Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly
Fly

Dreaming about providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken
Broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
Some where we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

Switchfoot – Meant To Live


While other days had passed in a blur, this one was very, very different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something just felt...off. The dream I'd had last night left me with an anxious feeling, mostly because I wasn't sure why it even happened.

Why was I torturing myself like this?

Another month had passed with me staying at Bobby's, not hearing a single peep from Sam, and my nightmares still continuing. Only this time...Dean wasn't the one being tortured anymore. It was the other way around.

I knew Pamela said we had a connection, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe that Dean would do that. I couldn't.

Trying to ignore the feeling inside of me, I made my way downstairs, finding Bobby sitting at his desk again, reading over a book.

"Morning." I called.

"Morning?" Bobby asked, glancing up at me. "More like afternoon."

"What time is it?"

"A little after three."

"Oh, wow. Then what do you want for dinner?" I asked, heading into the kitchen to see what was in the refrigerator. "I could make chili."

"Yeah, alright." Bobby nodded, going back to his book.

A little while later, I stood at the stove, slowly mixing the sauce that was cooking in the pot in front of me. Suddenly, the ringing in my ears got so loud that it was actually painful. I leaned down on the counter, letting out a pained groan.

"Vic?" Bobby called, rushing over to my side, catching me as I nearly fell to the ground. "What's wrong?"

"I don't- I don't know." I murmured, shutting my eyes tightly, covering my ears with my hands. But still, the sound didn't stop.

Bobby led me over to the sofa, placing me down on it. I bent over, resting my forehead on my knees. And just then, as fast as the sound had come, it stopped.

"What happened?"

I glanced up, slowly moving my hands away from my ears as I looked around the room, my heart pounding in my chest. "I have no idea. There was...ringing in my ears. It was so loud."

I tried to stand to my feet, but Bobby gently pushed me back down, shaking his head. "No, stay here."

"I have to finish the chili-"

"Vic, no."

"Bobby, I'm fine. I just- I need something to do, okay?" I said, standing up. "If anything happens, I'll let you know. Okay?"

"...alright."

With a heavy sigh, I made my way back over to the counter, continuing to stir the sauce in the pot when the phone rang. Bobby answered it, his brow furrowed as he stared down at the table.

"Yeah? Who's me?" Bobby's expression filled with disgust as the person spoke on the other end and without warning, he slammed the phone down.

"What was that about?" I asked, turning to face him.

"Uh, nothing." Bobby muttered, looking uncomfortable. "How's the cooking going."

"Fine."

"So, you uh- you have any dreams last night?"

"Kind of. I wouldn't really call it a dream. I didn't see anything. All I heard was a voice."

"What did the voice say?"

I took in a deep breath, trying to control my emotions. "It's just my mind playing tricks on me."

"What did it say?" Bobby repeated.

"It said- it said...De-"

Before I could finish, the phone rang again, the shrill sound piercing through the room, causing me to jump slightly as Bobby picked it up.

"Who is this?" He asked sharply, waiting for the person to answer. "This ain't funny. Call again, I'll kill you."

"My god, Bobby." I muttered as he hung up the phone. "Who was that?"

"Just some nobody who thinks they're funny. What did you say the voice said?"

"Doesn't matter. There was no voice. It was all in my head."

"Like all those other dreams?" Bobby asked cautiously. I knew he didn't want to hurt me, but I could tell he felt the need to get his point across. "Vic, you remember what Pamela said. You gotta trust yourself more. The stuff that happens to you ain't no coincidence."

"Dean Winchester is saved." I mumbled, biting my lip as Bobby's eyes widened.

"What?"

"That's what I voice said. Dean Winchester is saved. It was so loud, it woke me up." I shook my head, going back to stirring as the tears welled up in my eyes. "But what does that even mean? Dean's alive? Out of hell? I just- we've tried everything, Bobby. That's why I don't believe it. It's not possible."

A long silence fell over us after that. I'm sure Bobby had no idea what to say. He probably didn't want to straight up tell me I was crazy, for fear of me breaking down.

But it was okay. I knew I was.


Hours passed and I was finally done cooking. Bobby made me take a bowl of chili, even though I knew I wasn't going to eat. Every so often, Bobby peered over at me from his bowl, watching me closely, probably waiting for me to eat as I stared blankly at the TV.

I wasn't even sure what was on, I was just using it as something to look at.

"You ever gonna eat?"

"No. I'm good, thanks." I mumbled, leaning my head back on the couch.

"Vic-"

"Bobby, I'm just not hungry right now."

"You're fading away to nothing."

I sighed. "I'm fine, Bobby."

"Come on, eat something."

"Bobby-"

"Do it for me?"

"Fine." I huffed, shoving a spoonful of chili into my mouth, feeling my stomach churn as soon as I did so.

I quickly chewed up the food, swallowing it as I glanced over at Bobby before standing to my feet, deciding I'd get starting on washing some clothes. I'd barely gotten halfway up the stairs when I heard a loud knock on the door.

"Who the hell is that?"

"I don't know. You go ahead upstairs, I'll check it out." Bobby said.

"Be careful." I called, heading upstairs.


BPOV

After Vic left, I moved cautiously to the door, double-checking my pockets to make sure I had anything I'd need no matter what was out there. I opened the door to see Dean standing there, breathing heavily as he smiled down at me.

"Surprise."

"I- I don't-"

"Yeah, me neither." He shrugged, stepping inside. "But here I am."

The moment his foot hit the floor, I thought back to Victoria. It'd kill her to see this and then have it ripped out from under her all over again. And I didn't believe for a second that this was really Dean.

I quickly pulled out my silver knife, pushing him back outside as I slashed at him. He grabbed my arm, trying to twist it, but I got out of his grip and backhanded him across the face.

"Bobby! It's me!"

"My ass!" I exclaimed quietly.

"Whoa, wait!" He yelled, holding his hands out. "Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed. Tori's like a daughter to you and one of the most important things in your life, though you'd never really say it, but you don't have to because everybody knows. And...you're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me."

With a sigh, I lowered the knife, taking a step forward to place a hand on his shoulder.

I still didn't trust him, but he didn't have to know that.

When he wasn't expecting it, I slashed at him again, but he moved quickly grabbing the knife from me. "I am not a shapeshifter!"

"Then you're a Revenant!" I yelled now they we were outside. He shoved me back a bit, holding the knife to his own arm.

"Alright. If I was either, could I do this with a silver knife?" He asked, running the knife across his arm, grimacing as the blood trickled out.

I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched, looking up at him nervously. "Dean?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you."

I pulled him in, hugging him tightly. "It's- it's good to see you, boy."

"Yeah, you too." Dean murmured as we pulled apart.

"But how did you bust out?"

"I don't know. I just- I just woke up in a pine box-" He started. I pulled the flask of holy water out of my pocket, quickly splashing some on Dean's face. He flinched back, spitting some of the water out. "I'm not a demon either, you know."

"Sorry. Can't be too careful." I shrugged.

"Yeah, alright."

"That don't make a lick of sense."

"Yeah, you're preaching to the choir."

"Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you've been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit-"

"I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject."

"What do you remember?"

"Not much. I remember I was a hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it." Dean paused, his eyes clouding over slightly. "I tried- I tried to call Tori. She didn't answer. She's- she's okay, right?"

"I'm not sure what you'd consider okay."

"What do you mean?"

"Things have been rough on her since you left. Really rough." I sighed. "But I think she'd be real happy to see you."

"Wait, she- is she here?" Dean asked, the excitement clear in his voice, his whole demeanor changing in that split second. I just nodded, making my way into the house with Dean right behind me, looking around at the stray bottles of whiskey scattered around. "Hey, Bobby? What's the deal with the liquor store? What, are your parents out of town or something?"

"Last few months ain't been all that easy." I mumbled, holding Dean's gaze for a moment.

"Right." He nodded, following me upstairs.

"Vic, you in here?" I called out, rounding the corner to the bedroom.

"Yeah." She replied, throwing a few pieces of clothing into a pile.

"Hey, turn around, I have something I want you to see."

"Bobby, I just want to get this done." She replied tiredly. I felt for her, the past few months have been hard. She's barely gotten any sleep, barely eaten anything. I don't think I'd ever seen her look so rundown.

"Vic, look." I called, as Dean stepped next to me, a big smile hiding the hurt in his eyes as he took in how unhealthy Victoria looked. I watched as she turned around, her eyes going wide when she saw Dean standing there, her mouth opening and closing a few times.

"Hey, Cherry Pie." Dean smiled, cautiously walking over to her. She looked back at me for confirmation, the question clear in her eyes.

"It's him." I nodded.


TPOV

I stared up at Dean in shock as he stepped in front of me, my thoughts racing a mile a minute. There was no way this way real. No way at all. I had to be dreaming.

"Why is this happening?" I asked, the tears forming my eyes.

"What?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow.

"No...why?" I mumbled, letting the tears stream down my face. "God, this is so real."

"It is real. I'm real." Dean said, taking my hands in his.

"It can't be. I- I have to be dreaming."

"Why?"

"Because there's no way." I closed my eyes tightly, lowering my head.

"Tori, I'm really here." Dean said, lifting my chin up so I could look in his eyes as bent down to place a kiss on my lips.

In that second, the ringing in my ears was pushed to the background as I finally realized...this was real. Dean was really here. He was alive.

Without thinking, I jumped into his arms, deepening the kiss as he hugged me to him, smiles on both of our faces. Dean held onto me tightly as I wrapped my legs around his hips, clutching him to me, the tears flowing down my cheeks.

Over Dean's shoulder, I could see Bobby watching us, a warm smile on his face as shut the door, walking back downstairs, leaving us alone.

"How- how?" I asked, cradling his face in my hands. "How are you back?"

"I don't know." Dean shrugged, placing me down on my feet. "Just am."

"Oh, my god." I cried, kissing him again. I took his hands in mine, gently guiding him over to the bed. I sat down in front of him as he looked down at me, a small smile on his face.

"I think- I mean, maybe I should, you know, shower first."

"I don't care." I said, starting to undo his belt.

"I just crawled out of a hole in the ground."

"That's okay." I smiled, running a hand over the bulge in his pants.

"Well, I'm not sure I can argue with that." Dean grinned.

"Good." I smiled, pulling his pants down, running my hand over his length, squeezing him lightly. He moaned in response, watching me with baited breath as I took him into my mouth.

"Shit." He murmured, licking his lips as he watched me. "You have no idea how good that feels, baby."

"Yeah?" I purred, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

I just wanted to make him feel good. Something other than pain.

"Oh, yeah."

A few moments later, I could tell Dean was getting close to his breaking point as he started breathing heavier. Eventually he cradled my face in his hands, guiding me up to his lips. I kissed him passionately as he pulled my shirt off, throwing it on the ground next to his jeans. Dean trailed kisses down my neck, moving down to my chest as I ran my hands through his hair.

Dean laid me back onto the bed, unbuttoning my pants before sliding them off, putting them with the pile the clothes before placing kisses along my stomach, pausing when he saw the deep scars on my hip, glancing up at me with sad eyes.

"I'm okay." I murmured, running a my fingers through his hair. Dean placed a few kisses on the scars, moving until he got to my chest.

I moaned at the feeling of his skin on mine, of his lips and tongue touching me. I gently brought Dean's face back to mind, kissing his lips as I pulled his shirt off, running my hands over his arms.

Suddenly, the ringing in my ears sprang back to the forefront as I opened my eyes, looking over to see a large hand-print scarred into the skin on his upper left arm.

"What- what is this?" I asked, noticing how the ringing quieted down when I took my hand off. What the hell did that to him?

"I don't know. It was there when I got topside."

"Does it- does it hurt?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded, shooting me a small smile. "Where were we?"

Before I knew it, we were both completely stripped of whatever clothes that were left, the feeling of our skin touching again almost too much for me to handle. I practically let out a moan from the sensation of his body against mine, realizing in this moment just how much I needed him.

"I need you, baby." I murmured. Dean nodded in response, both of us moaning loudly as he pushed himself inside of me.

"Jesus." Dean exclaimed quietly. "You feel so fucking good."

"God, I missed you." I sighed in pleasure.

The feeling of having him there was amazing. Better than I could ever even explain. He leaned down, kissing my neck as he slowly started pumping in and out. I bit my lip, running my hands down his back as he moved inside of me. Dean kissed along my jaw, moving over to my lips. I kissed him, running my fingers through his hair.

It almost felt too soon to be happening, but the release started building up in me.

Without me having to say a word, Dean already knew what to do, moving faster as I panted, moaning against his lips as that rubber band snapped inside of me. Dean wasn't far behind, joining me in ecstasy soon after, moaning as he kissed my collarbone. A few moments later, he was about to move out of me, when I put my hands on his shoulders, holding him against me.

"Just a minute." I breathed out, kissing his arm. I didn't want to lose this feeling.

I closed my eyes, letting my head lull to the side as Dean rested his head on my shoulder, breathing heavily on top of me. Eventually, I felt him slip out of me as he looked up with a small smile, placing a gentle kiss on my lips before laying next to me. I turned over on my side, resting my chin on his chest as he ran a few fingers through my hair.

"I can't believe this." I murmured.

"Me either."

"I'm sorry I look like shit."

"No you don't. You're beautiful."

"I love you." I said, tears forming my eyes. I never thought I'd get to tell him that again.

"...I love you, too." Dean smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask, but I could bring myself to do so. I didn't want to ruin this moment.


Surprisingly, I had drifted off to sleep, I hadn't had one nightmare. I'd woken up a little while later, seeing the beginnings of the sunrise shining through the sheer curtains on the window. The good feeling fluttering around in my chest left abruptly as looked around the bed, seeing that Dean wasn't there.

Was all of that just a dream? No...it couldn't have been.

I started breathing heavily as I sat upright, tears springing to my eyes as everything came crashing down around me. Was I starting to blur the lines between fiction and reality now? Could I not tell the difference anymore?

The door creaked open slightly, but I barely paid any attention, staring blankly at the sheets around me.

"Morning, Cherry Pie." Dean called, scaring the shit out of me.

"Oh god." I muttered, holding my chest as my heart beat erratically.

"Did I scare you?" Dean asked, sitting in front of me with a smile.

"A little."

"Sorry."

"Are you- is this real?"

"What? Of course. Tor, what's wrong?" Dean asked, his eyes full of concern.

"I just- I don't know, I thought- when I woke up and you weren't here, I thought that maybe everything that happened was...a dream or something."

"This isn't a dream" Dean murmured, cradling my face in his hands. "I just went to take a shower."

"Yeah. Right." I nodded, noticing that he was in different clothes. Dean placed a gentle kiss on my lips, silently letting me know that this was, in fact, very real. It was then that I remembered his things sitting in the drawer. "Oh."

"What?"

"Here." I said, reaching over into the nightstand drawer, pulling out Dean's ring and bracelets, giving them back.

"You kept my stuff."

"Of course I did."

"I guess this would be a bad time to ask after what happened, but uh, you- you...uh..." Dean trailed off, struggling to find the words.

"What?"

"You know, anything happen...with anyone?"

"Are you asking me if I've been dating or something?"

"I'd understand-"

"What did I tell you?" I asked, a slight feeling of anger rushing through me. "There is no one else for me. There never could be. Don't you fucking think that."

"Alright, alright." Dean mumbled, holding his hands up at my sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry, I just don't like hearing you say that that."

"I know. I- I shouldn't have."

"You're it for me. How can I prove that to you?"

"You don't..." Dean sighed, shaking his head. "I just get stupid sometimes. You don't have to prove anything."

"Good."

"We didn't get to talk much last night. How have- how have you been?"

"Okay." I lied.

"Tori."

"What?"

"Tell me the truth. I mean, when was the last time you ate something?"

"Dean, things have been hard without you. I wasn't really in the mood to stuff my face and skip through a meadow."

"...I just want you to be healthy."

"I know. I'll be okay." I nodded. "Can I ask you something now?"

"Yeah."

"What do you remember?"

"From when?"

"You know when, Dean."

"The, uh- the hellhounds...then- then, uh, nothing." Dean cleared his throat, his eyes telling a completely different story. I noticed the usual spark in them gone, the green drained lightly as his eyes clouded over.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "Have you talked to Sam? I tried to call him, but his number wasn't working. He's not- I mean-"

"He's alive. As far as we know."

"Wait, what do you mean, as far as we know?"

"I haven't talked to him in a couple months."

"What? Why?"

"A lot has happened since you've been gone, Dean. You don't know the half of it. Like I said, things have been really hard. We had to- we had to bury you. Something I thought would never happen."

"Why did you bury me, anyway?"

"Bobby wanted to, you know...do the usual. But I couldn't- I couldn't do that. Sam agreed with me, so we didn't."

"Well, I'm glad you guys won that one."

I nodded. "I just- I figured you'd need it when you got out."

"What?" Dean asked, something about what I'd said making him look at me suspiciously. "Tori, what did you do?"

"What are you talking about?"

"No...you didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"I can't believe I didn't think- why would you do that?"

"Do what?"

"What did you do? Sell your soul? What?" Dean asked, getting upset.

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking my head.

"Then how did I come back?"

"I'm just as confused as you are."

"Then it- Sam had to have done something..." Dean said, standing up.

I followed him, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as we made our way downstairs where Bobby was sitting on the couch. "Mornin-"

"Dean, wait." I called as he went over to the phone. "That's not possible."

"What's going on?" Bobby asked.

"Why not?" Dean asked me. "Because something got me out. And whatever it was, was bad mojo. You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this- this force, this presence. I don't know, but it- it blew past me at a fill-up joint."

"What are you talking about?"

"Sam made a deal. That's how I got out." Dean explained, lifting his sleeve to show Bobby the hand-print. "It makes sense now. It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna try to find Sam." Dean replied, picking up the phone, dialing a number. "Yeah, hi, I have a cell phone account with you guys, and uh, I lost my phone. I was wondering if you could turn the GPS on for me. Yeah. Name's Wedge Antilles. Social is 2-4-7-4. Thank you."

"How'd you know he'd use that name?" Bobby asked.

"You kidding me?" Dean asked, booting up the laptop, typing something in. "What don't I know about that kid?" A lot. I thought to myself, leaning in the doorway. "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."

"Right near where you were planted."

"Right where I popped up. Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?"

"I'd say so."

"Alright, let's go." Dean said, heading outside with Bobby and I right behind him.

I pulled the keys out of my jacket, holding them up. "I'm assuming you'll want to drive?"

"Oh, I almost forgot." Dean grinned, running a hand along the Impala lovingly. "Hey, sweetheart, did you miss me?"

"I think she did." I smiled, watching him.

"She looks good."

"She better." Bobby interjected."Vic's been out here nearly every day, keeping her clean."

Dean turned back around, pulling me to him. "You're the best."

"Yeah." I smiled, hearing Bobby grumble as Dean bent down to kiss me.

"Let's get going, huh?" Bobby asked, heading over to his car. Dean and I started at each other for a few seconds before smiling, getting into the Impala.

"What the hell is that?" Dean asked, pointing to the iPod stereo system Sam had put into the car a few months back.

"An iPod jack. Sam did it."

"Goddammit." Dean huffed, staring the car before driving off.


PONTIAC, ILLINOIS – NIGHT
Astoria Motel

As the three of us made our way to room number two-oh-seven, I felt that same uncomfortable feeling enter my stomach, standing beside Dean as he knocked on the door. A familiar looking pretty brunette opened the door in a tank top and underwear, staring up at us questioningly. She shot me a small grin as her eyes caught mine, knowing all too well that I knew who she was.

I had to calm myself down, knowing now wasn't the time to try and kill her.

I'd get there eventually.

"So where is it?" She asked, looking over to Dean and Bobby.

"Where's what?" Dean asked.

"The pizza...that takes three people to deliver?"

"I think we got the wrong room."

Just then, Sam stepped into view, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Dean, his eyes flickering between Bobby and I.

"Hi Sammy." Dean smiled, stepping past the girl into the room. Sam watched cautiously as Dean walked up to him, not wasting any time to pull out a knife. The girl screamed as Bobby ran into the room, pulling Sam away from his brother.

As I tried to make my way over to Dean, Ruby grabbed my arm, shooting me a smile. "Long time, no see."

I shook my hand out of her grip, making my way over to Dean, who didn't see the interaction between us. I stood between the boys as Sam struggled against Bobby's grip. "Sam-"

"Who are you?!" Sam shouted at Dean, ignoring me.

"Like you didn't do this?!" Dean retorted.

"Do what?!"

"It's him." Bobby said. "I've been through this already, it's really him."

"What…?"

"I know. I look fantastic, huh?" Dean asked as Bobby finally let go of Sam, allowing him to pull Dean into a hug, tears forming in his eyes.

"So are you two like...together?" Ruby asked, playing dumb as she looked over with her arms folded. I shot her a glare.

"What?" Sam asked, as if he just remembered she was even here. "No. He's my brother."

"Got it. I- I guess. Look, I should probably go."

"That's probably a really good idea." I snapped.

"Sorry." Sam mumbled as she grabbed her stuff, pulling on a pair of jeans before leaving the room.

"So, call me." She smiled at Sam from the door.

"Yeah, sure thing, Kathy."

"Kristy." She sighed, disappointed. I rolled my eyes at the stupid act, shaking my head.

"Right." Sam nodded, shutting the door after she left. As he turned back around, he locked eyes with me, shooting me a small smile. "How have you been?"

"Not as good as you, I guess." I mumbled. Sam looked down, not saying a word as Bobby and Dean watched our interaction with confusion.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked, looking up at his brother.

"The girl?" Sam grinned. "I don't pay, Dean."

"That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?"

"You think I made a deal?" Sam asked, taken a-back.

Bobby nodded. "That's exactly what we think."

"Well, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me." Dean said, his eyes hard.

"I'm not lying."

"So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it?" Dean asked, advancing towards his brother. "You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this."

"Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, alright?"

"There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

"Stop!" I exclaimed, standing in between the two. "Just stop it. Sam is telling the truth, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked, looking down at me in confusion. "You haven't talked to him in months, how do you know that?"

"Because. We tried everything to get you back. Everything." I admitted, looking up at him. "We tried opening the devil's gate. That didn't work. No demon would make a deal with either of us. Nothing worked. We couldn't- we couldn't do anything."

"You tried to sell your soul, too?"

"Of course. I would've done anything."

"You were rotting in hell for months and we couldn't stop it." Sam muttered, his voice sad. "So I'm sorry, it wasn't me, alright?"

Dean looked between Sam and I for a moment, nodding as he took a small step back. "You don't have to apologize."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question." Bobby interjected, an eyebrow raised.

"If he didn't pull me out, then what did?"

"Right."

"So what were you doing around here if you weren't digging me out of my grave?" Dean asked, looking over at Sam as he brought us each a beer.

"Well, once I figured out I couldn't save you, I started hunting down Lilith, trying to get some payback." Sam muttered, ignoring the glare I was shooting him.

"All by yourself." Bobby scoffed. "Who do you think you are, your old man?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry. I should have called. I was pretty messed up."

"Oh, yeah. I really feel your pain." Dean mumbled, picking up a pink flowered bra off of the floor, tossing it a few feet away.

"Anyways-" Sam cleared his throat. "I was checking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here."

"When?"

"Yesterday."

"When I busted out."

"Do you think these demons are here because of you?" I asked. "Why?"

"Well, I don't know. Some badass demon drags me out and now this?" Dean shrugged. "It's gotta be connected somehow."

"How you feeling, anyway?" Bobby asked.

"I'm a little hungry."

"No, I mean, do you feel like yourself? Anything strange, or different?"

"Or demonic? Bobby, how many times do I have to prove I'm me? Tori would know if something was wrong." Dean said, glancing over at me. "There's nothing, right?"

"Well-" I started, pulling in a deep breath. "Nothing demonic."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bobby asked, looking at me curiously.

"I don't know. There's something...weird."

"Weird how?" Dean asked.

"I don't know!" I repeated, shrugging.

"Pamela might know something." Bobby suggested.

"Maybe."

"Who's Pamela?" Dean asked.

"A psychic." I replied.

"It's worth a shot."

"I'll be right back." Bobby announced, leaving the room.

"Hey, you probably want this back." Sam called, pulling out Dean's amulet, handing it to him.

"Thanks." Dean smiled, putting the necklace on.

"Yeah, don't mention it." Sam nodded. "Hey Dean, what was it like?"

"What, hell? I don't know. I- I must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing."

"Well, thank god for that."

"Yeah." Dean nodded, looking to the ground before heading into the bathroom, leaving Sam and I staring after him.

"Tori?" Sam called, glancing over at me with worried eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Why?"

"You're just- you look-"

"Not good?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm not. Not only did I have to deal with the fact I lost Dean, I lost my little brother, too, Sam." I said, looking up at him with sad eyes. "I just stopped hearing from you. I thought something happened."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, it's over now. Dean is back, that's what matters."

"Yeah."

"Are you screwing Ruby?" I asked suddenly, catching him off-guard.

"W- what?"

"Your stupid little act didn't work for me, I remember the woman she possessed. Why the fuck else would she be in her underwear?"

"Tori-"

"You're fucking a demon?" I asked, keeping my voice quiet even though I wanted to shout at him.

"There's more to it than that-"

"So you are."

"Tori, just-"

"Jesus, Sam. What the fuck?"

"I can explain."

"I don't want to know."

"Don't tell Dean."

"Oh, what a conversation that would be. Hey, Dean, while I was trying desperately to get you out of hell, your little brother was giving it to a demon!"

"Alright!" Sam exclaimed, clearly getting upset with me. "Just don't fucking tell him okay? I will when the time is right."

"Fine." I huffed.

"Do we- do we have to fight right now?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah." I nodded. Just then, Dean came back out of the bathroom, a haunted look in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yup. Ready?"

I stayed by Dean's side as we made our way out of the motel, finding Bobby standing outside near his car. "She's about four hours down the Interstate. Try to keep up."

"Okay." Dean nodded, watching Bobby get into his car.

The three of us got into the Impala, the scene all too familiar. It was strange how much I really did miss this. Something so simple.

"And this-" Dean started, pointing to the iPod jack. "What the fuck is that?"

"An iPod-"

"I know what it is. I mean, why is it in here? You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up."

Not too long later, we were driving down a long, dark road, like always, heading to Pamela's house. I felt a little nervous, not quite sure to how handle this. The last time I'd seen her, I was practically a mess, visions of Dean torturing and being tortured floating around my brain. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to get the images out of my head.

"There's still one thing that's bothering me." Dean muttered, breaking the silence.

"What?" I asked.

"The night that I bit it. Or... got bit." Dean chuckled, glancing back at me to see that I wasn't all that impressed with his joke. "How'd you make it out? I thought Lilith was going to kill you."

"Well, she tried. She couldn't." Sam answered.

"What do you mean, she couldn't?"

"She fired this, like, burning light at us, and, I don't know, I just didn't work. I don't know who was more surprised, her or us. She left pretty fast after that."

"What about Ruby, where is she?"

"Dead. For now." Sam muttered, shooting a look back at me in the rear-view mirror. I folded my arms, looking out the window.

"So you've been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff?"

"No." Sam lied. I literally bit my tongue, keeping my eyes glued to the passing trees, trying my hardest to not say anything.

"You sure about that?" Dean asked, watching Sam shrug. "Just wondering what other kind of weirdo shit you've got going on."

"Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish."

"Yeah, well, let's keep it that way."


PAMELA'S HOUSE – DAY

Even though I was nervous, I was happy to see Pamela again. She had become a friend over the past month, calling every-so often to check up on me, making sure I was still somewhat sane. I couldn't thank her enough, because I really think she helped me through a lot.

Pamela answered the door, shooting me a smile. "Well, well, well. You're doing better."

"Yeah." I nodded as she pulled me into a hug, lifting me off the ground. I laughed awkwardly as she pulled away slightly, keeping her hands on the tops of my arms.

"So, these the boys?" She asked, shooting Dean and Sam a lustful smile. "Dean Winchester. Out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh? Makes you a rare individual."

"If you say so." Dean shrugged.

"Come on in." Pamela smiled, moving aside for us to head in. Once the boys had gotten inside a ways, she held me back slightly, looking down into my eyes. "The nightmares, they're gone, aren't they?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Then I was right. They were real visions."

"I think so." I mumbled, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Amazing."

"Not really."

"Well, no." She grinned, rubbing my arm gently. "Does Dean know?"

"Do I know what?" Dean asked, walking over.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Tori."

"He should know." Pamela interjected.

"Really?" I snapped, looking up at her. "This is not your place."

"Oh, really? Who helped you?"

"Helped you with what?" Dean asked. "What is she talking about?"

"I had- I just had some pretty bad nightmares over the past few months." I replied, not meeting his eyes. "She helped me figure some stuff out."

"Nightmares about what?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"But-"

"Please?" I asked desperately.

"Yeah, okay." Dean nodded, pulling me to his side.

"So, you hear anything?" Bobby asked Pamela after a moment of silenced filled the room.

"Well, I Ouija'd my way through a dozen spirits. No one seems to know who broke your boy out, or why." Pamela shrugged.

"So what's next?"

"A séance, I think. See if we can see who did the deed."

"You're not gonna...summon the damn thing here."

"No. I just want to get a sneak peek at it. Like a crystal ball without the crystal."

"I'm game." Dean nodded.


Pamela spread a large black cloth covered in various symbols over the small, round table we sat around, smoothing it out before squatting in front of a cabinet to get something, her shirt sliding up to reveal a tattoo that read Jesse Forever.

"Who's Jesse?" Dean asked with a grin.

"Well, it wasn't forever." Pamela laughed, looking over at Sam with a smirk. "His loss...might be your gain."

Sam stared up at her with wide eyes, his mouth popping open slightly. Dean laughed at his brother's expression, shaking his head. "She's gonna eat you alive."

"Uh-"

"You're invited, too." Pamela smiled at Dean, shooting me a playful wink. I knew she didn't mean any harm by this, it was just her personality.

"You are not invited." I said, shooting Dean a look. Pamela sat at one end of the table, Dean on one side of her and Bobby on the other with me between the boys.

"Right. Take each other's hands. And I need to touch something our mystery monster touched."

Dean glanced around nervously, pulling up his sleeve to reveal the hand print. Sam's eyes widened in shock as he took in the mark, glancing over at me. I let out a heavy breath, looking back over to Pamela, who laid her hand on it.

"Okay." She sighed, all of us shutting out eyes. "I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle." Just then, the TV turned to static, blaring through he room. Pamela ignored it, continuing. "I invoke, conjure, and command...Castiel? No. Sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" I asked, my brow furrowed as the ringing in my ears grew louder as the table started shaking violently underneath us.

"It's name. It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back. I conjure and command you, show me your face."

"I think we should stop." I muttered, a strange feeling washing through my chest, the sense of a strong presence overwhelming me.

"I almost got it." Pamela muttered. "I command you, show me your face!"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"It's fine. Show me your face now!" She shouted.

Suddenly, Pamela began screaming, collapsing to the floor as the candles died out around us. Bobby caught her, lowering her to the ground. "Call 911!"

Sam scrambled out his his chair, rushing into the next room to call an ambulance as I sat there, my whole body practically shaking.

"I can't see! I can't see!" Pamela cried. I glanced over, seeing her eye sockets completely black ad burned out.


DINER – DAY

Bobby had ridden to the hospital with Pamela, leaving the three of us to our own devices as we waited on an update. I could only hope that Pamela would be okay. Whatever that thing was back there, it wasn't fooling around. That whole thing freaked me out, and I couldn't seem to focus on much else.

"So you felt it?" Dean asked, breaking me out of my trance.

"Whatever it was, yeah. It was strong." I muttered, my voice shaking. "And scary."

"But you said it was different from your demon sense?"

"Very. I can't explain it."

"You bet." Sam spoke into his phone, making his way back over to the booth, sitting across from Dean and I. "Pam's stable. And out of I.C.U."

"And blind because of us."

"And we still have no clue who we're dealing with."

"That's not entirely true." Dean interjected.

"No?" Sam asked.

"We got a name. Castiel, or whatever. With the right mumbo-jumbo we could summon him, bring him right to us."

"Absolutely not." I said, shaking my head.

"We'll work him over. I mean, after what he did?"

"Pam took a peek at him and her eyes burned out of her skull, and you want to have a face to face?" Sam asked incredulously.

"You got a better idea?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. I followed some demons to town, right?"

"Okay."

"So, we go find them. Someone's gotta know something about something."

The waitress came back over with a few plates of pie, setting them on the table before putting a chair up in front of the table, plopping down on it.

"You angling for a tip?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry. Thought you were looking for us." She said, her eyes going pitch black. I looked around the diner, seeing a few other people with black eyes scattered around. "Dean. To hell and back. Aren't you a lucky duck."

"That's me."

"So you get to just stroll out of the pit, huh? Tell me. What makes you so special?"

"I like to think it's because of my perky nipples." Dean quipped. "I don't know. Wasn't my doing, I don't know who pulled me out."

"Right." She scoffed, glancing over to me. "Like you don't."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You know."

"No, I don't."

"Lying is a sin."

"She's not lying." Dean interjected. "But we'd like to find out who did it, too. So if you wouldn't mind enlightening me, Flo..."

"Mind your tone with me, boy. I'll drag you back to hell myself." She spat. I felt myself tense up when Dean place a hand on my knee, stopping me.

"No, you won't."

"No?"

"No. Because if you were you would have done it already. Fact is, you don't know who cut me loose. And you're just as spooked as we are. And you're looking for answers. Well, maybe it was some turbo-charged spirit. Or, uh, Godzilla. Or some big bad boss demon. I'm guessing at your pay grade that they don't tell you squat. Because whoever it was, they want me out. And they're a lot stronger than you."

"I'm going to reach down your throat and rip out your lungs."

"So do it." Dean challenged, leaning towards her. A few moments of silenced passed as the demon stared at him, a scared look in her eyes. "That's what I thought." Dean stood as the demon sat there, fuming at us. He pulled out a ten dollar bill, dropping it on the table. "For the pie."


We rushed out of the diner, quickly making our way over to the Impala. I felt my legs shake as I moved, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Holy shit, that was close." Dean sighed.

'We're not just going to leave them in there, are we, Dean?" Sam asked.

"Well yeah, there's three of them, probably more, and we've only got one knife between us."

"I've been killing a lot more demons than that lately."

"Not anymore. The smarter brother's back in town."

"Dean, we've got to take them. They are dangerous." Sam said, looking to me. "We can't leave them in there."

"They're scared." I muttered. "Scared of whatever pulled Dean out. We can't take the chance on killing them right now."

"One job at a time." Dean finished, getting into the Impala.


MOTEL – NIGHT

Once we'd gotten back to the motel, Dean had started flipping through an old summoning book, leaning on the couch next to me. Not too long after, he'd fallen asleep, his head resting in my lap. I stared down at him, running a hand through his hair. Sam came into the room then, grabbing the keys off the table.

"Where are you going?" I asked quietly.

"Nowhere."

"Hey, Sam." I called, watching as he turned around, his hand on the doorknob. "Whatever you're doing, be careful."

"Yeah." Sam nodded, leaving the room.

As the door slammed, Dean woke with a start, his eyes wide as he breathed heavily. I let out an annoyed huff at Sam's carelessness, smiling down at Dean. "Hey."

"How long was I out for?" Dean asked, sitting upright.

"Not long. Maybe a half hour."

"Where's Sam?"

"I don't know. He went to get a burger or something."

"In my car?" Dean asked, noticing the keys were gone.

"Yeah."

"Whatever." He sighed, leaning back on the couch. "So, it's later."

"Yeah? And?"

"You said you'd tell me about the nightmares."

I let out a sigh, figuring this was something I couldn't keep from him much longer. "Right."

"So?"

"You said you don't remember anything from- from hell, right?"

"No." Dean answered quickly, shaking his head.

"Well after you were gone I started- I started having these horrible nightmares. Of you...being...tortured in terrible ways. And it was like- it was like I was there. But I couldn't help you." I muttered, tears forming in my eyes. I glanced up to Dean, seeing a shocked look on his face. "It was- I can't even explain how bad it was. I thought that it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but Bobby got Pamela to come see me. She thought that maybe since you and I had such a strong connection that we- we were soul mates. In the most literal sense of the term. And that I- then I could see what was happening to...your soul."

"That's- I mean, that's...crazy." Dean mumbled. "Soul mates, huh?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Wow."

"Tell me about it. But then, the nightmares, they just kind of stopped." I said, avoiding the part where I saw him torturing people.

"When?"

"When you got out."

"Huh."

"You can tell me…if you remember." I said cautiously.

Dean looked away, tears forming in his eyes. "Yeah."

"Yeah, you know you can tell me, or yeah you remember?"

"Yeah, I-"

Suddenly, the loud ringing started up again, filling my ears. I cried out in pain, covering my ears, noticing Dean doing the same. Just then, the windows started shattering around us, along with the mirror on the ceiling, sending shards of glass flying everywhere. Dean pulled me under him, trying to shield me from the glass.

"Kids!" Bobby shouted, rushing into the room. He quickly helped us to our feet, the three of us running outside to his car where the ringing finally stopped.


Once we had gotten a good distance away from the motel, the ringing had quieted down quite a bit, finally allowing me to feel somewhat sane again. In the backseat of the car, I pulled a washcloth out of one of the bags in the backseat, wiping the blood from Dean's face, picking out a few pieces of glass as I went.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"What? Protected you?" Dean asked incredulously. "Ow."

"Sorry." I murmured, gently patting a small cut. "You got the worst of it."

"Well, you didn't get hurt. That's what matters to me."

"How you two doing?" Bobby asked.

"Aside from the church bells ringing in my head, peachy."

"So you heard them?" I asked.

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "I heard them the day I got pulled out, too."

"Have these been the only times?"

"Yeah. Why? Have you heard them before?"

I glanced over at Bobby, seeing him shoot me a pointed look as I turned back to Dean. "Actually, I've been hearing them for a while."

"What?" Dean asked, his eyes going wide.

"Not that loud, but they've been there."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"I have no idea." I shrugged as Dean picked up his ringing phone.

"What are you doing up?" I heard Sam ask.

"Well, uh, Bobby's back. The three of us are going to grab a beer." Dean lied. Bobby shot him a surprised look, to which Dean just shook his head.

"Alright, well, uh, spill some for me, huh?"

"Done. Catch you later."

"Why the hell didn't you tell him?" Bobby asked as Dean hung up.

"Because he just tried to stop us."

"From what?" I asked.

"Summoning this thing." Dean replied simply.

"What? Dean, no-"

"It's time we faced it head-on."

"You can't be serious!" Bobby exclaimed.

"As a heart attack. It's high noon, baby."

"Well, we don't know what it is. It could be a demon, it could be anything."

"That's why we've got to be ready for anything." Dean said, holding up Ruby's knife. "We've got the big-time magic knife, you've got an arsenal in the trunk..."

"This is a bad idea." I sighed.

"Yeah, I couldn't agree more, but what other choice do we have?"

"We could choose life." Bobby muttered.

"And keeping our eyes." I added.

"Whatever this is, whatever it wants, it's after me. That much we know, right? I've got no place to hide. I can either get caught with my pants down again, or we can make our stand."


WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Bobby was finishing up drawing the last of many symbols on the floor, walls and ceiling, throwing the empty can of spray paint over into a pile of others.

"That's a hell of an art project you've got going there." Dean commented.

"Traps and talismans from every faith on the globe. How you doing?" Bobby asked.

"Stakes, iron, silver, salt, knife. I mean, we're pretty much set to catch and kill anything I've ever heard of."

"This is still a bad idea." I mumbled, feeling uncomfortable.

"Yeah, Tor, I heard you the first ten times." Dean said, shooting me a small smile before looking back to Bobby. "What do you say we ring the dinner bell?"

Bobby nodded reluctantly, shooting me a nervous glance before going over to a desk, placing a pinch of powder into a bowl, chanting in Latin as it started to smoke. I was waiting for any kind of feeling to wash over me, but minutes passed and absolutely nothing happened.

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asked, glancing over to Bobby, who shot him a sour look. "Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?"

Suddenly, a loud rattling sounded through the building, the roof shaking above us. My ears started ringing loudly as I felt that same strange feeling wash over me. Dean shoved a shotgun into my hands and he and Bobby grabbed theirs, pointing it at the door of the warehouse.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind." Dean shrugged.

Just then, the doors burst open to reveal a familiar looking dark-haired man in a business suit and trenchcoat stalking inside, his eyes on me. The light bulbs above us shattered as he passed underneath them. I heard gunshots go off as Dean and Bobby both opened fire, but I couldn't make my shaking hands do anything with the gun other than hold it.

The man didn't stop advancing as the bullets went through him and Dean dropped his gun, keeping his hand on Ruby's knife. "Who are you?"

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." He replied in a low voice.

"Yeah. Thanks for that." Dean said, rearing back to plunge the knife into the man's chest.

He glanced down at it, pulling it out and dropping it to the floor without any concern. Bobby attacked from behind, and without looking the man grabbed his weapon, touching his forehead with his fingertips, sending Bobby falling unconscious to the ground.

"Bobby!" I cried.

"Your friend is still alive."

"Who are you?" Dean repeated, keeping me behind him, separated from the man.

"Castiel."

"Yeah, I figured that much. I mean, what are you?"

"Why don't you ask Victoria? She knows what I am."

"What?" Dean asked, glancing over at me before looking back to Castiel. "She doesn't know. Stop bullshitting and tell me."

"You know who I am." Castiel said, staring over at me.

A feeling of familiarity crossed over me as I looked into his ice blue eyes. A strange feeling building in my chest as I watched him, some kind of fear taking over me as the realization settled into my mind. It was almost as if I saw the faint outline of the huge wings behind him, shadowing us.

"You're- you're...an angel." I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper.

"What? You're kidding, right?" Dean asked me, looking back to Castiel. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing." He replied. "She knows. I am an Angel of the Lord."

"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing."

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith." Castiel said as a strike of lightning flashed, lighting the room as the shadow of his huge wings appeared fully before us.

Dean stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, before shaking his head, letting out a scoff. "Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be...overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?" Dean asked, to which Castiel just nodded. "Buddy, next time, lower the volume."

"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong."

"And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?"

"This? This is... a vessel." He said, looking over to me. "You spoke to him."

"And you're possessing that poor guy?" I asked, suddenly finding my voice.

"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this."

"Why?"

"Because he was chosen. Finding a human vessel durable enough to contain me is not easy."

"I have the same problem with women." Dean mumbled. I glanced over at him, my mouth popping open as Castiel just stared, clearly not amused. "Listen, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

"I told you."

"Right. And why would an angel rescue me from hell?"

"Good things do happen, Dean."

"Not in my experience."

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?" Castiel asked questioningly, cocking his head to the side.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you."


Yay! Cassie! You have no idea how glad I am that I'm finally writing this, I literally never thought I'd actually get to s4 :D

I love getting reviews...so...you know...hook a girl up ;)

Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!

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