Chapter 5
Apov
End of the school year
To say this school years was hard is putting it mildly. My mom confessed about her affair with Mr. Hyde so my dad divorced her. I had to beg for her to let me stay with dad. I didn't want to leave my friends, let alone my boyfriend. After all Jose and Ethan have been my rocks threw this whole situation. I know you're probably wondering about Kate but Mia has been more then happy to step in for her. She is like a new sister and I hate to say it but I don't miss Kate. She has become somewhat of best friends with Elena. I'm not jealous or even angry, Elena's with Christian and Kate's with Elliot, so it only makes since for them to be friends, right? Ethan says she's a different person since we're no longer close but as my boyfriend he understands I've been threw too much to deal with her. I love Ethan. He's supportive and caring, so I want to take our relationship to the next level. I decide to make an appointment to get on birth control. They say I can come in tomorrow. I briefly wonder if I should go by myself. I can't ask Kate, since she'll no doubt be with Elena. Speaking of Elena, I wonder where Christian is. I haven't spent time with him in a while. Well that's a lie. We spent time together as part of a group of friends every weekend. But I can't remember the last time Christian and I have been together by ourselves. I send him a text.
*I think we should spend time together before you leave for college. I miss you
Ana*
I wait five minutes, and then ten but nothing from Christian. I begin to feel sad, but then I realize he is probably in between someone legs. If Christian could be different maybe we could have had something. Don't get me wrong, I love the friendship we have. I just wish he knew how I felt about him when we first met. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk.
On the day of my appointment I'm scared out of my mind. I go alone since I didn't have anyone else. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I got a shot and they sent me on my way. Walking out I hear my phone beep and see a text from Christian.
*Do you still want to spend time with me before I leave?
Christian*
Wow, now he decides to text back. I text him and tell him where to pick me up. Ten minutes later he's driving along side the curb. I waste no time hugging him. I hadn't realized how much I missed his face.
"Christian, I missed you so much."
"What are you talking about? We just went bowling Saturday." He laughs a little.
"I know but you and I haven't done anything by ourselves in forever."
"Well what do you expect when you're always with your boyfriend." If I didn't know any better I would say he's jealous.
"You have some nerve. You and Elena are constantly dry humping each other." He looks at me with a smile on his lips.
"Oh believe me Ana, we do more then dry hump." Ewww! I did not need to know that. He burst into full blown laughter once he gets a look at my facial expression.
"Well maybe I will find out what all the fuss is about."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm thinking about having sex... with Ethan."
Everything stops. The car stops, my blinking stops, and Christian's breathing stops. He isn't scowling or yelling, still I can tell he's upset.
"Ana are you serious? I didn't know you guys were that serious about each other."
"We love each other. I'm sure you had sex with people you couldn't care less about" I meant it as a joke; to lighting the mood, he doesn't say anything. I don't know why he cares about what I do. We drive a little while longer ; in a very awkward silence before he stops in front of a house I don't know.
"Christian what's going on?" I can feel it. I know something bad is coming, I just hope it doesn't destroy Christian and I.
"Well Leila texted me, she has the house to herself and wanted company. I'm sure you could call Ethan to come pick you up" There it is. Wait. What did he just say? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS! I know Christian will drop whatever he is doing for a quick fuck. But I thought he cared enough about me to at least drop me off home before he ditched me to get laid.
"Christian,I thought we were going to spend time together. You graduate in a couple of weeks" My voice sounds scared, and if I'm honest with myself I guess I am. I don't want to lose him.
"Ana listen, I love you. I know what you're going to say, but I love you. I can deal with you being in a relationship with one of my best friends. I just can't deal with you fucking one of them."
I don't know what he expects me to say. If he would have said that he loved me before Ethan maybe I would feel different then how I feel now ;at this very moment in time I feel pissed off.
"Christian you can not tell me you love me. I thought I was too young for you. I don't care how you feel about my relationship with Ethan, and why should I? You never once cared how I felt about you and Elena, or you and Leila. If you're going to be my friend, be my friend and support the choices I make. If Ethan and I have sex tonight we will not be fucking, we will be making love."
I get out the car and walk towards the bus stop. If there was ever any chance of there being a relationship between Christian and I, surely he just ruined it.
Cpov Graduation Day
Ana hasn't said one word to me since I said I loved her. I've seen her, but she makes sure to stay by Ethan's side. I don't know if they had sex but Ana seems different. It's something about her that's changed. I can't put my finger on it. Ethan on the other hand is the same old nice guy that he has always been. They both seem really happy. I might hate them being together but they are still two of my closest friends, so I'm happy if their happy. The end of our graduation ceremony is the same as always - a bunch of congratulations from people I don't know; endless pictures with my family, and everyone trying to get invited to the last party I will throw. I don't really want to have a party. I just feel like everyone expects me to have one. I see my nearest and dearest- Elliot, Mia, Mom, Dad,Kate and Elena. Ethan's graduation is also today so I don't expect him to be here. I at least thought Ana would be. I guess she had to pick between the two of us, and she choose Ethan. I just want to get drunk and fuck anything that's walking.
"Who is coming to my party tonight!?" I yell to my fellow Graduates and watch as they cheer and scream. Kate is saying something to me.
"Everyone will be there. Well everyone one except Ana and my brother."
"Kate, what are you talking about?"
"The two of them are having dinner or something."
I swear to god they do everything together. I decide to try and get my mind off of Ana.
"So Elena, do you want to come over to help me set up for the party."
It's no secret what Elena and I are going to do. Mia looks like she wants to rip my head off.
"Christian can I speak with you for a minute."
"Of course anything for my little sister."
We walk until we reach a tree. Mia is the apple of my eye. I love her with all of my heart. So why does it look as if she wants to kill me?
"Christian I never wanted to hurt you so much in my life."
"Mia what did I do now?"
"You left Ana to go fuck Leila because your upset that she moved on with her life. The minute someone brings up Ethan and Ana all you want to do is fuck something ."
"I'm not thinking about Ana. If I want to have sex with someone I'll do it."
"You're a liar. Ana loved you at one point of time, Did you know that? You just couldn't see it. No matter how many girls you have sex with you will always regret losing her."
"Mia what can I do if she doesn't love me anymore?"
"You can try to be happy for two people that really care for one another."
I am happy for them; well at least I pretend to be happy for them. How can I be happy when somebody I love who decides to be with one of my friends? I know it's childish to think like this, but I just can't help it. I decide to have dinner with my Mom and Dad before I have my party. I'm sitting in the restaurant listening to my dad tell me how proud he is of me. When I look up and see Ana And Ethan in a passionate kiss. Ana looks as if she has been crying. I would love for them not to see us; naturally, Mia on the other hand has different plans.
"ANA! ANA!"
Gosh could she scream any louder. As soon as Ana notices Mia she begins to walk to our table. I have to admit she looks breathtaking. She has on a tight brown sleeveless dress with brown high heels, and her beautiful brown hair in a bun. She looks sexy, smart, and grownup but most of all she looks happy. Is it selfish of me to hate that she is happy and I have nothing to do with it?
"Oh my gosh Mia I was just going to call you?"
"Why"
"Look what Ethan gave me."
She has a necklace with an E made up of diamonds.
"Oh Ana it's so pretty."
"Oh sorry Christian congratulations! I'm so happy for you."
"Sure you are."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"Nothing it's just that I thought I would see you at my graduation, since we're friends." Point one for me.
"Well since you had Elena and Leila there I didn't think my presence was needed." One point for Ana, and then she's gone.
After dinner I head home and start getting ready for my party. It doesn't take long since all I really need is liquor and music. An hour before the part starts Elliot And Mia run to get some food, so I decide to pick out something to wear. I put everything on hold when the door bell rings. It's Ana.
"Um...I wanted to talk to you."
What? Why?
"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"
"Christian I realized that you're leaving for college and I know this is last minute, I just need you to hear me out."
"Okay."
"Christian, I love Ethan I couldn't be happier if I tried."
"Ana I really don't need to hear this."
"Yes you do Christian. As I was saying, I'm happy until the moment I see you. Every time we're near each other I second-guess everything that I have with Ethan. I know that makes me seem like a bad person but it's just how I feel."
"Ana what do want me to say? I told you how I felt and you left me."
"Christian you told me you loved me outside of the house of a girl you were about to fuck." She yells. She does have a point.
"Christian tell me, how you feel now that it's just the two of us?"
"Ana I love you. More then a friend should love another friend. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine. I want to own your heart, because you own mine."
I waste no more time on talking. I reach for her and pull her into a slow passionate kiss. I hold her as my lips move on their own accord; my tongue massages hers. I want to live in this moment.
"Christian wait, what about Ethan?"
"We have to tell him"
"We? You'll tell him with me?" Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
"Sure. I want to do everything with you."
There goes that smile.
"Okay. We can tell him at the party"
Ana leaves shortly afterward. I'm sad to see her go, I know once she comes back we can tell Ethan and begin a relationship. The party starts and there's no sign of Ana. Maybe she's just scared and taking her time is what I keep telling myself. Two hours into the party and no sign of Ana. She isn't coming, I can feel it, she isn't fucking coming. What was the point of her coming here? Fuck this I might as well drink my pain away; better yet where is Elena? There she is in her crop top and her high-waisted shorts.
"Elena baby I need you." Technically, I don't need her, I need Ana, but she will have to do.
"Show me what you want baby."
I lead her into my room and lose myself. I enjoy myself as she leaves a trail of kisses from my ear to my chest. She unbuckles my belt and grabs a handful of me. I feel myself getting hot. It's something about how she's kissing me and stroking me that's making me hard as wood.
"I'll make you remember me Christian Grey."
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you will. She pulls out my dick and I watch as she sucks and strokes my length. I just want to get to the good part, but I might as well enjoy the show. I'm almost there when she stops everything and impales herself on my dick. SHEESH! I grab onto her as she rides my dick. I need this to be rough. It's too much like love making when it's slow like this. So I flip her over and drive my dick into her repeatedly. Yup, this is just what I needed. I don't even remember why I was mad. OH SHIT! I can feel myself getting closer. I rub her clit so she could hurry up and we could cum together. And we do. I lay there for a while watching as Elena gets dressed.
"Christian, you've been weird lately, I thought I was losing you."
She crawls up the bed and kisses me just as the door flies open. Shit it's Ethan and Ana!
"Um sorry Christian, Ana said you wanted to talk about something but we see you're busy."
The look on Ana's face is heartbreaking and I hate that I'm the reason for it. "Ana listen-"
"No Christian it's okay I can tell him."
She wipes the one tear that has escaped her eye, and turns to Ethan and says, "Um... what Christian and I wanted to tell you was um… Christian is going to Harvard too. Surprise!"
"WOW really? That is so cool! I can't believe this. Why don't we talk about this when you're not naked?"
He laughs but I don't find anything funny. Ana leaves out the room she's practically running. The rest of the party was pointless. Everyone had a blast but I didn't see Ana for the rest of the night. I thought she left without so much as a goodbye but Mia gave me a box that she said Ana gave to her for me. Attached to it is a letter.
Dear Christian,
You really had me fooled. I really was willing to give up my happiness for you. I know now we could never be more then what we are. At first I hated that but now I grateful for it. So thank you for showing me that words mean nothing. Anyway I wanted to get you a graduation present. I remember you said you wanted a grand piano of your own one day, so I got you one.
Love always, your freshmen
Ana
I open the box and inside is a miniature Grand piano. I will cherish this forever simply because it's from her.
