Chapter 3: Defying Gravity

Rachel's tiny baby hands opened and closed as she dozed in the vehicle as the theater's driver took her and Cass home to their luxury apartment overlooking Central Park. Shelby and Cass sat close together, the dancer keeping an arm around Shelby protectively. Both women could literally not take their eyes off of the little girl that was now back with them.

"I am burning the blanket and throwing away the diaper bag as soon as we can get her new things," Shelby whispered to Cass so the driver could not hear. "I want nothing of theirs for her to use or near her body."

"We should tell Holly we don't want any of the damn things Berry is holding hostage," Cass agreed with Shelby's sentiment.

Both women stopped talking at the little grunt that Rachel made. It surprised them a little. Rachel was now awake. Her hands kept opening and closing and she reached her hand out and patted Shelby.

"I wonder if she is talking, Cass?" Shelby asked, both curious and now anxious to learn how to communicate with her baby. She would be calling someone tomorrow to get the ball rolling on learning ASL.

"Possibly . . . no, probably," Cass told her. "She is your kid. You don't think she would not want to not communicate."

Shelby smacked her lover's arm playfully and laughed lightly, her mind wandering. She could not believe just how quickly this had all happened. It had been like any other day. It had been the start of any other evening. But riding home and now in the elevator up to their apartment, Shelby was not realizing how things had changed.

I am a mother. I am responsible for this little baby girl. I want to give her the best possible life, Shelby thought to herself. I remember Cass knitting that blanket for me while I was pregnant because my legs were so swollen and cold. I cried holding it for weeks after the delivery.

"Cass? Where is the throw you knitted me while I was pregnant?" Shelby whispered, putting her head on Cassie's shoulder. "I know I told you to get rid of it. You didn't do you? Please tell me you kept it? I want Rachel to have it."

"Of course I didn't get rid of it," Cass smiled, thankful that she hadn't. "How often do I listen to you when you tell me to do something?" she joked. "I think it's in the closet in the bedroom...I'll go find it." She placed a lingering, comforting kiss to Shelby's temple and left the room to do as she said, leaving Shelby to watch her beautiful little baby.

Shelby kicked off her shoes and moved to the bed and sat down with the baby in her arms. Beside her, her phone chimed. It was a text from Holly. It had a simple message.

{Success in Target. Catching cab home. Can I hold the baby next?}

Shelby smiled. She had such good friends. They were more like sisters. And because of Cass, Holly, and April, Shelby was not feeling nearly as overwhelmed as she would be without them.

Writing in response, Shelby texted,

You can hold her next if Cassie doesn't get her first. You'd better hurry up and get over here. ;) and thank you. So much.

She had no idea how to express to her friends/sisters how much they meant to her. Saying thank you didn't seem like nearly enough.

Rachel made a grab for the phone and moved to put it in her mouth. Her little brown eyes intently watching the object. Not wanting her iPhone slobbered on, even if it was from her daughter, Shelby moved it out of reach from little hands.

"Not for you," Shelby whispered making sure Rachel could see her face as she spoke. "Your Aunts should be bringing you some much nicer toys."

Shelby patted her baby's diaper and quickly realized a change was needed. Wanting to tease her lover a little, Shelby called out. "You want to hold her now?"

"Only always," Cass had found the blanket and set it on the bed next to Shelby, reaching out to take her baby. She realized almost immediately what Shelby was doing and laughed. "Why are you doing this to me?" she sighed, bouncing Rachel a bit before shaking her head. "Let's go get you changed, sweet one..."

Cass actually did not mind being the one tasked with this one bit. She carried Rachel to the master bath and got a towel. The dancer then walked back to the master bed and laid it down and then Rachel on it. She had not changed a diaper since she babysat a million years ago but it was like riding a bike. One never forgot. The dancer quickly pulled down the tiny baby ruffled diaper cover that sat under the fancy dress the Berries had dressed her in for the theater. The tiny black dress baby shoes and tights came next. Cass reached in the diaper bag to get a fresh diaper and frowned. Beside the diaper was an envelope . . . To: Shelby From: LeRoy

Cass's hand froze over it, clenching. Did she dare give this to Shelby, or was she so mad that she'd rip it up before she got the chance to. Would Shelby rip it up? Would she even read it?

She cast it aside with a growl and finished changing her baby's diaper, placing a kiss to her cheek afterwards and scooping her up into her arms, kissing her cheek multiple more times after that, deciding whether or not she wanted to give Shelby that letter.

Cass stripped off the baby's tights till she was only in a diaper from the waist down. Rachel seemed very happy at that and kicked in happiness and immediately flexed both of her feet. The baby in no time had a tiny big toe in her mouth.

"That taste good?" Cass asked, making sure the baby saw her speaking. She rubbed the baby's heel. "After a hard day on my feet, I should do the same thing huh?"

"Because I kiss your feet, dear," Shelby came back out of the walk in closet, changing into a silk nightgown and robe.

Shelby looked down on the bed and the letter addressed to her.

"Let Holly read it," Shelby said as response, her voice hard as she all but dismissed it. She finished taking off the frilly, lacey, what looked like itchy dress off of her daughter. Rachel could stay wrapped in the blanket Cass had knitted for her till Holly and April got here.

Cassandra didn't question her lover, simply placed the letter on the dresser and away from Shelby and her view. Out of sight, out of mind. After which both women lay down on the bed, on either side of their baby girl, playing with her hands and feet and tickling her, getting her to laugh. Tears sprang to the eyes of both women as they did what they never thought they'd ever do. They were still, admittedly, in serious shock over what had happened tonight.

This continued until Holly and April knocked on the front door.

Baby Rachel's eyes were wide at the activity and motioned that appeared to occur suddenly. She lost interest in sucking her toes and instead concentrated on the comings and goings. She yawned when the one who had been holding her the most put her in a soft pink zippered sleeper. It felt so much better than that dress had. And she was receiving so many soft kisses and rubs. When she was wrapped in the violet colored throw and swayed back and forth, the baby found her thumb. Brown eyes fluttered closed.

Holly and April arrived and Holly promised not to hold Rachel until she woke up, because she didn't want to be the one to wake her. With them they brought the entire baby section of Target, making Shelby feel guilty and like she had a lot to pay them back for. They shoved away all money she tried to give to them and she relented, knowing deep down she'd try again later. Moments afterwards, 4 adults were figuring out how to put up a crib. This shenanigan took place for a solid 30 minute before they all just gave it up.

"It's midnight, ladies," Holly finally told the other three. "I for one have brain fry. Rachel is sleeping in the middle of Shelby and Cass's bed, oblivious if her crib is put together. I say leave her in her mommies' bed with Shelbs and Cass as book-ends. We can tackle this in the morning or I will hire somebody to put it together."

The rest of the friends threw down their pieces in protest and nodded in agreement, dusting their hands off and standing with yawns.

"It okay if we crash in the guest room?" April wondered, knowing the answer already, really wanting to just talk to their friends about how they were taking all of this, which was inflicted in her tone, but she also knew the subject was still raw and fragile and now was not the time.

Cass waved her away in answer about the guest room. "Sleep wherever you want." she laughed lightly, crawling into her and Shelby's bed. "Just don't wake me up before 8."

"Deal." April blew a kiss from the door way, as did Holly, before the two made their way to the guest room and fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.

Shelby didn't fall asleep as quickly as the rest. She stared at her baby as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, stroking her head so softly that little Rachel didn't even feel it. She closed her eyes and thanked god that Rachel was alive, okay, and safe back in her mother's arms.

The tears were threatening to come now. Things were starting to settle in as the shock wore off. She desperately wanted Cass to hold her. Shelby kept her eyes closed and willed herself not to sob and wake up her lover. And it seemed like her lover could read her mind because only seconds later, the bed dipped on her side. Cassandra July spooned her from behind and wrapped an arm around her stomach.

"I got you, Baby," Cassandra murmured in Shelby's ear kissing it. It wasn't much but it was all Shelby needed. Salty tears splashed onto Cassie's arm as the two women lay there, confused and scared, in love and coming to terms with knowing they were going to have to raise their daughter, and do a MUCH better job than the Berry's had been.

The next morning, two groggy mothers woke to the sound of their baby girl crying. Two groggy sister-like best friends did the same. Cassie was quick to make up some formula and get Rachel to drinking out of her bottle, rocking her ever so slowly as she did. Shelby was quick to respond at first but watched in precious awe as Cassie took over, playing her mother role eagerly, albeit a bit nervously.

Holly and April made their way into the bedroom and watched Cassandra in her new element, both amused. Cassandra July was not usually one to be around children. She was one of the last people you would expect to automatically be up for the job of taking care of a baby, even if that baby was also considered hers. This was a huge change for all of them and everyone had been under the impression that it would be the largest change for Cassie.

Or maybe, Shelby thought to herself, it was, and Cassie also knew that and was going to try to beat this anxiety before it got to her.

Cassandra July always was one step ahead of the game.

She really was a champion.

"You do have your mommies lungs don't you?" Cassie cooed as she looked at the clock on her cell phone. It was four a.m. "You even got your Auntie Holly up? Nothing except an all-nighter with her famous girlfriend, your Auntie April can usually wake her up..."

"Don't tell her that!" Shelby chastised. Her child may not be able to hear but the idea of talking about sex around an almost nine month old seemed totally wrong.

"Shelby, please." Cassie shook her head and laughed. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

Shelby clicked her tongue. "All the same." there was a silent pause before Shelby spoke up again, "Do you think it's too early to call the ASL teacher?"

Cass knew where her lover was coming from-she wanted to learn ASL just as badly as Shelby did, however, "Shelbs, it's 5 am. Slow down."

"Okay, okay. You're right. I'm sorry."

Shelby was very easily anxious. Everything had to be done precisely, quickly and thoroughly. She was a perfectionist. And if things weren't absolutely perfect, which many things right now were not, she panicked. Shelby suddenly remembered the letter from LeRoy. She knew she had told Cass she would wait for Holly but the envelope might as well have had a spot light on it. Shelby found herself moving towards it and picking it up. She fingered the envelope. It was LeRoy's handwriting. Behind her, Shelby could hear Cass singing the Beatles to Rachel as she fed her the bottle. Shelby was well aware it was for her sake and it gave her courage. Biting the bullet, Shelby opened the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. It was a hand written note.

My dear Shelby,

I am so sorry, Shelbs. I really am.

Hiram's not really as bad as he seems, I swear. You know he hasn't always been like this. His heart used to be so much bigger than it is now.

He's changed. His ideals have changed.

I love that little girl. Which is why I feel comfortable giving her back to you. I know how much you've missed her. I know you regret not being in her life.

Now you can be, and I know the circumstances are not ideal, but...

Shelby I can't leave Hiram. I can't. I know that sounds horrible. I know you hate both of us. I know you hate us SO much right now. I hate us, too.

Take good care of Rachel.

She needed her mother in her life.

And thank you. I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but thank you.

I love you, Shelbs.

LeRoy

Shelby blinked as she read the letter. It conjured so many things inside of her. The one foremost in her mind whilst listening to her wife sing and Rachel take loud swallows was an overwhelming sense of loss. She had lost a friend. She had literally given the man a part of her own body so he could have his happy ending in his dream of a family. And he and Hiram had thrown it away labelling a sweet beautiful baby girl as defective. LeRoy was dead to her. She never wanted to see his face again and would never let him see Rachel that was for sure.

Shelby was about to put the letter back in the envelope when she noticed something written on the back of the page.

She turned it over and read.

Rachel has had numerous ear infections. She got the measles six weeks ago and it caused hearing loss.

Rachel was never given shots because Hiram feared what they would do to her. This was the result.

I am so sorry Shelby.

"Ughh that son of a bitch!" Shelby yelled, making Cassie jump. Holly and April both turned, confused and ready to comfort Shelby, who had tears of complete anger and betrayal in her eyes. "HOW COULD HE?!" she shook violently. "WHAT KIND OF A SICK HUMAN BEING WOULD-"

"Hey, hey, hey..." Cassie passed Rachel off to April and starting stroking Shelby's back, trying to get her to breathe. "Take a deep breath, Shelby."

"NO, DAMMIT HOW COULD HE DO THIS WHAT IN THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE'S-WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS-"

Rachel stared at her mom with wide eyes, for she could see the hurt and fear and anguish in Shelby's expression.

Tiny little lips puckered up as she let out a large wail. Rachel's brown eyes watered as the tears poured as she reacted to Shelby's emotional outburst. April could only clutch her close to her chest and rub the baby's back. Rachel's tiny right hand kept opening and closing as she looked anxiously at Shelby

"Ca . . . Ca . . ." Shelby tried to speak but finally just gave into the tears and heartbreak she had been feeling since Hiram had visited her dressing room. "He . . . did this to . . . her. God damn him, he . . . if he had only . . . vaccinated . . . measles . . . Cassie." Shelby clutched at Cassie. The dancer literally picked Shelby up and carried her back to her bed.

Unable to contain her own curiosity and outrage, Holly pulled the letter out of Shelby's trembling hands and started to read.

After doing so, she threw it angrily to the ground, frustrated.

"That bastard." She whispered, her voice nearly breaking in pain and irritation. "We can get him for this, Shelby, this letter is what we need for evidence."

"Going to clue us in, counselor," Cassie asked Holly, rocking Shelby in her arms in a manner that April was similarly doing with Rachel. "April, get your ass down here with my other crying babe."

"Usually I could come up with a quick comeback about you getting me in your bed, but not at five in the morning with two screaming Corcorans," April spoke in a soft voice, kissing Rachel's soft baby hair. The elite Broadway headliner crawled on the bed and snuggled in close to Cass and Shelby. "Elphie?" April used her Glinda voice, "Little Rachie wants her mommy, Elphie."

Shelby couldn't help but laugh lightly at her lover and her best friend's attempt to make her feel better. It was starting to work, although she was still extraordinarily pissed off at LeRoy. That was never going to change.

That fucker can die. She thought bitterly to herself. But I'm not going to show my anger in front of this precious child or the rest of my family any more for now. They need me to be strong and not act irrational. Get a grip, Corcoran...

Shelby accepted her baby girl being lifted into her arms. Both brunette's watched each other and sniffed. Shelby was quickly learning how smart her daughter was. She was very observant and noticed everything. Shelby allowed Holly to dab her eyes while April told her to blow. Rachel patted at the singer's chest. Shelby wished she knew why but figured the baby was just communicating with her. Shelby reached a finger down and Rachel's baby fingers grabbed it.

"Something has changed within me…. something is not the same…it's time to try defying gravity," Shelby sang to her baby. She had experienced a change inside herself. She was a mother now and she felt empowered and ready to be Rachel's mother and also give her daughter justice.