"Was that really all that necessary?"
"Ask that about your drawing."
"…"
Nursing an ice pack to the check bone injured in Sasuke's little show of rage (aka bitch fit), Sai sighed a bit, looking around at the group for the next victim of the game. And considering the trend of this meeting, yeah, victim was exactly the right terminology needed. He couldn't round back on anybody who had already been picked… Ah! A certain area of the population had yet to been called on.
"Sakura." The roseate just about flinched as her name was called, and Ino laughed a bit. Nobody really wanted Sai to call on them. He just didn't know where to draw the line. And not in a Kiba kind of way, either. Like… He just didn't know where that barrier that marked the okay and not okay truths/dares was located, and it really made for a hilarious- totally not cool time.
"Truth or dare?" Despite the blossoming bruise on his face, he smiled practically innocently. If it weren't for the fact they all knew better, maybe they would have thought he was sweet and naive. Well. They all knew better.
"Truth," she groaned in reply, peering over at Sai through fingers that hid most of her face. An expression similar to something thoughtful dwelled on his ice-pack-covered features, and the suspense was heavy in the air. Would he pick something personal? Something totally and utterly random? Something humiliating to the point that if he were found alive the next day it would be a serious surprise?
An almost literally lightbulb appeared over Sai's head, his face lighting up as he seemed to have come up with his question.
"Sakura. Have you ever seen a real penis?"
… Well, not quite the humiliating/death-causing, but it was enough to cause her face to turn red. Ino snickered at her side, and the guys looked around awkwardly. Not much was known on her love life, really, except that she was obviously having some serious issues picking whether she hated or wanted Naruto. None of them knew of a boyfriend or any sort of relationship.
"Or thought of any of the ones here?"
Oooh. There went the humiliating/dead-causing part of the question. Sai probably would have done fine if he had just stuck with the former bit, but nooo. Had to go and add the second half.
Sakura's jaw dropped a bit, and a loud snort/guffaw thing came from Ino. The awkwardness in the air suddenly thickened tenfold, and the shade of red on the pink-haired girl's face deepened. Sai stared at her intently, obviously expecting an answer to the question. Her mouth moved with the beginnings of an answer, and eyes flicked over to Naruto before flashing back to Sai. Unnoticed by most except for the observant/oblivious/emotionally challenged teen, his smile took a turn, morphing into a frown.
"Naruto doesn't count. He's dick-less."
Now it was Naruto's jaw's turn to drop a bit, and Kiba had to grab his arm from adding to the bruises on their host's face.
But nobody really noticed as Sakura rose from her seat and shot forward, clenched first colliding with the side of Sai's face.
And that's how Sai got the second black eye that would totally 'beautify' the left side of his face.
…
After Sakura and Naruto were returned to their normal seating positions, and Sai was giving a Tylenol for the throbbing headache two repeated punches to the face had given, Sakura sighed and realized it was her turn. Somewhere in the mix she had replied to her question, but it was too lost in the sauce for anybody to have really absorbed the information, therefore making it irrelevant. Except to those who had heard it.
Anyway, the roseate hummed lightly to herself, tapping her chin thoughtfully while green eyes roved over those sitting around her. It wouldn't be fair to repeat someone, which knocked off Naruto and Sai… But that didn't leave out their favorite asshat from the party pick.
"Sasuke, truth or dare?" she asked him lightly, ignoring the pout from Ino beside her. Obviously the whole 'best girl friends' thing was expected to carry over, so Ino would be saved from any humiliation that the boys could dish out on her. Well, she was wrong. Screw that shit, it was time to pull something good. Not as crazy as the whole strip thing (which she would probably remember for a long time because Naruto was surprisingly good at stripping, what the hell), but something pretty gross. As much as she loved asshat as a brother after getting over that phase in her younger years, it was one of her guilty pleasures, antagonizing him.
"… I don't want to have to deal with snide comments, so dare," the Uchiha replied with a sigh, sipping at the water he had in his hand. Just like always, he seemed lazy and tired, bored to almost a Shikamaru degree. Except of course, he had to look like an Aristotle model at the same time. What a douchehag.
"Haaaa. Not a good idea. I dare you to eat whatever the hell Kiba and Naruto can concoct in the next ten minutes. Only things found in the kitchen can be used, and it has to fit in a normal cereal bowl." Something so old school, it really was a pain in the ass. And especially who she picked to make it… Damn. Well, the two boys in charge of the creation were looking quite thrilled; Kiba just liked pissing people off, and Naruto just loved pissing Sasuke off.
With a bored wave of his hand, Sasuke wordlessly agreed. He had no choice; it wasn't nearly as… Demeaning as the strip, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to be one crappy ass dare. Practically on the verge of squee'ing, the two appointed chefs dashed to the kitchen, already sniffing around in the cabinets for particularly nasty stuff. Sai, as it was his house and the idea of either of them in his kitchen messing with things was horrifying, followed after them, demanding that they put everything back and if they messed up his organization, he would draw a gay portrait of them and tape it to every available wall at school.
Small chit-chat initiated as the group waited for the dare preparation to be completed; random things, really. Graduation, plans on what to do after… Teachers, school work, that one jerk sub they had had last week. Music, blah. All that sort of good stuff that older teenagers such as themselves talked about. At the approximate end of the ten minutes, the door opened to reveal a Sai looking… Disgusted? Since when did Sai look disgusted? Since when did he look anything but that creeper status happy? So that was the first warning of the thing that followed.
Holding a plain bowl in his hands, the blonde emerged first after Sai. And the smell of… Just nastiness immediately perforated the air. Sakura's face lit up with surprise, and the expressions of the others were already lined with pity for Sasuke. Well… She'd been expecting bad, but this… This was just horrendous.
It was hard to tell what all exactly was in the bowl, but just from the top… Huge cloves of garlic and slices of onion topped the mix, drizzled over top with what appeared to be chocolate syrup. Melted cheese oozed from the rim, dripping onto the floor (much to Sai's dismay). What appeared to be a fish poked out from beneath said dairy, dipped in sugar. Pretzel sticks jabbed up from the mess, and that was all that could be seen at first. And it was packed full. Kiba followed after Naruto, and ushered the Uchiha whose misfortunate it was to eat the grossness to the last seat at the patio table.
Spreading out a nice array of knives and forks (he even had the consideration to bring a spoon), Naruto finally set down the bowl in front of Sasuke with a huge grin, albeit a bit strained. Even he couldn't really handle the pungent stench wafting up from the concoction. Taking a step back, Kiba and Naruto watched their victim with delicious victory glazed in their eyes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?" Chouji voiced from behind them, half-laughing. "I wouldn't even eat that."
"Oh snap," Ino added, hiding a giggle from behind her hand which had been doubling as a nose plug. The smell of vinegar and garlic plus onions was not pleasant.
"… This is why we don't play this game with them two…" Sasuke sighed, knowing that by obligation of his manhood and ability to retain his supreme awesome status (lol jk, just the last bit of dignity he could hold on to), he would indeedly have to just about murder himself with the food bowl thing. Picking up a fork, with a look that went so far beyond disgust and repulsion it was seriously hilarious, the Uchiha jabbed the prongs into a small piece of garlic, staring at it as something… Gooey dripped off of it.
"… I don't think I even want to know," he grumbled, sticking it in his mouth. Immediately his face contorted in a look crossed between torture and the urge to vomit.
"That was syrup covered sugar-dipped garlic," Naruto commented with a smile.
"You're one disgusting little fuck, Naruto," Kiba laughed, looking about ready to jump up and down and clap his hands like a little old lady.
"Hey! Just wait till he gets to the chocolate filled fish. That was yours, sicko," the blonde replied, eyes glittering with a playful maliciousness. Sasuke's already pale face paled further, as he chewed and swallowed. It seemed as though Naruto had really taken advantage of their friendship status… He knew he hated sweet things, and now here was the payment for giving away that knowledge. Plus just about every other nasty thing that could be found in the kitchen amassed into the one dish.
It was almost painful, watching the poor asshat try to eat the 'meal' set out for him. As they found out as he slowly made progress through the bowl, not only was there a chocolate stuffed fish, there was fruit slices soaked in vinegar and dipped in combinations of salt and sugar, broccoli smothered in gRape jelly and peanut butter, baked beans covered in a molasses like substance, and on top of a thick piece of meatloaf, which had managed to absorb just about anything that was semi-liquid or more watery into its gross spore things. And now Sai was out of leftovers for dinner.
"I hope you both burn in hell," Sasuke moaned as he leaned back in his chair, tilting his head back as his cheeks puffed out. Him throwing up was a serious threat, but he was making his best effort to… Not. Kiba looked over into the mostly empty bowl, and stared down at the liquid mixture still at the bottom. He nudged Naruto with his elbow, and pointed at it with a questioning look. Before that questioning look could be answered, though, Sakura sent her own condemning glare across to the two terror chefs.
"No. He doesn't need to lick it clean. He's been through enough already…" she told the two, shooting a beam of pity at the Uchiha. He was clutching his stomach while his face turned a pale shade of green, a queasy sounding rumble from inside him causing her to edge away ever so slightly.
"Well fine. But if he's not well enough to take his own turn…" Kiba trailed off, crossing his arms across his chest with a smirk. They all knew who was hijacking the truth or dares in this joint, and it really was justifiable comment. Sasuke didn't look ready to talk, let alone think of something to truth or dare anybody. Really, the only thing on his mind was probably along the lines of "EWWWWWWWWWWWW-THAT-WAS-FUCKING-GROSS-HOLY-HELL-BALLS-I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-I-JUST-ATE-THAT-SHIT-OH-MY-GODS-DISGUSTING".
But, surprising them all, Sasuke fixated eyes full of spite and maliciousness on the Inuzuka. "You, bitch-dog-face. Truth or dare." The words were a bit mumbled and grumbled, accompanied by more stomach rumbling. Grimacing, he groaned while he thought of a dare. Because really, the chances that Kiba would ever pick a truth was impossible to impossible to the most impossible possibility.
"Dare, of course," the dog-boy sing-songed back at Sasuke. Naruto shook his head disapprovingly; although there was hardly anything that Sasuke could do to beat Kiba and his mess of a delight-ina-bowl, the duckbutt would at least do his best to kick down Kiba's high pedestal a bit. Lucky for the blonde he was a friend and had stayed mostly behind after Sasuke was done eating the surprise feast; really, he didn't like being the target of the Uchiha's rage or anger or annoyance. It was just plain emo-tastic.
"Give Shino a lap dance."
Even if Kiba didn't do it, it wouldn't have mattered. The look on his face was enough to send Naruto into a laughing fit, and most everybody else were, at the very least, amused to some degree. Sasuke was able to afford a smile despite the nausea. The only one not being entertained by the prospect was the victim in this case; as much as nobody wanted to be mean to the bug boy, Sasuke knew that beside Naruto, Kiba was closest to Shino, and Naruto would make the whole event too funny, so no on the blonde.
The Inuzuka groaned and looked at Shino indignantly, ignoring the sulking expression on his friend's face. "How long of a lap dance?" he questioned, his face acting as though he had like five Warheads in his mouth. And those little bitches were sour.
Before Sasuke answered, Naruto leaned over with a too-big grin for the comfort of Kiba, and whispered something in the Uchiha's ear. If there was one thing anyone knew about the blonde, it was that he would do anything to help anybody damage the ego of his best buddy ever. Because that's how they rolled. Like seriously. It wasn't a healthy relationship, probably, but oh the fuck well.
"A few weeks ago, we watched The Proposal at my house. I know you remember the lap dance Sandra Bullock's character had to sit through…" Sasuke drawled. It seemed that in the prospect of a hilarious show, he could afford to hide his upset stomach problems. "Well. You have to do the same to Shino. Including the same degree of… Undressed-ness?" The Uchiha tried to word, and Naruto nodded with a smirk. This was payback for the strip-off. Because Ramone's dance was just terrible and horrible and it was enough to give sane people of any sexuality nightmares for life.
"…Exactly the same?" Kiba asked with a shudder, already weighing his options. Everybody knew he would do it; that was a given. But still, he had to go through the whole 'is my dignity worth my manliness in a game?' Which of course, it was. Sasuke replied with a nod, a smug grin on his face. The dog-boy sighed and looked sorrowfully over at the bug-boy, resignation clear in his features.
"No… Sasuke, come on!" Shino protested, his voice higher than usual in his desperation. There was no way he was going to let Kiba flash his package that close to his face. No way in hell. No, never, nope.
Or at least that's what he had told himself. Not that he kept true to it, because fifteen minutes later he was sitting down in a chair, pretty close to tears in light of the horrible sexual harassment being done to him. It was a horror he would never be able to forget, and no amount of eye-closing would be able to banish the close-up of what he had already seen. But at least it was over. Kiba was standing off the side, appearing quite disgusted with himself while he pulled on his pants.
"You guys are sick and twisted," he accused, eyes resting on Naruto, who was still wiping away tears of laughter. Sakura and Ino both looked shocked, while Hinata was sitting with her head in her arms so she didn't have to see any of it. Two faints in one day was enough for her. Everybody else… Was just there, with rather neutral expressions since there was nothing they could have said that would describe how disturbing that had been.
"I think you were too good for that to have been your first time," Naruto retorted with a laugh, raising his hands to block the empty soda can that flew at his face.
"Pleasure to see you were watching me so closely."
"Oh baby. Anyway, your turn, manwhore," the blonde continued, leaning back against the deck railing with a new drink in his hand. Mmm, … Kiba tugged his shirt back over his head, still glaring daggers at his friend.
"I'm gonna make you pay, gay virgin blonde," Kiba growled, looking over his shoulder at the still petrified Shino. Poor bug boy…
"You can't~" Naruto sing-songed back, obviously just a little bit smug. By little bit meaning extremely so. "I've already gone. Can't call on me again." Which was a valid point. But necessarily one that would matter to the indignant lap-dancer. If anybody knew those two, they knew that they would do just about anything to get back at each other. It was terrible really, but it was one of those odd, masochistic and sadistic relationships that spawn from devil's essence. Meaning sports or pranks.
"Ino, truth or dare?" So he wasn't even gonna reply… Hmm… Naruto narrowed his eyes at the Inuzuka, suspicious of his intent. Ino was a slut. Like really. She would pick dare just because she didn't have the dignity to pick truth like a normal girl in their group would. Or at least, that was Naruto's opinion. He didn't think much of Ino after she had tried to bounce around all of the guys in their group, plus others outside of it. He could still remember walking past the teacher's lounge one time the previous year, and seeing a certain familiar looking head of blonde hair pushed back against a wall… Shuddering at the thought of student on teacher grossness, he returned his attention to the game.
"Dare, o'course," she replied with a scoff, eyes twinkling with excitement. Kiba and she were too alike in mindset for this to be a good pairing in dare-picker and dare-do-er.
"Make out with Naruto. I'm talking serious business. Fifteen seconds minimum, and it will be timed by Ichiraku seconds."
Naruto felt his jaw drop a bit, and a bit of shock mingled with the flare of anger towards his friend. What the hell was he doing? Kiba knew how much he really almost hated the Yamanaka girl… This was just a bit too much, even for him. And then the whole problems with Sakura thing… Looking over at the roseate herself, he saw a look of similar surprise on her features, but directed towards Ino. Because she was going to do it, as made apparent as she stood and walked over to him. Naruto saw the anger in the green eyes, but his view was obstructed as the pig herself moved in closer.
"Kiba, you doucheba- mm!" his frustrated yelling was cut off as his fellow blonde pounced forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and covering his mouth with hers. She was too good at that. His arms went outwards to flail, and he tried to pull away but was held securely by her grasp at his neck. What the hell, this was like a prison. She obviously was not giving a shit whether or not he cared for this or not.
"Two Ichiraku, three Ichiraku, four Ichiraku…" Kiba chanted from where he stood. The moment Naruto felt her tongue try to slip between his lips, he closed off his mouth, and braced his hands against her before shoving. At the same time, he heard a door slam shut as Ino stumbled backwards with a pout.
"Hey! What the hell. I can't finish my dare if you're being such a little bitch about it," she whined, but Naruto was really incapable of caring any less. Looking about ready to rip off both Ino's and Kiba's head, he looked towards the door that he had heard slam.
"Who left?" he asked in general to the group, knowing Kiba or Ino wouldn't know because those (man)whores had been too busy being jerkwads to notice. Before Sai could open his mouth, Naruto noticed that a certain pink-haired girl he was so confused over was missing. Groaning, he turned around and beat his head against the desk railing, thoroughly ready to just wail Kiba in the face.
…
"You ass! She was right there, and you still dared Ino that!"
It was quite a few hours later, and still Naruto was fuming over the fanfuckingtastic end to the 'fun' day. Oh yeah. It'd been fun. Until Kiba and Ino had to go and fuck things up pretty bad.
"Hey! I kinda forgot she was there, okay? I said I was sorry, man," Kiba grumbled through the phone.
Pacing across his living room, the blonde looked seriously frustrated. He had tried to call Sakura first, to see what was wrong (even though it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it had been Ino's whorish way of totally pouncing on him which made him even more confused because jealousy was just weird to deal with), but had received no answer. So when Kiba had called, yeah, he was just about ready to chew the Inuzuka a new asshole. But even Naruto couldn't stay angry for long.
Sighing, he flopped onto his couch. "Whatever man. It doesn't matter anyway." Bullshit it didn't. But there was nothing to fix it, so he'd just have to get through it… Somehow. "I'm gonna go. Need to study for that test on Tuesday." Another lie. The day the blonde studied would be the day of the frickin' zombie apocalypse.
"Dude, I'm sorry. Talk to you—" The phone clicked off as the perplexed teen groaned, and buried his face in his hands while he thought. There wasn't much more that could be done right then… So there was no point in thinking. Time to massacre juggernauts for shits and grins to take out anger? Yes. Time to massacre juggernauts. Picking up the Xbox remote, the blonde allowed himself to drift into the world of Modern Warfare 2, leaving his thoughts for another time.
…
"Sakura, what the hell happened today?"
Oh, how she hated Ino's voice right now. The anger and jealousy and just maliciousness Sakura felt towards her best girl friend was overwhelming. "I left."
"Well duh. I kinda saw that. But why?"
Seriously, was Ino making true to the dumb blonde stereotype? Why the hell else would she leave? Did she not notice the timing of her departure? What the hell. But the frustrated roseate would play innocent for now. "Because I wanted to."
"I thought you weren't interested in Naruto."
The bluntness of the statement made Sakura wince. She hadn't been! But then things changed and it felt awkward when she noticed how much he had changed. How he had gone from the annoying little pest of their elementary school years, to the best friend of their middle and high school years, and then… She couldn't define it now. She didn't know what he had changed into now that it was their last year of school. But he had changed, and she didn't want that to be the case.
"I'm not." Way to be see-through, Sakura though to herself, her mouth twisting into a grimace. A blind man would be able to see that lie.
"Bullshit, Sakura! You charged out when I was making out with-"
"Because I was jealous, okay? Maybe I am a little bit…" she trailed off, biting her lip to keep herself from continuing. There had to be a way to get out of this conversation…
"Why were you jeal-"
"I gotta go. Studying for that test on Tuesday. Bye Ino." Her thumb grazed the red button, instantly disconnecting her friend. Her verdant eyes stared down at the phone in her hand, and in a bout of anger, she threw it across her room. Sprawling back onto her bed, she watched her ceiling fan go round and round, letting her thoughts drain away as the blades blurred and became single depending on how she looked at them. Today… Was just not a good day.
…
…
…
By the way, yeah, I TOTALLY LOVED MAKING SASUKE EAT THAT GROSSNESS D It amused me to no end, thinking of that. So… Yeah. Ino's a hor, Sasuke's a douche, so I make them bad in mah storehs. So leave me alone. OKAY BAI NAO.
OH AND SIDE NOTE I MAKE SAKURA BIPOLAR LOL. In case you didn't notice. Anyway, reviews are love but yeah! –poofs-
… repost.
