Chapter 4
Rachel looked in the mirror, her face lit by the many light bulbs surrounding it; she fixed her hair and started to think about what her first line was – "Hi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget "Over the Moon" - My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless (and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow"
Rachel Berry had been cast as Maureen straight out of NYADA; it was unusual to have someone so young playing the role but the casting director was convinced that Rachel could pull off the part. Tonight was opening night and Rachel was more nervous than she'd ever been in her entire life, she was a proper star, or about to be. This could be the start of something fantastic but she couldn't help but feel something was missing, she knew exactly what it was; Quinn.
Q disappeared the day after she'd finally asked Rachel out, she hadn't been seen since. The star knew that her two-time lover had left town, she wasn't kidnapped or murdered, she just left. Rachel felt betrayed a little, like she'd been jilted at the alter; she'd given her heart wholly and completely for the first time in her life and she had been rejected in the worst way possible.
Rachel was unsure about taking Rent because it carried so many memories but she settled on the idea that it could be some form of closure, something that could help her move on. Kurt had been very supportive but he was in a show of his own and he'd moved in with Blaine so he couldn't be there for Rachel 24/7 anymore, he had been brilliant at distracting her but was also there when she couldn't be distracted.
There was a knock at the door.
"Miss Berry" said the stage hand, "These just arrived for you." He held out a large bunch of red roses, all in full bloom.
"Thank you" said a suitably surprised Rachel, taking the bouquet. The stagehand nodded and left, the singer sat down, stunned. The flowers from her dads had already arrived, so had Kurt's and Shelby's, she had no idea who could have sent them. There was a card attached – "Good luck tonight, meet me at the bar afterwards." There wasn't a name of any kind, normally Rachel would have thought of a million theories and had fun trying to whittle it down but she was too nervous so she resolved to put the roses in some water and deal with it after the show.
The cast took their third curtain call; Rachel had been phenomenal, just like she always had been. She beamed as she finally walked back to her dressing room to get changed back in to herself, now that the nerves of the show were out the way, the flowers held a fun mystery. There was only one way to find out who sent them; meet them at the bar.
Rachel made her way through the crowds to the bar pretty easily, swerving in and out of the small clumps of people. No one really recognised her because her style was so different to Maureen's and she wasn't plastered in make-up. Then she got to the door that lead to the bar, she took a deep breath, pushed it open and walked in. She searched for a familiar face in the room full of theatre goers, she couldn't pick anyone out immediately, and then she heard her name.
"Berry!"
There she was, perching on a bar stool with one arm leaning behind her on to the bar itself; the wanderer returned from her travels. Rachel's smile faded, all the suppressed emotions were bubbling up inside her; the rage, the fear, the desperation, the heartache. She didn't know how to deal with it. Quinn could see what was happening from across the room, as she got up from the bar she was just in time to see Rachel walk out of the room.
At the risk of looking like a stalker, Q followed Rachel back to her flat. The star let her only to have the pleasure of turning round and slamming her front door in Quinn's face.
"Rach, let me in" called Quinn, standing right next to the door, knocking with her index knuckle. Rachel hadn't gotten far after shutting the door; she fell back against it and slumped down to the floor. Seeing Quinn after all this time was too much, she couldn't handle it. Why couldn't she stay gone? It was just starting to get easier. Rachel could hear her name being called on the other side of the door but she was dumb, she couldn't reply, for once she was speechless. She knew she had to muster something up.
"No."
"You still there?" asked a slightly more hopefully Quinn, she waited for a response that would not come. "I'm sorry for what I did, will you let me explain?" Once again her question seemed to fall on deaf ears. "Please let me in so I can explain!" More silence. "Fine, I'll just have to do it through the door."
The next half an hour was filled with the slightly muffled voice of Quinn telling Rachel exactly what happened in between asking her out and now. Quinn left because she didn't think she was doing the right thing for her family or for Rachel by trapping her in a relationship just before her life was about to begin so Quinn skipped town and went on a hitchhiking trip. She hitchhiked from state to state, experiencing everything that she could but there was always something missing; Rachel. So, Q came to the Big Apple hoping to one day bump in to her long lost love.
"I'd been here for a few months when I heard that you were lined up for Rent, as soon as you were confirmed, I bought tickets straight away. I've been so desperate to see you, to speak to you to be with or, as is the case I am satisfied to just be near you. I didn't realise I'd hurt you so much, I did it because I cared." Quinn paused to see if Rachel would reply to her at all, she so badly wanted to hear her voice again.
"You were supposed to love me" came the whisper from behind the door.
"I loved you, I still do and I'm sorry. I'll say it a thousand times and it will never be enough for me to be worthy of your forgiveness. I've got tickets for all the performances over the next month, it cost an arm and a leg but if I get to see you every day then it's worth it, every penny. You're a star Rachel, the brightest star in the world and I almost killed your flame before you'd even begun to light up properly. When I was watching you tonight, it was breath taking, you stole the show Rachel, everyone in the audience loved you. That's how I feel about you every waking moment. Let me in Rach, please."
Rachel got up and walked away from the door, Quinn heard her footsteps on the other side and her head lolled on to the wood that separated them. She didn't know it would be this bad, but she deserved it. She waited for another half an hour but there was no sound coming from inside the apartment so Quinn decided to leave; she could always try again tomorrow.
She had gotten to the stairwell when she heard the click of the door opening.
