by there loud burps. Then all went quiet as they watched Ori burp one of the loudest burps I've ever heard; they then all cheered to celebrate his achievement.
After all the eating was done and the Dwarves belies were filled with food, they then speeded out and drank ale in rooms among the house.
I watched Bilbo take one of his crochet doilies from Nori.
"excuse me that is a doily not a dish cloth."
"But it's full of holes?" Bofur spoke in confusion as to why it holes.
"It's suppose to look like that; It's crochet." Bilbo sound both tired and annoyed with everything.
"Oh and a wonderful game it is too. If ya got the balls for it." Bofur seemed to got the game and knitting mixed up.
Bilbo seemed to be highly frustrated from the event before and now as he angrily mumbled to himself. As Gandalf walked in the room behind him.
"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Bilbo seemed ready to blow after hearing Gandalf's question.
"What's the matter. I'm surrounded by Dwarves. What are they doing here." Gandalf just didn't seemed fazed.
"Oh there quiet a merry gathering." Gandalf paused when he saw Bofur and Nori play tug-a-war with a string of sausages. "Ounce you get use to them." He quipped in. Bilbo still did not seem happy with that answer as they walked and I followed not far behind.
"Ounce you get use to them!" I realized that Bilbo was entering one of his mess and mayhem rants. "The state of my kitchen. Theirs mud trudging the carpet. They- they pillaged The pantry." I followed behind Gandalf as he followed Bilbo out the kitchen and into The main hall area. "I'm not even going to tell you they done in the bathroom, they all but destroyed the plumbing." I winced in displeasure at the thought of what might of happened to the bathroom. "I don't understand what their doing in my house!"
"Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" It was sweet little Ori that had come for help with cleaning the plate. Fili appeared beside Bilbo while Kili walked behind use with a pipe.
"Here ya go Ori, give it to me." Fili then threw the plate to Kili, who then through it to Bifur in the kitchen at the sink. All while Bilbo tried to stopped them and me and Gandalf tried to dodge the continuously flying plates. The others at the table bagel making a beat with there knives and forks. Then a new form of hell broke lose when Bilbo said.
"And can you not do that, you'll blunt them."
"Oh, did you hear that lads. He said we'd blunt the knives." Bofur with a implying tone that made the others laugh. The song began with Kili.
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks!" Fili then joined.
"Smashed The bottles and burn the corks!" Then all the Dwaves began to sing along.
"Chip the glasses and crack the plates!"
"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
"Cut the cloth and trail the fat!
Leave the bone on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Splash the wine on every door!"
"Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you're finished, if they are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!"
"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates."
By the end of all the music and dancing they had cleaned and stacked the plates on the dinning table. All the cheering and hollering was silenced when a hard nock came from the front door. The only one who spoke was Gandalf with his voice so serious and somber that if I heard only his voice, I wouldn't have thought it was the kind wizard I meet not long ago.
"He's hear."
I stood behind Gandalf when he opened the door for what I learned was the last needed Dwarf of the group And meeting to begin.
The Dwarf was tall - for a Dwarf at least - and I had to admit he was handsome.
His features were strong, but not overly so. His hair was long, wavy, and almost dark as mine if not for the grays of stress and age. He also did not have a simple beard - not to long, not freshly new and just staring. And when he spoke his voice was not harsh or soft - a good in between of the two.
"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find?" He walked into the Hobbit Hole. "I lost my way twice. Wouldn't have found it at all if had not been for that mark on the door." I had almost forgotten that Gandalf had placed a mark on the door. And Bilbo didn't know About it too.
"Mark? There's no mark on that door; It was painted a week ago."
"There is a mark I put it there." Gandalf said. "Did Annabel not tell you?" Everyone looked to me to Gandalf's right as I held and petted the sleeping Cheshire in my arms. I gave me most innocent look - like a child that's been told her pet got ran over by a carriage driven by her parents - just without the tears.
"Oops." Bilbo looked like he wanted to get mad but didn't have the heart to, Gandalf gave me a look as if commending me for a go show, all the Dwarves but the new comer looked at me like I did nothing wrong, the new Dwarf looked impressed by my show of innocence. Gandalf saved this moment form any more awkward silence by introducing me and Bilbo to the new comer.
"Bilbo Baggins and Annabel Devin, allow me to introduce the leader of our company; Thorin Oakenshield." Thorin handed Kili his cloak as he inspected Bilbo more then me.
"So, this is the Hobbit?" Thorin's face became serious as he paced around Bilbo like a predator stacking his pray.
"Tell me mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?" Thorn was speaking of something completely foreign to Bilbo.
"Pardon me?"
"Axe or sword? Whats your weapon of choice?" I could just tell that Bilbo was not going to easily impress Thorin Oakenshield.
"Well I do have some skills in conquers. If you must know." And he has began his hole digging on his own ounce again. "I fail to see... Why that relevant." The disappointment was see able on his face.
"Thought as much." Thorin looked to those behind him. "He looks more like a grocer then a burglar." Thorins snide comment and the laughs of the other Dwaves annoyed me wall I watched them walk into the dinning room.
Ounce Thorin sat and was provided some of my quick make homey porridge, they began their meeting. Starting with Balin to Thorin.
"What news in the meeting in Eryn Blueyn? Did they all come?" Thorin's answer was proud.
"Ey, all seven kingdoms." This brought joy to the group before us.
"and what do the Dwarves of the Iron Hills say?" Dwalin question caused all to quiet ounce more. "Is Dain with us?"Thorin's face showed sadness as he stole a breath before speaking.
"They will not come." Groans of disappointment were heard among them. "They say this quest is ours and ours alone." Those seemed to shock them at the news. I noticed Bilbo's curiosity had been when Thorin said quest, so I was not surprised that he spoke.
"Your going on a quest?" I decided to add on to that.
"It seems so Bilbo. Now my interest as been fully pecked."All looked to Bilbo to and I now. Using this to his advantage Gandalf spoke before it was to late.
"Bilbo, my dear fellow. Let us have a little more light." Before Bilbo could go far - not even a step - I interjected.
"No need." I began to search my bag; I haven't left it alone since I came inside this morning. "I have something that's light is better then a candles." I looked to Gandalf. "I think you'd like this -" I then looked to the Dwarves."- and do not be scared or worried. The magic your about to see is completely harmless." My whole arm had disappeared into the bag. "Ah, here it is." I pulled out a triclinic crystal that had a yellow hue. I pouted slightly. "Oh, I was hoping to find the sea-foam tetragonal crystal light." I noticed all the Dwarves were giving me and the crystal strange looks. I shrugged. "Oh well, better then nothing." I placed it in front of Thorin.
He looked to the house shaped crystal then me.
"What is this, this is no light."
"Oh, but it is." I pointed to the very top of the crystal. "Just tap the top twice." Thorin seemed to doubt me; how very rude of him. "Now don't be rude in doubting me Thorin Oakenshield. If you think I'd try and hurt you or anyone in hear then your sourly mistaken -" I hadn't realized that I had started one of my infamous tangents till it was to late. "- or is it happily mistaken because you probably don't want it to harm you." But Bilbo stopped it in its tracks.
"Uh, Annabel." I looked to Bilbo. "You're starting to trail off again."
"Am I?"
"Yes." Was Bilbo's answer.
"Oopsie." I looked to Thorin ounce more. "Like I said, just tap the top twice."
Thorin gave me a look then looked to Gandalf for reassurance; I was hurt; He didn't trust me. Gandalf gave an encouraging nod.
Thorin gave two attentive taps on the roof of the crystal. a pregnant silence fell wall we all looked to the crystal That only made a light humming sound. I didn't notice that many of them were tense till either they sighed with ease or their shoulders eased. Both Bilbo and Gandalf looked confused wall I looked annoyed. Thorin let out a throaty laugh as he looked up at me.
"It appears your 'light' didn't work." I actually felt angry that he did not realize why it didn't work.
"You hurt its feelings." Everyone looked to me confuse. I looked to Thorin like a mother that caught her child being mean to another.
"What do ya mean by 'hurt its feelings' my lady." It was a perplex Balin that asked the question. And like always I was quick to answer with utter a surety.
"Hurt its feeling is what I mean." I looked to Thorin with a mother punishing wrath. "Say sorry or I'm throwing you and all your cohorts out into the night. Or I'll sick my cat on you." I pointed to Cheshire who was a wake and staring at Thorin with his giant smile and toxic eyes that looked like he was staking his pray; Stalking Thorin.
Thorin looked to me in disbelief then to Gandalf ounce more. Gandalf just shrugged and urged him - at least to humor me - on to say sorry to the crystal. Thorin sighed as he looked to the crystal and grudgingly spoke to it like the stubborn child he's being.
"I'm sorry." He looked to me as if asking if he was done. I gave him a looked that enforced him to continue. He heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry I doubted you light." With that the hum became quieter. Then right when Thorin looked ready to reprimand me for my 'tom foolery'. A light blinked from the crystal, momentarily filling the room with light. Thorin looked shocked as did all the Dwarves; the snickering of Fili and Kili had stopped too. I looked to everyone now.
"Now see it forgave sir Thorin. Now you all say sorry too." They all looked to me as if they had been rightly accused of stealing cookies from the cookie jar - I Dwalin shouldn't be surprised though he had done that not long after he got here. I looked to all my hypothetically children. "Say sorry."
They all looked dejected as they spoke in unisons.
"We're sorry." The crystals light filled the room with a yellow glow as flexes of white flouted about the room. The Dwarves made noises of amazement and wonder, wall Gandalf, me, and Bilbo smiled. That was till the light disappeared ounce more. The Dwarves made noises of displeasure at the lost spectacle.
Bilbo's lost voice came after a moment of silence.
"Did you not charge it this morning."
"No I charged it wall I was outside all morning and afternoon." Realization struck me. I spun my head to the wizard beside me. "Say sorry Gandalf."
Gandalf looked genially surprised.
"What?"
"Say sorry." A moment of silence fell ounce more as me and Gandalf looked to each; I was daring him to try and fight me in a battle of words. Gandalf realized either that we'd be going at it for sometime if we began or it would be a losing battle. Either way he huffed and looked to the crystal.
"I'm sorry." The light seemed to accept the apology when it light the room like it did before. I made a whoop as I lifted my arms in the air till they tapped the wooden celling.
"See now it'll light the room for use." Gandalf looked to me with thanks.
"Thank you my dear."
"No, say thank you to the crystal not me." I looked to the Dwarves till my eyes stopped on Thorin. "All of you." Thorin looked at me with a unyielding stubbornness.
They all looked to the crystal.
"Thank you." The light made a soft hum as its answer to the thanks.
Gandalf then began to pull something out of his robes. As he began to rise from his set and room was made for the paper to be seen. I had moved between Bofur and Thorin so Bilbo could have a closer look too.
"Far over ranges and river. Beyond woodlands and wastelands. Lies a single solitary peak." Me, Bilbo, Bofur, and Thorin leaned in to get a closer look.
Bilbo read the words written above the mountain.
"The Lonely mountain." Gloin seemed to be eager to explain. Though some did not seem happy with that.
"I'ye, Oin has read the portents and the portents say. It is time." Oin continued.
"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was for-told. When the birds of old return to Erebor. The reign of the beast will end." The all mumbled in agreement.
I hadn't realized that Bilbo had left to the pantry till I heard him behind us.
"So, what beast?" Bofur seemed to be kind enough to explain.
"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible. The chiefs and greates calamity of our age." The air became serious as Bofur continued. "Air born fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks." He sounded like the Dragon, Jabberwocky. "Very fond of precious metals." Not like Jabberwocky It seems though.
"I know what a Dragon is." I looked to Bilbo, then I looked to Ori when he shoot up from his place at the table and shouted.
"I'm not afraid. I'm up for it. I'll give him the taste of the Dwarfish iron right up his jackie." Dwarves began to shout words I could not properly tell what words of encouragement they were shouting as Dori forced Ori back into his set. I then asked a question that most likely sounded idiotic to the Dwarves. But I was curios damn it.
"Smaug is a Dragon?" All went silent as everyone looked at as if I had just grown a second head. "What? I thought you were speaking of a Dragon. Well till you said that he liked precious metals. Then I thought you were speaking of a Giant Galdo."
"What's a Galdo miss Annabel." I seemed to have caught Ori's attention with the Galdo.
"A Galdo is like what you described Smaug looked like, just -" I made my hands measure the rough hight - around the height of my torso - of one of those scaly buggers. "- smaller. Before that I thought Jabberwocky, till you said he liked precious metals." I noticed their curiosity and decided to sedate it for them before anyone could speak it. "A Jabberwocky is a huge skeletal like, scaly body beast, with glowing red eyed, dagger like teeth, and long meat hook talons born from fear, hate, remorse, dread, and death." His description seemed to be scaring worrying them now. "He can breath a beam of blue flames that can pierce anything and anyone." I seemed to be intimidating the Dwarves now. "But unlike your metal loving Dragon, the Jabberwocky only loves to kills and destroy. And his skin is so strong only one blade can hurt it and their is only one of those blades that existence." Bilbo seemed to be shaking in his nonexistent boots when he stuttered out a question.
"Are-are there a-a-any in Middle Earth?"
"Non that I know of. I only know of one and he's from and lives in Wonderland."
"Wonderland?" Kili seemed curious about my home world.
"Yes, Wonderland is were I'm from. It's where I got that -" I pointed to the still glowing crystal that seemed to glow in pride now. "- and this -" I pointed to the bag hanging from my right shoulder. "- and it's also why I dress like this." I gestured to all of me knowing that some - if not all - questioned my way of dressing. "And no you cannot reach it by water, air, or ground." Thorin then said the question everyone me and Bilbo had been trying to figure out for six years.
"Then how did you get here?" I just shrugged to him.
"I don't know, Bilbo and I have been trying to find the answer for six years."
"Six years?" I looked to Bofur.
"Yes." A pregnant silence fell among us all as I felt eyes look to me with pity. But one seat of eyes in particularly; Thorin's that I could feel burning into the side of my head.
I decided to break the silence and bring the conversation back on its beginning track by looking to Ori.
"By the way." Ori looked to me."How would he be able to taste Dwarfish iron when it's up his -" I thought for a moment to remember the word."- jackie?"
"Miss Devin is right." Balin paused."In a way." I mad a confused look to Balin. "The task would be difficult with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen. Not thirteen of the best. Nor brightest." Balin's statement seemed to create a small riot among the Dwarves. Fili thought it be the best time to bring up the spirits of his comrades.
"We may be few in number. But we're fighters. All of us. To the last dwarves." Kili added to his brothers statement.
"And you forget we have a wizard in are company, Gandalf would have killed hundreds of Dragons in his time." Kili's proclamation had put Gandalf on the spot as a Dragon killing wizard. Which seemed to displease Gandalf.
"Oh, woah, no I-I-I wouldn't say -"
"How many then." Dori interjected.
"What?"
"Well, how many Dragons have you killed?" Dori's question seemed Gandalf in a place he did not want as he huffed and puffed on his pipe smoke wall everyone watched him, waiting for an answer. I began to feel sorry for the poor old wizard.
"Come on give us a number!" It seems that the Gandalf silence did not bod well with the Dwarves as they began bicker amongst one another.
Thorin - like I - had become tired of the squabbling and Bilbo's pleas for them to quiet. As he shouted for them to be silent.
"If we have read this signs do you not think others have read them too." The Dwarves silenced as the listened to their leader. "Rumors have begun to spread. The Dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to mountain; assessing, wondering , weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of are people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back. Wall others claim what is rightfully ours. Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor." Thorin's speech rose the Dwarves spirits - even my own - high as they cheered in agreement.
That was till Balin put Middle Earth logic into equation.
"You forget. The front gate is sealed. Their is no way into the mountain."
"That my dear Balin isn't entirely true." Gandalf twirled an old metal key in his hand. The key seemed to hold significants to Thorin.
"How did you come by this?" This was the first time I've seen the Dwarf leader shocked.
"It was given to me by your father, Thrain. For safe keeping. Tis yours now." Gandalf spoke as he handed the key to Thorin.
"If there is a key. There must be a door." Fili spoke.
"No." I felt the needed to interject. But Bilbo already seemed to know what I was thinking.
"No, no Annabel." We all looked to Bilbo as he spoke to me. "Your think with Wonderland logic not Middle Earth logic." I finally processed what Fili meant.
"Oh, your right." I now looked to Fili as everyone looked to me. "I'm sorry for the confusion sir Fili." It seemed the blonde Dwarf and the others could not help but smile at my mistake. "Proceed."
Gandalf continued to speak as if I had never spoken at all.
"These ruins speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."
"There's another way in." Kili spoke with joy.
"Well if we can find it." Gandalf interjected. "Dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map. But I don't have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle Earth that can. the task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage." He looked to Bilbo not so discreetly. "But if we are careful and clever." Gandalf now looked to me not so discreetly, to which I tipped my head to the side in wonder.
"That's why we need a burglar." Ori spoke in glee as he looked Bilbo's way.
"Hmm, a good one too. An expert I imagine." Bilbo agreed. Unknowing of were this would leave him.
"And are you?" Gloin questioned Bilbo.
Bilbo looked around himself.
"Am I what?" He questioned.
"He said he's an expert." Oin stated. I only could only shake my head in pity for my Hobbit friend.
"What me? No, no, no, no I'm no a burglar. I'v never stolen a thing in my life." He looked to me. "Annabel -" I looked to him. "- in all the six years that you've known me, have I ever stolen anything. Ever."
I shook my head. "No sir Bilbo. I've never seen or heard of you stealing anything." He nodded his head and turned back to the Dwarves. "Except for my baked goods, when I tell to leave them be." I added. Bilbo flushed and looked at me as if I had stabbed him in the back just a moment ago.
"I'm afraid I have to agree with mister Baggins and lady Annabel. He's hardly burglar material." Bilbo nodded eagerly to Balin's statement.
"I'ye, the wild is no place for gentle folk that can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Bilbo agreed as everyone but me and Thorin voiced their opinions. It seemed Gandalf though did not agree.
"Enough!" Gandalf shouted as the he rose from his and the room started began to take a darker feeling around him. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar then a burglar he is." It seemed that is all in took for everyone but Bilbo to agree. "Hobbit's are remarkably light on their feet. In fact they can pass by most if they choice. And wall the Dragon is accustom to the smell of Dwarf, the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage." Gandalf sat as he spoke to Thorin. "You asked me to find me you the fourteenth and fifteenth members of this company. And I have chosen mister Bagging -" Bilbo looked flabbergasted. "And miss Devin." I perched up as Gandalf nodded to when he said my name. "There's a lot more to them then appearances suggest. And they have a great deal to offer then any of you know. He looked to use. "I clouding themselves." Bilbo I understood me I did not.
Gandalf looked to Thorin.
"You must trust me on this."
"Very well. We will do it your way." Thorin spoke.
"Wait, no, please." Bilbo would still not agree.
Thorin looked to Balin.
"Give them the contracts." Balin nodded as he stood and took out two folded pieces of paper as everyone grew happy at the news. A nodded my head and smiled a lager smile as I asked for an ink and quill pen as I reached out and toke the handed out contract.
"It's just the usual, summary of pocketed expenses, time required for iteration, funeral arrangements, so forth." This seemed to surprise and shock poor Bilbo. Wall that was happing I quickly unraveled and scanned the contract for any loopholes in it And pointed or questioned them to Balin - who was kind enough to explain.
"Funeral arrangements?" He questioned worriedly. I had almost missed what Thorin whispered conversation between Gandalf.
"I cannot guarantee their safety."
"Understood."
"Nor will I be responsible for their fates."
"Agreed."
I ignored the anything else they may have said to each other as I listened to Bilbo's aloud reading. If they won't protect him then I will. If he comes that is. I listened to what he read.
"Toes, cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if any. Hm seems fair." Me and Gandalf smiled as we listened to Bilbo."Uh, present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained consisted their of beyond and not limited to lacerations, -" Gandalf looked shocked at what he heard wall he looked to my momentarily surprised expression and then watched Bilbo as he continued to list off the injuries. "- eves serration, incineration!" Bilbo looked to the Dwarves and I looked to them just to see what they say.
"Oh, I'ye he'll melt the skin off your bones in the blink of an eye." Bofur explained.
Bilbo looked sick.
"You alright laddie?" Seemed like everyone noticed Bilbo's discomfort and if not they did after Balin's question.
"Yeah I think -" He took a few shot quick breathes as he bent on his knees."- I feel a bit faint." Bofur shot up and walked over my legs a to the arch way.
"Think furnace with wings." Bofur interjected.
"Yeah, yeah I need that." Bilbo sarcastically spoke back.
"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof. Your nothing more then a pill of ash." Bofur added to his last statement. It seemed to make Bilbo think of it for a moment. We waited to see the effects it had on.
"Nope." Was all he said before he fainted.
"Very helpful Bofur." Gandalf said with sarcasm as he and I got up to move Bilbo to the living room. I made sure to make him upside the head as I walked base him to Bilbo.
"Your way of calming someone makes little logic, sir Bofur." I stated went on my knees to check the unconscious Hobbit.
Bofur just shrugged as he rubbed his head.
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