Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of the other characters belonging to the InuYasha series.

InuYasha has always been a hard headed hanyou with a rough exterior, molded by his tragic past. But what if everything that has ever happened to him, all the injustices and hard times that have made him who he is, disappeared? With Kagome's help, could he get a second chance to map his own course in life? And just maybe see the world a little differently! R&R Please

My Key

Chapter 4 Belong

The warm summer night was just coming to an end and the first of the sun's radiant glowing rays were just beginning to brighten the eastern sky.

InuYasha was sitting high in a tree next to Kagome's house, his back resting against the sturdy trunk, his legs stretched out comfortably along one of the high bows. A soft breeze rustled the thick green leaves and gently swayed the highest branches. InuYasha let a deep sigh and opened his eyes. He hadn't been asleep, simply resting and thinking. It seemed to him that he spent an awful lot of time thinking.

Three weeks had passed since the night in the hospital. In that time he had become more and more familiar with this strange world and all the new people that occupied it. However despite his best efforts to remember who he was, InuYasha's past and all his memories of Kagome and their travels continued to be a blank void in his mind. From time to time he would get a familiar feeling from things but he was sure it was simply the idea of the thing that was familiar and not the thing itself. The same way you can see a bird flying high on the wind that you have never seen before but you still know it's a bird because of every other bird you've seen in your life.

InuYasha turned his head and looked towards the second floor window directly beside his tree. The window was open and InuYasha's sensitive ears could just make out the gentle sounds of steady breathing coming from within.

InuYasha knew this wasn't where he belonged. This wasn't his family, this wasn't his home but Kagome and her family had done everything they could to make him feel comfortable here. He had all the food he wanted, brand new clothes and even his own bedroom which he rarely used. Sydney and Maverick often came by and visited to see how he was doing, even Dr. Williams had come by a few times to see how things were going. InuYasha was grateful for everything everyone was trying to do for him but the more comfortable he became in this environment the more out of place he felt. The first three nights he spent in the bed Kagome had made for him in the house he hadn't managed so much as a minute of sleep, but up in his tree everything just felt like it fit somehow. But even up in the serenity of the branches he slept very little. He couldn't figure out whether it was that he simply didn't need to sleep more than a few hours a night since he rarely felt tired, or whether it was a curse of his heightened senses. Every snap of a twig, the slightest rustle of a bird's feathers, even the tiniest scritching sound of a beetle's feet as it scurried along the branch above his head could be picked up by his ears and stir his subconscious into high alert. Changes in the wind bringing scents both familiar and unfamiliar had a similar if not worse affect. During the day when he was surrounded by people and plenty of distractions it wasn't so bad, but at night when he was alone his mind ran wild. It was as if his deepest instinct remembered something he couldn't and something about that feeling of simply not knowing terrified him. At first it had overwhelmed him to the point his heart would race and his mind would become completely unable to focus.

The first night this happened Kagome woke to the sound of panicked breathing outside her window, as if someone were having a panic attack. After cautiously making her way to her window she found InuYasha sitting high in his tree in a strange state. He would be sitting on a branch close to the trunk of the tree with his eyes shut tight and his hands covering his ears as if in some attempt to keep the world out. She called his name and tried everything she could think of but nothing could bring InuYasha down. It wasn't until she climbed out her bedroom window and up into the tree to sit next to him that he finally came around. When she asked him what had scared him he honestly answered that he didn't know.

It had taken a few nights but slowly InuYasha acclimatized to everything and gained enough control of his senses that his fear no longer took hold of him. The night of the new moon had brought a welcomed reprieve and the first and only full night's sleep he'd had since the accident.

InuYasha couldn't help but wonder why all these insignificant sights and smells could bother him so much. What could possibly be hiding in his past that had caused him to become so constantly on edge. He also found it very interesting how much Kagome had the opposite effect on him. No matter how worried or upset he got Kagome's presence was always enough to bring everything back into focus. Her voice, her gentle touch, her scent, they were the only things that kept him grounded when the world seemed to start closing in around him. Even just knowing she was around was enough to calm his mind, like tonight with the sound of her soft breathing coming from the bedroom window.

InuYasha took another deep breath before he finally sat up and silently slid down from his tree. No one else would be awake for a couple of hours yet but seeing as he wasn't getting any sleep anyways he decided to go for a walk around the shrine. He rarely left the immediate area of the house unless he was with Kagome or Souta. His walks mainly took him as far as the outer shrine buildings or the edge of the forest bordering the shrine grounds.

Early in the morning, especially warm quiet mornings like this one when everything was still and calm and InuYasha was alone was when he did the most thinking. He walked silently down the main walkway that led towards the street. He stopped a short way down and turned towards a single large tree that towered over nearly every other tree in the area. InuYasha didn't need to know the history behind this tree to know it was ancient. There was something about this tree and being near it that gave InuYasha a strange and uncomfortable feeling and yet he was also drawn to it. He tried his best to keep his distance from it, especially when Kagome was around. He noticed that she also spent a great deal of time staring at this tree and even more interesting was her reaction when InuYasha mentioned it or showed any interest in it.

Kagome was always encouraging him to explore and move beyond his boundaries in the hopes something would rekindle even the slightest hint of a memory. But when it came to this tree she always seemed nervous and hesitant. Even more importantly was the small shed that sat very close to it. Kagome had forbidden InuYasha from going in or anywhere near the building for any reason. InuYasha couldn't understand why. There didn't seem to be anything special about the building and unlike the tree it didn't provoke any feelings in him at all other than mild curiosity.

InuYasha stole a quick glance towards the house. He knew there was no way Kagome would be awake yet but he still had to check as he slowly took a few steps closer to the old tree. InuYasha took a deep breath feeling the strange tightness he always got in his chest when he got too close. The closer he got the stronger the feeling became until he was standing almost within an arm's reach. This was the closest he had been to the tree so far but he was determined to understand why it caused this feeling and he took one last step forwards. It was the only tangible thing in this world he felt such a strong connection to, and even though Kagome's hesitation towards it had kept him cautious, he needed to know why. It was just a tree after all, what could it possibly hold that could be so bad?

InuYasha raised his head looking up the length of the trunk. Part way up, before the lowest branches diverged from the main trunk, there was what looked like a scar in the bark of the old tree. InuYasha wondered what had caused the now old wound. Curiously he reached up and ran his fingers across the smooth surface. InuYasha froze as he suddenly felt a pulse move through him. The strange tightness suddenly intensified immensely, as if a giant hand where squeezing his chest making it almost impossible to breath. Then in a fraction of a second the feeling changed becoming one of intense burning pain. InuYasha grabbed at his chest half expecting to find something imbedded there, but there was nothing. In desperation he ripped off the t-shirt he was wearing but there was not even a mark where something could have struck him. InuYasha crumbled to his knees as the searing pain pierced through his flesh going deeper into his chest. It felt as if something were tarring through not only his body but trying to rip through his very soul.

Something flashed before his eyes, a chaotic scene of colour and movement. It came and went so fast InuYasha didn't have the faintest clue what he'd seen. It was the smell that lingered in his nose. Something was burning, a huge fire raging somewhere nearby. And blood, the unmistakable scent of blood.

InuYasha scrambled away from the tree. He stumbled to his feet before turning and running without so much as a glance backwards.

Kagome stirred in her sleep, stretching her arms over her head and letting out a protesting yawn. She rolled over to turn off her alarm clock and suddenly realized it hadn't gone off. Kagome starred at the digital numbers feeling a little baffled for a moment. Her alarm wouldn't go off for another hour yet, but something had pulled her from her untroubled sleep.

Stifling another yawn she sat up and looked around her room. Everything seemed normal and the house was still quiet. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed she got up and leisurely made her way towards her bedroom window. She peered out expecting to see InuYasha sitting on his usual branch but it was empty. This didn't worry Kagome since she knew he wasn't sleeping much. She guessed he was around the house somewhere.

The last three weeks had been filled with trials and small triumphs for both of them. It fascinated Kagome how little things about InuYasha's personality seemed to crop up now and then. When he was with Souta or Maverick or any of the other new people they had met, his cocky confident personality often bubbled to the surface. Although he lacked the constant hostility he usual carried in the past, it was almost as if his internal 'alpha' was trying to come out. Nothing was above or below his abilities and nothing was out of his reach. He acted more and more confident around everyone and liked to show off with the younger boys to prove himself. Souta had actually given up soccer for a few days just to get a rest from him. Maverick especially liked to hang out with InuYasha. Being as young as he was, Maverick cared very little for the rules and less for the consequences that arose when they were broken. Demons being a secret community onto themselves depended on a veil of invisibility between them and the humans. All Maverick cared about was having a hanyou 'brother' who could finally keep up with him as he climbed and sprinted and jumped over anything he could and InuYasha seemed more than willing to entertain the youngster by joining in.

There were so many differences as well that Kagome saw in InuYasha. He wasn't scared to ask for help if he didn't understand something and he asked questions about everything to better understand his world. Even though he had taken on more of a teenage like demeanor in the short few weeks since the accident, he still very much retained an almost childlike curiosity about most things. His pride no longer stopped him from being considerate of other. But the thing that stirred Kagome's heart the most was how much InuYasha smiled. If she didn't know any better she would think he was just another teenager from her time. He smiled and laughed and lived carefree in a world that was safe, a world that his mixed human and demon heritage had prevented him from ever having a chance to experience this way. He wasn't afraid to talk to her here. He told her what he was feeling, confided in her when things were bothering him. InuYasha trusted her completely and never kept secrets or left things unsaid anymore. This incredible change was what kept Kagome from taking InuYasha back home to his time. She didn't want to lose this new part of InuYasha but on the other hand her mind constantly returned to their friend. She worried about Miroku and Sango and Shippou and Kirara and how they were all doing without them. She worried for their safety and that if they didn't return soon time could run out for Miroku or Naraku may sense their diminished ranks and attack.

Kagome leaned down and rested her elbows on the windowsill before bringing her chin down to rest against her open palms. She still needed to protect InuYasha for as long as she could. She only hoped her decisions would not prove fatal in the end.

InuYasha was running. His feet pounded against the soft earth of the forest floor as he dodged trees and bounded clear over obstacles in his path. The horrendous pain that had pierced through his chest was now just a lingering tingle under his skin, and the disturbing smells were all but gone but still he ran. He had started running to get away from the pain and the horrible vision it had triggered but as it had faded something else had seeped in. Another feeling but this time it was a good feeling. He had no idea where he was going or why but he didn't want to stop. Even the smell of the trees and the forest seemed more familiar now as they whipped past in a blur of colour. The straining of his muscles and the rushing air past his ears made him feel powerful and free.

That was it. That was the feeling that was surging through him now. Freedom!

He felt no place anchoring him down or holding him back, no destination driving him onwards. He was simply moving forwards, moving on, finally reaching past the tiny world he knew for no other reason than he could.

InuYasha ran for hours without stopping or even slowing until he suddenly came out of the trees onto a fast moving river. Small pebbles and sand flew in all directions as he came to a skidding halt right at the river's edge. InuYasha panted heavily as he took a moment to catch his breath.

The cold water of the river splashed and bubbled against the rocks, creating turbulent ripples and cascading rapids before tumbling down a noisy waterfall a short ways to InuYasha's right. InuYasha casually leaped from the riverbank and landed on a boulder in the middle of the water before jumping again onto a larger rock that jutted out over the lip of the waterfall. The waterfall directly below was only about six meters high but it joined several others, dropping several more meters down the steep bare rock face before finally disappearing in a cloud of mist at the base and running off once more through the woods.

InuYasha leaned forwards watching the course of the water. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes. In his mind he could picture everything around him. He took another deep breath through his nose, taking in all the scents that surrounded him. The crisp clean water, the rich soil under the trees and the sweet hint of the tiny purple flowers growing along the river bank. InuYasha swiveled his ears taking in all the sounds of the forest too. The swaying trees, singing song birds, even the insects chirping in the undergrowth.

InuYasha opened his eyes again and looked out towards the distant horizon. Looking out over the trees to his right he could just make out the edge of the city and the high plateau right at the edge where Kagome's shrine sat. He smiled as he found himself deep in thought once more.

No one else he'd met seemed to have such a primal connection to the world around them. Even the demons he met didn't seem to notice things that he was constantly aware of. InuYasha looked down at his hands and his bare feet. He wiggled his toes against the coarse rock he stood on. He hated wearing shoes, his feet were callused and tough and he felt better when he could feel the ground against his skin. Even his hands were rough and used. InuYasha wondered what it all meant. InuYasha slowly brought his head up staring into the sun rising into the sky. For the first time in three weeks he felt almost as if he were finally home.

InuYasha's smile suddenly faded away. He looked around realizing he was completely alone. He wondered why being alone felt so much more familiar then when he was with Kagome's family. What if this was who he really was. Perhaps he had such a strong connection to everything around him because he had to. Because this was how he lived, perhaps he had no home and no place to belong to. Maybe that's why he couldn't sleep in a bed or wear shoes. InuYasha brought his hand up over his chest where the pain was all but a troubling memory now, but he couldn't completely shake that smell of smoke and scorching wood. And the blood, what could that mean? What was it that was hiding in his past that could be so awful? What happened to him, or worse what could he have done that would send him into a life of solitude in the trees.

Perhaps the biggest mystery he couldn't figure out was how Kagome fit into everything. She wasn't just someone who decided to take him in. He knew her and she knew him, he just couldn't remember how or why. InuYasha had asked Kagome several times to tell him how they had come to be friends but she always refused. She said it was because she didn't want her words to influence how he remembered his past. That way when his own memories came back to him, and she still maintained an adamant optimistic attitude that they would, he would know for sure they really were his own and not stories filling in the blanks. Now InuYasha couldn't help but think Kagome was just protecting him and there were things in his past Kagome simply didn't want him to remember.

Kaiman pushed open his back door carrying a newspaper and a large glass of ice tea. He casually glanced around at his garden which was blooming beautifully in the glorious summer weather. He slowly made his way to his favourite chair nestled in the corner of the yard under the shade of the large oak tree. Leaning back in the old chair he took a long sip from his glass before placing it down on the ground and picking up his newspaper. Snapping the pages open he settled down to enjoy the beautiful summer afternoon. As the moments ticked by and he slowly turned one page after another he couldn't help but finally look up into the branches above him.

"Hello InuYasha." He called up with a smile. Kaiman couldn't see the young hanyou and InuYasha didn't respond but he knew without a doubt that he was up there. He had felt his presence even from inside the house.

"I know you aren't shy son, so why don't you just come on down and tell me what's on your mind." Kaiman called again returning his gaze to the newspaper. This time there was a quiet rustling above followed but a soft thud as InuYasha leaped down from the tree and landed a few feet in front of Kaiman. Kaiman shifted his eyes up peering over the top of the paper. He was surprised by InuYasha's appearance, but he continued to keep a calm expression on his face. The young man stood before him with no shoes and no shirt, only a dirty pair of black sweat pants. InuYasha's feet, hands and arms were also stained with dirt and sweat.

InuYasha didn't say anything at first. He simply stared off to the side avoiding Kaiman's eye.

"You look like you've been busy today." Kaiman said as he closed his paper and placed it in his lap. InuYasha looked down at himself suddenly realizing he must be quite a sight.

"I … I was running." InuYasha finally offered as an explanation.

"Where were you running to?" Kaiman asked.

"No where …" InuYasha answered after moment,

"I just started running … and I didn't stop for a long time." He continued with a small laugh.

"Sometimes it feels good to just go until you can't go anymore and for no other reason than to see where you end up."

InuYasha finally looked up at Kaiman nodding his head.

"It did feel good. It felt like that was what I was meant to be doing …" InuYasha trailed off, his expression becoming serious and thoughtful. Kaiman quietly folded his newspaper and placed it on the ground next to his chair. InuYasha had come back to visit him a couple times but always with Kagome and the visits had always been of a friendly nature. Kaiman sensed this visit was for entirely different reason. Something was bothering InuYasha and the fact that he was alone gave the impression it was not something he wanted, or perhaps felt he couldn't share with Kagome. Perhaps this was a sign his memory was starting to return and he was questioning himself.

"What is it InuYasha? What happened" Kaiman asked gently prompting him to continue after InuYasha had been quiet for a few minutes.

"I stopped running … and I was alone in the woods. … and it felt … normal."

"I don't understand InuYasha." Kaiman asked. InuYasha's hand unconsciously moved back to the spot on his chest where the pain had pierced through him.

"I still can't remember anything specific … but sometimes I get the feeling I know something or I should know something … Standing alone in the woods I felt more at home then I have anywhere … and I'm afraid of what that means." InuYasha finished. Kaiman watched InuYasha very carefully.

"Everyone enjoys being alone sometimes. It feels good to just get away and have the freedom to think and contemplate the universe. There is nothing wrong with that." Kaiman offered trying to keep the conversation from getting too serious.

"It wasn't just that it felt good, it felt right … like everything just suddenly slid into place for the first time." InuYasha argued sounding a little frustrated.

"What is it you're afraid that means?" Kaiman asked leaning forwards in his chair. InuYasha paused for a moment trying to think of a way to explain to the old man what was going through his head.

"I hear everything, I smell everything, and quick movements catch my attention like my life depends on it. It's exhausting and I can't remember how to turn it off … I think it's because I was alone … I lived alone for god only knows what reason." InuYasha said shrugging his shoulders. In his head he was thinking again about the fierce and chaotic vision that had came to him at the tree, the smell of the fire and of the blood, but he wasn't ready to share that yet with anyone.

"InuYasha even if you were alone at some point, you aren't now. You have Kagome who cares very much about you. You have new friends who all care." Kaiman stated with a smile. InuYasha remained quiet. Kaiman could see InuYasha's troubles were not going to be put aside so easily.

"InuYasha … are you afraid there is a reason you should be alone?"

InuYasha hesitated a moment before slowly nodding his head. Kaiman waited but InuYasha remained silent again. Kaiman couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't something InuYasha was hiding. Something that he did remember that he was having a hard time understanding. From the little Kagome had told him, Kaiman new there were some dark moments lurking in InuYasha's history.

"InuYasha …" Kaiman started again.

"You say these are just feeling you get … but what is it you want?"

InuYasha gave him a questioning look.

"You are a very able young man InuYasha. Whatever happened in the past, good or bad, whether you remember or not, who you are now is whoever you choose to be!" Kaiman said giving him a small smile.

"I …" InuYasha started but hesitated again for a moment,

"I don't want to be alone." He finished. Kaiman smiled at InuYasha response.

"That's good. You and Kagome seem like good friends, it would be a shame for that to end."

InuYasha couldn't help but smile as he thought about Kagome.

"InuYasha did you ever consider that maybe you are always so in tune to everything going on around you because you weren't alone?"

"I don't know what you mean by that?" InuYasha asked.

"Maybe there was someone you cared about. Someone you wanted to protect, needed to protect."

InuYasha considered Kaiman's words. He hadn't thought about that possibility.

It was now late afternoon, the wind had died down and the air had become stiflingly hot. Kagome stood outside her house staring off into the distance. She rang her hands nervously as she hoped and waited to see InuYasha appear. No one had seen him all day. In the feudal era it wouldn't have even tipped her curiosity if InuYasha disappeared for hours or even a whole day without so much as a word to anyone. But since he'd lost his memory InuYasha had stuck pretty close, never wondering off on his own. Kagome didn't want to be paranoid but after an entire day without seeing him, she couldn't help but worry. She worried if something had happened to him, worried he was lost or hurt again. She also worried that maybe something had changed. What if he had started to remember something?

Kagome looked around the shrine grounds, her eyes were drawn to the old sacred tree and she wondered towards it. Of all the things InuYasha could remember from his past, there were so many she wished he wouldn't. The events that had made him cold and closed off before, what if they changed him again? Kagome paused in front of the tree before lifting her hand and pressing her palm against the course exterior.

InuYasha slowly made his way towards the shrine. He kept to the trees and off the roads and sidewalks to avoid attracting too much attention as he still looked like a mess and he hadn't remembered his hat that morning. As he emerged back onto the shrine grounds he spotted Kagome standing by the old tree and he stopped. She had her hand against the tree and her eyes closed. She looked as if she were in deep thought about something.

InuYasha knew she was protecting him from something. After the vision he'd had that morning he could no longer deny that, but what Kaiman had said made sense to and it had given him a lot to think about.

InuYasha continued to watch Kagome from across the yard. The afternoon sun was washing the grounds in rich golden orange colours. In the humid temperatures, Kagome had adorned her casual comfortable clothes. She was wearing a light white tank top and a pair of old worn denim shorts. InuYasha couldn't help but notice the way the sun's warm colours kissed her skin and made her glow.

Kagome opened her eyes and turned spotting InuYasha watching her. She smiled with delight as she turned and raced towards him.

"InuYasha!" She called as she came to an abrupt halt right in front of him.

"Where have you been all day? And why are you such a mess?" Kagome asked as she looked InuYasha up and down with a worried look.

"Sorry … I was just thinking … I'm fine though …" InuYasha added as Kagome reached up and brushed his bangs from his face so she better see his eyes. InuYasha smiled as she felt her hand brush against his cheek. She was so worried about him all the time. He didn't want her to be worried about him.

In the tranquility and solitude of the forest he felt at home but with Kagome, where ever she was, that was where he felt safe. Maybe he was right and he had never had a place to belong to before. But now, there was a place he wanted to belong to. He didn't want to remember what he'd forgotten if it meant things would change from the way they were now. This was what he wanted to protect.

Kagome watched InuYasha very closely. His eyes and his expression seemed different now. A cold feeling trickled into Kagome's gut as she recognized the look. It was the same way he used to look at her. The way he looked when he was hiding something, when he knew something he didn't want her to know.

"Why don't we head towards the house?" Kagome suggested.

"Mom should have dinner ready soon."

"Yeah, I should probably clean up a bit." InuYasha laughed.

Together they walked back towards the house. Their path took them past the sacred tree and Kagome couldn't help but notice InuYasha glancing uneasily in its direction.

Kagome didn't say anything but she knew something had changed. InuYasha was keeping a secret from her and it gave her a very uneasy feeling.

R&R please.

Love FireFly