Damned to me
Chapter Four: You never told me?
"Your name was Quistis, right?" Squall asked as she followed him down yet another hallway. He guessed she twigged yet that he wanted to shake her off. She was just the same as he remembered, trying to get him to join extracurricular groups to boost his chances of making new friends.
"Yes, Quistis. I am your instructor; we would have been introduced before, had you bothered to turn up to class. Make sure you turn up next time, or I'm going to have to put you on the 'students who need extra supervision' list," she warned.
"I've heard that list used to be very exclusive, namely Squall Leonhart and Seifer Almasy," Squall replied, he was nearing the cafeteria now, surely she wouldn't want to sit with him in there. Not that he wouldn't want to sit with her, but he was aware Texas Milton wouldn't want to.
"How do know about that?" Quistis asked intrigued.
"Stories get out," Squall replied sounding bored. "Well thank you instructor Quistis, but I think I can find my own way now."
"Hey, hey hold it right there," Quistis warned. "I said I would show you around, you can't just brush me off like that! I'm you're instructor, if you were to get lost, it would reflect badly on me."
"I don't need you help," Squall said walking away as fast as he could. Quistis stood there opened mouthed, until deciding to follow him.
So, Squall thought, as he wandered into the cafeteria, Quistis was an instructor again? Seifer just had no imagination. That woman could run the garden blindfolded, he would have promoted her first chance he got.
He queued in a line with other students; all wondering what was the cheapest thing on the menu. As a trainee student he wasn't required to pay, and he was going to make the most of it. It had been a while now since he'd had the leisure to choose what he wished to eat. He chose a cheese sandwich and a coke.
Seeing that there was nowhere to sit alone, Squall wondered whether the Quad was still the quiet place it once was. Eating on the move, he went to find out. By the time he'd reached the entrance, he'd finished eating the sandwich and put the empty packet in the bin outside. Now that he wasn't eating anymore there wasn't really much point in going inside anymore, but he was curious.
Squall wondered if Selphie had ever managed to organise her Garden Festival, but thought it unlikely Seifer would allow something so 'stupid'. However now he wasn't so sure, as he spotted a small stage and music room. Although there were a few aesthetic changes, new benches, new rubbish bins, there were still the same numerous plants and trees in the surroundings.
He stopped mid track. Sitting on a bench not too far away from him was Rinoa. Her face looked troubled, and her eyes red as though she had been crying. Every so often she would wipe her cheeks with her sleeves in attempt to forget her tears. Squall thought about leaving. He didn't want to see her crying and know she probably wouldn't let him, a stranger, help. But all the same, he couldn't just leave her.
"Are you alright?" He asked sitting down next to her. She quickly brushed away her remaining tears and sniffed loudly. "Ok, stupid question. You're obviously not alright."
She smiled at him.
"Actually there really isn't anything the matter, at least nothing I can prove," she replied, but it came out kind of choked. "Just a little upset that's all. By the way, well done for getting into Garden! It's not an easy thing to do, but you did really well. I've seen lots of people come and go here, I hope you stay."
"Why's that?" Squall asked.
"People think they're ready for battles, but when they eventually come, they freeze. You have to be detached sometimes. Some people can't manage that. Someone important told me that," she said. Squall thought her words sounded like something he would say. "Oh, maybe you meant, why I hope you should stay? Well you knocked Seifer over, he had that coming," she added trying to bite back a smile.
"My pleasure. Do you want some coke?" he asked.
Rinoa looked at the can.
"You haven't opened it yet," she said, implying that yes she did want some, but didn't like to be rude.
"Go on. You can have first sip," he said handing her the can. "Are you sure you're alright?" Squall asked again. Rinoa nodded, then slowly shook her head.
"No," she whispered. "It's my boyfriend, Seifer. He's been very pushy lately, telling me to do things I don't want to do and shouting at me a lot. I don't think he has been faithful while I was away either. I just don't know what to do."
Squall felt sick, his skin burn hot with anger. Rinoa was calling Seifer her boyfriend, as if she and Squall had never happened. Like it was just some sort of blip in the inevitable that was Seifer and Rinoa. But making it even worse was that not only was she no longer thinking of him, she was also unhappy anyway.
"Do you love him?" Squall asked, dreading the answer, hating himself for asking.
Rinoa shrugged.
"You either do or you don't?" Squall asked again.
"Sometimes, I really do try to, but I get so confused. You see, we used to be together before the sorceress war, but we were never very serious. Then it all changed when I met somebody else, I soon realised that what Seifer and me had wasn't real. You just know, you know? But this other person, he was, well…taken away," Rinoa answered, her head hung low. She stared at the floor as she spoke, as if by doing so she wouldn't have to deal with any consequences of her words.
"It was Squall Leonhart, I expect you've heard of him, I don't see how you couldn't have. After he was taken from me, I, well, I wasn't myself. Seifer and me just seemed to happen, and I never asked why. I suppose I should have questioned it at the beginning, but now it seems too late."
"Oh yeah I've heard of Squall Leonhart, who hasn't. In fact I know him," Squall said. What Rinoa had just said, he'd have to think of later. He had to remind himself that would it mean anything to Texas Milton? The answer was no, so he let it pass by, even though it hurt.
Rinoa looked at him as if she expected him to burst into laughter and shout, 'not!' It had happened before. People could be cruel, she had learnt that well enough. It might have been why she had found her way to Seifer, as he never mentioned Squall at all.
"Really?" She asked sceptical.
"Saw him the other day," Squall replied, observing the look of frustration in Rinoa's face.
"No! Was he well? What did he say to you? Where is he now?" Rinoa asked urgently, she dropped the coke and it spilt all over the floor. Squall looked a little startled by Rinoa's honest display of emotions. "Please, you have to tell me!"
"He's fine," he said to calm her. "He talked a lot about how he had had no visitors whilst in jail," Squall added, seeing the look of guilt flash over Rinoa's face.
"He wouldn't let me go," Rinoa said looking down at her hands.
"Who?" Squall asked.
"Seifer. He wouldn't let me go and see him. He said it would be too painful, that it would interfere with my studies. Since I became a SeeD, I have to take orders from Seifer. He threatened me too, saying that if I did go and see Squall he would throw me out of Garden. I'd have had nowhere to go. My father wouldn't have taken me in, especially after I ran all those campaigns to get Squall set free. I ran them for as long as they would let me, but in the end I realised it was futile," Rinoa told him, the more she spoke the quicker the tears returned.
Squall found he was speechless. He had had no idea Rinoa had run campaigns for him, they must have hidden that from his knowledge when he was inside.
"I don't even know why I started telling you all this. It's not as if I know you or anything. But, I guess, you just happened to be in the right place at the right time," Rinoa said, her bright smile seemed to make her tears disappear; she was trying to hide them.
Squall looked away. Was there a chance that she still had feelings for him? The way her eyes had filled with tears when speaking of him, made him hope for the best. He picked up the now empty can.
"You know, I think I know why Squall loves you the way he does," he said looking into her eyes.
"He loves me?" Rinoa whispered.
"Well, goodbye," he said before walking away. Rinoa watched him leave her, a confused expression on her face.
DiaryAnother run in with Quistis this morning, eventually I did shake her off. I've only been here two days and already I've seen more her than I have of anything else! Just the same, just like when I was her student, always on my case about essays and books I should be reading. Maybe this time I should join some of her clubs; maybe that's what makes her leave you alone. Not that I'm trying to avoid her, ok, maybe I am, but she'd understand if she knew the truth.
Maybe I should have accepted her offer of a tour; seems a bit suspicious that I already know this place inside out, but too late now. I don't even know where I left my timetable, in the Quad I should think, I guess I'll have to beg her for another one, maybe a tour too, say I got lost and left it somewhere, she might believe that.
Rinoa again. I know I shouldn't be speaking to her; it's only going to be a matter of time before she figures it all out. I wish I hadn't told her how I knew 'Squall Leonhart'. I know shouldn't have, but I just can't control myself when I near her. I just wanted to make her happy, in fact that's all I ever wanted. I should never have doubted her; thinking she'd forgotten me, when all the time she had been campaigning for my release. Maybe there are other things I don't know of too. I used to think not much could happen in two years. But I was so very wrong.
Rinoa kicked open the door with her foot and barged her way inside. Seifer seemed to be in the middle of doing his disciplinary thing, two students were in front of him, one girl was crying, the other looked like she had just been hit in the face.
"Seifer I need to talk to you," Rinoa shouted over the sobs of the girl.
The students looked at her like she was their guardian angel and both headed for the door. Rinoa's appearance had probably prevented them from being sent home on suspension. They made their escape fast and closed the door behind them.
"Of course" Seifer said grinning, showing her a chair by his desk. He was expecting an apology for earlier, and was already grinning. "Although I'd appreciate it if you treated my doors with a little more respect."
"Oh, your doors are they? Funny how you've never done a thing to earn them! Tell me, have you ever been on a mission that actually earned this Garden some money? No, you haven't, so they're not your doors!"
"What do want?" Seifer asked, bored already. Rinoa's angry tantrums were starting to get old fast.
"How come you never told me Squall was out of jail?" she asked, her body was shaking now, mostly from anger, some part fear. Seifer stopped smiling, his face now holding a sort of panicked alarm.
"Rinoa, honey, he's been out for a year," Seifer replied, seeing the anger build up in Rinoa's eyes.
"What?" Rinoa shouted. Her face feeling the heat of her anger, and her nails digging into her palms making little half moons on her skin.
"He has been out for a year Rinoa, or there abouts. Now if you would excuse me I have a lot of things I have to do," Seifer said, walking past Rinoa and heading for the door. He held it open for her to leave.
"You kept this from me!" Rinoa screamed. "He has been out for one whole year and you didn't tell me? You knew how important that would be to me! And still you didn't think to tell me? I suppose everyone else knew?"
Seifer just shrugged.
"Well that's it. Me and you are over!" she shouted, walking out of the door and slamming it behind her.
A/N: Thank you reviewers! There is now a picture up of a blonde Squall, which you can find through the links in my profile page, if you want to see my take on what I think he would look like.
