Title: Squeaky Toy (2k14 turtle tweens)

Rating: T


"Stop splashing water on me Mikey," Raph grumbled over his shoulder, giving Mikey a semi-sharp look before continuing on.

"Hehe, whatever Raphie," Mikey said sticking his tongue out, crossing his eyes, and waggling his hands to either side of his head. Raph smirked and turned back around, only to pin Mikey with what he thought was a menacing look when he felt water splash his legs again. Mikey just laughed and ran ahead to catch up with and bother Leo.

"You really shouldn't be touching that Raph, it's dirty," Donnie said referring to the long rusty pipe that Raph was using as a walking stick/investigation prod.

"Oh really Donnie, I hadn't noticed how dirty it was. You know why? Cause we're in a freakin' sewer Donnie everything is dirty," Raph said, the sarcasm making Donnie frown behind his too-big glasses.

"Whatever," Donnie said pushing his glasses back up on his face. "When you get a bad case of tetanus don't come running to me," he mumbled as he hitched up his overalls and ran to where Leo and Mikey were looking at something they found.

"When you get a bad case of tet-tat- whatever don't come running to me," Raph mocked under his breath. He had looked ahead and was mildly intrigued that his brothers seemed to have found something interesting.

He wanted to see just as badly, but refused to run over there like he was desperate or something. He'd thought the secret trip through the sewers would be more exciting. He told them if they went at night it would be more fun, but Leo had spoken against it saying something about not being able to see their way. He said it even after Donnie had shown him the flashlight. Whatever. He didn't like this safe little trip, but sitting in the lair was even more boring.

He didn't even know why Master Splinter didn't want them roaming around. He was eleven years old for goodness sakes. Well, Leo was eleven too, but somehow Raph felt as though his eleven was better than Leo's eleven. He was bigger so he was older in his mind, regardless of what Master Splinter said.

As Raph got closer to his brothers he saw that they were huddled around some toys. There were a few action figures, a deck of what looked like Yu-Gi-Oh cards that were messed up but maybe salvageable, and a few small toy cars that Raph recognized as Hot Wheels. He loved those things. He loved cars and motorcycles and vehicles in general. When he was younger and stupid he thought he could maybe be a mechanic or something. That was before he realized he was so different and that the humans on the surface would not accept the likes of him or his brothers.

Raphael hunkered down next to an extremely excited Mikey who was busy gathering up the playing cards and trying to hog all the action figures too.

"This one's mine, and this one's mine, ooh ooh, and this one's mine too…" Mikey said laughing and snatching up all the toys.

"Hey Mikey, it's no fair!" Donnie whined trying to get his hands on those cards and at least one of the figures. Mikey slapped his hands away and hugged the toys to his chest.

"It's not my fault you're slow and can't see!" Mikey said before he realized what had come out of his mouth.

"Mikey!" Leo reprimanded. "Now apologize to Donnie, right now," he said shoving Mikey and taking some of the toys from him. This elicited a whine as Mikey scooted towards Donnie with his head down.

"Sorry Donnie, I didn't mean to be mean," Mikey said giving his brother the big baby eyes and reaching for a hug. Donnie's face was scrunched and skinny arms folded over his thin chest. He frowned at his brother as he adjusted his glasses for the thousandth time. As Mikey got closer Donnie swatted his arm.

"Ow! I said sorry Donnie," Mikey said rubbing his arm and pouting.

"Don't make fun of me! Dad says it's not my fault I'm myopic and it's not. I can't help it Mikey," Donnie said plaintively although he was trying to sound angry. It just came out as hurt feelings.

"What's 'my pics' Donnie?" Mikey asked innocently. Donnie was about to roll his eyes when he realized he had never actually explained that to Mikey before.

"My-op-ic. It means I can see things closer to me really well, but things that are far away I can't see so clearly," Donnie explained his anger ebbing. He knew Mikey didn't mean any harm, not like how Raph means when he calls him four eyes.

Mikey scooted closer and then to Donnie's surprise kissed both lenses of his glasses. When Donnie smiled, Mikey leaned back in this time giving Donnie a long saliva-ridden lick across his cheek, then jumped back out of his brother's long reach.

"Why did you do that?!" Donnie exclaimed mortified at the sheer amount of germs Mikey had just passed to him. He jumped up to give a halfhearted chase, but he knew his younger brother was too fast. He would have to outsmart him instead.

"I wanted to kiss you up close so you could see how sorry I was," Mikey said, laughing hysterically as he ran around in circles with his arms spread wide like an airplane.

"Oh, you're gonna be sorry alright," Donnie muttered, a sneaky smile spreading across his face. He pulled his staff out and readied it. Right as Mikey ran past, eyes crossed and laughing, Donnie shot the staff out. It caused Mikey to fall backwards right into the pile of toys that Leo had so carefully arranged.

"Aaaaaggh!" Mikey yelled to the top of his lungs, rubbing his plastron and looking at Donnie accusingly. Then, he started laughing even more. "Again! I bet you won't get me next time!" Mikey shouted rocking on his carapace and springing to his feet.

"Stop it guys," Leo tried to say with authority but he was laughing too hard for it to mean much.

Satisfied with himself, Donnie sat back down to help Leo divvy up the haul of toys. Seeing that the toys were about to be handed out without him, Mikey eventually settled down too.

"Okay, we'll just go eenie-meenie-minie-mo to pick," Leo said getting a nod from Mikey and thoughtful look from Donnie. Then Leo noticed Raph had walked down the tunnel a ways and was kneeling down looking at something although from his angle Leo couldn't tell what it was.

"You coming over to pick out your toys Raph?" Leo called to him. He knew Raph would probably want the toy cars even if he didn't say so.

"Huh?" Raph called back over his shoulder. If Leo didn't know any better he would have said Raph had a guilty look on his face. He couldn't figure out why that would be so, they had all sneaked out of the lair while Splinter was gone, and so they were all equally guilty.

"I said don't you wanna come pick a toy. They're in pretty good condition actually. I know you want the cars…"

"Yeah, yeah, save me the cars," Raph said turning quickly back around to look at whatever he had in his hands.

"Whatever, you're always so cranky," Leo muttered more to himself than anyone else. He set the toy cars aside and started the eenie-meenie-minie-mo in order to divide the rest of the spoils.

Donnie hadn't liked the method of choosing, but since he'd ended up with the Yu-Gi-Oh cards he was happy about the outcome. He looked down at the old watch that he had found and fixed a couple of weeks before.

"Uh oh, guys we gotta hustle before dad gets home!" He said hating the way his voice went all high pitched whenever he got excited. Mikey giggled and jumped up already starting to run back towards the lair.

"Race ya! Last one to the lair was hatched from a rotten egg!" He called unfairly giving himself a head start.

"Uh uh, you're not beating me this time knucklehead!" Leo called as he started after him.

"Come on Raph!" Donnie called as he also started running back.

"Alright here I come!" Raph said, first carefully tucking his secret item into the inner pocket of his favorite red windbreaker he always wore. Then he set off after his brothers who were way ahead of him, but he could clearly hear their whooping and hollering ring through the tunnels.


They'd come away from their earlier adventure with Splinter none the wiser. They had agreed to hide their toys for the time being so that sensei wouldn't ask them any questions. This was more than fine for Raphael who laid in his hammock with a tattered magazine spread out before him. Every time he thought he heard footsteps that might have been coming his way, he hurriedly put the magazine away, heart beating fast and all his hearing attuned. When he felt like all was safe, he opened his magazine again and gawked at the pictures.

The cover was torn halfway, so all he could make out were the last four letters of the title 'YBOY', whatever that meant. Inside, the pages were torn, some were muddied, but he could make out what this particular magazine was all about and he was amazed. It was girls. Lots and lots of girls and they were naked, all of them. Raph didn't know all the names to all the parts, but he knew for a fact that it was something Master Splinter would 100% disapprove of if he knew about it. So Raphael knew he had to keep this a secret, especially from nosy Mikey, and tattle-tell Leo.

Reverently Raphael gazed at each photo. Before now he hadn't given a whole lot of thought about girls and what they looked like. He knew he was different enough that none of them would ever think he was cute or like him. If he were being honest with himself, he had not long gotten out of the 'cootie' phase and thinking that human girls had to be nasty looking, with no shell, no tail, and no scales. How wrong he had been about that. How deliciously wrong he had been.


Leo sat up in his bed. He listened for a second, but when the sound didn't come again he laid down. Right as his head hit the pillow there it was again. He thought back to the toys they'd found. None of them were soft, so they couldn't be making that noise.

'Squeeeaak'

There it was again, that squeaky sound. Who had a squeaky toy? Leo crept up and leaned against his bedroom door. When he heard only that sound again he opened his door slowly. He looked down the hall and all was quiet, not even the lights from the computer were flickering underneath Donnie's door.

'Squeeeeeaaaak'

Leo stood silent turning towards the source of the sound. It was coming from…Raph's room? Big bad Raph was playing with a squeaky toy? He smiled slyly as he crept towards Raph's room. This was gonna be so good.

So caught up in his secret magazine was Raph, that he hadn't heard Leo's approach. It wasn't until his door opened and Leo stepped through it did he realize his precarious position.

"Leo!" Raph whisper screamed as he almost fell out of his hammock, scrambling to put something away under his pillow and flipping onto his plastron.

In the darkness Leo couldn't make out what was happening, but his eyes narrowed suspiciously anyway. He'd wanted to catch Raph in some embarrassing act, but couldn't help but think he'd walked in on something a little more involved than playing with a squeaky toy.

"What the hell are you doing in here?! It says 'Do Not Disturb' on my door, or can't you read yet?!" Raph continued to whisper scream. He was completely mortified, had turned a deep red, and was therefore entirely irate. Not to mention he'd been thoroughly 'interrupted'.

"You're the one in here playing with a very loud squeaky toy Raph, I just came to check it out," Leo whisper screamed back as he turned to make sure the door was soundly closed behind him. He was trying to be just as put out as Raph, but he knew he was infringing on Raph in his personal space, late at night at that.

"And by 'check it out' you mean spy on me you freak! I hate you Leo! Now get out or I'll tell dad!" Raph threatened. He usually didn't bother threatening his brothers with telling their father. Typically he just beat them up for any trespasses against him, but he was flustered and couldn't think of anything more effective than that to ruffle Little Boy Blue's feathers. It almost worked as Leo started to turn and leave, but something stopped him.

Leo couldn't pinpoint it, but something was off. By now Raph would have leaped at him from across the room and they would have been fighting. For some reason Raph was laying there, obviously furious but still not fighting. There was just no way he was that embarrassed over a children's toy. Nope, it was something else and Leo was intent on finding out what. He knew he should probably just leave, but this was too good an opportunity for payback to leave alone.

"Get out Leo. I'm warnin' you" Raph threatened again, this time sitting up a little.

"I will. After you give me the squeaky toy. I can't sleep with you making all that noise," Leo said calmly as he walked a little closer with his hand out.

"I ain't got no toy stupid, now get the fuck out Leo!" Raph whispered again, shaking with anger.

"If you don't give me whatever you were just hiding I'm gonna tell dad you were cussing, and then you'll be in the Ha'shi for the rest of your stupid life!" Leo threatened pulling out what he hoped was a Trump card.

Raph was so mad he could have split Leo's shell in half, but the threat was real. Lately he had been cussing up a storm and sensei told him the next time he heard Raph cuss, or if his brothers told that he cussed, Raph was going to spend a very long time in the Ha'shi. Raph hated the Ha'shi. He hated that stupid tricycle, and he hated that stupid knitting….sort of. Well, he hated it when it was part of the Ha'shi. Raph weighed his options. Perhaps if he shared what he had, Leo would be less inclined to rat it out. After all, if he was looking too he couldn't tell on Raph about it. He'd be just as guilty.

"Alright, but you have to keep your big mouth shut. Promise me Leo!" Raph said, sitting up all the way and trying to pin Leo with a glare in the darkness.

"Okay, okay. I promise not to tell, now show me what you've got," Leo said, intrigued now that his interest had been piqued. It wasn't every day that Raph caved so easily. Whatever it was, it must've been a big deal.

Reluctantly Raph went over to his desk to get a pen light that he got from Donnie. He came back to his hammock and sat down, making sure to shine the light directly in Leo's eyes.

"Sit down doofus," Raph said. Obediently Leo sat next to him and waited.

"Now, I'm about to show you somethin' that I found today. You can't tell it Leo I swear or I'll beat you up every day even if dad makes me stay in the Ha'shi forever, you got that?" Raph threatened once more. Leo agreed, wanting now more than ever to see what Raph had. This had to be good.

As if he were revealing the map to the lost city of Atlantis, Raph pulled the tattered old magazine from under his pillow. With the pen light in his mouth, he sat it on his lap and opened it. Leo let out a small gasp, and Raph smiled around the pen light. He had him. Leo would never tell now.

"Raph, you shouldn't have this. This is nasty stuff about girls," Leo whispered, truly not wanting to be heard now. Despite his own warnings he was more than entranced by the images he could make out. He never thought human girls could look so….nice.

"I know it's nasty stuff, but if you wanna look at it sometimes you can. We gotta keep it a secret though or we'll both be in trouble," Raph whispered back. He was nervous about it, but also glad he had something first before Leo. He had seen naked girls first, and it was kind of a big deal.

Leo stared wide-eyed and slack jawed at the pictures. He flipped through the whole book twice before Raph had to kick him out. As if in a daze Leo did go back to his room, unable to sleep with those images dancing in his head. Raph couldn't help but smile to himself as he heard a faint but very familiar squeaking sound coming from Leo's room.