A/N: I told you I'd get the next one up pretty fast! :) I was so happy with the reviews on the last chapter, that i was inspired to write! Carlisle is in this one (YAYY!) So hope you like and keep those awesome reviews coming, guys! I love to hear from you.


Chapter Four

Slipping

I barely slept that night.

I kept tossing and turning, and tossing and turning, trying my damn hardest to get Carlisle's worried voice out of my head. I had, of course, deleted both messages right away, in case Charlie decided to check them. I would not have him find out about my freak-out through voicemail. In fact, I'd rather him not find out at all.

With that said, I didn't sleep at all. I stared out of my window and let the moonlight shine on my face, hoping that Edward would leap through the frame and everything would be back to normal. No more of these confused feelings and crazy voicemails that keep me up all night. But another part of me didn't want Edward. I was still trying to figure out what his cold message was about…but I didn't get it. He had forgotten me; at least how much I needed him here. My chest hurt as I remembered his bored tone. It was as if he had better things to do, better people to be with.

But Carlisle's message…I didn't understand why it seemed so genuine. Of course, he was compassionate, but something about his voice felt different. It was as if he really was worried, and really did want to be sure I was okay. I didn't know why hearing that message had been so reassuring and comforting…but at the same time, let out a fury of feelings I couldn't explain for the life of me. My head throbbed with lack of sleep.

I made my way to the kitchen, yawning and trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I was tired beyond belief. Catching my reflection in a passing mirror, I cringed. My eyes were surrounded in dark circles and my hair resembled a nest; the product of last night's tossing and turning. I grabbed a knife from the cutlery drawer and an apple from the counter, cutting as I walked to the living room. My eyes drooped more and more with each step and the knife felt loose and unstable in my hand. I made another cut in the apple as my eyelids seemed to only get heavier and a searing pain in the palm of my hand jolted me fully awake.

Oh, shit.

A single drop of blood ran down the length of my arm from the stinging gash and fell onto the carpet. The cut was deep, I could feel it. Oh god, I could feel it. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to scream from the pain and the smell of blood filled the air around me. My stomach turned. Grabbing a washcloth, I quickly bandaged my hand and grabbed my car keys.

Another trip to the hospital. Joy.

I drove in a daze with one hand. It hurt like hell, but driving injured and extremely tired could only result in danger, so I tried to keep close attention to the road. Especially since I was the driver, I needed to take much care. The hospital parking was nearly empty, and I parked with difficulty, taking up two spaces instead of one. I didn't care; I just needed my hand back in one piece and not bleeding all over my car seats.

The woman at the entry desk was consumed in her computer work as I walked in, but I could see the clear reflection of Solitaire in her glasses. I cleared my throat obnoxiously as I approached, trying to get her attention away from the stupid card game and to my stupid, bleeding hand. The makeshift bandage was almost completely reddened from my blood and I tried not to look at it too much. My stomach turned again. The woman looked up from her game, finally, and gave me a toothy grin. Her nametag read 'Shirley'. I groaned.

"Hello, miss, what can I do for you?"

I stared at her incredulously. Was she blind? Could she not see 'what she could do for me'? I held up my bloody hand and waved in front of her face. I made mental note not to do that again, because it hurt like shit. The annoying smile wiped off her face at the bloody sight and I could see her gulp. Good.

"Well, as you can see, my hand is sort of incapacitated right now, and I would love to get it fixed. So, if you wouldn't mind doing your job and showing me to a doctor, that would just be great."

Okay, so maybe I didn't need to be so rude, but I was tired, hungry and bloody. Not exactly a picture of politeness.

She nodded silently and typed something in on her computer.

"I just need your name."

I breathed through gritted teeth because the pain was getting a lot worse. I tried not to move my hand or think too much. Not until I had stitches across my palm.

"Bella Swan…Chief Swan's daughter."

I didn't know why I added that last part, but evidently she realized who I was and didn't linger too much longer. Everyone knew who I was after the whole 'finding me in the woods after Edward left me' thing. I tried not to be embarrassed.

"Go down the hall to room 100, the doctor will be there shortly."

I nodded and quickly made my way down the hall, trying not to trip over my feet. The room was empty, and I hoped that this doctor wouldn't take too long. My hand was in pain.

The room was too white and blindingly bright. I literally squinted my eyes from the intense brightness and I sat on the uncomfortable bed, cradling my arm. It was so quiet, my ears hurt from the silence. I could feel the blood soaking through the bandage and onto the other hand I was cradling it with. I closed my eyes and tried to keep the picture of the blood out of my head. I felt queasy.

The clock ticked loudly and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. The pain was shooting up through my arm and down to my toes. The door flew open and I opened my eyes again.

My breathing stopped.

Carlisle stood at the door, dressed in a standard white lab coat, but looking as perfect as ever. He held a file in his hand and his eyes immediately went round as they took in the sight of my hand. He was beside me in less than a second.

"Bella, what happened?"

His fast hands were unwrapping the bandages and his eyes were locked on the now-visible gash. The cut stung from the sudden exposure to air and I sucked in a breath. He hissed and immediately began to sterilize the cut with a wipe.

"I- I…" I was stuttering. I couldn't form a simple answer to his question. He didn't notice; Carlisle was already stitching my hand. I hadn't even felt it. He worked fast and furiously, but gently too. I barely felt a thing. I continued to stare at his focused expression; a line of worry was stretching across his forehead.

Carlisle looked up and caught me staring. I looked away hurriedly, not realizing I had been watching him so closely. I could feel my cheeks heat.

"I'm finished, Bella."

I looked at my hand and saw a fresh bandage covering the stitches. I could only nod. He continued to study me and I finally looked up to meet his eyes. They were full of worry…and sadness? I had never seen that look on Carlisle's face before. I suddenly took back my wish of seeing him like this. I preferred him smiling.

"I'm okay…" I tried to reassure him but he didn't look convinced.

"Bella, how did this happen? Did you do this to yourself?"

I understood what he implied and shook my head quickly.

"No, I didn't. I mean, I did, but not like that…it was an accident. I wouldn't do that…you know blood makes me queasy, I could barely stand to look at a paper cut."

My attempt at humor wasn't received. He continued to stare at me with that look on his face. He spoke again, more quietly. I had to lean in a little closer to hear.

"You didn't call back, Bella. I was so worried."

So that was what was bothering him. I didn't know how to answer though. Truthfully, I wasn't planning on calling back; I didn't know what I would say. I tried to look apologetic.

"Oh. I…was going to…but-"

Carlisle shook his head and turned away from me. I could only see his back now. He was scribbling something on my file and then closed it and began to walk to the door. The professional, calm look was gracing his features again and the vulnerable, worried tone was gone from his voice when he spoke again. This time, it was the 'doctor' voice.

"Take some painkillers if it hurts too much. Be careful driving back, and pay more attention to your knives, Bella."

He smiled somewhat sadly at me and reached for the doorknob when I suddenly called out.

"Carlisle, wait."

He froze.

"I'm sorry I didn't call back. It's just…I got a message from Edward too."

That was half of it, at least. I didn't mention how his message had me feeling so confused and Edward's had left me frozen cold. Carlisle turned around and looked, sensing that there was more to the story. One look into his face had me spitting out the truth like word vomit.

"His message…it was…weird. Like he was too busy to talk to me and he sounded a little annoyed, I don't know why. I was just thinking about it too much and forgot to call. I'm really sorry."

I was. He smiled again, this time it was the smile I had seen on his face many times. The Carlisle smile.

"Don't worry, Bella. I was just worried about you that's all. I'm sorry if I seemed pushy. And Edward…well, he's probably just busy and preoccupied. I wouldn't think on it too much. But, if you want me to talk to him, I can."

For some reason, I didn't jump at his offer. I was a little more than annoyed with Edward at the moment and didn't want to talk to him really. I shrugged.

"I don't know. He said he'd call again. Truthfully, I'm not really in the mood to talk to him right now."

Carlisle didn't look surprised. He was still smiling.

"It will work out, Bella. You take care of yourself though…stay safe. I was so worried, I couldn't get my mind off of you. I was terrified that this was going to be…like last time. I don't know what I would do to myself if Edward's absence broke you again. I don't think I…anyone could fix you. I'd never forgive myself."

I believed him; and surprising even myself, I got off the bed and reached my arms towards him. I closed my eyes and took a deep, measuring breath before wrapping my arms around his torso, and pulling my face into his chest. In that moment as I held on to him, I felt so safe and whole. It was the way I should feel with Edward, yet it came so naturally with Carlisle.

He was stiff for a moment, as through deciding with himself if this was crossing an imaginary line, but he relaxed and I felt his cool arms comfort me as well. I smiled.

"Thank you, Carlisle. For caring. You mean a lot to me."

I could feel him gulp, but he didn't say a word. I was still hugging him. After a moment, he pulled me off of him awkwardly and smiled embarrassed that the embrace had gone on so long. I didn't have the dignity to look apologetic. I liked it, it had felt right.

"I'll see you soon, Bella. I promise."

He winked and with a parting pat on my shoulder turned to leave out the door. I made to follow him, but at that moment my feet decided to act of their own accord, and before I knew it I was falling over myself and the ground was rushing up to meet me face first.

I squeezed my eyes, waiting for the impact, but a pair of strong arms caught me an inch away from the floor. The clipboard Carlisle had been holding came crashing down beside me and he pulled me up, sighing.

He stood me up and faced me towards him, pushing a few loose strands of hair out of my eyes. My breathing relaxed at his touch and he sighed again, looking at me more seriously than ever.

"I swear you'll be the death of me, Bella."

I couldn't help but smirk.


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