I am genuinely surprised by the amount of you guys who like the Vickie/Negan interactions so far. I'm especially surprised by the people suggesting they would be good together! I struggled for over a year when writing this. I seriously didn't want to offend anyone. So it is a huge relief to know you guys still like where this is going... so far :P

...

Amber Skywalker Kenobi: You won't have to wait long... the RV scene is in this chapter :):) thanks for the review!

CJ/OddBall: I get a little anxious when I see I have a review... and then I opened yours and saw how long it was and totally expected it to be a negative one... thank God it wasn't! It actually made me laugh! First of all, I have seen TVD, but only to season 4, I have 5 but haven't watched it yet. And I've written some stories for it. Secondly, I can't tell you what they're relationship is going to be like, or what they're going to do, but I can say it won't be a brother/sister or father/daughter bond. Thirdly, you'll get some hints in this chapter as to what they're going to be like, so you don't have to wait too long :):) thanks for the review!

Guest: Thanks for the review, so glad you're enjoying the story so far :):)

MissTeller-Ortiz-Dixon: I really enjoyed writing it all again, but from Vickie's perspective :) Trust me, there are plenty of Negan/Vickie moments to come ;)

Bamby

VPOV

"Boom!" Negan laughed. I could feel the RV bounce as he ran over and into walkers. "That remind you of anybody you know?" he chuckled.

After a while, we stopped.

Still staring at the table, I could only listen as Negan pulled the keys out of the ignition before he got up. He moved over to where dad sat on the couch across from the table and behind the passenger seat.

He took a seat next to dad and reached over, pulling the axe out of the table as he spoke to dad. "You are mine. The people back there, they are mine. This." He gestured to the axe. "This is mine. Her." He pointed to me. "She is mine."

I was too numb to say anything, or argue. But I knew the truth. My fingers began to fiddle with my wedding ring. The feel of the metal moving against my skin was a physical reminder, one I needed in my state of mind. I was Daryl's. I would always be Daryl's.

Negan stood and moved to the door, opening it. He killed a walker that was too close, before he reached out and tossed the axe on to the roof.

"Hey, Rick go get my axe. Let's be friends." He grinned. Another walker came to the door, this time he used Lucille to kill it. Dad didn't move, causing Negan to sigh. He clearly wasn't pleased. "If you don't do it, I'm sure your lovely daughter will. She's already said she'll do anything," he noted, still grinning.

Dad hesitated a moment before he took a deep breath and got to his feet, turning to Negan. Negan grabbed dad's shoulder and pushed him out of the door, slamming the door behind him and locking it, leaving the two of us alone, and my dad out with the walkers. I had a feeling dad had the better deal.

Sighing, Negan placed Lucille down on the chair where dad had been sitting, before he turned to the cupboards and began to look through them. I watched his every move as he went from cupboard to cupboard without a word until he found something.

"Ah! Goody." He smiled, pulling out a first aid kit and turning to me. "Let's get you cleaned up, Sweetheart." He nodded, moving to crouch by me.

I watched him, wanting to flinch away, but knowing better than to do that. If I upset this man, he'd already proven that he wouldn't think twice about putting me in my place... or killing me.

"I need you to turn and face me, Sweetheart." When I didn't move, he sighed. Placing the kit on the table, he then reached over and grabbed my knees, turning me so I now faced him. "There we go." He smiled again.

He opened and looked through the first aid kit. His smile widened a little as he pulled out some distilled water, placing the bottle on his knee as he grabbed a cloth from his pocket. He set the kit back on the table and opened the bottle. Placing the cloth on the lip, he poured some water on it, never saying a word as he worked away.

Nodding, he looked up at me, and grabbed my face. I flinched, but he simply clicked his tongue in disapproval. "If I was going to hurt you, I would have when you opened your mouth back with the others," he stated as he lifted the cloth to my face and began to clean my cut.

I gave a small, confused frown as I watched him. But his eyes were focused on the task at hand, wiping away the dirt and blood from my face, cleaning my wound. He didn't rush either, he was quite gentle and patient, making sure he did the job correctly.

"What happened here, anyway?"

I suddenly found my voice. It was small, and scared, but it was there nonetheless. "One of your men slapped me, and opened up my wound."

He paused. "Did they, now? And who would that be?"

"I don't know your people or their names. Can't exactly answer that question," I noted.

"Fair enough." He nodded, continuing with the cleaning. "Well, what about your name? Can you tell me that?"

"Victoria," I answered, seeing no point in lying or refusing to answer. He'd find out anyway.

"Victoria." He nodded. "Vickie." Finished with my cut, he then wiped at my cheeks, cleaning the tear streaks from them.

I watched him. I had no idea what was happening, but this was not the man that had been outside threatening and killing my friends. It was like he had a switch of his own, going from homicidal lunatic, to a soft gentleman.

We could hear dad on the roof now. Negan looked up as if he only just remembered he had other stuff to deal with.

Clearing his throat, he spoke aloud so dad could hear him. "Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin' around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after. No. Doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore," he called as he got to his feet. "Think about what happened."

I looked away from him, thinking about the rest of our group. He could still kill them. He could still hurt them. He could still do anything. He'd already killed two of us. He could easily kill more- if not all- of us.

"People died, Rick. It's what happened. Doesn't mean the rest of them have to." He paused, grabbing the gun. "Get me my axe." But dad didn't move. "Get me my axe!"

I looked up at the roof as well, wondering what dad was doing. Why wasn't he talking back? Why wasn't he moving? Was he hurt? Was he even still alive? Had he been bit?

"I thought you were the guy, Rick. Maybe you're not. We'll give it one more go. Now, I really want you to try this time. Last chance. Bring me, my axe!" he yelled before he lifted the gun and began to shoot at the roof.

I heard dad then, hearing his feet on the roof as he ran. Negan followed, moving to the back of the RV. He stood in front of the window, looking out, no doubt watching dad- where ever he was.

He opened the window and pointed the gun out at whatever was there. My heart raced and my eyes went wide as I thought the worst. But as he began to shoot, I caught sight of dad hanging from something. He appeared to be unharmed as Negan shot at the walkers and not at him.

"Clock is ticking, Rick!" Negan noted before he closed the window. "Think about what can still happen."

Turning on his heels, he came back to join me, sitting on the other side of the table, watching me with a slight grin on his lips.

"Who's the lucky man?" he asked. When I looked at him confused, he pointed to my wedding ring. "Your husband. Who is he?" I looked away and he just chuckled. "Okay, okay. You don't wanna say. So why don't we play a little guessing game then? It wasn't Red, because he was with the Mexican." He paused. "Although, you did say they were ex's."

"He's current girlfriend was the one to my dad's left." I glared at him.

"Oh, shit... he got around." He nodded before thinking about it again. "You're not Maggie, so it wasn't the Asian boy." He sighed, "I hope to God it isn't the wimp. The one with the mullet." When I said nothing he went on. "So, is it the back-pack guy?" he asked, talking about Aaron. When I didn't answer, he shook his head. "No not him. What about someone from back-" He stopped himself. "Wait. No. It's not the redneck, is it?"

I looked down at my ring, and that was answer enough.

He laughed. "Oh, man." He shook his head. "Would have never pegged you as the rough man type. What, isn't he like twice your age too? What's a pretty girl like you doing with a man like him? You're not holding hands and singing songs, that's for sure."

I snapped. "Age doesn't matter, and he's more than just a redneck! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

He just laughed harder. "You got some balls on you for a girl. Just like your man and your brother. Speaking of which... what's the kid's name?"

"Carl," I answered, though was more hesitant about giving him Carl's name then I was my own.

"Carl, Victoria and Rick." He nodded. "One big happy family, right?" His grin was still firmly in place as he got to his feet. "I tell you what, Sweetheart. I'll make a deal with you. You ready?" he asked, moving to the front of the vehicle. "I promise to never, ever, kill your brother, if you promise to do what I say. That might be fetching a coffee or killin' a man, but either way, little brother Carl stays alive. We got a deal?" he asked as he pressed on the horn of the RV.

"And if I say no?"

"You can always say no." He walked back to sit in front of me again. "But for your family's sake, I suggest you don't." The sound of dad trying to open the locked door had me glance in that direction quickly. "Times ticking, Sweetheart." Negan was enjoying this. "I'm not opening the door until I get an answer."

"Fine. Deal," I told him, through gritted teeth.

"Let's shake on that." Reluctantly I reached forward to shake his hand, hating the warmth radiating off his body that heated my cool skin. "All right!" He chuckled, letting go of my hand, "We have a deal." Nodding he got to his feet again and grabbed the gun, unlocking and opening the door.

I couldn't see outside. I couldn't see dad. There was smoke, and a few shadows of walkers, but that's all I could see as Negan aimed his gun and began to shoot at random it seemed. But I knew better than that. He always did things on purpose. He wasn't the kind of guy to throw the line in and hope for the best. He always had a plan. I'd only met him hours ago, and I already knew that.

When he stopped shooting he lowered the gun and walked back to stand next to me as he waited for my dad. Dad rushed inside, slamming the door behind him.

Breathing heavily, covered in sweat, he looked up at Negan, the axe in his hand. Negan reached out and dad gave a short nod before he put the axe in Negan's hand and then sat at the table across from me, keeping his eyes on the other man.

Negan grinned. "Atta boy!" He nodded before sticking the axe into the table again. He turned and walked to the wheel where he started the engine and drove off once more.

...

The RV rolled to a stop.

Negan got up and moved to stand next to dad, looking down at him. "We're here, prick." When dad looked up at him, I could see Negan wasn't too happy. "This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been King Shit for so long." He came to stand by my side before he tapped my shoulder.

He didn't have to speak. His body did all the talking for him. I knew what he wanted, and I knew I had no choice but to do it. So, I slid over towards the wall without a sound or second thought.

He sat next to me, looking to dad again. "Losin' two of your own like." He clicked his fingers twice. "Gettin' 'em clipped like that, one nut, then the other, and in front of your boy and Victoria here?" He shook his head as he grabbed the first aid kit. "That is some screwed-up shit!"

I watched his hands. I didn't like him sitting so close to me. I didn't like what he could do while being this close. So I kept my eye on his hands. I wanted to know exactly where they were. If I knew what they were doing, I'd know if I was in danger.

"You were in charge." He pulled the cloth out of the kit- the one he'd used on my face- and another bottle of distilled water. "Hell, you were probably addicted to it." He pulled the axe from the table. "And now, well, clip, clip, that's over." He poured some water on to the blade before he started to clean it, still talking. "But you can still lead a nice, productive life producing for me." He offered dad the axe. "I think you're gonna need it. I just got a feelin'." He grinned.

But dad didn't take it.

Negan's grin fell as he sighed. "So, take it."

As dad reached for the axe, his hand wrapping around the handle, Negan got to his feet. He grabbed dad's collar and pulled him up, dragging him to the door.

"Come on, Victoria," he called over his shoulder as he kicked the door open and threw dad out.

Negan stepped out of the vehicle and turned around, waiting for me. I moved to stand on the step, but couldn't get out as he was in my way. Which is what he wanted, I guess, because without hesitating, he reached up, placed each hand on my waist and lifted me, pressing me against him as he carried me out of the RV.

I'd wanted to push him away, but he'd shocked me. He was gentle and careful, setting me down and not letting go until he was sure I was stable.

Leaning back into the vehicle, he pulled Lucille out before looking to me. "Would you hold this for me, Sweetheart?" He grinned knowingly as I took it. "Good girl." He nodded before grabbing my arm and dad's collar.

As he walked us I realised we were back with our group. They were watching the three of us as Negan dragged dad along the floor, and walked beside me.

He let go of dad once he stood in front of our people. "Here we are." He smiled, looking to each face before turning to me. "Sweetheart?" He hadn't let go of my arm yet. Lifting his free hand, he gestured to Lucille and smiled as I handed her over. "Thank you."

His charming behaviour was confusing me. I was already finding it hard to keep a straight mind. Everything hurt and everything was still so wrong. He wasn't helping the situation.

My mind couldn't figure out who was good and who was bad. What was wrong and what was right. In fact, my head had moments where it was sure I was still kneeing in front of Glenn's body... I don't think I'd ever truly get away from that.

Negan turned to dad. "Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you even know what that little trip was about?" When dad didn't say anything, Negan spoke again. "Speak when you're spoken to."

"Okay," dad answered, breathing heavily. "Okay."

Pleased, Negan went on. "That trip was about the way that you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand." He shrugged. "But you're still looking at me the same damn way like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work." He knelt by dad with a sigh. "So do I give you another chance?"

It took a moment, but eventually, dad spoke. "Yeah. Yes. Yes."

I bit back tears as I looked up at the sky. Hearing my dad sound so weak... he was the strongest man I knew. If Negan could bring him down so easily, there was no hope for the rest of us.

"Okay." Negan patted him on the back before he got to his feet. "All right. And here it is, the grand-prize game." He grinned. "What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day." He turned to his men. "Get some guns to the back of their heads."

I watched with wide eyes as some Saviours stepped out of the crowd, each moving to stand behind one of my loved ones who were still lined up. Lifting their guns, they aimed them at the back of their heads, cocking the weapons.

"Good." Negan nodded, grinning widely. "Now level with their noses, so if you have to fire." He imitated the sound of an explosion. "It'll be a real mess." He turned to Carl and I felt my already hard and fast beating heart, beat even more harder and faster. "Kid, right here." He gestured for Carl to come before he pointed to the ground by his feet.

I watched my brother as he just looked at the man without moving.

Negan sighed and turned to me. "Go get your brother," he told me before looking to Carl again.

My eyes went wider at the thought of me having to get my brother and bring him to whatever torturous things Negan had install for him.

"I'm coming," Carl told him before I even had the chance to move.

"Good." Negan nodded. "Vickie, Sweetheart, would you help me out here?" He turned to me again as Carl moved towards us. With a grin on his face, he stepped closer to me. "Could you help me take my belt off?"

I looked him in the eyes without moving. I didn't want to touch him, let alone his belt or anything around that area. But as he watched me with that cocky grin, and knowing eyes, I knew I had no choice.

I rested my hands on his belt and began to unbuckle it. Negan watched me, tilting his head as his eyes clouded over. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was thinking.

As I pulled the belt from his pants, he hummed. "Mm. Perfect." He took the belt from me. "Thank you, Sweetheart. Now, could you hold Lucille?" I took Lucille from his hands, keeping eye contact with him as I did so. He turned back to Carl, who now stood by dad. "You a southpaw?" he asked as he grabbed Carl's left hand.

"Am I a what?" Carl asked, not hiding the fact that he hated this man.

"You a lefty?"

"No."

Nodding, Negan grabbed Carl's left arm. "Good." He started wrapping the belt around the top of my brother's arm. "That hurt?"

Carl shook his head. "No."

I could see it did. But I could see he didn't want to show weakness. Negan played on weakness. All monsters did.

I couldn't see Negan's face but I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Should. It's supposed to." He finished wrapping the belt around Carl's arm. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to daddy. Spread them wings." He took Carl's hat off his head and pointed to the ground, telling Carl where to lay. "Vickie." He gestured for me to take the hat and I did. Once Carl was on the dirt, Negan looked to Simon. "Simon... you got a pen?"

Simon nodded. "Yeah." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and threw it to Negan.

Negan caught the pen and pulled the lid off with his teeth as he crouched in between dad and Carl. "Sorry, kid." He pulled the sleeve of Carl's left arm up. "This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across the forearm." He drew a line along Carl's forearm. "There you go. Gives you a little leverage."

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. What was worse was the fact I couldn't even do anything. If I tried to stop Negan, he'd kill someone. I knew it. He knew it. Everyone did.

But dad, he wasn't just going to roll over and let Negan do it. He wasn't going to fight either. "Please. Please. Please don't," he begged. "Please don't."

Negan put the lid back on the pen and grinned as he turned to dad. "Me?" He shook his head. "I ain't doing shit." He stood again. "Rick, I want you to take your axe cut your son's left arm off, right on that line."

I couldn't watch this... "Please-"

But Negan just turned to me, cutting me off. "Shh, Sweetheart." He lifted his hand, lightly brushing his fingers against my cheek as he wiped a tear from my face. "Shh."

I felt sick. I felt numb. I knew I should want to pull back from him, to fight, but I was too weak and empty to do anything but let my head fall.

He turned back to dad, but still stayed close to me. "Now, I know- I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense." He shrugged. "Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die." He gestured to me. "I'll keep her around. I like her. And I'll keep you breathing for a few years, too. Just so you can stew on it."

"You- You don't have to do this." Michonne shifted on the spot where she still knelt. "We understand. We understand."

"You understand. Yeah." Negan nodded, grinning again. "I'm not sure that Rick does." He looked down at dad. "I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed-up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice. Nothing messy, clean, 45 degrees. Give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine." He shrugged. "Probably."

I couldn't just stand there, I had to try. For Carl. For dad. For everyone.

I grabbed Negan's arm. "Choose me. Cut my arm off. He's just a boy."

Negan's eyes landed on my hand that rested on his arm, before they met mine. "I get it, I do, Sweetheart. You'll do anything for your people. But, you're not the one that needs to learn the lesson."

I would do anything for these people. I'd proven that before. Many times. I would even let Negan kill me if I had to. I'd let him take me away even if it meant I never got to see my family again, just so I'd know they were safe.

But Negan knew that. We'd only met hours ago and yet we could both read each other like an open book. He knew what I was like. I knew what he was like. Which is why he wasn't going to let me take my brother's place. That would be too easy.

Sighing, he turned back to dad again. "Rick, this needs to happen now. Chop, chop. Or I'll make Victoria chop it off and then I'll crush your skull myself and make everyone here watch."

"It can- It can- It can be me," dad offered. "It can be me. Y-You can do it to me. I c- I can go with- with you."

"No." Negan shook his head. "This is the only way." A sob left my lips, causing him to look to me again. "I know. I know. Shh." He brushed my hair behind my ear. Without looking at dad, he spoke. "Rick pick up the axe." Yet dad still didn't move. Negan sighed, dropping his hand from my cheek. "Not making a decision is a big decision, Rick. You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every-fucking-thing."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't watch this. I wished I could just black out and never have to open my eyes again. I wish the world would open up and swallow me whole. I wish we could go back in time and change things. I wish I'd stayed home like dad had wanted. I wish it had been me Negan killed. I wish... I wish... I wish...

"Oh, my God." Negan groaned, turning away from me. "Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win." He shook his head. "Vickie, Lucille." He reached his hand out. I handed Lucille over to him with shaking hands. "I am counting. Three!"

"Please," dad begged, now crying. "Please. It can be me. Please!"

Negan ignored him, kneeling between dad and Carl again. "Two!"

"Please, don't do-"

Negan slapped dad, cutting him off. He grabbed dad's face, looking into his eyes. "This is it." He made dad look at Carl. "One!"

Dad was a mess. I'd never seen him like this. Crying, weeping. He could hardly breath and I wondered if he could even see through his tearing eyes. It broke my heart all over again, having to stand there and watch this all unfold.

"Dad, just do it." Carl's voice caught my attention. He nodded at dad, a defeated look in his eyes. "Just do it."

Dad looked down at Carl, unsure. But he knew he had to. He knew he had no choice. Not if he wanted the rest of us to live.

Grabbing the axe, still a mess of tears and cries, dad lifted the weapon above his head as his free hand held on to Carl's arm, getting ready.

"Rick." Negan knelt by dad, stopping him. When dad looked him in the eye, he spoke. "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?" When dad just nodded, he snapped. "Speak when you're spoken to!" He held dad's face in his hand again. "You answer to me! You provide for me!"

Dad nodded. "Provide for you."

"You belong to me, right?!"

"Right," dad agreed through sobs.

"Right." Negan calmed down, his grin returning. "That is the look I wanted to see." He stood, grabbing the axe and looking to everyone. "We did it. All of us, together. Even the dead guys on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure," he sighed, nodding. "Today was a productive damn day! Now, I hope, for all your sake that you get it now. That you understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you, that is over now." He grinned. "Dwight load him up." He gestured to Daryl.

My eyes snapped towards Daryl just as Dwight grabbed him and pulled him towards the van. I cried as Daryl was thrown into the vehicle, the door slammed shut behind him.

No. Out of everything Negan could do... to take Daryl. He was the only one who could keep me going. He was my life line. He was the love of my life. Without him...

"No, please," I begged, shaking my head. "Please."

Negan looked to me. "Sweetheart, I know, but I gotta take someone. And he's got guts. Not a little bitch like someone I know." He gestured to dad, pausing before going on about Daryl again. "I like him." He grabbed my chin, but was gentle as he held my face. I sobbed as he spoke. "He's mine now. Just like you're all mine now."

I flinched but stayed where I stood. There was no point in fighting. There was no point in doing anything but staying where we were. Negan had shown us what he could do, and what he would do. I didn't want to make him angry again.

He turned to the rest of my group. "But you still want to try something? 'Not today, not tomorrow'." He grinned. "'Not today, not tomorrow'? I will cut pieces off of..." He paused for a moment, turning to Simon. "Hell's his name?"

"Daryl." Simon answered.

I whimpered at the sound of Daryl's name.

Negan ignored me. "Wow." he chuckled. "That actually sounds right." He looked down at dad then. "I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep. Or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me." He grinned. "Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits! I'm gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you're gonna find me.

"We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then ta-ta." He turned to leave but stopped. Bending down, he lifted something and turned to me, offering me my bat. "I want you to keep it." He grinned. I knew it was him telling me not asking, and so I had no choice. I took it. "You better have it when we come visit." He told me, not hiding the fact his eyes were looking me up and down before he turned to leave.

Once he was gone I felt myself take in a deep breath. But it just opened the box of emotions I'd been keeping closed, and just like that I fell to my knees as I began to cry uncontrollably. I hugged myself as the tears kept coming, as my body shook.

Arms wrapped around me. I was only vaguely aware of Carl holding me to him as he whispered sweet nothings in my ear and stroked my hair comfortingly. I just let the tears keep coming. I felt like it would never stop. I felt like I could die just from crying so much. I felt like I would never heal from this night.

There was noise and movement coming from the others once all the Saviours were gone. I didn't look over, but I could hear them all talking even as I kept crying.

"Maggie," dad spoke, trying to stop me. "Maggie." But she didn't respond. "Maggie, you need to sit down." He got to his feet. "Maggie."

I could hear her now, sobbing and trying to breath as she walked. I couldn't look though. I could turn and face her after what I'd done. Glenn would still be alive if it wasn't for me... I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"No," she told him.

"We need to get you to the Hilltop." Dad was worried about her. I would be too if I wasn't already so upset.

"You need to go get ready," she argued.

Dad paused before asking, "For what?"

"To fight them," she managed to answer even though she was clearly unwell and struggling.

"They have Daryl. They have an army," dad noted and I whimpered again at the sound of Daryl's name. "We would die. All of us."

"Go home." Her voice broke. "Take everybody with you. I can get there by myself."

"You can barely stand up."

"I need to go. You need to go to Alexandria. You were out- out here for me." She felt guilty. I could hear it in her words and voice. She felt guilty, just like me. But it was my fault, not hers.

"We still are," dad insisted.

"I can make it now," she sobbed. "I need you to go back. I can't have you out here. I can't have you all out here anymore. I need you to go back."

"Maggie we're not letting you go," Michonne spoke up. "Okay?"

But Maggie wasn't listening. "You have to."

"It's not gonna happen." Dad wasn't giving up either.

"I'm taking her," Sasha offered. "I'm gonna get her there. I'm gonna keep her safe. I'm not giving you a choice," she told Maggie.

"I'm taking him with me." I knew Maggie was talking about Glenn.

I tore myself from Carl then and turned to see my best friend kneeling by her dead husband. My crying stopped just like that, as my eyes were once more glued to the scene before me. The red. In the light, it was so much worse. You could see it all...

I pushed at Carl, using the last of my energy. "Go." The word was barely above a whisper, but he heard me.

Carl got up and moved to Maggie as she spoke to Aaron. My brother stood behind her, grabbing her arm softly and carefully as he tried to pull her up. But she wouldn't move. She wouldn't leave Glenn.

Dad knelt in front of her. "Pl- Pl- Please let us. He- He's our family- He's our family, too."

Maggie looked up at him. I wasn't looking at dad, so I couldn't see what she saw, but it was enough to get her to nod and pull back, getting to her feet. Dad, Aaron and Carl lifted Glenn's body from the ground and started to move towards the van Negan had left for us as Michonne held on to Maggie. Sasha, Eugene and Rosita carried Abraham.

I stayed where I was as I looked at the blood and brains of my friend. Of Glenn. Glenn. It was my fault. My fault. He would still be alive if I hadn't... I shouldn't have... I could have... it's my fault. Never should have... why didn't I...?

An image formed in my mind.

In front of me sat a long table, set on the grass back at home. Years have gone by. We're all clean. The food set in front of us delicious.

Dad's sitting at the end of the table, with Michonne on his right and Gabriel on his left. Carol is sitting next to Gabriel, facing Tara. Judith- all grown up, now maybe four or five- stands in between Carl and Enid- who is next to Carol. Rosita and Tara are talking across from my brother and sister. Aaron and Eugene are joking around, each looking over the table at the other. Spencer and a pregnant Sasha laugh as Morgan tells a joke. Abraham smiles at and older Aly who sits across from him. Daryl, who's sitting next to a beaming Maggie, looks up at Glenn and myself.

I look over at Glenn as we stand by the end of the table. His son stands by his legs, looking up at my arms in wonder. A baby sleeps in my grasp as I rock it gently. My eyes look down to the table, to all my friends, to my family, and then to my baby, before they meet Glenn's.

He's happy. We're all happy. Things could never be better...

"Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin' around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after." Negan's voice echoed in my mind. "No. Doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore."

Staring at the red stained ground, I felt my skin buzz as my insides went numb, and my mind went blank and my heart no longer ache as everything inside me finally fell apart.

Bamby