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Chapter 3: Indebted

It had been three weeks since he pulled the Black Widow out and Clint was still stuck at the base without an assignment. Officially it was because Fury was promoted and they didn't have a new handler for him, but Clint suspected that it had something to do with the girl. Or maybe Johannesburg.

He sat on the roof and watched the base in the middle of nowhere. From up here it felt like they couldn't control him. Up here he was free.

Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Natasha.

„I didn't know you were here," she said apologetically and for once she was sincere.

„Aren't you supposed to spend all the time in your room or with Abe?" he rose his eyebrows.

„That's boring," she waved her hand. „Anyway, I'll find another place."

She turned to leave, but turned around after a few steps. „Who's Marty?" she asked.

For a moment Clint didn't say a word. His brain was slowly working through her simple question like she asked him about quantum physics. Marty. From everything she could, from all of his missions, she asked about Marty.

„He was a friend," he said in the end.

„Was?"

Damn, why did she need to know this?

„He's dead. That happens in our line of work," he snapped.

„And why was that your fault?" she continued.

He got up and it took all his self-control not to hit her. „Who told you that?"

„You did." She didn't pull back, she didn't even wince. „Well, not me, but you told Kirk. I'm just curious."

Yes, he remembered Abe bringing it up when he took Natasha to him. And the Johannesburg disaster was that top secret thing everybody knows about. „Marty Sacharowski was working on a research for SHIELD. I was assigned to protect him or, if he would fall in the enemy hands, kill him before he could tell them his secrets. When they kidnapped him I had a clear shot, but I didn't do it. I thought I could save him. When I finally got to him, it was too late. I blew up my cover for all South Africa and let the enemy get his hands on some of SHIELD's most important secrets for nothing. Only thing I got out was Marty's body – or what was left of it."

He had no idea why he told her all that. She'd find out from the files once she got her security clearance. But he needed to get it out and it didn't really matter who was listening. What surprised him was that Natasha looked surprised.

„Did you just... Did you just confide in me?" she asked.

„It wasn't that confidential. Everybody knows," he shrugged.

„It doesn't mean we are friends, does it?" She said it like it was some nasty disease.

„I tried to kill, you tried to kill me right back, I spared you, you defected to my side, I just told you my biggest regret," he recited. „I don't think we qualify as friends."

„Good," she looked relieved.

Did it really scare her so much that someone would consider her a friend? That someone would share his secrets with her without any form of manipulation involved? He was tempted to test it.

He sat back at the spot where she found him and waved her to come closer. „Come here and sit. You can tell me something about yourself."

„There's nothing to tell," she shrugged, but took a seat. „But I want to ask you something. Why save me? Why did you risk your job to save me?"

Clint didn't know. Maybe it was because he realized that he's just as heartless and soulless as her and by giving her a second chance he redeemed himself a little bit. Maybe he was just losing his touch. Maybe he did fall for her Innocent Girl act.

„I liked your pigtails," he said.

She hesitated like she wasn't sure if he was serious. It made him smile. She really was bad at honest conversations.

His communicator effectively spoiled the moment.

„Agent Barton, do you copy?" Agent Hill sounded a little nervous. Clint tensed.

„I copy. What is it?"

„We've lost the Black Widow. We need you to..."

„You haven't lost anybody," he interrupted her. „She's about two feet from me and not running anywhere. I'll escort her to her room," he assured Hill. „Party's over and get ready to be yelled at. One of the worse parts of working for SHIELD," he told Natasha with a smirk. He knew Hill could hear him.

XXX

There was only one thing Natasha really hated about working for SHIELD.

Abe was really nice to her and she liked working with him. He was very capable and very clever. He could read body language as well as she could, so her debriefing became a small competition between the two of them. Sometimes she deliberately withheld a piece of information just to see if he'd know. In four tries out of five he gave her his signature look Natasha, you're hiding something and she spilled the beans. The fifth time she told him anyway, as a reward for making the interrogation interesting for her. No, she didn't mind working with Abe Kirk.

She wasn't allowed to go anywhere without Abe or some other agent. She was supposed to stay in her room most of the time, but she could sneak out any time she wanted. The little winter garden was her favorite place, or the roof, although that one she avoided after meeting Hawkeye there. The food tasted fine, her room was comfortable and clean, and people were polite. The environment was not the problem.

It was the fact that somewhere in the facility was a man who spared her life.

Natasha hated the feeling of owing Hawkeye. She spent most of her free time thinking of ways to pay him back, but they all sounded ridiculous, even in her head. The debt made her feel more trapped than the walls of her room. She wanted to save his life too, she wanted him to admit that he did it all on Fury's orders, she even wanted to wake up in Saint Petersburg as a freelance assassin with more assassins on her trail. Anything but this terrible feeling of being tied to someone.

She was going to return the favor as soon as possible.

When Abe told her, after two months at the base, that Hawkeye was about to be shipped off to Indonesia in a few days, she almost panicked. What if he was killed there? The feeling would never go away, then. Her debt would haunt her for the rest of her life and she really didn't need another personal ghost. She decided to give him at least a reason to come back – an advance.

He was packing when she sneaked in his room in the evening. Still, he almost shot her before he recognized her.

„What are you doing here?" he asked angrily, lowering his bow.

„I came to wish you good luck," she replied and moved closer.

There was a moment of silence. He didn't understand. He looked at her and he didn't have a clue how very few people were offered this. And that even fewer lived to tell the tale.

„You are the first man who defeated me," she whispered and laid her hand on his chest.

He almost jumped backwards like she bit him again. His expression was one she had never seen associated with herself – disgust.

„Really? Don't you have any self respect? At all?"

Was this what humiliation felt like? Natasha was furious. Nobody humiliated the Black Widow. Her anger got the best of her and for a moment she was considering the various ways to hurt him. Unfortunately Hawkeye understood her better than she thought and had an arrow pointed at her head before she could make a move.

„Leave," he snarled. „Now. Don't try that again."

And she did.

She went to the winter garden, sat on a bench and pulled her legs up. It was the most hidden corner where they wouldn't find her for hours. It felt like that small closet in Odesa where she used to hide as a child. But they always found her there and they beat her up.

Memories were poison, she had know that for a long time. Sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, but they'd kill you if you dwell in them for too long. The memory of Hawkeye rejecting her was one of the most bitter ones. He was the first man who openly, truly despised her and she hated him for it with every part of her heart.

„Natasha?"

Of course, it would take them hours to find her, if they hadn't a person who knew all about her love for this place..

Abe Kirk sat next to her and she realized she wasn't just angry. She was sad, something she hadn't been for a while.

„How do I look?" she asked before she could stop herself. She was surprised how desperate it sounded. A little girl pleading for reassurance.

„Sexy as hell and deadly as a wet floor," Abe answered.

„How is wet floor deadly?" Natasha frowned.

„Have you ever tried not slipping on it?"

Natasha had to laugh. Another rare thing for her. „You really think I'm sexy?"

„I'm married, I'm not allowed to judge that," he winked at her. „Janet may not be a top class assassin, but she can still poison me."

She looked at him and even in the dim light saw that he was telling the truth. He did think she was attractive, but loved his wife too much to consider Natasha as anything more than a colleague.

„How do you repay a life debt?" she asked after a moment of silence.

Abe's eyes widened as he realized what her two questions meant. „You didn't..." he began but stopped soon enough. „I... I have only one debt like this," he admitted in the end.

„What did you do?"

„I married her."

Natasha thought of the disgust on Hawkeye's face. „Well, that doesn't seem like an option for me."

XXX

It was a small bar in Jakarta where the soldiers and agents from a nearby SHIELD base went in their free time. Clint was halfway through his fifth beer and wondered how many more it will take to get rid of the image of Natasha in his room.

She tried to seduce him. And he almost shot her. Was something wrong with him? If the girl really had some stupid teenage crush on him, he broke her heart. But then again, this was the Black Widow and she probably didn't even know what a crush is. Still there was no reason to act like she was a demon trying to steal his virtue.

He knocked back the rest of his beer and ordered a tequila. As he drank it, a female SHIELD agent sat on the stool next to him. She was only one or two years older than him and they used to work together. Those long blonde hair and face of a porcelain doll were unmistakeable.

„Hi, Clint," she said with a smile and ordered a vodka.

„Hello, Hannah. How are you doing?"

„Same old," she waved her hand. She wasn't drunk, perhaps a little tipsy. Just like Clint. „How about you? I've heard about Marty..."

„Don't say you're sorry," he stopped her. „I'm sick of hearing that."

„In that case," she rose her glass to him, „maybe we can pick up where we left off in Denver."

The simple sentence took him one year back to a beautiful week of an undercover mission. They acted as a weapon dealer and his mistress and they were a little bit more in character than required. Unfortunately Fury found out and pulled Hannah out, but it was still the only undercover mission Clint had ever enjoyed.

„That's not a bad idea."

When he woke up in his room, Hannah wasn't there, but his communicator was showing two messages. The first one was from Colonel Goldstein, the commander of the base.

Nine o'clock sharp, my office. Don't be late. No need to suit up."

Well, the Colonel wasn't known for being talkative. It looked like Clint was about to get some work, which was exactly what he needed. It wasn't like the night with Hannah wasn't good, but it wasn't enough to help him forget everything that happened since he saw Marty being dragged away.

The second message was from Hannah.

I've got a message from the Colonel and I had to go. Didn't want to wake you up. Sorry, see you later."

He looked at the clock. It was 8:50. Clint quickly dressed and left, but he still arrived a couple of minutes late. He was surprised to find Fury and Hannah there with one more man he didn't know. The Colonel wasn't there.

„Nice of you to show up," Fury said. „You know agent Mackay and I wanted to introduce you to agent Thomas Serrano. Agent Serrano, this is agent Clint Barton."

Agent Serrano was taller than Clint and the kind of a man you imagine in a Calvin Klein commercial – dark haired with black eyes and athletic figure. Clint had never trusted those kind of people, but admitted that there was a little bit of jealousy involved. He just nodded at him and turned to Fury.

„You have a mission for me, sir?"

„For all of you," he said and passed Clint a photograph of a young woman. „Irina Dreykova, daughter of Konstantin Dreykov. Sixteen years old. Body count nine people, as far as we know. We want to provoke Dreykov to make a move, so we figured that finishing his little girl off would do the trick."

Why were they so keen on sending him after kids? How old was his next target going to be, five? He wanted this mission even less than he wanted the last one.

„Where is she?" he asked.

„In Bombay. We know about an appointment she has in a couple of days and you can prepare your ground. Mackay. Serrano, you are going to do the job, Barton, you're going to cover them from above."

Great, so he got the babysitting job. Was he really that useless?

„And you are not allowed to bring her back alive," Fury added with a pointed look at Clint.

„There's no need for a ground team," said Clint. „I can do this alone."

Fury smirked. „I used to think so."