Title: Kindred Spirits
Author: Mia
Rating: PG-13 for now, maybe NC-17 later
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!

Chapter 4


Xander Harris hauled ass. Or least as fast as he could haul without getting pulled over. Through Buffy's sniffling, all he'd gotten was to come to the Methodist church, something about Captain Peroxide being badly hurt.

He had so many questions. Why were they in a church? Why was Buffy crying? Was she hurt, too? Did something chase them into the church? What had injured Deadboy Jr.? Why did he care?

Because Buffy was crying and called him, he thought grimly.

His car screeched to halt in front of the church.

------

God, have I thought of everything?

Buffy sat in the floor, cradling Spike's bleached head in her lap, careful to avoid his injuries. She had called Willow, to her to have healing spells and herbs ready, along with bandages. Called Xander, told him to bring the car. Called Dawn's cell, told her she'd be late picking her up.

She felt stupid, trying to control her voice, knowing Dawn would freak out. She had to get him home first. Then she'd tell Dawn.

Xander burst through the church doors.

"Buffy are you all right...." He trailed off.

Xander blanched.

God, I thought he looked bad after the run-in with Glory. He looks like dogmeat, he thought silently.

Buffy gave him a second to deal. She could see the horror on his face.

"We need to get him home," she whispered.

"Yeah. His basement or...."

"No. My house. Willow's waiting. Can you get a hold of Anya? I think we may need her, too."

"Sure." He walked over to Buffy. "How do we do this, move him I mean?"

"He's pretty out, but gently I guess. His back isn't burned, so I can get his shoulders. Can you take his feet?" Buffy gently eased him from her lap to the floor.

Xander moved down to his legs and stopped. He looked at Buffy uneasily.

"What?"

He looked down at the vampire's still form. "Buffy, what if the damage isn't just...above the waist? What if..."

"Just get his feet. We deal with that when we get home."

She had be stoic, but when she saw how gentle Xander was trying to be as they carried him to the car, she felt tears welling up again. He situated Spike in the back seat, and then went around to close Buffy's door. She swallowed back her tears and smiled sickly at Xander.

He thought he had never seen her look so desperate.

----------------

Willow was waiting at the front door. As Buffy and Xander trundled Spike's limp body up the front steps, she gasped in horror. And even in her horror she knew what had happened.

"On the couch?" She asked Buffy.

"No, upstairs. My room."

Willow ran up ahead to pull stuff off the bed and move covers back. Xander and Buffy slowly navigated the stairs, and once in Buffy's room, laid him gently on the bed.

"Buffy, how did this happen?" Willow asked.

"I found him in the clearing, just outside the cemetery. I heard him scream, and when I got within a hundred yards, he started to run. Running and wailing. I followed him into town, and into the Methodist church. He had torn off his shirt and was hugging the cross, just letting it burn him."

"Oh my God." Willow put a hand over her mouth.

"Literally," Xander added.

Buffy didn't even look at him, her eyes fixed on Spike. "I called his name, and he didn't even hear me. He just kept sobbing, mumbling about me and Dawn, so I ran up and ripped him off of it. I guess he passed out from the pain. And then I called you guys."

She moved to head of the bed and peered down at him. "Could you call Anya, and go get stuff ready? I need to take off...." she swallowed. "I need to see if there is more here."

"Sure , Buff. Just come get us when you're ready." Xander grabbed Willow's hand and they went down stairs.

Buffy waited till their footfalls were gone. "Please, Spike don't let there be anymore." And she started to untie his boots.

-------------
"Goddess, Xander. It looks like lattice work on his body."

"Yeah, I thought I was gonna heave for a minute." he sighed. "Well, I guess I better call An."

Willow smiled. "I'll be in the kitchen."

Xander watched her go, and then he sighed again.

"Anya?"

Nothing.

"Anya?"

Still nothing.

"Oh Anyanka, Goddess of my universe, please bless me with your blinding beauty and magnificent presence?"

"I don't think you were humble enough when you said that!" snapped a voice behind him, causing him to jump.

"Great horny toads, Anya! You scared me to death!"

"Well, that's what you get for not being appropriately penitent when you summon me." Anya put her hands on her hips and frowned at him.

"I'm sorry, honey. I am humble before you, I swear. It's just a...a... Scooby emergency."

"Spike?"
"Yes. Extra-crispy, not original," Xander quipped.

"Dammit." She turned on her heel and started for the kitchen.

Dammit was right, thought Xander, trailing after her.

--------------
Anya and Willow were just finishing the blessing of the balm when Buffy walked in.

"Is it...?" Xander winced.

"No, just on his upper thighs. Nothing below or in sensitive areas," Buffy said with a slight shudder. "Xander, can you go pick up Dawn at school? You don't have to tell her, I'll do it when she gets here. If he wakes up during this, I have to be here to hold him down."

"Sure." He pulled out his keys.

"Well girls, let's do this." And the three girls took the balm, herbs and headed upstairs. Xander headed out the door.

----------

Willow placed her supplies next to the bed while Anya studied Spike's injuries. Buffy positioned herself on the bed next him, just in case he thrashed.

"He's not dealing with the soul as well as I'd hoped," Anya said, looking at Buffy sympathetically. " The little crosses are couple of days old." She started soaking the bandages in the bowl.

"Thank you guys," Buffy said somberly.

"Huh," said Anya.

"What's huh?"

Anya smiled. "I guess the soul gave him modesty, too. Spike bought underwear," she smiled, pointing at his black silk boxers.

Willow started to giggle. "Way more than I needed to know!" She leaned down, laying the first bandage on his chest. They all watched to see if he woke up, but he never moved. Willow and Anya worked together silently, patching him up, sprinkling him with herbs, and then they chanted a healing blessing.

"It is that it?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"Yeah. it will ease the pain and speed the healing. Anya and I can get his clothes back on him, if you want to go downstairs." Willow started picking up the bandages, and Buffy realized she was looking her with sympathy in her eyes. Confused, she turned to Anya.

"Xander and Dawn just pulled up. He must have taken her for an ice cream."

Buffy winced, and headed down the stairs.
--------

Dawn threw upon the front door in a fury. "Where is he?" she demanded, her face flushed. Buffy momentarily weighed making her wait till Willow and Anya were done dressing him, but decided it would only make her more upset.

Instead she simply said, "Upstairs," and stepped out of the way. Dawn glared her and took the steps two at a time. A haggard Xander appeared in the door.

"You are a brave man," she said, smiling.

"Yes, I am. I can stand the wrath of teenage girls everywhere. Had lots of practice." He closed the door.

"I'd have told her."

"I wanted to give you a little more time, and when we sat down with the ice cream instead of bringing it home, she knew something was up. Besides, you've had a rough enough night without having to break that to her."

"Yeah, well thanks. They're almost finished upstairs, and I thought we'd talk about this before left." She walked into the living room and gestured for Xander to sit on the couch with her.

A minute later they were joined by Willow, Anya, and teary-eyed Dawn. Buffy got up and drew her sister into her arms.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately, but you had to finish your paper. I knew you'd be upset and...," Buffy started.

"And you were upset, too." Dawn finished. "They told me what happened, but Buffy...... what happened?"

Anya raised her hand, and they all took a seat. Xander smiled and said "Yes, Anya?"

"His soul is driving him crazy" she said pertly.

"Angel told me that for a long time, he was pretty crazy from the new soul. So I guess it'd be the same for Spike, " Buffy offered.

Anya contemplated this. "No, not necessarily. Angelus was cursed with his soul, while Spike earned his, so Spike will probably not suffer as long. I can tell you that while I've felt his general pain, what ever happened to him tonight was really bad. His pain totally blocked out everything else tonight."

"Did you see anything, Buff?" asked Xander.

"No, he was alone in the clearing, as far as I could see. Then he took off running."

"He might have been hallucinating," Willow said quietly.

"What do mean?" asked Dawn, hesitation in her voice.

Willow tucked a strand of red hair back behind her hair and took a deep breath. "I don't really remember much from the time I got here till I woke up in Giles' apartment. It was like one big hallucination. All the bad things I did, Tara dying, just replayed over and over in my head. Even when I became coherent, the guilt was just....killing me. I wanted to die."

"Do you think Spike was trying to kill himself?" Buffy shuddered.

"No," Willow said uneasily. "I think he was trying to hurt himself. Punish himself."

"I saw that on an episode of ER," Dawn offered. She ducked her head. "When I cut myself, when I found out I was the Key, that's what people at school thought I did."

"Whoa, back up..."said Xander.

"It's like...." Willow tried to think of the best way to explain it. "It's like the pain and the guilt are so bad, you cause yourself physical harm, because it gives you relief . It distracts you from the internal pain by giving you external pain to focus on."

"And he could of just come to me, " Xander sighed.

"Xander," Anya warned.

"Yeah, I know....so what do we do? Chain him up?" He felt cheered by the idea.

"No. Let's watch him overnight, and I'll try to talk to him. I'll let everyone know how it goes." Buffy suddenly felt better to be making a decision.

"Okay," Anya stood up. "You do that. Xander, walk me home."

to be continued......