AN - It took me a while to write this one, but I am finally satisfied, so... Hope you find it satisfactory, as well.


"There's really no point in debating it," Renji said calmly.

"Really?" Ichigo asked, letting his eyebrow raise in wonder.

" It is really completely pointless."

"I beg to differ."

"It's not like we can write up a fucking petition and get the ruling overturned. It's been like this since forever."

"That's bullshit. Just because something's been the same from the dawn of time, it does not mean it should remain that way. Things that are blatantly wrong and unjust must be changed, no matter how long they have been the same."

Renji sighed, somewhat tired of the one-on-one he had the night before with Ulquiorra. It was impossible to alter Ulquiorra's REM waves and make them budge even an inch. He wondered if he would ever learn the lesson.

"Listen, we can debate for a century, but there is no way they'll let chicks in. You think it would be appropriate to have an orgy in a monastery?"

Ichigo scratched his scalp, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Don't fucking answer that."

They laughed at the idea of an orgy, but both of them had a hard time purging the thought of it from their minds.

"You know, it happens," Ichigo said, blushing.

"What?"

"Guys do it. I know for a fact."

Renji suddenly felt naked. Guys do it. He knew full well that guys do it. He knew how they do it, why they do it, and he damn well knew how it felt to do it with a guy, a guy who purged him from his royal life.

"I guess they do," Renji said. "But what's that had to do with our discussion?"

"I mean guys here do it."

"What?"

"Yeah. You don't know it because I'm the only one you ever talk to and hang out with, but some of the trainees do it. I've heard that the priests were doing it, too."

"That's just..."

What, Renji? Is it wrong? Is it dirty and blasphemous that two members of a religious order fuck each other in the dead of the night, hidden from the world?

It took him by surprise, a hand on his thigh, moist lips pressing against his. He reacted, though, opening his mouth, pushing his tongue between the seeking lips. He grabbed Ichigo's shoulders with the intention of pushing the boy to the floor, tearing his clothes off and fucking him. Renji's mind went blank with the desire of another's flesh he did not know he fostered.

He pushed Ichigo away as his eyes caught an orange shimmer instead of a dark, black one. He sighed in disappointment as he saw dark brown eyes instead of steely gray ones.

"I'm sorry," Renji said. The boy was sitting in his lap, their feverish erections close to each other, almost touching.

"But, you're..." Ichigo muttered, looking at Renji's obvious arousal, not understanding why the moment was gone.

"Get off of me, Ichigo," Renji gnarled, his eyes infused with a rage that screamed violence.

"What's wrong with you, man? I mean, what the fuck?"

Renji stood up. He had a certain quality about him that made him look physically stronger and more dangerous whenever he was enraged. For the first time, Ichigo was scared of Renji.

"What the fuck!" the teen yelled, not letting his fear take the better of him.

"You need to get out now, Ichigo," Renji said in a flat line tone.

"Renji..."

"Out. Now."

Ichigo turned around and left Renji's room without a glance, without a word. He shouldn't have thought that his friend was as open-minded as he was. He just hoped he could fix it with an apology tomorrow.

The moment Ichigo left the room, Renji fell to his knees, and once again, after a long time, he wept.


It was hard to see into the gray day, thick with clouds. The world seemed out of focus, shifted somehow. The rain was imminent, and Kira decided to wait for the heaven to bring down its fury on him. He deserved divine punishment. Every day he fell an inch or two, but somehow he was still unable to hit the bottom. If there was anything Kira knew it was that the severity of his fall got redefined on a daily basis. The heavy drops of rain landed onto his face, as if gravity was forcing them to fall. The deacon laughed. The idea that he could blame his own fall on an unspoken physical force had died some time ago.

"Izuru-san, are you ... erm ... are you well?" he heard a deep, guttural voice behind him. The voice still sounded foreign, despite its frank warmth. Kira forced himself to smile before he turned around.

"I am fine, thank you. I was just enjoying the weather," he replied. By that time the rain was pouring down and the morning sky was almost black. Renji raised an eyebrow and he looked up at the darkness as if he was ardently searching for the weather in which one could enjoy in. Kira smiled again, this time in honest amusement with Renji's ability to take things at face value. The redhead needed to learn to scratch the surface and search for hidden meanings, and he needed to learn that lesson fast.

"Things that please me do not necessarily need to correspond to those that please you."

Renji shrugged, but he did not move. He seemed to have decided to learn how to enjoy the heavy, cold rain, and sharp eastbound wind. The trainee and the deacon stood in silence, like two decorative pillars in the middle of the monastery concourse, defying the wrath of nature.

"I guess it is beautiful, in a way," Renji finally said.

"Oh? Really?"

"Everything seems a bit ... I dunno ... too much," the redhead explained.

"That depends on the perspective," Kira said, not really understanding the intensity that Renji noticed.

"Why do you think it's beautiful?"

"I never said I thought it was beautiful. I think it awful. It's opaque and menacing. I fucking hate it."

"But you're enjoying it?"

The deacon suddenly grabbed Renji's forearm and forced him to meet his eyes.

"You have a problem with me liking it?" he screamed at Renji, whose face turned as menacing and opaque as the weather, making Kira loosen his grip, but not scaring him enough to let go.

"Excuse me?" Renji's voice was muffled by the heavy the rain, but still his words managed to startle Kira into retreating. He did not like when people touched him arbitrarily.

"I apologize, Abarai-san, I am a bit out of sorts," he explained. Renji's gaze at Kira's hand seemed to have pried the slim fingers open.

"If you wanted to be alone, you should have just said so."

Kira brushed his hair off of his face. For some reason he decided that moving his hair had priority over hiding his bruise. He felt the weight of his robe pulling him down, reminding him of how weak his body was. His knees gave up under the weight, be it the weight of his sins or the weight of the fabric drenched with rain. Renji managed to keep him on his feet, embracing him with one strong hand.

"I think I better get you back to your room. You look awful," Renji said, trying hard not to stare into the deep bruise on an otherwise perfect face. He realized that Kira was enjoying the weather because it seemed to reflect his troubled mind, and his wounded eye. Maybe the blonde deacon was furious at his inability to emulate the nature's fury.

"That, Abarai-san, is an excellent idea," Kira replied, allowing Renji to help him back to the Ichimaru household. It would have been nice to feel the comfort people feel once they enter their home, their safe haven. Kira did not have that luxury. The moment they stepped through the door his muscles twisted and tensed.

"Izuru-san?" Renji asked, noticing the sudden change in Kira.

"I am fine. Just...The third door on the left. My room. Please." He did not intend his voice to sound so pathetic and laden with pain. Renji did that. He dragged him out of his cold, marble shell and made him soft, and Kira had no idea why or how Renji did it. The redhead spoke very little. It did seem that something was always lurking beneath the surface, ready to boil over. But it never did. Although Renji seemed honest and simple, he still showed some deep understanding of the order in West Fenore, which kept him vigilant. However, it could have been Kira's guilt that made him so soft and vulnerable around Renji. He knew what the high priests were doing. Gin never failed to share anything that would plague Kira's conscience.

Renji's hands lowered him gently against the wall. It felt wrong, allowing Renji to help him, to take care of him in his moments of weakness.

Then those same gentle hands began untying his wet robe.

"Wait," Kira sighed.

"You can manage to take off the robe yourself?" And there it was again. No overtones, no hints of sarcasm, just an honest inquiry, despite the fact that the deacon was obviously in no condition of doing anything himself.

"No, not really," he conceded, letting go of Renji's wrists.

Kira expected Renji to react in some way upon seeing his naked body, leaning so defensively against the wall. He thought the redhead would at least pause to look at his soft skin. He hated to admit it, but he hoped that Renji's eyes would caress him for only a moment. It would have been nice to feel the dark glow of his eyes warming up his cold body.

He knew Renji had been with Kuchiki Byakuya in that way. Gin told him that the truth about that relationship was the most precious information Aizen Sousuke had. It was hard not to wonder just how good Renji was, when even the infamous Kuchiki Byakuya yielded to him.

"Your sleeping gown?" Renji asked, without noticing how hungry for tenderness the man on the floor was.

"Top right shelf," Kira replied, trying hard not to sound disappointed.

Renji dried off Kira's body, dressed him and laid him onto his futon, as if he was taking care of an infant, or a wounded animal.

"I'll inform the Second that you're..."

"NO!" Kira yelled, finding enough strength to sit up and grab Renji's shoulders. Maybe Renji had no ulterior motive, no desire to take advantage of a defenceless man, but Kira was sure that the silver-haired monster would have no problem with it. Gin preferred it that way.

"Don't. I just need an hour or two of sleep. I'll be alright," he said, lying down again.

" If you want, you can borrow one of my yukatas and change. You really shouldn't walk around in those wet clothes."

"I'll be fine. I've seen worse weather," Renji said. He looked outside the window and smiled.

"I guess that's why I thought it was beautiful. I survived through worse and it brought me something very close to happiness."

Renji slid the door open, his wet clothes resounding each of his steps.

"You're a strange man," Kira said, more to himself than to Renji.


After changing into a dry yukata and lying down, Renji realized he was wide awake. He could not stop thinking about Kira, the way his eyes betrayed complete desolation, fear of something invisible and impending. A sense of doom seemed to hang over everyone's heads in West Fenore, and Renji felt it was only a matter of time before all hell broke loose and took over. There was no hope of getting a good night sleep, not with the thoughts that plagued him. He tried hard to concentrate on his concern for Kira, because he did not feel like thinkong about Ichigo, about his ridiculous reaction at the young man's advance. Ichigo was not to blame for not being Byakuya.

Although the redhead did not realize it, it was the first night he lost sleep over someone else. He looked out of the window, pleased to see that the rain had stopped. He was worried about Kira, and for a change, he could do something about it. For a change, he could walk over to where the object of his anxiety was and see if the man was doing fine, if he needed Renji to help him in any way.

Renji hoped a visit would alleviate his concern.


He could not move an inch. The bondage on his hands felt injuriously soft and pleasing against his skin, unlike the strong body pinning him against the wall.

"You've been a bit disobedient, haven't you?"

Kira squirmed as the naked thigh pushed between his legs, rubbing him gently, almost lovingly. He could not hold back a moan so subdued it bordered on inaudible.

"I guess you like it. Me punishing you."

He wanted to protest, to deny the statement. A hand stopped his objections as it shoved a piece of soft fabric into his mouth.

"I haven't come here to listen to your fruitless complaints," Gin whispered softly, waiting for the usual resignation to light a spark in Kira's eyes, making him eager to be forced into pleasure.

"I'm going to fuck you hard, honey. So hard you'll never dare to think that someone else could please you. I'm gonna make your knees buckle, I'm gonna make every inch of your skin remember what it feels to be touched by me."

Kira felt a hand slither around his waist, sliding down, not stopping until a single finger pushed its way inside of him. His head fell on Gin's shoulder, and he realized that he was moving his body so that the finger could reach deeper inside of him. He hated himself so much. He hated that he felt such a strong attraction to the man who felt absolutely nothing but perverse amusement with his lack of control, his masochism.

"Good boy," Gin said. "I'm gonna take the gag out. The only thing I want to hear is either my name, or you moaning like a little slut. Understood?"

Kira nodded.

"Gin..."

The Second smiled as his name rolled over Kira's lips. There was no resistance lingering in the corner of his mouth anymore. He was all in. It took only a few moments for him to silence all objections and make his sweet little boy submissive and hungry for a good, hard fuck.

Gin untied Kira's hands. He did not even notice it, but he never took Kira while he was tied up. He used restraint only to convince Kira that he wanted it. For some reason, however, Gin liked when Kira clung to him willingly, with his free will and free hands. He enjoyed every little grunt and moan escaping Kira's throat.

Gin was not the sort of a man to deny himself any of the earthly pleasures, and he was not the sort of a man to question why he wanted Kira to submit and give himself up of his own volition. Free will was something Gin rarely considered.

He switched their places in a dance-like movement. He let go of Kira as he slid down the wall, sitting down with his legs spread. It would have taken Kira only a fraction of a second to get away. The only thing he needed to do was to turn around and leave. He could have even injured Gin, because the Second was in such a vulnerable position that he could not fend off a direct attack. However, Kira took a step towards Gin. He slowly lowered himself onto Gin's cock, savouring every inch as it stretched him open.

"Shit," Gin hissed through his teeth, and his blue eyes opened wide when Kira started moving, desperately.

"Stop!" Gin commanded, his strong hands holding Kira down. The decaon's chest heaved wildly, his eyes staried in disappointment. His body felt tight and hot inside, and he desperately wanted it to feel even tighter, even more filled. It was the physical feeling of emptiness that took him over every time when Gin was not moving deeper inside, and that feeling of pathetic want made him hate himself.

"Gin?" Kira breahted the short name.

Gin grabbed his head with both of his hands. Something felt wrong, something felt broken.

"You're not thinking of someone else, are you?"

Kira's eyes widened in surprise. He had no idea who Gin was referring to. His mind was filled with Gin, just as his ass was.

"Who?"

"Good," Gin said, a bit perplexed at his own reaction. He pulled his deacon closer, kissing him the way he rarely did, claiming him as his own. Soon, he forgot about his moment of weakness, and he lifted both of them of the floor.

"I said I was going to fuck you hard, not the other way around, sweetie. You don't mind, do you?" Gin asked, a serpentine smile closing his eyes only for a brief moment.

"No," Kira replied as Gin re-entered him, holding one of his legs high up in the air, the other one barely touching the floor. He felt as if he was floating between dream and reality.


He heard a loud thump and a strange moan. Renji almost tore down the door as he entered Kira's room. Before he could take in the scene of Kira on all four, being fucked from behind by no other than the Second, Renji found himself pinned against the wall by an enraged high priest.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" the priest gritted through his teeth, infuriated by the interruption, although the act itself was completed.

Renji could not muster a word. The sight of the clearest blue of Gin's eyes made all words disappear. He did not manage to form thoughts of what Gin was doing to Kira.

"Gin, please..." Renji heard Kira say, and he looked over Gin's shoulder only to see Kira kneeling on the floor, naked, his skin sweaty and flushed.

"You shut up! What is he doing here?" Gin reiterated, never taking his eyes away from Renji.

"I came to see if he's ok. He seemed a bit under the weather earlier," Renji explained calmly.

Even priests do it. Yes. They most certainly do. Even priests fuck like rabbits.

"He's fine," Gin said, his old mischievous self creeping onto his face in a form of a familiar scary smile. He let go of Renji and walked over to where Kira was kneeling, eyes filling with tears. He did not want Renji to see him like this, in a postcoital haze.

"As you can see, he's more than fine," the Second added, grabbing a fistful of Kira's hair, making him lift his head and look at Renji.

"Right," Renji said. He stood motionlessly for a while, waiting for Gin to tell him he would kill him if he told, but no warning came.

"What? You need something else?"

"No.

"Leave, then," Gin said, "and don't you ever walk into my household without an official invitation, Abarai Renji."

"I will not," Renji replied curtly, but did not make his way to the door.

"You're still here. I know you like fucking men, but I did not know you also had a thing for watching. Do you want to watch, Renji? I heard it wasn't your thing, but maybe I heard wrong."

He said too much. Kira realized it, Gin realized it, and Renji surely realized it, because his body went rigid. He spread his legs slightly, as if he was getting ready to attack, but he did not move.

"I do not know to whom you've been talking to, but I assure you I have no interest in watching you fuck Kira. I do, however, want Kira to tell me he's fine. I don't believe a single fucking word you say."

Gin laughed.

"Oh, you redhead idiot. You really should learn to choose your words. A day might come when you'll regret them."

Renji took a step forward.

"I could break your neck without blinking," he said.

"Abarai-san. Stop. Please, don't," Kira pleaded, knowing that making Gin angry was a bad idea, but threatening him was far from the worst imaginable thing in the world.

"You ok?" Renji asked.

"I'm gonna make you regret this," Gin hissed, a hint of honest amusement in his voice.

"Kira? Are you ok?" the redhead repeated, completely disregarding Gin's presence.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Get the fuck out!"

Renji turned to Gin.

"That's all I wanted. It wasn't that bad, now was it? Better than getting your neck broke n, right?" he asked, a feline smile lighting up his features.

Gin said nothing. There was not a living being who would dare to antagonize him, because his reputation preceded him.

Renji was going to be sorry for not breaking his neck, because that was the only thing in the world that could have stopped Gin from taking revenge. Gin smiled once Renji left the room. He was pleased. He knew a time will come when he would have to take Renji into his own hands. This little episode was sure to make it so much sweeter.