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Chapter 3

Denerim – The Day of the Landsmeet

"Love bites, love bleeds, it's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies, it's no surprise

Love begs, love pleads, it's what I need"

Love Bites – Def Leppard

Everything had happened so fast that at first Alistair couldn't believe his ears let alone react. Up to this moment everything had gone as planned. They had won the Landsmeet, Amanda had defeated Loghain in the duel, he had surrendered and now the Warden from Olais was asking them to conscript Loghain into the Wardens. Conscript this traitor? Was this man crazy? And Amanda, his Mandi was acting like she was actually considering this? Had he stepped out the room for a moment and the world had gone completely mad in his absence?

"You want to make him a Warden, Why?" Amanda asked.

"There are only three Wardens in all of Ferelden and there are compelling reasons to have as many Wardens on hand to deal with the Archdemon," Riordan replied.

Alistair felt the taint pull in his chest. It was her taint as she tried to reach out to him; as she pleaded for him to trust her, but he pushed it aside as his anger began to rise.

Anora stepped forward with her hands clasped in front of her. "The joining is often fatal is it not? If he survives the joining, you have gained a general to aid against the Blight. If he dies then you have your revenge. Does that not satisfy you?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Alistair exclaimed. "Riordan, this man abandoned our brothers and then blamed us for the deed. He hunted us down like animals, he tortured you. How can we just forget that?"

Amanda reached out for his arm, but Alistair pulled his arm out her reach. She looked into his eyes and pleaded with him. "Alistair, Riordan has a point. There are only three Wardens left; we need more numbers. We should put him through the joining," Amanda countered.

Alistair looked into her eyes and he could see her begging him to trust her. He felt her taint once again as she reached out to pleaded with him to have faith and believe in her. He remembered the first time she had asked him to trust her.

Alistair stood at the edge of the cliff and looked over the rim at the crystal clear lake that was below. He looked at Amanda standing beside him at the precipice in her small clothes. She held her hand towards him palm up, "Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?" She asked again.

"Of course I do."

"Then take my hand and jump with me," she coerced.

Alistair took a deep breath and took her hand. She grasped it tightly in hers, "On the count of three. One, two, threeeeee."

And the two of them leapt off the side of the cliff and plunged into the lake below; it was one of the most exhilarating, thrilling experiences of his life and if he hadn't trusted her he would have never experienced it.

The tug of her taint was so strong; it was almost overwhelming and the plea rang out in his head over and over again – "trust me, trust me, have faith in me". He wanted to believe that she knew what she was doing, but as he looked over at the smug face of Loghain, all of the anger and hatred towards the man rose to the surface.

"No, joining the Wardens is an honor not a punishment…"

"Oh really Alistair, then why did Duncan conscript Daveth? He was a thief, a cheat and a lair, but Duncan put those things aside because Wardens are suppose to do whatever it takes to defeat the Blight," Amanda interrupted.

"Daveth didn't kill all the Wardens in Ferelden. That man did! We are in this predicament because that man slaughtered our brothers and sisters in Ostagar. You make him a Warden and you cheapin' all of us. I will not stand next to him as a brother," Alistair declared.

"Alistair, we need all the help we can get. Please stand beside me on this decision," Amanda said pleadingly as she reached out to again through the taint.

He remember the last time she had pleaded with him to stand by her, he hadn't supported her in that decision either and things didn't turn out very well and it nearly destroyed their relationship.

They had just arrived back at camp after saving Connor from the desire demon. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the castle today," he said as he rounded on her.

"You were there. You saw what happened," Amanda replied coolly.

"YOU let Lady Isolde sacrifice herself with blood magic. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" He shouted at her.

"How could I do what? Use blood magic or allow Isolde to sacrifice herself?" She asked calmly.

"BOTH!" He spat at her.

"Would you rather that Connor was dead?" She asked reasonably.

"No of course not, but we could have gone to the Circle of Magi, Amanda. We could have tried harder. We could have done something that didn't involve blood magic," he retorted.

"Alistair you might want to read up on your Grey Warden history next time you are in a library. Grey Wardens do whatever it takes to defeat the blight AT- ANY-COST! Sometimes they utilize unconventional methods and at times that has included blood magic. We are Grey Wardens, Alistair, not Templars. I recall Duncan reminding you of that fact the first day we met."

At the mention of Duncan's name Alistair's face became ever redder if that was even possible. "DUNCAN also taught me that Grey Wardens have a responsibility to protect people and keep them safe! You sacrificed Isolde's life! How could you be so cold? What gives you the right to make that decision?"

Amanda's voice was low and controlled, but also dangerous as she growled out her reply, "I was living up to my responsibilities. I was protecting the people of this town and keeping safe them. The circle would take four days around trip. I could not risk the lives of everyone in this entire village in hopes that the Circle could help us. I'm sorry to say, but the lives of the many outweigh the life of one. So as the leader of this merry band I made the tough decision a decision that you wouldn't have had the courage to make and you know it! That's why YOU made me the leader, but the moment I make a decision that you disagree with you attack me and question my motives. How f-u-c-k-i-n-g dare you?"

He hadn't stood by her that day and had questioned her motives when in reality she was only doing what she thought was best. It may not have been the best decision, but she had managed saved Connor's life. So here we are again and once more she was asking him to stand by her and once again he didn't think he could, not when she was asking him to support her decision to conscript Loghain.

Alistair pushed the pull of her taint aside as he hardened his gaze and his heart toward her. "Loghain is a traitor. We need him like we need a knife in the back or have you forgotten how being a great general didn't work out so well last time." Alistair paused as he stepped forward to address the crowd. "As the son of Maric I will take the crown and make sure that justice is served."

"Amanda, you have to see that he will not make a good king. He puts his own selfish needs and desires ahead of what is best for Ferelden," Anora said.

"Anora the same could be said for you and your motives to save your Father. I believe that Alistair will make an excellent King. He will be a fair and just ruler. He just needs someone to tutor him in court etiquette. I thought that if the two of you married that you would be able to guide him in the finer aspects of court life," Amanda coerced.

Alistair spun and glared at her. "How could you do this to me, Mandi? You of all people, but I guess you learned that backstabbing move from the years you spent with Loghain," he spat at her.

Alistair saw the tears that she was struggling to hold back. "Alistair I once told you that every decision I make is for you and what's best for you and for Ferelden."

"What's wrong with you? He has already tried to kill us both and you side with him over me!"

Amanda stepped forward so that only he could hear her, "Alistair, there has to be a reason why Riordan would ask us to put Loghain through the joining. There is something more to this that we don't know about. Please, Alistair, please trust me."

Her pleading broke his heart and he almost changed his mind, but he knew he would never be able to live with himself if he caved in on this. He slowly shook his head, "I'm sorry Amanda, I can't do this. Ask me for a pound of flesh or for all the gold in Orlais, but don't ask me to stand by him and call him brother. I can't do that. You leave me no choice, but to leave the Wardens and marry Anora."

Amanda closed her eyes as she tried to compose herself. Anora stepped forward and gave a speech calling for the people to be brave and declaring that Ferelden would be victorious. He watched as Amanda made her way out of the main hall with Riordan and Loghain for Loghain's joining. His heart ached for all that he had just lost.

xxXxx

Amanda and the armies had left seven days ago for Redcliff and as Alistair walked the battlements of the Palace he wondered if they were fighting the final battle right now. He was angry that he wasn't a part of it and he was angry that she had placed him in situation that had forced him to leave the Wardens. How could she declare her undying love for him the night before the Landsmeet and then turn on him so quickly? His heart ached to see her, to know that she was okay, to hold her in his arms, to taste her sweet lips and then the pain from her betrayal would rear up and he wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him. To break her heart the way she had broken his and for her to feel the agony of betrayal. And he wanted her to feel as alone and abandoned as he felt.

It was that loneliness that driven him to invite Everett to stay at the Palace when he had received a note from the man three days after the Landsmeet congratulating him on becoming King and on his betrothal to Anora. At this point, Alistair needed all the friends he could get. Every single one of his Blight companions had sided with Amanda and walked away from him in order to join her in Redcliff.

Alistair turned to head back into the palace when he felt the first tug of the taint in his blood. He paused and reached out to find the source. The taint began to scream and he heard the loud, piercing screech of the Archdemon in his head. Oh shite, Maker help us, the horde was not headed to Redcliff it was headed here. He ran down the battlements to the tower lookout; in the distance he saw the dust rising on the horizon. He yelled to the guard to sound the warning bell and to close the city gates.

He ran into Palace and found his captain of the guard, "Captain Brandon, the darkspawn horde is headed this way. Alter Captain Kylon and then gather every available man and have them meet me in the courtyard in twenty minutes."

Anora came running around the corner, "Alistair, what is going on?"

"The darkspawn horde must have turned from Redcliff; it is head for the city," Alistair declared.

"Maker have mercy," Anora said.

"Anora, gather supplies and take all of the house personal and servants to the Palace basement. I am meeting the Palace guards and the Captain of the Denerim guard in the courtyard in twenty minutes," Alistair said as he looked into Anora's face. For the first time ever, he saw fear in her eyes. He rested a reassuring hand on her arm, "Anora, it's going to be okay. We will get through this."

She gave a quick nodded and composed herself, "You're right. Be safe, Alistair."

"You too," Alistair replied.

Alistair was on his way to the courtyard when Everett ran up to him, "Alistair what the hell is going on? They just shut down the city and closed all of the gates."

"The darkspawn horde is headed this way," Alistair replied.

"What? I thought it was headed to Redcliff," Everett asked.

"Well, I guess the Archdemon changed its mind," Alistair said sarcastically as the two of them head for the courtyard.

That had been four days ago. Alistair rested his exhausted body against the wall in the main hall. The city gate had held up under the horde's pressure the first two days, however by day three the walls and gates had begun to weaken and in the early hours of day four they had broken through and the battle was now inside the city walls. It was now mid-day and the battle was moving closer to the Palace and he could feel that she was moving closer to the Palace gates.

"Water?" Everett asked as he handed Alistair a canteen.

Alistair grunted and took the water from him. Everett had fought tireless beside him for the past two days and Alistair was extremely grateful for that. It felt good to have a friend fight by his side. Earlier that day Alistair had been out in the courtyard when the Archdemon flew over head as someone clung to its back by holding on by the pommel of a sword that had been driven into its shoulder. The Archdemon made a sudden turn and Alistair watched in horror as the body plummet to the ground.

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder as Everett said softly, "You have to believe that it wasn't her." Alistair paused for just a moment, reached out through the taint; when he felt her he breathed a sigh of relief. "No, it wasn't her," Alistair confirmed.

Now, Alistair wearily took another sip of water as he tried to gather his strength. He had just leaned his head back and shut his eyes when the palace door burst open. "Your Majesty, the darkspawn have broken through the Palace gates," the guard yelled.