The Mutants, Captain Bragg, and an OC of mine are the main characters in this story. I do not own any zoos; they belong to the government, zookeepers, and the general public.


Mutants at the Zoo

"Good morning, Captain Bragg," said the smart-looking man in the snappy green uniform.

"Hello to you too, Lieutenant Sideman," said Captain Bragg cheerfully. "So, then, its all been arranged, right? I get to keep the Lunataks for my private circus, while you get to take the Mutants to your private zoo, am I right?"

"Absolutely," said Sideman, "Mandora the Evil Chaser has every confidence that I can keep the Mutants busy and out of trouble from now on. In fact, she dropped a hint that she thinks I'm better at holding prisoners than you are, Bragg."

Bragg rolled his eyes. "That's Mandora for you. She always has had it in for me, ever since I tried to flirt with her that one time. But I'm sure you'll do good, friend. Crownan and I will cover you while you make the transfer."

Bragg and Sideman walked over to the Circus Train spaceship that Captain Bragg owned. They did their best to ignore the rants and raves of the Lunataks as they passed their cage. When they came to the Mutants' cage, Captain Bragg addressed them.

"All right, Mutants," he said as authoritatively as he could, "You don't like my hospitality as your caregiver and jailer, do you?"

The Mutants sneered. "What's it to you, Bragg?" demanded Slithe.

"Well," continued Bragg, "Since you don't like it, my friend here, Lt. Sideman, shall be transferring you to his own little 'prison.' And he sincerely thinks you'll appreciate it better than the Circus Train. So come on, get out, and don't try any funny stuff!"

Crownan unlocked the cage door, and the Mutants piled out under Bragg and Sideman's watchful gaze.

"Nyah," said Jackalman, "What sort of place could be better than this pity-forsaken place?"

Sideman grinned. "It's a surprise. You're going to like it."

Vultureman squawked. "In your dreams, zookeeper!"

"Hoo, hoo! He's a zookeeper?" Monkain asked, alarmed.

"Of course he is, Monkian!" snapped Slithe, "What do you think he looks like?"

"I'm sure I don't know, Slithe," replied Monkian, "But I don't like it. He could be taking us to any place in the galaxy."

"Your new home is a zoo, monkey-man," said Sideman. "But you don't get to find out exactly what kind of zoo until we get there."

The Mutants looked nervous. Lt. Sideman piled them into a flying paddy wagon that served as his Zoomobile, and bid goodbye to Bragg.

"Hope you enjoy your new charges, Sideman," said Bragg, "Because I sure didn't."

"I have every confidence that I will," replied Sideman, before taking off.


The journey took the Zoomobile and its passengers deep into space, far from Third Earth and New Thundera. The Mutants chatted to keep themselves occupied. They had been together for so long, they almost found comfort in each other's company. Almost.

"Where do you suppose this place is, Slithe?" asked Jackalman, "We've been flying for too long a time to count."

"How should I know, Jackalman?" leered Slithe, "I don't even know where we are."

"Well, judging by the approximate amount of time that's past and the speed of this Zoomobile," reasoned Vultureman, "We are doubtlessly quite far from both Third Earth and New Thundera."

"Well, isn't that great?" Slithe said sarcastically, "Feather-brain here states the almost blatantly obvious again!"

"Stop calling me 'feather-brain,' Reptile!" Vultureman grabbed Slithe in a headlock grip. But the bigger Mutant was also stronger than him, and he soon lifted Vultureman off his seat and flung him to the floor. Monkain and Jackalman chortled.

"Lay off, you two!" Slithe roared, "I didn't do it for your amusement!"

"You really are the ultimate sourpuss, Slithe," complained Monkian. "You have no sense of humor."

"That's not true!" Slithe protested, "I've found plenty to laugh at when we've had the upper hand with the ThunderCats."

"Well, name one," challenged Jackalman.

Slithe glared at him. "I have a better idea. Why don't you name one, coward, yessss?"

"You stink, Slithe!" said Vultureman, getting up and taking his seat again, "You're nothing but a stinker! Cawwww!"

"Take that back, bird-nose!" Slithe yelled.

A familiar voice spoke over the intercom. "Be quiet back there, my good pets. We're almost reaching our destination, and you'll want to see it soon enough. I'll open the blinds in the back seats and let you see for yourselves."

Monkian blanched. "We are nobody's pets, buster!" he bellowed, but Sideman ignored him. The blinds opened, and the Mutants stared blankly at what they saw.

They were approaching a city world of some sort, filled with skyscrapers, roadways, and airways. It gleamed like the greatest metropolis ever created, although it probably wasn't quite that good. But what really struck them was the zoological park that the Zoomobile was approaching. It had very realistic exhibits everywhere, filled with animals ranging from elephants, lions, hyenas, and rhinos, to apes, monkeys, various birds and reptiles, and a sea lion show smack dab in the middle. Gift shops, snack carts, restaurants, and private facilities were everywhere, too.

The Mutants began to feel sweat on their palms at the prospect of being dumped with a bunch of non-sentient animals.

"Welcome to Sideman's Zoological Park, gents, or Sideman's Zoo, for short," said Sideman. "Soon, I'll be putting you in with these lovely creatures that I work hard to protect and conserve, and you'll find the hospitality of your own kind by your side day in and day out. What do you think so far?"

Slithe and the others gaped. "We're going to be living here?" he exclaimed. "You can't seriously mean that, yessss!?"

"We'll just be sitting in another version of cages for the rest of our lives!" said Vultureman.

"Nyah! You can't do this to us!" Jackalman complained.

Sideman sounded like he was smiling when he said, "Look at it this way, fellas. At least, you don't have to sit and do nothing in a circus cage, nor do you have to do ridiculous acrobatics for Captain Bragg. Your old friends, the Lunataks, are still in that boat."

Vultureman sighed and looked down in defeat. "Well, he does have one point," he said, "We won't be as bored or as humiliated here as we were on the Circus Train. It'll be hard for all of us, but I guess we should be thankful for what we do have."

"Stop being philosophical, Vultureman!" roared Slithe, "This is ludicrous! It's not fair!"

"Now, now, Reptilian," they heard Sideman say, "We've just landed. I'm going to be coming around to let you out, and I'm going to have a low-voltage Taser in one hand when I come, so behave yourselves."

That sobered up the Mutants quickly. Sideman indeed did let them out, guarding them with his Taser. Then, with the assistance of some well-trained zookeepers, he led each of them to their exhibits.

Slithe was taken to the indoor Reptile House. Jackalman was given rein to wander around in the Serengeti Garden, along with some elephants, capybaras, and spotted hyenas. Monkian was housed in the Ape's Jungle. And Vultureman was put in a cage in an aviary called Skycutter Birds. Vultureman didn't fail to notice the irony of the name.


In the Reptile House, Slithe had been put in a large room which the other reptiles had easy access to, so shortly after being locked in the room, he discovered that an iguana was creeping through a small entryway in the floor. The curious lizard noticed Slithe standing there, and slowly ambled over to him. Slithe felt like he was being put on or something, with this animal giving him a staring contest.

Some people outside the room looked through the glass and saw Slithe staring uneasily at the iguana. Suddenly, a python slithered into the room from another hidden opening in the floor. "Mom," said a boy to his mother, "What's that big, ugly man doing in there with the other reptiles?"

His mother squinted at the Reptilian. "I believe he's supposed to be another form of reptile, Andy," she told him, "He certainly looks almost like he came from a battlefield, because look at the way he's dressed."

The boy, Andy, took notice of this, and giggled. Slithe, who heard the giggling, lost his staring contest with the lizard in order to turn and shout, "What are you looking at, kid? I didn't ask to be here!"

Andy recoiled, but his mother comforted him. "Don't mind the mad Reptilian, Andy. He's probably just frustrated with his status as a zoo animal and hasn't yet figured out what the people at this zoo do for their charges."

"Hmph. I seriously doubt that, lady," Slithe thought to himself. Suddenly, the python, which had been sneaking up on Slithe, coiled itself around the Reptilian's body and started to constrict him.

"Uh, oh," said Andy, "That python's going to kill the poor guy! Should I call a zookeeper, mom?"

The mother was about to suggest this, but Slithe, who had been straining against the snake's inexorable grip, actually managed to break that grip, pulling the snake's body off of him and casting it aside. The python, having learned its lesson, "Never mess with a Mutant," slithered as far away as possible. The iguana looked like it was starting to respect him.

Slithe sat down on a rock and looked at the lizard. "How about you?" he asked the animal, "What are you looking at? There's nothing happening here."

The lizard looked at him as if to say, "I beg to differ." Reluctantly, Slithe resigned himself to his present fate for the moment and lay down to catch some rays like a normal lizard would. That is, until a Komodo dragon crawled through the same opening as the iguana and smelled him with its forked tongue.

Slithe was hopping about his room for the next half an hour or so, hopping mad, I should say, before the big lizard finally gave up on trying to be friends with him.

The human people looked on with amusement.


In his cage at the Skycutter Birds exhibit, Vultureman took in his surroundings. There were cages all around him, but they were all decorated with plants, water, and rocks to make it feel like the appropriate habitat for each bird, and the bars, while near-unbreakable, were almost invisible. The Vulture Mutant noticed that his own cage had some brown grass, a little water feature, and a lot of barren wasteland, like a vulture would usually thrive in.

He looked to the next cage and saw a species of normal vulture, a King Vulture. Its black-and-white feathers and its colorful head made it unusually striking for a vulture. Thinking he was already going crazy, Vultureman struck up a conversation with the bird.

"Caw! So how long have you been in, buddy?" he said. The vulture looked at him blandly, although it seemed to be attracted to the hoarse grunting noise Vultureman made, like all vultures did, due to their lack of a voice box.

"Really?" said Vultureman, as if he could read its mind, "I'm a newcomer. And I can't believe I was put in such a small cage. Tell me, do I look anywhere near as small as you are, or any of the other birds in here?"

Again, the vulture eyed him silently. But this time, Vultureman detected a sign of melancholy in the bird's visage. Apparently, this bird was going stir crazy. He must have been there for a long time, and if a non-sentient animal could get restless in a zoo, think of what could happen to an independent sentient like Vultureman after being in here for a long time!

He looked around at the other birds. Kingfishers, bee-eaters, stilts, various songbirds, other birds of prey, and so many others, felt bad being cooped up in stir. This inspired Vultureman to suddenly break out into song. In his incredibly un-musical voice, he began to sing, "Nobody Knows the Trouble I See." The King Vulture started to rasp and grunt to Vultureman's singing. Most of the other birds joined in with their own (much better) singing voices. Soon, there was a whole chorus of them singing in the aviary. People stopped to stare.

A zookeeper rushed in to see what the commotion was all about. A young woman said, "Zookeeper! That…that bird-thing is singing in the ugliest singing voice I've ever heard! And he's causing an uproar with all the other birds singing. It's getting too noisy. My ears hurt!"

"All right, all right, calm down, people," said the zookeeper, "I'll take care of it." He walked over to Vultureman's cage and rapped on the bars. "Be quiet, Vultureman! Stop this ridiculous singing, or I'll have you transferred to the Flight Cage, where sound isn't so contained!"

"Oh, can you please take me to that other cage, sir?" Vultureman begged, "I'll go stir crazy in this cramped place before the week is out!"

"If it'll quiet you down, I'll see what I can do," the zookeeper promised him. He left to report the incident and arrange the transfer.

Vultureman looked at his colorful cousin in the next cage and said, "Sorry we couldn't get to know each other better. I'll miss you, King Vulture. It was great knowing you."

The vulture squawked in reply, almost as if implying that it understood.


Meanwhile, in the Ape's Jungle, Monkian was dropped into the jungle-like exhibit with the other primates. He, too, assessed his surroundings. There was long, green grass everywhere, and plants that one might find in a rainforest. A tire was tied to a tree branch, hanging down by a rope. A large rope net decorated the jungle, as well. Artificial waterfalls fell down from some rocks and into a pit below, where they drained away back to their source. A high wall prevented the apes from easily falling into that pit.

Monkian was suddenly filled with a feeling of homesickness. It had been years since he had last been able to enjoy living the life of the jungle monkey in the forests of Plun-Darr, and now, here was a place that, despite its technically being a prison for him, seemed to be an answer for his old ways of life. He wondered where the other apes were.

Then, suddenly, a big, silverback gorilla on the other end of the exhibit seemed to notice him for the first time, and beat on his chest, bellowing a challenge. Then it began to charge him. Monkian cringed initially, but as he did, he made his typical monkey-like noise: "Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!" The gorilla paused several feet from him. Then the gorilla looked Monkian over. He sized him up, looked at his whole body, took a curious look at Monkian's helmet and red loincloth, and stepped back a step as if to consider what the meaning was of everything he saw.

Then, the big ape suddenly burst into something that almost sounded like laughter. Monkian blinked, and at first, he was indignant.

"What are you laughing at, big boy?" he growled, "I look perfectly normal for a Simian!"

But then, the gorilla stopped laughing and slowly stepped forward again. He acted like he was trying to communicate with him. He made signs with his giant hands, touching himself, and then Monkian, on the chest. Even with his sub-par intelligence, Monkian could tell that this gorilla wanted to be friends with him.

To his greater surprise, the beast suddenly reached out, and gave him a bear hug. Monkian did his best to hug him back.

"Hoo! Hoo! Okay, I get it," Monkian said, "You want to be my friend." He made signs similar to the ones the ape had made. The ape nodded.

"What do I call you? What's your name?" Monkian inquired. The gorilla pointed to a loose collar around his neck, and his name was engraved on it.

"Linus, eh?" said Monkian. "All right, you're on. I could use a friend or two, as long as I'm stuck here for who knows how long!"

Linus seemed to understand this, too, and pointed to a place in the shade, by the viewing windows, where Monkian now saw a couple of chimpanzees, one male, one female, resting on the ground, not doing anything in particular.

"Ooh," said Monkian, "Why not? The more, the merrier! They'll be much better company than the company I've been keeping for so long."

So Linus took Monkian down to the relaxing chimps, and soon, the visitors of the zoo got quite a show watching the chimps, the gorilla, and the white Monkian Mutant getting to know one another better.


As for Jackalman, his time in the Serengeti Garden had mixed influence on him. He had made as thorough a look as he dared of the landscape of his exhibit. The capybaras seemed to be tame enough; he didn't mind getting close to them, although some of them were nervous around him. He soon realized why. He was a big coward, and these big rodents were weaker and smaller than he was, so they figured that he might try to eat them, even though the zookeepers didn't allow things like that to happen here. At the same time, if he confronted them in a fight, especially without challenging the other animals as well, that would only confirm his cowardice at the zoo.

He snuck up on a capybara or two, and began to laugh a jackal's laugh at them. The capybaras made a quick run for it. He chased them for a while, almost missing the fact that a child was saying to her father, "Daddy! That big Jackalman is tormenting the poor capybaras! Why is it doing that, daddy? Why?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, I don't know," her father replied, "But I'm sure a zookeeper will come and take care of it soon enough."

Jackalman was having fun chasing the world's largest rodents around. He almost wished that Ratar-O was there, so he could chase him, too. Then, he bumped into an Asian elephant, a fully-grown one. It trumpeted angrily, as if teed off that Jackalman had been tormenting things weaker than he was.

Jackalman sneered at the elephant and smacked it on the rump. It became quite enraged, and went on a stampede through the Serengeti Garden. A zookeeper was on her way by now. Jackalman smirked at his own "cleverness."

Then he was hoist by his own petard. A spotted hyena snuck up behind him and growled aggressively. Jackalman panicked and made a run for it. "No, please, don't hurt me! I was just kidding!"

But the hyena didn't know the meaning of the word "kidding." It continued to chase him, biting near his own rump. The Jackal Mutant ran into the angered elephant, and it whacked him in the face with its trunk! He stumbled over one of the capybaras, and it kicked him in its own fear of him. Jackalman was going nuts by this time. He didn't know what to do or where to turn.

At last, when he was about to give up all hope, the zookeeper arrived. She had brought along some backup, too. She fired a tranquilizing dart into the hyena, putting it to sleep for a while. Then she worked on calming down the elephant and the capybaras, while a couple other zookeepers grabbed Jackalman.

"Oh, you got here just in time, zookeepers!" he whimpered, "All those animals were going to eat me-"

"I saw the whole thing, Jackalman," said the woman zookeeper, "You started all the trouble. And the only animal that was even remotely interested in eating you was the hyena. Elephants and capybaras don't eat jackals. If you can't behave yourself with the other animals, I'll just have to put in a request to Lt. Sideman that you get moved to solitary confinement for some time. And based on your behavior just now, I think that's a good idea."

"No, no!" Jackalman begged, "I'll be good. I promise!"

Sideman was passing by at that moment, and hearing the whole exchange, he laughed at Jackalman. "And what's that worth? The promise of a Mutant. You're very funny, Jackalman."

Jackalman hung his head.


Later, in a room within one of the private facilities, the Mutants were given a meal of fresh meat and veggies (the veggies were mostly for Monkian). It was their first moment together since landing, and they were conferring with each other about how their days had been.

"You wouldn't believe the discomfort I had to put up with today! Cawwww!" said Vultureman, "I had a tiny, cramped cage, and just because I'm half vulture, they expected me to eat carrion! I finally got some relief when I convinced them to move me to a bigger cage, but this is no place for an inventor and chemist as crafty as me! Cawwww!"

"No place for you?" said Slithe indignantly. "How do you think I felt? I had to spend so many hours and half hours wrestling with snakes, dodging Komodo dragons, and dancing with crocodiles, and everyone who watched me was enjoying himself or herself. It was humiliating!"

Jackalman shivered. "You're telling me. My day was rotten, too. I tried to have some fun with some of the animals, but they all ganged up on me and attacked me all at once! And the zookeeper had the nerve to tell me that it was my fault! Now I have to suffer in solitary confinement for a week!"

"Then that almost settles it," said Sideman, who was keeping an eye on them from nearby. "I was going to tell you that if all four of you are unanimous in your belief that this isn't the place for you, I can always arrange for you to be transferred somewhere else, like back to the Circus Train, for example."

Slithe smiled in satisfaction. "Then that settles it. We're all going to leave this dump tomorrow! Wouldn't all of you agree?"

He noticed that Monkian looked uncertain. "Monkian?!" said Slithe, "Is there something you're hiding from us?"

"Well, uh, just this, Slithe," said Monkian as bravely as he could, "I don't want to go. I met this very nice silverback gorilla in the Ape's Jungle named Linus. He was a really decent fellow, and he wanted to be my friend. He also introduced me to two chimpanzee siblings, Kanza and Jewel, and he has this great idea of fixing me up with Jewel (she's a female chimp). The zookeepers even gave me a very nice personal name. Now I'm known as Addicus around here. And because of all these privileges, Slithe, I'm not going anywhere other than here. Sideman told me that we're not here so much to be guarded as to be protected from the nasty people that seek to destroy animals, and I want to stay in a safe, happy place, thank you very much."

Slithe's eyes had never been wider in his life. "You can't be serious, Monkian! You want to stay here and waste away your life with things that can't even speak to you the way we can?!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Why not?" replied Monkian, "Where has arguing with you ever gotten us? This is my home now. I'd rather be here than stuck in that blasted Circus Train again, or risking my neck fighting the seemingly unconquerable ThunderCats forever."

"But," said Jackalman, "But, if you insist on staying, Monkian, that means all of us will have to stay, also. Are you that selfish, that you wouldn't consider your own allies?"

"Hoo, hoo! Maybe I am a little selfish, Jackalman," said Monkian, "But having real friends is better than wasting my life with guys who don't know how to stop fighting with each other. And from now on, don't call me Monkian. My name is Addicus. My new friends know me by that name." He settled back into his meal, chewing on a piece of forest plant like a gorilla or a chimp would.

The other Mutants shuddered as they anticipated the long, uncomfortable future ahead of them. Slithe raised his water glass. "A toast, to my life, and the sewer where it floats."

Vultureman grumbled, "Well, at least I have a few friends amongst the other birds that are kept in this zoo. That's better than having nothing."

"Don't you start it too, Vultureman!" roared Slithe, "I've had enough of this talk about sentimental values, and if you or Jackalman brings it up again in front of me, Jackalman will be muzzled by me for seven days, and I'll have your beak, bird-brain!"

"That's enough out of all of you!" said Sideman, "Or I'll be the one who meters out the punishments, and that goes for you, especially, Slithe."

Slithe grouchily returned to his food and water, muttering to himself. Jackalman and Vultureman reluctantly held their tongues for the rest of the meal. And Monkian daydreamed about his next affairs with the great apes of Sideman's Zoo.